I have so many thoughts in my head right now that I can feel the weight of them pushing me down. There is so much going on at one time in my life right now that I don’t know how to sort it all out or how to even begin to deal with it. First there is all my friends leaving; I knew this was coming but for some reason in my sick and twisted world I had made myself believe that I had so much time to say goodbye and that summer was just going to last forever and no one was really going […]
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Thoughts In My Head
I literally have suicidal thoughts in my head all of the time. I can’t even cope anymore, I have no one now me and my boyfriend broke up:(  I thought he was going to help me get through everything but clearly not. It all started at the beginning of 2012, we started talking and I was so happy but then I  started to get  bullied. I then developed an eating disorder, anxiety disorder and depression. I started to cut myself and ended up having cuts all up my wrists and thighs. I would go home and cry for hours. During this time,  Josh, my boyfriend, […]
Anyone seen Wreck-It-Ralph?
Well, the title’s inspired by it.
Finals are next week. I’m barely keeping up in one class. That class has the E. The rest of them are B’s or higher. Science has never interested me much, and the only time it did was in Biology. That was the only class I liked. And then Accelarated Chemistry this year just tore my mind to shreds.
Just trying to understand the very basics of Chemistry will send me into a suicidal-crying-fit. Now it’s finals, and I still don’t understand 90% of it. I tried to get out of it before, but I couldn’t. So I just tried […]
I know I’m new here. I’ve had these thoughts in my head for years, but no one understands me. My meds are off. I’m trying new ones, but they aren’t working fast enough.  Every med I’ve tried either doesn’t work or has side effects that are worse than the damn depression. Therapists have never worked. I’ve never found one that I liked or trusted. I’m afraid that the first one I talked to honestly would dump me in a looney bin or have me forcibly committed. So I can’t open up to them. Basically, everything in my relationship is my fault. Everything. When I try […]
Hi, my name is Tatyana, people call me tatty. As I was growing up everything seemed normal, mom always thought I had ADHD and everyone else said I was normal. But I wasn’t. My mom met the man ad her dreams, so she thought. He was nice, to her. Me.. Well he’d beat the hell out of me. He’s make me bleed, he smashed me so hard he got my blood on the wall and on my bed, I was only 5 years old. I’ve been in 8 foster homes. They were all horrible. Tryed killing myself when I was 7 I over dosed on […]
Hello.
I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.
My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.
I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school, Â so far the hardest year of my life.
There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.
My Brain
The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]
Hey guys. I feel really dumb posting on this thing but I don’t know what to do. I have been feeling wicked low lately, well for a while but really really bad lately. I cannot even really put my finger on what is wrong. It just is. Everything feels awful to me. When I am with people I want to be alone and when I am alone I don’t want to be although when I am around other people I barely feel like I am even there. I can hardly think or get control of myself. I have no motivation and I feel empty and […]
The thought of death sometimes gives me this warm tingly feeling inside. The thought of never having to worry about my life, or about what I am going to do with my life gives me a high. I look at knives and I cant help but pick one up…….I run my finger over the blade to feel how sharp it is, As I do that I think what would happen to my family? my friends? my boyfriend? Would I be selfish for leaving this world and leaving them behind? The pain of knowing how much it would hurt others is more painful than actually being here. I […]
I’m Haley. I’m 17 years old.
Since I was in 4th grade, i’ve had voices and thoughts in my head that tell me to kill myself. Since last year, I just complained that they weren’t me.
I realize now, they are me. Every night, I come home and research ways to kill myself. But being the wimp I am, I look up if it’s painful.The repeating words to just end it all ring in my head day after day.
I’m getting so sick of this. I need a painless way out.
I plan to buy a gun the moment I can.
Boom.
My family is susceptible to bouts of severe depression, and it’s finally hit me. Every day I go to sleep hoping I won’t wake up. What’s worst is that I know there are people with lives so much worse than mine, and I feel guilty and shallow when I think about that. My life isn’t even that horrible – I have parents who love me, even if they sometimes don’t show it. My brother cares about me, and I care about him. But I haven’t really felt love. Every day, I wake up dreading what lies ahead, be it school or just facing other people, […]
Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meet are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]
Tired of the same thing. Every day. Feeling like garbage, wishing I was normal. Â
Sick of feeling sorry for myself, thinking about my problems instead of helping myself or others.  I recognize that I am self absorbed, but I can’t stop these thoughts. I want them to go away, but they don’t. I’ve tried Diazepam, Ativan, Effexor. They didn’t help me feel better, they just made me feel like a zombie; Neither good nor bad. I spoke to a medical doctor, a therapist, a psychologist, a parent, and a friend. They helped me hang on. Told me pleasant lies to subdue my anxiety and placate my mood, at least for those moments I was with them. But […]