i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
Tag:
Thoughts Running Through My Head
While I am reminiscing on the memories that slowly but sweetly tortures my heart.
With all the thoughts running through my head.
Was there something that could be changed?
And somehow make all the pain that was created to go away
I don’t want you back
I want the happiness you brought to my heart
And knew someone cared
But I guess im not well enough or someone you would love to always be there
Now the days are surely getting harder
And im longing for your thoughts
The way you used to hold me
Did you think that I forgot?
I may not be what you want
But im someone that is begging on my knees
Somehow I […]
Let’s see. 4 years. 4 years ago was the first time I took a blade to my own wrist. And now here I am, barely a teenager and I want to die for the millionth time. Whenever something bad happens I automatically think; “let’s save that for later, you can rid the tainted blood with one trip to your special drawer”. But sometimes, sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes I just have a thousand thoughts running through my head, all of the bad things that have happened and keep happening. Hey, your antidepressants make you cold all the fucking time. Your dad is never here and […]
Rapidly spiraling
down,
down,
always downward.
Never up.
Envisioning in my mind
of blood running down my arm
my face
my stomach
my legs & ankles.
Feelings of nothingness.
Wanting to cry, throw up,
and turn away with guilt and regret.
Suicidal Tendencies come forth,
beckoning and pushing me away
from the temporary refuge
I had inexplicably found in dreams.
Regrets pile up around me
little post-it notes on the walls
covered in despair and insanity.
Incomprehensible thoughts running through my head
screaming in agony I bleed
scarlet rivulets create a river of inconsistencies.