I’m tired of pretending that nothing is wrong with me. I’m tired of hiding my depression from my friends and family. I’m tired of feeling alone. I just want to escape the path I’m on. I saw a boy in my grade succumb to death, and I didn’t even shed a tear, yet I really want to be with him right now. I’m tired of being the perfect girl, and pretending it doesn’t effect me when someone calls me a skank, cause I’m not. I’ve never even kissed anyone. I’m tired of being the pathetic one that my best friend has to console. I’m tired […]
Tag:
tired of this
I’m so tired of everything. the quickie marriage to a needy husband (thank god we don’t have kids together), the mean baby daddy, the holier than thou ex-wife, the annoying step-teenager, my teenager that I love dearly, who is my only joy, that is trying to fail, maybe to go live with her much better off financially father, then he gets to be the bad guy, not her, and just life in general.
my super needy husband, is a fucking looser, then he needs praise for simple shit that any grown man should be doing a million times better/more effective than he’s doing it. won’t pay […]
Been reading that the problem with the suicide is that the person feels more pain than they can cope with. But I don’t feel pain anymore. I’m just tired. EXHAUSTED. Everything in my life is loss and debts and failures and panic attacks and I’m tired of this. I used to feel a lot of pain. Now I don’t. Not anymore. I just want to stop existing.
I’m about done, I’m tired of being the last child, I’m a twin, we’re the oldest, yet she gets everything, he gets everything, the baby gets everything. “How come I didn’t get to go to the restaurant?” -me. “Because we thought you were going to go outside.” -mum. “You don’t let me outside, I’m not allowed outside. Things would be easier if you didn’t have four kids, you could easily take care of us all, and maybe love us equally.” Then of course I get sent to my room. I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired of this life…
-BloodShallShed
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m tired of this cold world. For you to reject my offered hand with a slap, you’ve made your point clear.
I’ll be leaving later but know this… I would’ve tried my best to keep you afloat. I wouldn’t give up until I got you ashore. I would’ve gave you CPR for as long as you needed. If none of that was possible, I would’ve drowned with you in the icy, cold water, instead of drowning alone like I currently am.
Whatever. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m going to trade this cold for something warmer soon… Even if it is burning.
It’s so hard on me. It really is. I don’t even know how to feel. It’s like everything is a lie.
The guy I mentioned on my last post has been the cause of my problems. It’s all because I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.
Monday night I was feeling so down about my mom and him and just everything (Tuesday was my mom’s death anniversary) and so I texted him. I said “My mom died 7 years ago. You would understand right?”
His reply?
His exact words were “Ugh I’m sorry I’m not trying to be mean but can you please stop texting me”.
The only […]
Ugliness Complex I’m ugly and complexed though I’m not that deep
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
Ive been rejected hundreds of times in person and thousands of times online. No one wants to fuck a fat ugly depressed unconfident anxious broke piece of shit. I’ll admit i no longer try to talk to women. In the same way someone who can’t play basketball stops shooting baskets after missing every shot. Socially i live in a different world than everyone else. I dont have any social networking. I dont go to bars(panic attacks and i hate liquor) i didn’t go to parties when i was younger. I havent been alive to an extent most people just dont understand. I hate this world […]
Protected: I could kill myself at any time and I should do it now
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
All I think about is killing myself . I try to be happy in moments but I can never seem to do it . All I have been thinking about lately is wanting to die . I don’t know if I can make it in 2016
“The responsible one, the mature one, the reasonable and the rational one. No, I could never just take all that Xanax that’s not right. Gotta keep the grades up gotta stay smart gotta do it right or it all goes downhill.”
Right? That’s who I fucking am, right?
But, you see, I’m so god damned tired of being the responsible, mature, rational girl that knows not to make stupid decisions. Drugs and alcohol are no good, I know what they do to you. I’ve sat through every fucking school assembly about how deadly that lifestyle is, I’ve witnessed people go down that path and never return. But […]
When it seams things may go at last better somth goes wrong.I am tired of this..And can’t stand this yealing.Mum just yeals. Why I have this stuped mind?
I have failed to get control of my thoughts. It’s so hard for me to think good thoughts. Anything positive that comes to my head is thwarted and all I see is gloom and doom. Immobilizing existential crises and depression are steadily eating away at me. Advice gives me an anxiety attack. I always have a toxic serum tucked away under my pillow. My friend won’t talk to me anymore because she thinks I am irredeemable and I guess depression is contagious. I feel so guilty and worthless because she beat her depression and I am still stuck in this rut. I guess I can […]
Unlike the human race who keeps trying to stay alive, I try to die every day. I’ve become so close, I have no fear of anything anymore. I cut more more each day, and take more xanax each day and if I bled to death or did not wake up it would be ok, I’m just not afraid anymore. That’s how I know that I’m finally at the End. Each day to stay alive is a new struggle and I’m tired of this fight, I don’t even want fight anymore so I’m thinking today is the day. Anna
Hi everyone, it’s been a while now since I’ve been checking this site and it’s my first post.
Im a 37 yrs old man from Lebanon (Middle East) and have been suicidal for about three months now. I’ve never opened up to anyone about this. I’m facing collosal monsters (dept, family and work problems)… recently realized that I’m clinically depressed (wasn’t diagnosed though) and that I pushed away every single human being in my life.
I’m sinking into this downward spiral no matter how hard I try to escape it. Really fucking tired of this shit called life and I don’t know if I have the balls […]
Tired of hiding behind everything. Lost all motivation. Trying hard not to give up. Haven’t shed a tear today which is a change. Still tired of this bipolar suicide shit. I’m suicidal.. Now I’m not.. Now I am again.. This is one crazy planet. Wait I’ll just check with myself again I now may not be suicidal. Lol
I know no one can help me even ssri’s give me serotonin syndrome after only a few short days being on them. Which suck because the first day or two being on them is good.
God did you screw up giving life to me with a mental disease or […]
I am so sick and tired of this life. Everyday is like Groundhog Day. When I wake up i wonder why only to find out that my life Sucks!!! I am soo depressed, anxious, stressed out by the littlest things and my solution to these symptoms is to drink and drug. I know many other coping skills but none work for me. I have attempted suicide many times and cant even get that right. Suicide is on my mind daily and I think i am going to try a more violent method next time. I want to do it June 11th the day before my […]
I love those two so much. they are why im here. i dont have many people and its a cold world out there. i cant find a job, and im tired of this. i miss my friends on this site. i dont want to die. but, hey, at least i wont grow old. i love u all.
This isn’t something I typically talk about because it isn’t an easy subject to approach. I’m going back to my doctor soon to figure out how far things have progressed or if they’ve changed at all. I really don’t think I want to know. I’m so tired of this.
I would kill to feel like I could trust someone. Anyone. But people come into my life and I throw them away just as quickly. Id rather hurt them than let them hurt me. Might as well beat them to the punch. Right?
In all honesty, I’m scared. Of everything. I don’t know where to turn. don’t […]
I’m just so tired of being lonely, I feel like Im already dead as I don’t exist at all. People only remember me when they need something. They have my number but yet only call and text me when they want something. Everyone ignores me. I can’t take it anymore, I wish I was dead. I’m tired of this cruel and unfair world..My depression is at the point where I can’t take it anymore. There is no meaning of life to me and nobody cares about me, what’s the point. All I can say is that being lonely for several years is painful and suffering, […]
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