Struggling these past few days and it’s hurting those around me.
Especially my child. I made them cry twice today. I’m so messed up right now I told my 2 year old to shut up.
Why? They were hungry while I was trying to angrily call the state about my insurance that’s going to be cancelled next month.
No insurance when I’m 8 months pregnant. Awesome. Worse case scenario I’ll stop all prenatal and deliver at home completely unassisted medically. I can’t afford the bill. It’s whatever. I’m not even worried about birth.
The thing I should be worried about is postpartum depression. I’m currently in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist but I’m not totally honest with them because I already lost said 2 year old due to my mental illness. Obviously today I proved I should’ve.
I’m such a failure as a mom. Even if I brought my kid back I’m still a piece and I’m bringing another kid into this world. Idk what I was thinking. It’s a strong possibility I’ll celebrate my last birthday this year. I can’t keep hurting everyone because I’m in pain.