Tag:

triggered

To cut or not to cut

by They Call Me Amy 5/25/2016

written by They Call Me Amy

Every 6 months I have a breakdown. Too much stress to handle. I have been six months free, but now something triggered me to cut.

I have a strong feeling my dad is cheating on my mom, and she feels the same way, even tho she doesnt tell me

My dad can’t even take his eyes off other women to talk to me. He is the reason why I am scared of weddings, and the reason why I can’t trust any guy I know.

I am feeling like the stress has been piling up for many months and the fact that my dad is an asshole just made […]

5/25/2016 4 comments

What Do I Do?

by emotionalnightmare 4/27/2016

written by emotionalnightmare

What do I do if I’m extremely triggered to self-harm. I mean, extremely, extremely triggered and I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack if I don’t cut. What do I do?

4/27/2016 5 comments

I just need to vent

by Ijustwanttoendit 4/4/2016

written by Ijustwanttoendit

I just want someone to vent to, but I have no friends, I was once close to my siblings but I think they all kind of just got tired of me, and everyone else who is supposed to be my support system tells me people have it worse than I do so I have no reason to be depressed and quite honestly I have no Idea why my depression started, but I do know what triggered my suicidal tendencies and what is keeping me down and I want someone to listen with the intention of understanding and no just to reply. I want that without […]

4/4/2016 9 comments

Healing

by jrmeador94 4/4/2016

written by jrmeador94

My depression was triggered 2 years ago by trauma.

Trauma can be anything to different people.

Mine was having sex with a random stranger. And for the first time.

My DBT therapist once said it takes a traumatized brain 18 months to heal.

In 2 years I have gone back to the trauma of hooking up for a total of 147 times.

I have idealized suicide many times. This included staring at an intersection of speeding cars, and a slab of marble 5 stories below me.

I have begged for the pain to stop for 2 years…

And I am starting to heal.

If you are hurting, traumatized, desperate […]

4/4/2016 1 comment

My new music

by Cordless 3/6/2016

written by Cordless

If you read my “Axe Murderer” post earlier, you know I wrote some new music recently. Here it is.

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Triggering.mp3
.

Way different from the other two compositions I posted awhile back.

During one of my comments today, I described it like this:

It’s a bit darker and more chaotic than the kind of music I usually write.
It starts out like a dark smooth Gregorian Chant, and ends up sorta like an axe murderer is just realizing there are all sorts of pointy objects around.

It’s called “Triggering” because last week some issues triggered an especially dark pit of depression.

3/6/2016 114 comments

I’m not really an axe-murderer, I swear.

by Cordless 3/6/2016

written by Cordless

Since last night my internet connection died unexpectedly, I had to wait until I could get out of the house and go somewhere with WiFi.

While I was offline, I decided to use the time by writing some more music.

It’s a piece I started last week, during my extra dark bad days. Some things happened that triggered a pretty nasty pit of depression. It was bad and ugly and nasty, and I’m sorry for those of you that got to see that side of me.

Now I’m back to just my usual moderate day-to-day depression.
(Yay, I guess.)

But enough about that… the music!!
It’s a […]

3/6/2016 25 comments

Geez

by Harlot.Rebel 2/5/2016

written by Harlot.Rebel

Its been awhile probably because I’ve been happy and getting good help. But now some bad decisions on my part has triggered my depression bad. I’m trying not to think suicidal but i am going to cut so I won’t. I was 2 months clean. I hate my life.

2/5/2016 3 comments

Better day today

by Salesman 12/8/2015

written by Salesman

Hard day yesterday. Cried a lot. I usually hold it in for a month or two and then it all comes bursting out. It sucks but I always feel much better the next day. I was listening to JJ Grey and Mofro’s song Sun is Shining Down and it triggered me. I’m not religious at all. I think it is the powerful emotion in his voice.

12/8/2015 1 comment

My mother

by nicole123 11/19/2015

written by nicole123

I just heard this song for the first time in such a long time . It makes me sad . It reminds me so much of my mom. And I really wish she was here to of help me grow up and see my life and just be here with me . She’s gone forever . But this song also reminded me of the happiest time of my life when I was 15. This was my favorite song . I went to a Pink Floyd tribute concert the day after Christmas with all my friends and I was just so happy and carefree . Triggered […]

11/19/2015 20 comments

why

by lxthium 8/21/2015

written by lxthium

I listened to one song. One song is all it took for me to feel triggered again. On august 6th I overdosed, got out of the hospital on the 9th. That should’ve scared me out of feeling like this, but it didn’t. I still feel like this. I just want to be happy again.

8/21/2015 1 comment

triggered by a book

by passionfruit3 6/3/2015

written by passionfruit3

Ive just read this book im not even finished but in the book boy sets himself on fire as a suicide attempt.and for some reason i cant stop thinking about burning a huge portion of my arm on the kitchen stove at the highest temperature. The good news is its got my mind off killing myself im worried about catching my building on fire in the process. Im worried i may not be able to stop myself. I worry about doing damage i cant repair.i told my friend though i don’t mind if i lose the arm.it’s ugly and maybe itll mean ill never be […]

6/3/2015 2 comments

I just did.

by jmgsing 4/17/2015

written by jmgsing

Less than a year ago, I have done so many horrible things and the worst is, I tried to commit suicide. I have put to shame my very own name and the names of many others. I was 18 and I was at the lowest of lows, I have experienced a wide assortment of emotions. I have felt a way no one should ever be allowed to feel.

Up to now, I still can’t tell exactly why I did it. I was just so mixed up inside and I do not know what triggered me to do such thing. I never thought I could do […]

4/17/2015 1 comment

Here I go again

by IndigoMasquerade 12/25/2014

written by IndigoMasquerade

I’m in tears tonight. Not entirely sure what triggered it right now, but I’m hurting and I just don’t want to be here at all. I’m just ready to leave this world.

12/25/2014 4 comments

PTSD Trigger My Life has No Meaning

by Gale 12/14/2014

written by Gale

My life has no meaning. I am triggered, PTSD. He said it, but it is not his fault. It is me, something inside of me. I can’t even remember what we were talking about. But the last thing I remember is he said, “I’ve done that. That industry [the industry I have worked in] is nothing special. It’s old technology. Everybody knows it. It’s not like you’re splitting an atom or something.”

My knowledge is nothing. My experience is nothing. I am nothing. My life has no meaning. That is the progression. There is no logical reason for me to live. I can’t make a meaningful […]

12/14/2014 0 comment

Suicide room(Film)

by FeelingFunny 12/11/2014

written by FeelingFunny

Really good movie, very intense. You can watch the whole movie online. Seriously, please don’t watch it if your easily triggered by self destructive tendencies like self harming or are currently feeling suicidal. Also, I really hope you see the movies true message and that it might help you realize that suicide is not the answer.

12/11/2014 0 comment

A Word to the Weary

by TheBoyWithRedShoes 12/7/2014

written by TheBoyWithRedShoes

Everything has become so fucked up. I use to be so good at holding my emotions in check, tucking everything away in a forbidden portion of my psyche. That all ended tonight. I cried tonight like I have never cried before. And while it was a much needed release, it was bitter sweet.

Maybe it was the alcohol that triggered all of this. Maybe it was the insurmountable guilt that has compounded over the years. I honestly don’t know.

You see, I wish I hadn’t held these feelings in for so long. I wish I could turn back the unforgiving hands of time. I wish I told her […]

12/7/2014 1 comment

It’s getting closer to my time to go

by ihateeverything 10/2/2014

written by ihateeverything

So, this is my first time posting and I’ll try to keep it short. My life has actually been pretty normal but i still have overwhelming darkness that over takes me somtimes. It used to be triggered by big events but more and more it’s small and insignificant things that send me on a downward spiral. I’ve read posts on this site off and on for my two years or so and sometimes it gives me enough perspective to realize that my life probably isn’t as bad as it feels or as i perceive it to be. However, I still find myself contemplating ending it. […]

10/2/2014 3 comments

i think its time

by Infectious208 9/29/2014

written by Infectious208

well my best friend and his family just moved into my house. the house i was supposed to start a family in. i thought maybe it would help to be around them and stay for a month or 2 but it just triggered me even more. seeing him and his kids and wife just made me think more of what i have lost. i walked to a secluded place where there is a peaceful creek, im under a tree with a very gentle rain peeking through hitting me in the face every so often. ive got over 100 depehnhydramine and have had about a […]

9/29/2014 6 comments

Can anybody help me?

by rainbow123 5/31/2014

written by rainbow123

God, I don’t even know anymore. It started a couple of months ago and it was a song that triggered it.. I now seem to be a ***** to people now.. I get so angry over such little things such a someone not putting a lid on a pen.. I treat all my friends like shit, the ones that have been there for me for so long, the ones that know me inside out.. my best friends ): I push all my friends away and now I only hang out wiith people that use me for sex or whatnot.. I don’t know why because thdy […]

5/31/2014 8 comments

Triggered

by societykilledthecat_ 5/12/2013

written by societykilledthecat_

Two people I follow and comment regularly on IG to haveÂ attemptedÂ suicide today. OneÂ succeedÂ yesterday. I feel like a failure because when I tried, I failed. I really wish I hadnt. I have no one to talk to now because my boyfriend just left because he bought a stupid new game. Hes obviously upset about something right now… I dont know what. He wont tell me. But I kinda need him right now and he just got up and stopped talking to me because of his stupid game. Im selfish for saying that. He can never tell when I need him. Right now I need him. And […]

5/12/2013 0 comment