I know its a lie. why do i live it? at every moment of serenity i feel like now i have seen it and now i am gonna maintain it. but only end up in this same wretched state. I am full of confusion. I don’t believe in anything anymore. why? because i am aware of its opposite too…i am aware that opposite also exists and with same conviction. and since both exists, i believe in none. This life as i am living now, i never considered it my true state, my true nature. I always feel like i am living it “just out of […]
Tag:
True Nature
I have never loved or detested anything more intensely than the world I was born into.
You terribly-scary-albeit-painfully-beautiful little piece-of-precious-shit, you.
You are a *****, but you are my *****.
I chose a time, reality and a life.
I gave myself a checklist of things-to-learn-in-this-lifetime, but  I ripped it up before I could cross out even a decent number of them the moment I got here.  I fucked it up gloriously.Â
With my severely depressed, perpetually melancholic state of mind, I doubt if I can proceed any further.
It has reached a point where I can derive solace and safety only from my sorrow.
That, is not the true nature of my spirit.
I need […]
I act on stage. I’m not that great, and the productions are small & forgettable, but to me each performance means the world. I guess it’s because it’s one of the rare times I get to step out of my miserable existence and pretend I’m someone else. And the audience, however small, validates this “character” I’m pretending to be. After the show I hurry home and resume being my real wretched self, playing to an audience of 0.
I’m sick of it. Sick of living for just those few moments on stage when I’m pretending to be something else, then having to spend days alone with […]
the Suicide
Death dwells in the shadow just at your shoulder. You invited it in, you dined with it, you bathed with it, you lay with death.
Consumed by and consuming, death becomes both a path and a destination for you.
You write a final letter, a final note, and gulp down a bottle of pills, hoping it will all be over soon…
And then…
You wait…
But not long for as you soon take you final step…
You call for help.
But wait, this makes no sense?
Why would you wish for death, plan for death, and attempt to kill yourself only to give up and try to save yourself in […]
I was taught to believe you exist and you are the creator of all things.
Through my own thought and reasoning I do believe you exist and I do believe you created all things as everything is too intricate and complicated to have happened by chance.
But as you are the creator, the point of origin of all existence, I feel you have some explaining to do.
As God and creator even if you created the big bang and evolution, you are singularly responsible for all things. This means you are evil. This means you are good. As these did not exist otherwise. Yes evil is your creation. […]