Nobody gets it. I dont want help. I dont want to talk. I dont want drugs or therapy or company. I have tried all my life to want to live but I never have wanted it. I didnt ask for this life. I dont want to feel better or try again or look on the bright side or give it time. What i want is to turn it all off.
Took one pill the night before to calm my nerves. Guess it was a bad one, made me vomit all day long. I couldn’t stomache anything, let alone my 16 pills. Try again this Sunday I guess
Well that last attempt to upload was so full of crazy it wouldn’t load.
Well try again. Welcome to Club HDS. No cookies or snacks this time, the month doesn’t end in B.
Thank you Phantom. I feel like I got the last bit of crazy out tonight.
Hello, I’m Ruana. Just felt I should at least give that for a short introduction since I’m a new ‘un. Hello, I hope to learn something about myself, help others (my greatest hope for however long I stay), and perhaps get a little better myself. A week or two ago I started crying when I texted a friend of mine, “I’ll get better, okay?” I want to add that I felt my words weren’t good enough to be here or right enough or something enough, but well, here I am. Nice to meet you.
Now to the topic of my title, or well the more intriguing […]
My plan is kinda going to shit was meant to get more meds today and they didn’t put what I wanted in the bag maybe it was a mistake or maybe there on to my plan but it has pissed me off tho I feel much better knowing I have a method in place and when iv had enough I could try again but they are fucking with my plan here
I’m not to sure why I’m still hanging around to be honest maybe I need to find the courage to try again and plan properly this time ? Isit our destiny to die early I feel like iv lived two life times but I’m still young but I feel so old can people like us recover from being rock bottom depressed anxious suicidal and even attempted ? Or should we give up what r we really fighting for ? A 9 to 5 job is that living ? Do we live to work or work to live ? Why are we this way is there […]
I think that time is coming soon to try again iv had enough of being depressed battling to survive everyday simple life situations seem so differcult to handle watching the world move on wile I’m suck watching everyone building their lives and mine falling apart what kind of life is this struggling and suffering everyday If there is a god why dose he make us suffer so much and push me to the edge were I want to end it all I don’t I don’t understand I’m not sure how long I can stand on this edge without jumping
I guess I’m just trying to wind up the courage to try again had enough of this bull shit anyways being depressed anxious ain’t left the house in days struggle to get out of bed this isn’t life for a 26 year old I would rather be dead I no people have worst lives then I do but iv just mad a mess of things that can’t be fixed and the loneliness is to much to bare anymore hope I get the courage soon
What makes me really suicidal and want to give up is that fact that I have sooo many issues. If I just had one or two then they would be manageable but there is so many battles that must be won, only to have another one appear and I have to try again.
I dont think Im that strong, if I could win them I gladly would, I dont have the capacity and looking at life realistically tells me that I never will.
How can I overcome my social phobia, my addictive behavior, my fear of success and performance issues, my inferiority complex, my bad memory, my […]
I tried the other night and failed miserably.
My heart beats so fast now, everything feels numb and I’m completely zoned out.
I just lay here staring at the ceiling. I’m scared. Maybe I’ll try again.
Things get better, they dont and they will never get better. Looking on the bright side of things only works for a little while. My life has been hell ever since I was 10, when I first started to get depression because of my shy nature and as a result got bullied. Now I tried to tell my parents but they didnt care. Finally found a sollution a few years ago when I first attepted suicide by hanging myself. It didnt work and ended up in a hospital because of it. Now I tried to live it out but no things got worse so now […]
Not much to say other than I’ve totally lost it. I can do something about this, I could try again but I’ll only hurt people more. Tell no one and just go. Was I getting better? Probably. No it’s all gone to shit. Just want to curl up and shy away from everyone and everything. Nothing constructive from this just sadness.
Hello again i am very new here shy also i wanted a change my name i only posted recently didnt say much but i have been reading posts for few months now i am depressed i went to see a pyicitrist but he really didnt help me i will try again and hope to get some meds i have not been diagnosed with the two i kno i do have anxity and depeession i really hoped when i took that step and shared things with him hed give me some meds and i got nothing ill try again someone else all i can do hello […]
I recently ended up moving in with my dad who hasn’t been in my life for 7 years because my mother kicked me out after I attempted suicide in July. She likes to believe that my entire depression that I’ve had for 3 years has been fake. Being with my dad is definitely better than being with my mother… except I feel like I’ve screwed up his life now. He isn’t used to living with his kids and isn’t used to spending money on anyone but himself so I get in a lot of crap for being expensive. I think about trying again everyday. But […]
Fuck. Shitshitshit,
i relapsed again.
i can’t hear “YOU have to make things better” or “don’t expect everything to be handed to you on a silver plate” because fuck you. I know that.
I think I’m gonna try again tonight. Who knows? Maybe it’ll work?
Last night I tried to finish off my life. I’ve always thought about it and the other day I finally made a plan. I left my place and started walking. I began cutting pretty much right away and as I turned down a dark alley is when I took the first Vicodin. I felt it and didn’t like the feeling. I continued walking and cutting and I just started panicking . I finally broke and called my friend. She was going to let me go and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I managed to drag myself back to meet up with them. They […]
I talked to him about the lack of communication between us; and it took a bit of getting through his stubbornness and thick head, buut, he understood eventually. We’re alright, which is good, he keeps me going. I may not try again after all.
i tried and failed I guess I didn’t have enough ********. I got to see my daughters for 45 min they hugged me non stop and told me they loved me so much.
I will try again tonight and every night till I get this right I don’t want to hurt anymore and I don’t want my kids to cry anymore. I pray that God will take me and save someone else, it just needs to end. Why can’t God see I am done he is suppose to have mercy, maybe I am so worthless even God himself doesn’t want me!
I have been trying to walk up to the fact that i need to be hospitalized for awhile……i’ve even parked in front of huntsville hospital and walked half way in before turning around…..about to try again tonight
There’s something inside of me, I’m considered a dead man. I’m alive now, but i’ll try, again and again, and again. Because I can not stop. I’ve been completely consumed by this. I hate, everything. I’ve learned to hate myself, and now I can’t take that back. I ruined my life, numerous times, and I’ll continue to do so. It’s as if I no longer control my body. I’ll try again. Till I am no more. Considering that, I’m already dead. It hasn’t happened yet, and it’ll happen again.
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