I feel hopeless. I’m failing school, all my friends have turned on me and call me a liar. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I do nothing but cry all the time. I thought I was getting better but it came back. It always comes back; this hell. It gets in your head and makes you unable to cope. I started to self mutilate again, something I promised myself I would never do again. I was clean for months, since October. I know it’s getting really bad because I’m contemplating suicide again. I have it planned out, exactly what I would do and that scares […]
Tag:
unable to cope
I was physically abused by my brother until I was 16 and left home. I admitted it to my parents, with whom I have always been very close with 3 years ago.
They claim to believe me. The claim to back me up. But after my last suicide attempt, after 3 days in 4 points in the ICU, when sent to the psych ward..they promised me certain things.
You see I uprooted my entire life on the West Coast to move back to the Midwest and help care for my sick father. He’s very young, only 65. But has a host of degenerative diseases. I went from […]
All I wanted was to be normal, to have a happy and peaceful life, to love and be loved. That’s all I ask for. Apparently that’s just too much.
After 31 years, my life hasn’t gotten any better–in fact, it’s gotten multitudes worse. I’m even more messed up, completely broken on the inside and unable to cope with life.
Is life a cruel joke? It probably is.
Is life unfair? Oh it most certainly is. And I definitely got the short end of the stick.
Will I ever feel fine? Will I ever be able be at ease and enjoy life?  At this moment, I feel hopeless, in despair. […]