I had to write an essay for one of my teachers and I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote about my suicide thoughts and my scars. And so now my whole family knows and they are giving me all of the attention, and now I have to go to a therapist. I hate all of the attention, and I hate that now I have a therapist. I hate talking about how I’m feeling to someone face to face. That’s why I talk here, I can talk to all of you and you won’t know who I am what I look like, and […]
Tag:
unfair
So, I’ve mostly been coming here, just to make jokes and poke fun. Truth is, I’m losing. I have a taste of fun here, that’s all.
Fuck. Trying to think of what to say….
Wake up every day, hoping today’s the day. Hasn’t been yet.
I set my date or whatever, but, fuck plans and schedules.
I’m not concerned with being considerate in my death. Fuck em.
Always a reason. Always a hope. Always a dream.
So , when it’s time, it’s time. Probably won’t say goodbye. Not going to make a big deal. Guess it’s unfair to those here I click with. I’m […]
I just saw Batman v Superman for the 2nd time and i have to say i have a much higher opinion of it than when I saw it the first time. The more I think about the more i realize how connected to this movie i am. I understand what its like to not be perfect and lambasted for it. I get what its like not to be accepted for what you are. For people to not see how good you are despite your flaws. I understand what its like tl be pre classified based upon criteria you can’t control because you are grouped in […]
Since 2003 when I was 16 years old I’ve been wanting to die. I prayed for death to bring me peace almost every day since 2003.
I wanted…… no, I BEGGED for death to come to me, but death has been avoiding my call all these years. The reason why I want to die is because my health, both physical and psychological are fu*ked up beyond repair, and on top of it all I never had a single friend nor a girlfriend in my entire 28 years of existing.
Now comes the unfair part, and this really pissed me off when I found out about it.
There […]
Okay, so maybe this is a bit unfair of me to ask at this moment in time…..as I haven’t never posted till tonight. BUT:
Have any of you ever really felt numb? I thought I had and I had to some rearguards….however tonight and as of this week, I realize something more.
And pls forgive me ahead of time, I have been drinking, but this is something I have found this past week…and I am sitting here…still waiting for my CHURRO!!! As if anyone can hear me, while the band is playing loud and I have turned down several offers of dances….I should probably take someone up […]
Life is depressing
Life is frustrating
Life is a lot of effort
Life is painful
Life is a lot of bills
…and never enough money
Life is one struggle after another after another
Life is full of bad people, greedy people, and people who will stab you in the back
Life is full of racists, bigots and sexists
Life is full of corruption
Life is unjust and unfair
Life is trying so hard and still getting nowhere
Life is cruel to those born in poverty, living in poverty, born with disabilities or those living with disabilities
Life is not a life when you have no energy to do anything
Life is not happy for god knows how many people
Still feeling sick. Sick like slow, tired, dizzy, nauseous… This awful headache. No appetite. Intense amounts of sleep. Going through benzo withdrawal as an unintended side effect of overdosing and the hospital prescribed hydroxyzine to help with anxiety and withdrawal symptoms. The hydroxyzine makes me tired and blank cognitively but I kind of like it because it’s better than being alone with my thoughts.
I haven’t told my family anything. We are the type of family where this sort of thing is swept under the rug and considered a weakness. I had my friend check me out of the hospital which I know was […]
I was too stupid to trust a friend with my suicidal thoughts.
I told her how I want to die.
She told me about people dying wanting to live.
I told her: ‘Life is unfair, people can’t really have what they really want. I want to die but still living, they want to live but they are dying. I don’t see your point. Should I feel blessed for having something others want when I, myself, does not want it?’
Her answer? Ask another mutual friend.
They talked to me about solutions, alternatives, reasons and logic, of all things.
This is not a call for help. This is […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Hey, you guys.
I’m feeling extra gloomy today, and this is the ony place I could think of.
I really wish I was dead already, and I wish I were stronger to just do it. I just can’t take it anymore, I’m at that point where you’ve lost absolutely all hope.
I think the only thing stopping me right now is the unbearable feeling that I will absolutely crush my folks’ heart forever. I realize how unfair it’d be to kill myself when they have done nothing but love me and support me all along. But tell me then, what am i suppose to do when they’re gone […]
Dear love, I’m honestly scared. Your voice is everywhere. Are you there? I am not ready for this. There’s so much about you, love, I miss. Do you know that I’m lost? And you left me here on my own. Songs live on but I’m dancing alone. Where is my lullaby? Sometimes I forget you’re gone. You’re all I have, known for so long.
It seems so unfair but the sun still shines and the waves still crash and the wind still blows. I will carry on, what choice do I have?
just saw a christmas countdown on the news.37 days til christmas.where the fuck did the time go?
now i’m all anxious since i haven’t found a job, been unemployed for almost a year.and it’s crushing me since i promised myself that i would make our family’s 2014 holiday celebrations grand.i’ll fund it, make my parents happy and proud,be the best eldest sis giving presents to my siblings.give grown-up gifts to my relatives as a sign of gratitude.bake a lovely cake, impress my bf and his family.
shit, i’m not going to be able to do any of that.none of that.i’m a fucking disgrace, a loser.it’s making […]
This time it was a boxer.
He was enormous , an unfair death, like always.
I just started to love on him, became attached.
But all good things die.
This is life.
No one knows, or cares to understand…. But this is me…. A girl lost in her own thoughts. The only person that ever loved me died a couple of years ago, he was like a father to me. Now, no to sound cliche but I have nobody. No friends, no family…. None who care enough to ask, ” hey girl, are you ok”
A simple hug or a few words of encouragement will go along way but that never happens…. I often think of killing my self. I wonder what what life would be without me. Some days i find it so hard to get out […]
I dont know if i should end my life because their happy moments but sad moments in my life. Sad moments for me is when i get bad grades and school is so stressful or the times I hate my parents for doing unfair things. For happy moment is going to the movies with mom because thats the time where we actually bond and laugh and I love those precious moments.
I find it grossly unfair that if I had a terminal illness I would be discussing its ramifications with my daughter and preparing her for my demise. But because I intend to depart by my own hand, I have to stay silent and she’ll have to endure the shock and the potential lifetime effects of not only my death, but having no preparation for it. All of the questions she’ll have later I would gladly answer now, but that’s against the rules.
Do you know this girl we love,
With all our heart and care.
It’s really not her problem,
I tell you, this is so unfair.
The numbers are quite shocking,
One in four they say
Will suffer from depression
In their lives one day.
There’s not much life in this girl anymore
Because of this serious mental flaw.
But no one knows when it will strike,
It’s just the luck of the draw.
She would not choose to live with it,
Sometimes not even try.
I see this little girl suffering
And all she can do is cry.
Some people turn the other cheek,
They’ve been doing it for […]
the raven colored hair
falls upon her smooth face
the once warm and inviting eyes
are now shedding tears
dripping dropping ever so quickly
pittering pattering in her lap
as she curls up in a ball
wanting so badly to die and go
she opens up her mouth
and sighs ever so silently
she goes to speak to tell the world
but the room is dark and silent
will anyone hear her silent pleas
alas they will not because
she will mask them and hide them
hides her tears from the world
puts on a fake smile to mask her frown
looks down when passing […]
Life is so unfair. Life is always giving me hard time even though i can handle it, but i’ m getting weaker, slowly i’m givingup. Each morning, I always tell to myself, why i am still alive. Is God still loves me?.. Why I’m still waking up every morning and still breathing?.. What will I do? I cant kill myself because i dont want to hurt my love ones especially that i have my first boyfriend. i dont want him to be like lea michele because of cory monteith. i want to be happy. i want to feel that i am loved by the people […]
Seriously. There are probably people crying as hard as me right now, because they are sick and they’re going to die and they want to stay alive and healthy. And im here crying because I’m forced to be alive and I wanna die. I could say its unfair but I stopped hoping things to get fair in life anyway! Â I just can’t stand it anymore.
Newer Posts