I get how life has its ups and downs… But it seems like history always repeats it self: someting bad happins, i cut, i progressivly get over it, something bad hapins…. it actually been going on like this since i first started cutting when i was in the sixth gradee.. (i actually discoverd it by myself, i was so hurt from the bullying and i didnt know what to do so i cut with a pare of sciccors.) im in the ninth grade now and i dont want to go into a high school cutting.. i dont know how to end all of this bull […]
Tag:
Ups And Downs
At least that is my life. Ups and Downs, however the “ups” are smaller and the “downs” are getting larger. Work, no money, illness, family and tons more. I’m tired and need a really long break. Since I own nothing, the break will be permanent
that would be so nice, i’m just so tired of being bored and stressed, i have friends and stuff i just don’t like the ups and downs of living. i’m actually thinking about doing it, i’m not religious, so im not worried about hell or anything, i just really hope its like sleeping forever.that would be so nice
I am so sick of the ups and downs…. Make a plan to kill my self … Pray for a reson why not Tooo….. Gets the reson…work harder to better life ….Turn happy ….think about it deeply on accident …. But keep trying to be happy….minds starts to collapse in thougths…. Start to cry….. Work harder to keep my self from thinking… Began to fail at any activity at hand…. Decides to take a nap…..can’t sleep….stuck in thougth… Crys my self to masturbation… Hard to mesturbate…..fall to sleep in frustration…… Restart for the next day and repeat
How worthless someone can you make you feel. How you confess your undying love for them and they take advantage of that. How can someone do that? Someone you thought could never ever ever hurt you. Truth is, life is full of ups and downs, with dissapointments, the only thing that matters is how exactly you take that infromation and apply it to your everyday life.
I have been with my boyfriend for a year now (someone who I should not be with due to a bad influence: Weed, drugs, alcohol), recently he had gotten into an accident (DWI)Â I told him I loved him as soon […]
I have been lurking on this sight for a while. I thought I would post my story. Until about 15 years ago, I had a good life. I had friends, normal ups and downs. I was able to cope with what life handed to me.  I got married and had a very difficult time having a child. It worked out in the end, but husband was abusive, etc. I was lonely. I tried to connect wi other Moms. ±Gradually over time, I ended up with just aquantences  or “group” friends (people invite me to events and parties, but not one on one. It was very […]
I’m 50, small business owner, two children, one who has graduated and one who is a sophomore. I’ve been married for 30 years and have been my own boss for over twenty.
I’ve had many had many ups and downs over the years, but the writing is on the wall, technology has made my business obsolete. I feel that I’m too old to start over again….. started this a couple of days ago, feel better today, not as suicidal as I was, but it crosses my mind all of the time. One thing I’ve noticed lately, the more I surf online, the more hopeless I feel, […]
Of course, I want to like Trevor. But there’s always something in the back of my mind that says I shouldn’t. Oh well. Said voice can find a new hobby. I mean, I’ve realized that Trevor is pretty awesome. But if he doesn’t like me, then good for him. I’m not saying that I’ll be completely mad and thinking that I’m better than him, ’cause I’m not. All humans are equal, except in their acts. I mean, you can’t say that you’re equal to Hitler in acts unless you did the same things he did. But Trevor hasn’t done anything bad that I know of, […]
I have been holding on for too long and I am slipping. I have no one up top to reach down and grab me, pull me up; and I have no one to catch me when I fall. I was once on the edge now I am dangling and ready to fall. I thought I could handle the weight of the world, fight on towards my future until the day I die. But I can’t. The world is depressing even-though there is so much fun around. I am so heart-broken even though I have friends, family, and a boyfriend who love me dearly. You may […]
Struggling to stay in this world, like flames on the inside because all i hear is some things that are the opposite of pleasant, everyday i go to school i feel like police cars are having their sirens on, flashlights falshing at me, people staring at me, like it is such a crime that i am even alive, staying in the world is like crushing a can, becuase crushing a can gets hard when you try to keep it straight……….., in the palms of my fingers i feel thumping, like *thump* *thump* *thump*, on the outside you see a smile…, but do you see the […]
I have been dealing with depression for 8 painful years, and have had a self mutilation additction for seven of those eight. I have my ups and downs, but lately I feel like my depression has taken a turn for the worst. I have always felt it mentally and emotionally, but the physical symptoms of depression were always minor. That is… until recently. I couldn’t tell you what triggered my depression this time around. I haven’t the slightest clue. Maybe I’m lonely. Maybe I’m scared. Maybe I feel lost because my youth is very quickly leaving me.
I can’t eat. Every time I even look at food I’m […]
Too Broken
Too broken to be in this world again
A doll smashed into a million pieces of porcelain
They knew me before
They see glimpses today
They think I’m back
But I’m too broken
I’ve become one with death
Held his hand
Dreamt of his embrace
Blazing out all the pain
He let me close my eyes
To it forevermore
He let me Know it’s okay
I’m too broken now
I’ve felt death’s kiss
Tasted eternity on his lips
How can I come back now
To this world
When my broken heart wants rest?
Light shines in my window today
I can see it for the first time in weeks
Scabs curve over my open wounds
They threaten to heal my flesh
Music and voices and faces I […]
i let everyone down everyday. i feel like i always say i live only to keep the people around me happy but everyone says i have to do things for myself. ive gotten caught up in drugs and i feel like a complete failure. everyone says i need to quit for myself but i dont know how. they wont let me quit unless it is just for me. i got into a fight with my parents the other night and i broke down then came to my other house to get away. i cant help but feel guilty for the pain i put people through […]
You know, I’m married to a wonderful man.
But all good people have a limit too. They will shut down also if they are constantly bombarded with negativity, bad bosses, bad coworkers, shitty clients, shitty company policy, problems in the home, depressed & suicidal wife….
I think him and my kids are the only reason I haven’t done anything. That and how outsiders will view them if I did anything to bring them down. They can not experience what I have in my past. Not them. Please not them.
But when I’m alone, I want it all to end.
I’m tired of being sick. Physically and mentally tired of being sick. Some […]
Well, There was a boy and a girl, they’ve met once before about 6 years ago now, I believe, anyway they had lost contacted until last year when their friends had  told them about each other. Now, they started talking , and talking they both knew what they have been through and they both knew how they felt, if one was not happy the other one wasn’t well it toke a few months until they started dating, but when they dated, man were they cute, they did have there ups and downs but they go through it, until he had to move, his dad had died and his grandparents so he had to move somewhere far, they didn’t see each […]
All the ups and downs I keep going through is exhausting…
I am heading that direction again because I just want it all to be done and over with.
Do I really have to live like this for the rest of my life?
I HATE THIS LIFE!!!!!
staying positive is getting harder and harder.
I am not normal anymore, I am half a person and people will look at me like I am half a person.
I’m tired. Really tired.
How many years has it been… how many more years will it be?
You all have no idea what you have until you loose it!
I have to live with this. There will be […]
Don’t know what the hell I be on about, But from here and there, I belong nowhere….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I don’t want to come back. Chat room is mentally destroying me.. And I don’t even come here much anymore. The Suicide Project is dying out.. And me? Well, I was just one of the many members. If you have taken the time to read this, Thank you. You are probably one of the very few left trying to keep the Suicide Project torch burning. Good luck… People need this place.
But me? Well, People always say.. There is no such thing as a happy ending. I guess this is the end of my story.. :'( It’s been Interesting though, I guess. Met some amazing people..
Orangish, For one. […]
Oh my lovely alcohol, oh how you do please me
Fill my heart with sadness, and electrifying glee.
A sweet yet bitter liquid, that seeps into my veins
You dull my mind, you free my spirit, and take away the chains.
Sloshing in your frigid flask, you ask and tease for more
With jest and greed I indulge thee, and pass out on the floor.
No memory of prior things, convulsing laughs and tears
Ups and downs, a roller-coaster, yearning for more beer.
Dancing jigs to country music, strange and quite erratic
Thank god nobody’s watching, it must be quite traumatic.
Spread out on the cold concrete, bottle in one […]
Hello, my name is Shawna and I’m new here, I just found this website today while looking for some sort of support group. I’ve had been dealing with the effects of depression for around 4 years now, almost 5. Somehow I’ve fought through it that long, but not without having extreme ups and downs, mostly downs. It’s been so long and I’m feeling so tired. I’m a recovering self-harmer, been clean for about 4 months. But I’m having a really really hard time with the urges. I’ve been feeling so sad the past few days, so so sad and angry and just sick and tired […]
Life…
This four letter word that we are still wondering, debating, and living each day. As easy it was given, it can be extinguished. Life is always compared to some sort of object, for example, something as simple as a box of chocolates ‘you never know what you’re going to get’. Or even something as exhilarating as a roller coaster, it has its ‘ups and downs’. i believe that the reason why we come up with such simple analogies is because nearly everyone has experienced something as simplistic as that. But what about something more complex?
For instance, a car crashing and burning. One moment, you’re sailing […]
Newer Posts