It was never about some great tragedy that befell me, making me lose the will to live. Although I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth I have not lived through any great traumas. My mother was diagnosed with depression when I was very young, and although that was not easy by any stretch of the imagination, my parents somehow managed to raise me in a fairly stable home, where I was allowed to express myself and become a somewhat strong individual. In all fairness, the bloodline of my mother does have a history of mental problems, but apart from some underlying […]
Tag:
Vastness
It’s petrifying how little from the world truly exists: only the now.
Such a narrow flickering glimpse.
The past is memory. The future is simulation. And they are both occurring in the now, the recalling of the memory, the playing of the simulation. Aren’t they?
But the mind refuses to admit it. The mind finds this microscopic now terribly boring. How can you compare this skimpy moment to the vastness of the past and the future? it asks.
I wonder, do you feel cold. I do.
I wonder, are you behind a glass wall in a crowd. I am.
My life feels like a grain of salt in the sand.
In a soundproof glass box.
They can’t hear me.
I feel as a bit of smear in the vastness.
Don’t touch me.
Don’t stand close to.
Don’t talk to me.
Life is better in a book.
Darkness is heavenly.
So I don’t sleep at night.
Daylight, too many people.
I need to hide.
I am alone in my self imposed lonely room