he wakes up after an hour of sleep to the screams of something else he didnt do he cant sleep at night because memories are so fresh in his mind of a life destroyed by abandonment and drugs but the drugs are a crutch now without them you feel worse more hopeless then before and it seems like suicide is a viable option..maybe it is..everyone you talk to thinks you want attention because they are to blind or to stupid to see the pain really felt..he feels lost in the world and he has given up hope
Tag:
Viable Option
For as long as I can remember, I’ve found myself unable to care or put forth effort for anything. I don’t pursue friendly or romantic relationships, and I don’t have any work ethic for academics or finding any sort of job. I’m a quick learner, so I’ve mostly been able to coast through high school on tests alone, though I’m currently at severe risk of needing to repeat my senior year next year. Due to my lackluster academic record and the fact that my family is barely above the poverty line, I have no prospects for college whatsoever.
The thought of suicide crosses my mind every […]
I’m thirty years old, and I’ve done nothing with my life. I have no job. I have no friends, and I’m failing in school again. I can’t take these cycles any longer. I do well for a couple years. I make friends, hold a job, and do well in school. Then the depression comes back. I push my friends away, lose my job, and fail in school. I’ve gotten help in the past, but that only left me tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I need ECT again, but I don’t have insurance or any […]
I felt suicidal as a teenager, 20 years ago, and never thought it would happen again. I’m a trained mental health worker, I know the signs, I know who I am supposed to call, what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t see the point. Up until May this year I thought suicide was a sad act, and now, I think it is a viable option. Infact, I’ve come up with my own therapy, I have a plan. On the 26th of September 2014 I am allowed to take my own life. Four months before this date, decision making goes in to lock down- as in- […]
So after much (or not) thought, I’ve decided to just go through with it. I’m going to eat my 50 monkshood seeds and see where I go. It seems this is the only viable option now. It’s either that or the 350 nightshade seeds, but Erowid turned me off from the nightshade since it seems to trip you up instead of actually killing you. I’m shaking with fear at the thought of the pain to be honest. All accounts I’ve read from poison plants have been extremely painful, so I’m worried that I might end up screaming, which might alert my neighbours, so I’ma do […]