I feel so empty
No, thats a lie
My thoughts fill me
spilling from my mind
Is everything a lie
Will I ever get the truth
Wasting away my time
Trying to help you
Im the one to blame
I saw it flash before my eyes
Visions of this happening
Before it came in time
Please just take my life!
I need to dissapear!
Im not comfortable in my own skin
I need to get out of here…
Watch as the bloods spills
Razorblades been stained
Take some more pills
Quiet the pain
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down. They’re changing my future.
Visions I had buried underground. Returning to abuse us.
This is my story from the start http://suicideproject.org/2013/07/my-story-161/ please reaad that first before continuing down so you will understand the bits that i’ve missed out.
So you have read the beginnings and the main depth of what happened in my child/teen life. Heres some that i have missed out like my eating disorder , suicide attempt and the visions and self harm.
Im going to start off with the visions i get when i have anxiety attacks or panic attacks i haven’t told anyone what i hear, see or feeling during these episodes. Not even my psychiatrist. Well i get flash backs of the that night i got […]
He broke me down and got into my core, the capital of my heart. He happily resided in the blood of my soul, or so I thought. Unknowingly he was living in someone elses heart much more happily resided in theirs rather than mine. Caressed my mind with sweet nothings and empty words that should’ve been full of emotion. Worked into my brain and blindsided me from the signs. From the facts. I thought maybe somebody could be content and liberated with just me and no one else. Told me his fears and goals. Broke into tears full of heartbreak and confusion .. all for […]
So I’ve been dealing with depression for awhile, and it’s been in different forms each time if that makes sense? Like meaning the way I see myself and others around me. Beginning in highschool and through it I had a rough time dealing with others, by my junior year I was into death metal and planning on getting a gun to kill everyone in school. Even now I’m not as shaken by that statement as I should be and that’s what lead me to my next part of depression. By my second year of college I was alone, sure I had family and friends who would see me, sometimes […]
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
I hate my brain. I just thought you should know if your brain is telling you that you should kill yourself, you’re not alone. If your brain is trying to  give you images and visions of how great it would feel to tighten that rope around your neck and you know that its wrong, you are not alone. They’re really seductive right? These thoughts are the true “siren’s call”; a call for eternal peace and an escape from pain. I’m lucky though. I have a thought that I’ve trained myself to repeat. It is this, “Today is a test. Tomorrow might be a test too. But it […]
IÂ sit there in the cafeteria
He sits on the floor he’s talking i cant hear him, my visions bluring black around the edges
I’m brought back because of an intense pain from my hand, my ex boyfriend yet again had bit me, i know he just flirting… that he’s only using me..
I smile laughing telling him it doesnt hurt, he doesnt realise he saved me from another embaressing seizure, he smiles biting my harder i ignore it typing on the computer with my left hand as i try to complete a school project. He lets go and we sit their for a while. I feel him bite […]
It’s true. And it’s the reason for my suicide. These feelings of hopelessness stem from being an imperfect human being. I have a poor memory, make lots of mistakes – but worst of all, I’m ugly. I am so unattractive. I look in the mirror and fall apart crying, I get violent visions of mutilating my body, hacking it to pieces until I disintergrate. Until I’m nothing anymore. Unrecognisable. Until I die from bloodloss, hopefully, and everybody can forget I ever existed. That’s all I want – to not exist, to never have existed. I wish I had never existed.
I go to bed and pray […]
I am not a religious man but, I struggle with Anxiety, Depression, and many other mental illnesses that make me feel different and inferior. Depression makes me feel empty and no one can make me happy. I think about suicide all the time, I have suicidal visions and plans but never carry them out. Before I go to bed at night I think about how to commit suicide. I think about talking to my therapist for one last time and ending it in her office so I can see her and she will care for me while I fade away. I am too scared to […]
this is to all who are considering suicide…please don’t do it, there is so much help for you out there and you can feel happy. my mom had attempted to commit suicide about 5 months ago and i still cannot sleep alone, i have visions at night, and my anxiety is through the roof. something like this cannot be forgotten, your family and friends will be forever scarred, and so will you. i know you may be struggling to the extreme right now but there is so much hope, soo much. please don’t do it, please. <3
According to my great grandmother i am an Old Soul. My spirit has been here a long time. I have a very strong connection to the spirit world. I see things that no one would ever want to see. Knock it if you want, everyone else thinks i am crazyu anyways. I can see spirits, and not only people i know. I have seen ghostly deaths countless times, i have seen the wraths tear people in half. No one ele can see them, no one i know. I can’t sleep, i haven’t slept for three days now. This will continue until i pass out and […]
We are children of constant sorrow living in a fallen world, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the
rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high place.
“As I walk this land of broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But happiness is just an illusion
filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of a brokenhearted
who had love that’s now departed
I know I’ve got to find
some kind of piece of mine, baa-aaaaby
The roots of love grow all around
But for me they come tumble all down
Every day,heartaches grow a little […]
Every time I fail at something I have images pop into my mind of me putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger. It’s gotten to the point to where I also see these images every time I think of things I’ll never have or things I should have done differently in the past. These visions are slowly making the idea of ending my life more and more do-able. More and more realistic…
You can call me Robert for now, even though that’s not my true name. You’ll never know my actual name, unfortunately, because I won’t be around to tell it to you. Obviously, i plan to kill myself, but you would be mistaken if you thought that i was sad right now. As a matter of fact,this is the first time that I’ve felt happy in years! Finally, finally, I have found a way to end myself; to put a stop to the horrible thing that is my mind.
Over the years, I have been plagued with psychopathy. I couldn’t even walk down the fucking street without […]
Okay, so, I’ve been diagnosed with depression for just over four years now, and frankly I’m getting a bit tired of it all. My friends simply do not have the capacity to understand. I, an eighteen year old girl, cannot stand my own reflection. I have created this smiling persona, which serves its purpose of falsely leading the people around me to believe that I am ‘okay’, who is able to get all A’s at A Levels, but actually, I couldn’t give a shit. But maybe that’s the fluoxetine speaking? A few grades can’t make me want to live any more than the monotonous personalities […]
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