Every opportunity I had I wasted, every decision I made was the wrong one. Every time I ask myself how I wound up where I am, the answer is always the same: Step by step. It was my own choices that brought me here, and my next choices, whatever they are, will get me out of here. That’s the killer… what I do next is decisive. I either choose not to wait, and abandon hope, or choose to wait, and maintain it. Then I ask… why? Why suffer? Just so I can make money that goes out as quickly as it comes in? To pay […]
Fuck this world ! Fuck its creator! Fuck this reality !! None of us asked to be here !! We only die when we have something to live for but you can go all ur life jus wanting the peace of death nd will never get it !!! So fuck this world cant wait for it to blow up!!! #wherethefuckisarmageden
I think I’ve finally decided suicide is the only option for me. It used to be one of a few, but those seem to have disappeared. I just can’t take it anymore. I am exhausted and at my threshold of pain and bullshit. I’d do it tomorrow if I had enough pills. I will have to wait for a refill. Time to plan and get things in order.
Everything is my fault it seems , I can’t be happy for more than a two hours , I’m giving up , I push everyone away so they won’t get hurt when I’m gone , and maybe by making people hate me it won’t be so hard . I’m giving up and I’m counting down the days . I can’t wait to be free from everything I can’t wait to be somewhere where I can be happy . I have given up and I have set my mind . I hope I can help others I hope one day people won’t be so sad that […]
It’s been a little over two years now since she left, I know I should be happy that she isn’t in pain anymore but when I think of her and everything we had I can’t help but cry.
Its been two years since my whole world was ruined by the girl who I had known for so many years, my best friend, my rock. I could have helped her, I could have answered her phone call but I just didn’t, I didn’t pick up the phone when I should have.
I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up, im so sorry I wasn’t able to help, oh why, […]
i’m hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hfghddghnbvdghgbxfgdhb hehe my name is in the word sushi see suishi <— yay SUIshi -3- I LIKE TO EAT CHEESEBURGERS AND COOKIES… COOKIES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FOR FOOD GGGHGTEDFGHNJFYJFHBNGFTJTFJTRJYGFHDNDGNDG (I’m going to be so regretting this in the morning like a bad hangover XD) DON’T STOP ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW I’M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME I’M HAVING A BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DON’T STOP ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW IF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WANNA HAVE A GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD TIME JUST GIVE MERHHHHHHH A CALLLLLLLLLLLLLL…. wait no don’t call me I didn’t give you my number O-O if you do call… HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?!?!?!?!? O-O OMG I’M NOT GOING […]
So maybe I am a loser. Maybe I am a fat disgusting thing. You think I don’t know that? You think I haven’t planned for the best course of action? You think that I haven’t realized that all the “breaks” I get are just illusions or plain dumb luck?
I know what’s in store for me, so don’t feel like you have to remind me. I’m on my way. Just wait. I’ll be there eventually.
Aloha! Learned the lead for this song since it was already on rocksmith. Saved like 3 hours of transposing and learning by ear.. But anyways, this is for you Attempted Suicide!!!!!! Any more requests, just comment please! Also, if you like penguins, comment below!
I’m so sick of being away from home for college. I used to hate being home but now I miss it more than anything. I’m sitting at my bedroom door listening to my roommates openly talk shit about me. This is why I have insecurity issues and think people are talking about me whenever I leave the room, because they are.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
During the week I work, I workout, I’m busy doing stuff. I have no time to let my mind interfere. The weekends are the worst. I get lonely and depressed. Yesterday I was such a mess. I feel like nothing satiates me. I loathe weekends. I do nothing except ponder why I exist and wait for each moment to pass so I can go to sleep. But today I feel better. Distractions are amazing. To not be able to think… It’s wonderful.
I can’t wait any longer, all I can think about is how useless I am, how I’ll never get good at drawing, how I’m a burden on my family and everyone I meet. I just can’t wait any longer, tonight I want to take my life. I’m not doing anything good staying here. I think I’m finally ready.
I’ve felt terrible all day, I’m not sure I can wait until summer. I only smiled twice today and I started drinking diet pop because I’m not afraid of getting cancer from aspartame anymore. My parents keep getting angry at me because I’m being “morose”. I’m just so fed up with this world and I want out now.
Why do I find my morality, my principels to be so important. Is it because it is who I am, my very essence or protecting my pride from becoming like those who disgust me. Why do I care about others if I believe everything has no purpose, that our constant struggle is meaningless? I guess one could say that reality is based off one’s perception making any belief a truth. Although the world is non-existent to me those around me seem to see it. Maybe I’ve been sitting in the dark too long, maybe if I left my eyes open long enough I could see […]
Tonight is the night. I told myself I’d wait a month… if I still desired closure by then, I’ll know I waited things out till I couldn’t anymore. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of getting lost in my suicidal thoughts and wishing one day they’d come true.
I’m finally letting go. I’ll finally be at peace. I’ll finally get to sleep through the night.
It’s quite empowering having what is needed floating around in my backpack, just waiting for the day it’s finally used.
I’ll give it till tonight to confirm my decision. I don’t know why I felt like posting here. […]
Wading through bureaucracy is sort of like having to sniff Satan’s armpit sweat through a really long straw. It’s unpleasant no matter what method you use, but hey, the rules and regulations say you HAVE to use a straw… and the straw has to be blue, and it has to come from one particular office which is only open on Tuesdays from 3:00 to 3:02 pm.
On a related note:
I got the Medicaid problem sorted out.
There was a computer error; someone hadn’t sent my information through all the right channels, and that’s why stuff wasn’t showing up as being approved.
But it’s fixed now.
I got […]
Does anyone know of any good chat rooms on the net where you can chat direct to people, rather than have to wait for replies as sometimes I could really use that instant chat. I’ve seen some pro-life sites for suicidal people but I don’t want the bible bashing types that just want to talk you out of doing it, not that I have made my final decision to do so yet, but still I don’t want to be influenced.
Also any places it would be possible to try to find people in my area as it would be nice to make a friend in person […]
It’s been a really shitty past couple of days.
I have realized that absolutely nothing makes me happy anymore.
I see and feel no point to anything that i do.
I hate going to class, i don’t care about my job.
I don’t have the ability to feel anything.
I don’t know why i haven’t left already.
I hate myself so much, i’m a bad person and I get bored of everything so easily which I’m sick of. I don’t like being around my family, or most adults because they look down on my, ignore me and they get so overwhelmed with just little things.
I was going to wait three more years so I could leave everything, but to be honest I don’t think I will be able to wait that long. I have been depressed for a long time and there is not way it’s getting better. I don’t really know what to do. I think I will cut myself when […]