This one’s pretty long, sorry if I bore anyone. I should preface by saying that I’ve been depressed for four years. I was formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder January of this year, but I knew long before. I’ve never had a true friend, anything even close to a relationship (been led on a few dozen times), and I feel alone constantly. Recently my diagnosis was changed to suggest the cause of my pain is ADD. I’m not sure if the doctors are right, but amphetamines are helping a bit lately. This is the story of the last eight months or so, from the first […]
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Waiting Room
I found out I was Pregnant about 4 months ago. I took two pregnancy tests and both came out positive , that night I started to Spot blood. Everyone Said it was normal, but My body was saying something else. I started having tummy pains and I couldn’t eat or drink anything with out me thinking it’s nasty. The next morning I was Bleeding a Little more so my opinion was that since this is my First pregnancy that my body wasn’t used to me not having my period so I didn’t think bad thoughts. Well now my Stomach is in complete pain and now […]
There’s a new girl who is in the waiting room at my psychiatrist’s office. She sits and waits while I sit and wait. She must be seeing someone else in the building at the same time as my appointment. She is pretty. She has more exposed cuts than anyone else I have seen. They look like they were put there deliberately. Most are completely healed. I want to say hi to her. I want to ask if she will be my friend. She looks sad and I feel crazy. Would it be wrong to ask […]
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]
As my username suggests, this story is from a few years back, but I think that it’s worth sharing. And yes, this is lengthy, but I’m very sure that it’s worth the read.
This was probably the worst I had felt in weeks, life just wasn’t working out for me. I was stressed under mountains of homework, stuck singing in a choir that I hated that controlled my life and I had no social life. I didn’t know how to deal or cope with stress at all. A week prior to that day, I kept writing in this one notebook:
“Tell somebody, tell somebody”
It was the last […]