Everyday I wake up, hoping, today is going to show me something to live for. I feel like it’s groundhog day. Heh. Tuesday, after Tuesday, after Tuesday. Everyday, I wake up with hope, it’s the only thing that get’s me out of bed. Every night, I go to sleep, dead inside with tear stained eyes; because I live a life without love. My sister, always turning a cold shoulder. My mother, working as hard as she can to feed us and keep a roof over our heads, no time for me. My friend/the renter, going through emotional troubles herself and everyone always asks her for […]
Tag:
Waste Of Time
Why do people push love away before they can give love a chance?
by sleepxdeath
written by sleepxdeath
Fear, Frustration, Anger and Heart Break changes that.
Have you ever been so excited and so alive with one person yet for no apparent reason they just leave and everything changes? One day you guys are doing so much and are so happy that you can’t leave that person behind, because you think that there isn’t anyone as loving like them or enjoy each other’s company? You’ve done almost everything together and feels like nobody can ever replace them? Then one day, you both wake up. They leave you behind for other people. They lie; make excuses. Then they or another person tells you that they never met […]
I’m sorry I’m not good enough
I’m sorry for being a bother to the people I love
I’m sorry that I am a waste of time
I’m sorry people hate me
I’m sorry be being a waste of the human race
I’m just sorry for everything
Life has become a waste of time. Â In aviation they say, “too fast to land and too slow to fly” . Â I say, “too lazy to live, to lazy to die”. Fuck it
Dispite the fact that this is not a personal chatting site I still hope I can fine some one to talk to.Dispite my my family and the friends I ,worked so hard to make, I find my self looking for some one to connect with.Dispite the fact that I found an awesome friend that got me in ever way that I couldn’t possibly crush on, becuase he was gay, I still ruined our friend ship by not being able to talk to him any more. Dispite finding and other cool person later one I still ran away becuase white guys don’t like tall black chicks. Dispite the fact I had a guy friend who liked me and was black I still couldn’t bear to let him hang out with such a boring, poor, unatractive person, when he can do much better. Dispite the fact that I am goraphobic messed up in most ways I still want to go out and just hang out with the people that shine brighter than the sun. Dispite the fact that I am a dark cloud pouring down rain and lighting. Dispite the fact i haven’t been lonely in three years I still feel the despair of being so diffrent that even is I was accepted by people no one should dare want to hang out with some one like me, even if they said they did I will only be a disappointment and a waste of time . I don’t know………….society is made for money, bright personalities,pretty people, and people who are smart. No matter how hard you try something’s are impossible to gain,I guess you only can work hard to fake it by make up, studying, and following thougths with the bright lives………….Dispite the fact this is not a personal chatting site I still hope for so e one to talk to even if it’s only short…..lol ……I like the terms for this site ….it’s ironic ……by reading it you still hope for what the terms say don’t hope for……lol….^^
written by animerocks500
“What’s up?”
“… Nothing.”
I had to steady myself before replying. Thankfully my voice comes out normal and calm. I don’t want anyone to know about it.
I calmly walk to my room, collapse on the floor, lean against the door and just cry.
I’m selfish. Stupid. Arrogant. A waste of money. A waste of time. A waste of energy. Fat. Lazy. Ugly.
Sink down, lying on floor.
Gay. Retard. ******. Dirty. Liar.
Even if I did leave, there would still be those at school who would just laugh at me.
Lol. She’s such an emo.
I’ve been crying to the point that it hurts […]
Had a nasty argument with my mom today…. actually it was not an argument coz she just kept mum most of the time…. i am frustrated and i took it all out on her… i know i should not have done it…. i feel guilty… but guilt and remorse after the damage is done is such a waste of time… if there is another hell, i should be condemned to it for all eternity for being such an ungrateful person.
I wish i could fast forward my life to the very last hour and just die… without being able to look back and see what a […]
One good reason to live?.. i don’t see one, i just don’t desire life anymore much like anyone who knows the feeling of constant loneliness, it is never ending no matter how hard you try. I’ve been trying to “be happy” for the past few months only because this girl who i could’ve called my best friend was telling me there are reasons to be happy.. Note i am also inlove with her… Or was atleast, i have no idea where that stands but that was the last thing i cared about. Now that its gone? I really couldn’t tell you what i plan do to […]
well it hasn’t been a whole day on a new dose and i have been naughty already. one is not supposed to drink alcohol while taking a certain anti-depressant that starts with a c. we went out to eat and i had a couple of drinks. interesting that my heart started hurting. like it was being squeezed or something. that was after2 drinks. guess i probably should not find out what a bender feels like. of course i was also indulging in other things as well. expecting me to embrace total sobriety is a waste of time. it is not likely to happen anytime soon. […]
i haven’t cut in 5 months. sometimes i burn myself, punch things, smash my head on my bed frame; but it feels different to me. it’s like cutting seems like a waste of time to me now because it’s not bringing me any closer to death and i just have to stare at it after. my art show is getting closer and i just found out that one of my favorite musicians is coming to boston in august… that’s something to look forward to if i’m alive. i don’t really know how i’m feeling. this is just a rant i guess. i still have no […]
Hi all, I am 17 years of age and is so closet to finishing highschool but I just don’t want to live and I don’t know why. I have been trying hard to find a purpose, or a joy, or anything to destory that want of death , for the three years that this lack of feeling appeared but nothing is working anymore. There is nothing eles I can turly change anymore, when you are six feet two, black female and as realistic as me … You become numb to the illusion of dating of marriage-it’s impossible- but that’s not why I amm depressed […]
i hope you are up to date with your reading. someone is jerking me around. your office says its the insurance co. the insurance co says its the office. either way for some reason my co-pay to see you has now tripled. been waiting for some edict from on high saying i need to stop seeing you so often. guess now i got it. something to do with specialist services versus therapy services. blah blah blah. i love insurance companies. oh well its only money right? my current financial crisis notwithstanding. i keep saying i am worth more dead than alive. yet another example. someone […]
I don’t even know why I try, I always fail. It’s always a waste of time, a waste of energy, a waste of love. Noone ever loves me the way I love them. Noone ever really cares. This time it’s too much, it’s too painful and the wounds aren’t healing. The only way I know to be at peace and not hurt is to die. My tyme for freedom is coming soon.
Sometimes you’ll see one go huffing by with crap running down their legs.  That’s dedication and grit, both of which I haven’t got.  I brought a kitchen knife out deep into the woods one lonesome hike when I was 13.  Now I’m 41 and there’s still turds falling outta my jock strap.  They can “maybe” into one hand and piss into their other. What a stupid waste of  time.
School is such a waste of time. All people do is sit there and pretend to give a shit about me when in reality no one actually gives a fuck about me.
hello i posted here before once and got some good advice…but im feeling like ending my life more then ever. Everything ive worked on to become more optimistic and happy just seemed like a waste of time its gotten to the point where  ”smiling”  has become a chore. Ive tried to work on my family relationships to be happier and to be more social for them but they constantly remind me how pathetic i am i mean my gran would open the door to people and openly say ”this is my pathetic excuse of a grandson i couldnt be more ashamed to be his grandmother” and  my mother constantly reminding me how […]
Like I said, I am not looking for anybody’s opinion on myself, or any of my decisions. Nobody hates me more than me, so it would be a ridiculous waste of time. I have completely lost the will to live. And I mean that in the most serious way possible. Not because something bad just happened in my life. I just flat out do not want to be alive anymore. I don’t see a real reason to be, either. I am the literal definition of “useless”. I am a complete waste of space. I am probably denying somebody who deserves life precious air, and food. […]
I hate this time of year. Then again I hate every day. It is all torture. From foster home to orphanage to terrible home I jump, waiting, praying till I turn 18. People tell me it gets better and i’ll b happy soon. But does it really and how do they know?
I was taken to a new home for this holiday season. The couple has lots of money and the mother is a doctor but she can’t have kids so she chose me. Lucky me right? No. I’d rather b a million other places. The one thing I can tell u about this house… the basement is cold […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I am not feeling like it right now. That nagging feeling of pain, that would just fly around my head, I would try to swat it and it would stay there, flying.
I am content with that, and willing to live, but every once in a while I feel this crushing feeling, this little voice in the back in my head, that no matter what, I will fail, my dreams, my aspirations will just fall flat on it’s face, that my 17 years of life have been futile, worthless, an utter waste of time.
That the education system was rigged for me to fail. But right now? […]
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