I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]
Tag:
Wasting My Life
I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.
Nobody wants me around anymore, or maybe they never wanted me around in the first place…
I fuck everything up.
Life is so painful.
Everyday is just so stressful and it’s just not worth it anymore.
I want to die so bad, but I fear that I will be missing out on something good that might happen later in life.
No one loves me.
They all just pretend to care and I’m really sick of it.
I wanted to grow up and help others with mental illnesses and those who are suicidal get […]
Starting to care less about what p eople think of me. I don’t know what to write my thoughts are so jumbled I want to write though. I need to get my thoughts out. so basically I am wasting my life I am too Pathetic to push myself, I have no current interest in looking for a new job, there’s no way I’m going to be able to go back to school in the fall, I don’t like the idea of being the oldest one there, I really dont. So I’m not gonna do it . I really don’t give a shit about not graduating, […]
I haven’t fully accepted my depression, sometimes I’m like “maybe I’m just upset about this or this” or “I just need to do more”, but I think the reason can’t accept it is because to me depression feels like being left behind while everyone else is moving on as silly as that may sound. I feel like more awful than usual, I’m not sure if it has to do with the weather getting colder or the unexpected days off from school but I’ve spent most of my days sleeping curled up in a blanket ,awake with insomnia at night ,and eating a lot of junk […]
Whilst doing my daily moping on the internet, i found the registration for an intensive performing arts camp at my local college. The whole day I had been overly depressed as always, but as soon as I saw this it brightened. I immediately started to get the things for my audition ready, and  practicing. I think that if I keep my mind set on my career and other things it might keep the depression from controlling my life. I know, I know. “How can you go from being so suicidal one night, to now being so full of hope”. I did a lot of thinking about things, […]
I want to live, I really, truly do. It’s just that right now, I feel like I’m surviving and life is simply passing me by and I have no idea what to do about it. I mean, I want to die right now because my life means nothing and I’m worried it will forever be like this.
How do you get the confidence to just live? It seems to me that living takes a lot of strength. To me, the difference between living and surviving is simply that feeling of being alive. I don’t feel alive, but I’m surviving anyway. So yeah, I don’t feel alive […]
It’s so messed up. I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I guess the reason I want to die is because metaphorically I’m dying inside already, and I want life to end before I’m dead in there.
I’m an angry teenager too young to be classified as a teenager. The pain hurts. I want to cut myself like I did before when I had no reason to, and now I have reasons to and somehow I can’t bring myself to do it.
My relatives hate me because I’m silent, “unfilipino”, different. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen them ignore me. Ironically, I’ve […]