I suffer from PTSD which creates overwhelming anxiety. I can not stand people in general for tho they pretend to care in reality they do not. a more fair description might be that they care so long as its conveinent. some of the experences that have led to my PTSD include but are not limited to being in a tornado, haveing been on fire twice, watching the person next to me in junior high murdered durring class, being stabbed, constant mental and physical abuse as a child, and most recently listening to my mother shoot herself in the head while talking to me on the […]
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Weeks Before Christmas
A week from today, I will end my life. I have known for better than 20 years that my end would come by my own hand. Now it is time. While I am both heart-broken and depressed, I also realize that I no longer have the capacity to contribute to the world at large, much less to those I love, in any meaningful way. I’ve known for roughly five years that the confluence of events over the course of my now 46 years were heading in this direction. I’ve sunk ever so slowly into a situation that makes my ability to continue, impossible.
A month ago, […]
I’m sure many posts have started the same way mine will; I’ve never written a post before in my life. But things have escalated to the point where I have to say this somewhere…..anywhere. And this seems as good a place as any.
I was married at 18, got pregnant on my honeymoon, so had my first child by the time I was 19. My husband and I had known eachother since I was 13 and he was 15. We were the best of friends until things started changing when I was 16, and we fell in love.
I honestly believed my life was set. We had […]