Thinking is weird.
It brings you to thoughts
you could never imagine you thought.
Yet you know that somewhere
that thought came
known as you.
The assessment went well. Apart from the fact that she wanted to drug me up. I have another appointment on the 4th october. All I heard her say was ‘Hopefully the anti-depressants will make the voice go away’.
I didn’t have the heart to explain why I don’t want daniel to leave, So I just sat there and blanked out everything else she had to say. And I went for smart, But as I stood up she gave me a wierd look. :I Thanks. I needed that confidence boost.
Got my exam results as well! I passes everything, Some only just. But got an A in product […]
That title is ironic, I am alone.. For now.
So, feeling a bit better than I did last night, Finally got through to the person I wanted/needed to talk to. Maybe things can be okay… For now.
I got a letter from CAMH which is who are doing my mental health assessment, I have this like, thing (i’ve forgotten what it’s called) to fill out, basically just about me.. Nothing mental yet though. I went to the beach today, With my family. And we took our dog who loved it, bless her. She’s so tired now XD just like me I guess… But no sleep. Not yet. […]
its wierd how even though you may not always remember something, your mind never forgets what happened for the rest of your life,i know thats why i wake up at the same time every morning, wen i even can sleep,people tell you to move on and forget about what happened,ok, just let me slam my head against the cement and get amnesia,if its that bad that i can forget time to time but my mind alawys remembers, and noone ever tried to help me through the trama,then those people can eat shit and die,i was woken up around the same time in the morning every […]
Im so depressed. This week has been shit. And the worst part was it was all little things that have made me think about how good that shiny piece of sharp metal would look in my wrist.
1. School stuff- things about a crappy tattoo portfolio and being called wierd and having something taken away from me? which is quite confusing.
2. Maths exam- ah…exams. doesn’t everyone love them? espicially those with OCD who are terrified to write in pen and hate the thought of people staring at her because her seat was quite near the front.
3. i not long ago dropped my iPod touch in the […]
i have had many suicide attempts, and i will share them all eventually, but this is one of the more recent ones, and it is the one that disturbs me most..
i had been feeling bad for a while, things were getting on top of me, i was living with my boyfriend in a really cramped flat, it was summer, and a few things happened, i had a minor fit of paranoia when my friend tripped me up at the pub he didnt mean to, yet i saw it as he did, i was feeling abandoned, and lonely, i didnt want to be with my boyfriend […]
For the past three or four years i’ve though about killing my self on my birthday which is coming up in a little bit.Im getting married in septembor but i dont don’t know if i can suvive my birthday by the way i had a wierd dream earlyer today about i was at my birthday and people off of here started walking up and then every one started falling down then i woke up .
I am such an idiot! I see that something is finally going right, then I screw it up! I hate myself. This isn’t me. It’s not who I am. It’s wrong. I know it is wrong. I feel so guilty! Why did I do this? I know what the outcome will be. I have this small doubt still. Somehow It will work out. What if it dosn’t?! What if I lose the few people I have just because I had to say a few things like that?! I know how wrong it is. How wrong I am to do so. What the hellÂ is wrong with […]
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