Going on here, I know I would never be able to commit suicide. I’m too much of a wimp to do it, and would only be able to do so purely on impulse depending on my mood and surroundings. But I still have suicidal thoughts. I don’t know why I’m here or what my purpose is for being here. I don’t belong anywhere. Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like an outcast. I’ve never had a clique of friends I truly belonged to, and if there was, I wasn’t important enough to be invited to hang out, I was more the person they […]
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Wimp
They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person saying he can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then he left. He never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s […]
I want this to stop….I’ve trawl thru sites trying to find the way out to no avail, I am a wimp, scared of pain, 34 and have attempted overdose with sleeping tablets, anti-d’s and recreational drugs, I drink yes but not to excess for I hate the hangover! pathetic but I try to be happy and just get on, it gets harder every night to stay sane….daytime is good I have my distractions, but at night when its quiet that when the brain starts telling me to get out, just do it it, once its done that is it, nothing, all gone, I want help, […]
I don’t know what’s going on in my life. I feel so emotionally dead. Occassionally I feel small flickers of happiness, but it feels weird and stale…it doesn’t seem real. The only feelings I experience are sadness, disappointment, and anger. But most of the time I’m just existing, dull and monotonous. And what’s messed up is that I know that there’s really nothing going on that should make me feel this way. My parents are still together, I make good grades, I have plenty of friends, I have plenty of talents. It just feels like nothing matters. It’s all going to go away anyways. I’m […]
I’m currently stuck in hospital, not sure when ill be released but they’ve kept me in here for 3 months before. I can’t wait any longer to do this so I’m just going to do it in here. problem is I’m a wimp with pain so want to do it as painlessly as possible. Not to mention the lack of things I could use to CTB with. my plan is to use the exit bag with valium (diazapam).
My question is, how much diazapam do I need? I don’t want to puke just lose consciousness. I’m going to start hoarding it and think I can […]
So I decided to end my life once again. And once again I failed. I had the noose around my neck, I was getting tunnel vision as everything faded, bliss filling me, and I stood back up. I’m far too heavy to actually hang myself on like the ceiling fan whilst standing on a chair and kicking it away, so I go for partial suspension which is all it really takes. I tie my bathrobe into a noose and tie it in my closet, slip my head through, tighten it and kneel. I don’t know why I do it, but each time I get back up right […]
I have a normal life. A mother and family who loves me. And I am so utterly sad. My childhood was a mess of beating and abuse from my schoolteachers. My little brother and best friend died. I crave sympathy and the shock on people’s faces. I do nothing but sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am pathetic, I am a fool, a selfish, ungrateful, self centered loser who cannot commit to anything. I am 15 and I want to die already. My father is whining pile of sh*t that I hate. He is evil and I see him every day. I cut […]
I don’t know why I was given this life. Seriously I rather be dead than alive. I can’t stand the concept of a “god” because according to “him” he gave me this miserable life I never asked for. Now that I am alive, I have to live it because I’m too much of a wimp to try suicide… I’m too afraid of the pain. I hate my race as well, I can’t stand living in this culture with these uneducated idoits. It gets me angry just to see my race. I won’t say what race it is so I won’t anger people. I don’t like […]
I’m Haley. I’m 17 years old.
Since I was in 4th grade, i’ve had voices and thoughts in my head that tell me to kill myself. Since last year, I just complained that they weren’t me.
I realize now, they are me. Every night, I come home and research ways to kill myself. But being the wimp I am, I look up if it’s painful.The repeating words to just end it all ring in my head day after day.
I’m getting so sick of this. I need a painless way out.
I plan to buy a gun the moment I can.
Boom.
First of all, I want to preface this post by saying that, while my problem may not come close to some of the situations you might face each day, the emotional distress, uselessness and inadequacy I feel is just as intense.
I go to a private school, where the tuition is more than many colleges. Everyone at my school is going to become a doctor or a lawyer or a fundamental physicist. I don’t want to be any of these. All i want to do is teach elementary school. Â If that means that i can’t drive an audi or mercedes like my parents, thats fine. Everyday […]
I wish i had the courage to die, i wish i werent such a wimp and would just do the deed. I honestly can’t find a reason to live anymore. Any help i get is just a waste, any ‘hope’ story is just depressing. Everything is depressing. I just can’t take it. I can’t be honest with my therapist because she has proven how fast she’ll go and tell my dad. My dad is getting tired of taking me to therapy, i can tell he wants it to end but he doesnt get how bady i still need to go. my friends dont know the […]
I’m at the point of my life right now where I’m between childhood and adulthood and pretty soon I’ll be entering the real world. I’m scared about what I’m going to do with my life and I feel like I have nothing to offer in life, that I shouldn’t even be here right now because I’m useless and can’t do anything right. I feel pretty insignificant and scared to tell anyone about it in fear of the reaction they’ll have when I tell them. I’ve already gone through three therapists and none of them have really helped, or more like me thinking that I’m fine […]
My story needs to be told. No one should ever be abused, in any way. It is not only harmful to yourself, but to everyone else around you. This is my story. It is never okay to be abused.
Yes, this is mostly an abuse story. Â But for a lot of that relationship, Â I felt like killing myself. That is NOT your only choice.
When I was in 11th grade, and prior to that grade, I suffered from depression. The “no-one loves me, I just want to die†type. One of my friends happened to be really angry at this one guy so I anonymously texted him […]
For anyone who read my earlier post about not getting into college, I got accepted because it was a mistake at their end. I thought my life had new meaning and purpose…… Oh how wrong I was. I haven’t felt this depressed and suicidal for months. I am so paranoid around all the other students. I don’t fit in. I probably could if I really tried but I’m a wimp. I’ve simply had enough. I’ve tried so many things to turn my life around and they all end up the same. I was extremely close to stepping in front of a car today but I […]
I am a shy eighteen year old girl, and have been a victim of bullying for the past nine years.
It first started when I was in the 5th grade and had moved to a new school. I was allocated a new friend to help me find my feet, but instead I had someone who would emotionally abuse me for the next three years. I told my mom in the 7th grade – she said she was mad at my “friend”, but she never did anything about it. All she could say was, “It’s a phase; it’ll pass.” I never told her about the other girl […]
I really never wanted to write a post on this website. Or I guess I do it’s just that I hate it when people judge me but oh well. It’s not like I have anything more to lose anyway so here goes…
I just don’t understand why dying is such a bad thing. I really don’t get it. Like why does everyone act like I’m such a freak just because I don’t want to live anymore? Is it because life really is supposed to be this wonderful perfect happy gift that never stops giving? Well if thats the case then I should really kill myself because […]