No More

It’s not worth it. Trust me. Nothing bad can ever happen in life that’s worth killing yourself. I fell into depression last year. I thought things would never change. Everything became as worse as it could have. I tried to kill myself. I was alone in the dorm room and overdosed on more than a hundred pills. I was knocked out in minutes. Next thing I know was that I woke up in the psychiatric ward 2 days later. Apparently, somehow someone on my floor found me lying outside my door. I have no idea how I got outside. Only God knows. He does exist. This is just His test on our lives. I thought things would never improve. I was in the psych unit for a week. When I left, I still felt depressed and suicidal for months. I would cry every night in the bathroom holding a knife in my hand. But I clung on. I held on for my life. I gave it a chance. Today, I’m steadily improving mentally. My suicidal thoughts are gone. I’m still a little depressed at times. But it’s only been 6 months. It takes time. Trust me. You’re going to be perfectly fine soon enough. You just have to stay strong. I’m only 18 years old and that one night was the worst decision of my life. The pain I inflicted on my family is unbearable. People do care about you. It’s just that there’s chemicals due to meds and just so much shit going on in our brains that we can’t control. If you and I can get through this part of our lives, we can get through anything. Email me if you would like to talk to me at i.survived.91@gmail.com. Stay strong. Never give up. I don’t even know you and I care about you just because I was like you at one point and after months I understand that nothing in my life is worth it to give away my life.