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0

Give me the power to…..

August 16th, 2017by IdoCare

I see her starving herself to death. she likes that control she has never had.
we used to be a great team, but now I’m just seeing her fading. and I.. I myself have responsibilities and commitments of accomplishing achievements. I can’t stop my walk toward those achievements, but I’m either astonished and sad for her deeds. I’m helpless. I, who seems for my own eyes and many others as a true fighter, I can’t do shit about it,but make her happy and fight for those achievements.

for the last 17 days I were out of progression. couldn’t woke up at time, felt …

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3

it’s too much for me to handle

August 16th, 2017by IdoCare

I’m feeling on the edge. getting back to my work place, with the same disrespectful management and low income.
I have signed my self to silence about my pain and bad experiences. my friends don’t know what I either went and going through. and they should not even know because they would not understand.
I have literally only 2 family members and a great self divided personality to talk to. I talk to my self. yup.
when it’s hard, and I’m down on my knees, or feeling like crying like a 4 y. o boy, I’m talking to my self.
I don’t mind this …

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0

. . . countless miles away

August 16th, 2017by Once

During a recent bout with insomnia, at around 3:00 a.m., I surfed across a show called Globe Trekker on PBS. A fascinating show that highlights distant cultures in a very intimate way, taking you to a street level view of what is often the daily routine of people I would otherwise never even think of.

This episode brought me to street markets in China. Two things captured my attention. The scene was focused primarily on the cuisine being offered for sale, and it was vastly different from anything I’ve ever known – lots of plant, insect and animal based treats, snacks and dishes. Apparently,

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0

When the scales are tipping

August 16th, 2017by ibelieveinunicorns

I have suffered from depression since I was 10 years old. I’m almost 26 years old and all I can think about it how exhausting it is. Today is a hard day for me. I have done nothing but sit and think of how badly I want “lights out” It’s an overwhelming feeling to have to make your body live. There are so few things that are keeping my feet planted on the earth these days. I have 3 children, all of which are under 8 years old, and i am struggling hard to not justify my desires. I’ve thought about what I would say …

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3

Everyone who loved me is dead.

August 16th, 2017by Lost_One

So I’m literally sitting here crying & just talking to God even though I’m sure he doesn’t hear me. I’m starving & there’s not a food pantry open & I don’t steal. I asked my “friends” & “family members” for food or to borrow money until I get paid next Thursday & everybody’s like you’re over 18 I can’t help you. You should have finished college. Blah. Blah. Blah. And I’m just thinking why is God keeping me here connected with people who don’t even care if I eat or not? I’m a diabetic so literally can’t go without food. I don’t drink or smoke. …

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0

This is in fact hell

August 16th, 2017by deathispeace

Look at all the pain and confuion everyone is in. Always hoping for the best but expecting the worst wtf is this?

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1

when

August 16th, 2017by lostidentity

waking up early in the morning, only to dread going to school again, wanting to stay in bed instead.

eventually going to school and forcing yourself to be with people who doesn’t give a shit about you.

going home and doing a lot of things that probably won’t matter after ten years.

staring into space, letting the silence of your home overcome your existence.

then going to bed, lying there awake for most of the night with your tear-stained pillows.

awakening once again to relive these events over and over.

 

when will this cycle end? because i’m tired of this.

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11

I feel like I’m not worth of anything or anyone

August 16th, 2017by returntosoil

I’m a person who isolates myself from people for 6 years now. I started isolating myself when I was 14, because I was abused a lot, both physically and mentally, by my family, classmates and later teachers. I started being afraid of people at first and then got anthropophobia (pathological fear of people or human company). I can’t deny that it’s really lonely by yourself though no matter how much I try to remind myself that I’m better on my own. That no one can hurt me that way. But even though I’m so very scared of everyone I would like to find a friend …

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3

The thought of suicide is the only thought that makes me smile

August 16th, 2017by Baconrind

My happily ever after will be happening soon enough. A publisher is going to publish all my poems. As soon as I finish editing them, my final goal is complete. I already feel lighter. I just want it all to stop

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7

Feeling unbelievably low

August 16th, 2017by theblackveal

I am writing this post from South America.
I started falling for a guy here pretty hard.
Today we more than fooled around and I find out he has a girlfriend.
He denies it all, but the evidence is pretty clear.
I feel like a fool and like trash.
I have been feeling uglier and uglier.
I have been feeling low anyways before all of this.
I feel the end is near for me, I just don’t want to carry on, I just want everything to end.

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0

Journal Entry # 9

August 16th, 2017by Andreas Cook

I can’t explain myself or what I’m thinking anymore.

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2

A gentle companion

August 16th, 2017by Asura

For as long as I can remember, death has always been a comforting friend who’s wathful gaze I could turn to, as I came across dead end after dead end; each one seeming more final than the last. Yet along with all of that I’ve ever done my best to advance as a person, and know myself.

So when I spend an entire summer being denigrated, gaslit, and attacked and emotionally abused by my family all the negativity doesn’t turn to self loathing anymore. And my passive desire to die, twists into one to exact revenge against those who abused me and never once tried to

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20

I have a strange problem.

August 16th, 2017by Username123

Strangers I do not even know call the cops on me left and right while I have never done anything illegal.

Its the weirdest thing.

While I am out in public minding my own business random strangers will demonize me screaming at me or making up lies that I have done something I never have

I want to kill these people.

I want to murder them

Ive been suicidal since 13 but I became homicidal at 22. After going to jail because of random strangers.

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2

I am angry, or some kind of aggresive frustrated.

August 16th, 2017by anthropophobia

I’ve recently posted about a parting ways with a friend of 3 years. It was the result of one of my worst qualities. During times of turbulence and turmoil in my life I have a way of destructively alienating myself. Everything I read, every person I am close with, and the groups that surround me begin to cause a claustrophobia of sorts, and I start lashing out at everyone. This leaves my social life shredded and in tatters.

Since the blow up with my close friend, and what seemed like the end of our friendship, the person came back around. It seemed we reached …

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0

Unpleasant Feelings

August 16th, 2017by PrismaticGreyZone

The advice worked for me.

I saw this video a while ago and shortly after that, I had a huge fight with my mom and in the first half of it, I remembered this video and decided to try the advice to stay present for the unpleasant rush of feelings but at the same time I emotionally detached myself from the fight to¬†observed it in 3rd person; I was basically being the referee of my own fight. I observed my own feelings as well as hers and tried to understand her perspectives. During the fight, I kept asking myself, why, why do I feel this way? …

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17

Cutting is easier

August 16th, 2017by shatterediris

I look in the mirror and see my worthlessness

I feel the blood pouring out from my wrist

My body empty, face still expressionless

Self hatered boils, why do I still exist?

In a cycle of nonproduction

Failing Classes, making lacerations

endless cycles of self-destruction

Always falling short of expectations

 

All I could will myself to write today, today was fairly bad…. Normally writing shitty things makes me feel better but today it did not, I’m probably just going to cut myself instead it’s far easier.

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21

August 15th, 2017by Viator

I’m considered an attractive woman, and I’m not yet 30 years old, and I get numbers from people, etc., but I honestly don’t think I have the capacity to “fall in love” again after my own experiences. How can I trust anyone?

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16

Hi

August 15th, 2017by kamidaka

Happy August 15 everybody!

Today was the day I chose to kill myself to test a myth, but sadly I won’t do it.

I have a huge, beautiful thing to do on the 20. And because of the proximity it had with the day I chose for my death, I decided to postpone it.

I’m kinda sad, I really wanted to be today. But at this point, any date will be fine. I can’t keep this lie going on, they’re going to find out sooner or later.

So, new date: the 28, 29 or 30, probably.

I’m kinda scared and sometimes I don’t want to do it, but I have …

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10

I really did try

August 15th, 2017by iwouldrathernot

Please excuse my ramblings if they don’t make any sense, I don’t really sleep anymore. This isn’t the root of my problems I’m just saying maybe the things I say won’t make sense because I’m bad at communicating when I am this tired.

 

I don’t really know what I want to say actually, I am just very lonely and lost. My world view is very dark, from what I have seen of the world, it is very ugly to me. I don’t see people in a good way anymore. Lots of things went wrong with me, I hate myself so much.

 

For the past five years, I …

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2

how can i feel better?

August 15th, 2017by iamdarling

i have depression – i mostly just sit in my room, and scroll aimlessly through the internet for hours.

what type of things can i do to make myself feel better? bear in mind, i’m only 13.

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