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September 19th, 2017by likeastone

As I sit here watching the 1992 Pearl Jam set at Pinkpop, I can’t help but drift.  It’s an awesome set and they are just kids having a blast in front of their first massive audience.  I know what the next 25 years holds for them and they are going to enjoy it.

25 years ago…probably one of the most miserable, loneliest times in my life.  Yet here I sit, two and a half decades later, just as miserable, just as lonely.  Maybe more so actually.

I had plans.  I worked hard and did what I was supposed to.  I was succeeding. But I placed my trust …

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The moment you actually do it

September 19th, 2017by OneShot

Probably like everyone else I fantasize about killing myself constantly. In my mind it plays out like some melodramatic soap opera, but in reality I know it’s going to be clumsy, disgusting and messy. I’ve watched enough suicide videos to know that it’s never cool and honorable like in the movies. Actually one suicide was pretty great, the guy “Gene” who takes a swandive off the Golden Gate Bridge in that documentary. But other than that, all the other suicide videos I’ve seen, probably 40 or 50 of them, are sort of pathetic. Just really sad and depressing to watch. And I know that’s how …

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Yet I cry out

September 19th, 2017by heartlessviking


Why believe in anything? Anyone? Nothing at all is certain.

I loved a woman once, with all I could. I poured out myself trying to make that work. Yet, that ended. Now I have a fine woman, but she is not my focus. If she were gone, I would go on with no issue. I’m prepared for that.

There is no person on this planet who has not screwed up. There also isn’t a single person without a redeeming quality. This makes sorting or any sort of processing of human beings fundamentally futile.

Then there is the world I see. I have journeyed to madness and back. What …

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September 19th, 2017by Robigson

Thinking about it

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I want to die

September 19th, 2017by iwouldrathernot

I really really want to kill myself, I already know it’s not gonna end well for me no matter what I do. But I feel so guilty doing that to my family, so I’m trying really hard to stick it out. But man that takes endurance that I’m not sure I have.

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September 19th, 2017by eternaldarkness

Most people say they don’t believe in conformity and that being being yourself is a good thing. Yet, we see over and over again that if you do not conform, you will be attacked.

Come out as gay? How dare you! You are an abomination.
(I’m not gay, just giving an example)

You don’t believe in religion? You’re automatically viewed as a bad person.
You’re a Christian? And you go to church? OMG he/she must be a good person!

You actually like school? You’re a NERD!
And…what is wrong with wanting to be smart and educated?

You don’t like …

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September 19th, 2017by Cause of Death: Suicide

I was supposed to be dead by 18.

I am stuck with my abusive parents

in their disgusting household they haven’t cleaned in 5 years

They sent me to hospitals where they put me in coma broke my neck and raped me

They threaten to send me back at least 5 times a year

I tell them I fucking hate them and to leave me alone i haven’t wanted to associate with them since I got smart and a brain and realized I wouldn’t want to spend another minute living their way.

I’m planning to kill myself as soon as I get my license reinstated from DUI from greedy ass pig …

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Royal Screw-Up

September 19th, 2017by velveteennightingale

I was kicked out of one of my dance classes because I didn’t finish the combination across the floor and was then snippy with the teacher because I was on the verge of crying and hyperventilating and refused to finish it. I then went to the bathroom and ended up crying and hyperventilating. God!!! What the FUCK is wrong with me? How will I ever be able to show my face there again? I love that teacher and now she hates me because she doesn’t get why I was like that. Just another person on the long list that I’m a massive disapppointment to, I …

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I didn’t jump. I lived to see my 16th birthday! :-)

September 19th, 2017by Dawnstar

Broken Arch

I’m not suicidal at this time, and this story, although true, has taken place in the past. Perhaps writing this is part of my own integration process, and maybe it can help somebody else, I don’t know? Anyway, hello everyone, and to quote Hannah from 13 Reasons Why, “It’s me, live and in stereo”! 😉

Unlike the Netflix series, I wish I could list specific reasons why I became suicidal. I wasn’t raped by a family member or anything like that, and I really have a life which (although certainly far from perfect) I’m sure many would be envious …

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my life is a mess

September 19th, 2017by iamdarling

i’m ugly.

i’m untalented.

i have no friends.

i haven’t attended school for two years.

my family are abusive.



my life is a mess, and i can’t clean it up.

i have nothing going for me,

and i am going nowhere.

i’ve ruined myself and my life.


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Deal with The Devil

September 18th, 2017by eternaldarkness

So let’s say you meet the proverbial Devil. What would you give up your soul for? Assuming one believes in souls / devils / afterlife.

Immortality? Eternal youth? Beauty? Happiness? Some super talent? Would you strike a deal?

Hell yeah. If there was such a thing as a hell, I’m pretty sure I’d wind up there anyway, so might as well make a deal. I would, however, have to think about what I’d want tho…

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I think the end is near

September 18th, 2017by Brokenlostsoul

I am tired of life sitting in my room all day. I am to scared to be in public. My mental health is getting worse. I don’t have any friends no girlfriend. I am 32 and on ssi living with my grandparents I feel like a complete failure. I think I am almost ready to go. I had so many chances to get back on track but I always mess up. I can still remember the day that my mental health went bad. I am fed up with my life . I have tried but it’s a losing battle living with paranoia is the worst …

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How would you describe yourself?

September 18th, 2017by eternaldarkness

A sad sack of potatoes

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September 18th, 2017by Sui_RC

Hey guys,
my last post was little more than an year back. A lot has changed in between.
And yet a lot has remained the same.

I started cutting. Again.

I started smoking. Again.

I am a disappointment.

Still suicidal.

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My life can be summed up in one sentence…

September 18th, 2017by InDesperateNeed

So, my life can be summed up in one sentence: That didn’t go as planned. I’ve had multible boyfriends and grilfriends, but I alays end up dragging them into my depression. i always push away my friends, and I end up hurting them. i hurt everyone in my life, and I can’t do this anymore. I want to vanish from my life, and i want to leave all this, so I don’t have so see all my loved ones suffer. not that they would even notice, but you get what i mean. why can’t this be easier? why does life have to suck?

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Disappointment?Always been one.

September 18th, 2017by YetAnother

Have you felt like you can just never do anything right? All you want is to make something right but every time you try, it only gets messier?
I have been like that for a while now. Iam far from being a ” normal person”. Everyone wants to mould me into someone they need. And yet I try, only so that I could feel accepted for once. Feel loved for once. And guess what happens?
Everything I think I have something or someone, I only end up losing them.
Everyone seem to need me once in a while and every time, I ask for an ounce of care,

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Be Perfectly Mediocre

September 18th, 2017by eternaldarkness

Do you know what the only way to NOT be made fun of is? To not get picked on, or harassed, or joked about, have people be mean or nasty to you, or verbally attack you (either to your face or behind your back)?

That’s right- be mediocre. Be perfectly mediocre.

-If you are ugly, ppl make fun of you and won’t want to date you.
-If you are beautiful, men will harass you, leer at you, say dirty and disgusting things to you, and women will be nasty or passive aggressive to you because they’re jealous.

-If you wear nice or bright …

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What I feel

September 18th, 2017by lxmyrick

So I have been suffering depression for about 5 years,with other issues as well, but I don have a reason too.  I have a great family, good school system, though I disagree with the national schooling system, and my life is pretty good; but I still feel depressed.  I hide my depression from everyone, and so no one knows, but on the inside I feel lonely, bored, empty,and I feel like there is no purpose.  So if my life is good, why am I so depressed?

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September 18th, 2017by RoughEdges

Silly little girl,

Don’t fool yourself

They’ve seen your scars.

Just don’t want to help.

But little do they know

How much could change

With three little words.

“Are you alright?”

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Grow Up Fast

September 18th, 2017by Blue Jeans

People say I’m mature. People say I’m all grown up. What does it matter? When you can’t even convince the ones who control everything that you are? Sometimes kids know just as much as these grown-ups do, sometimes it breaks their hearts. But what does it matter? It doesn’t concern them, they’re just kids.

How can I explain the feeling of being an equal to my parents, watching them rip each other apart, and still feel as helpless as a child? For I can do nothing to change their minds, I’m their child. I’m too young. Too young to understand things like pettiness, greed, narcissism, and …

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