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New thoughts, New beginnings.

  July 21st, 2018 by Mimo

Days where you feel empty come back; you did that thing again, didn’t You? You dummy, I told you not to do that again. Let me see.

I knew it was wrong but the feelings just felt worryingly satisfying.. it’s worse this time, you know That, right? You said you weren’t going to do it again, how do I know you won’t do it again?

You don’t know, that’s the thing. I don’t even know when it’ll occur again, it just does; whenever it feels like it.

You need help, okay? These things you’re doing to yourself aren’t good, and I don’t want to have to keep babysitting …

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1

Finding comfort

  July 21st, 2018 by morado123

I’ve long since realized that, instead of being a token to my surviving in harsh times, my cutting scars are a constant reminder of how weak I had been. I’d been so weak that I couldn’t even visit a shrink. I was so afraid that I would have so many scars that I only cut a specific spot on my arm, to minimize the scars. See, I was weak all the time. Cutting, no matter how much comfort it gave me, was never a solution to anything. It was making me weaker.

But I stopped cutting and I’m in need of a new comfort. Something that …

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.

  July 21st, 2018 by rip_gato

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1

Something Needs To

  July 21st, 2018 by raperapelemonade

I told my only family member it was time for me to stop. The only person in the world who knew me. He said at least try acid once.

I dosed and became one with the Universe and all that shit. I felt something fall off my shoulders afterwards. I got an understanding of why I survived the first eleven years of my life along with him surviving the first twenty.
-We weren’t meant to survive right?

I got a hippy ass perspective on why there’s scars on my genitals that I can’t explain to a doctor.

It lasted about a month until I was drugged and raped in …

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What Happens After Death?

  July 21st, 2018 by LoneRed17

I’m starting to permanently make up my mind when it comes to suicide. I’ve had suicide attempts before and I’ve bounced back from depression at times, but this time it’s different. This time I can feel something pulling me towards death. It’s as if the world wants to take me back or as if death has fallen for me and it wants to take me home. I’m scared of shooting myself, I’m scared of waking up in a place full of pain and suffering despite the fact that I want to die in order to escape the daily pain I feel.

I have no idea what …

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Thank you

  July 21st, 2018 by tired123

I have been gone for almost a year and I was just wondering if anybody was still around from back then?
I thought I was doing ok. But here I am…. I want to thank you all for posting your thoughts. I come here when I am at my lowest. This sight makes me realize that I am not alone. There are so many things I read here that I have thought or gone through myself. If im crazy then im not alone in that either lol Thank you!!!!!!!!! <3

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3

Boyfriend was suicidal

  July 21st, 2018 by Number

My boyfriend told me he was thinking about suicide for quite some time after his wife cheated, divorce, being in debt. He’s told me doesnt think too much about (our) future and he’s at the stage where he just wants to take each day as it comes and not stress..

he’s turned his life around and he seems happy and content. Im happy for him..

But im not. Im utterly depressed and secretly wanting to die. I secretly hate his new life. Nothing horrible has happeend to me im just fucked im the head. My self esteem is rock bottem. I hate myself all the time. …

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It’s That Time of Year Again

  July 21st, 2018 by raperapelemonade

2nd year anniversaries are so surreal.

I dont know if it would honor you or offend you if I chose to enter light body that day. I already failed once in a way I shouldnt have failed because of your bad timing. Then you died.

This is a sign I should go with you, I feel sometimes. You said you couldn’t do this life without me, what the fuck do you expect me to do here without you.

Drugs sure help. Maybe they’ll have pity/mercy on me the way they did for you and take care of the dilemma I face daily

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1

I wish

  July 21st, 2018 by Number

I wish ending it was as easy as flicking a switch.
Objectively, my life isnt even that bad. I’ve still managed to create my own vortex of emptiness, lonliness and misery. I dont know any different. I cant even describe it.. I want to just shrivel up and disappear. The world wouldnt miss me.

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5

just…just…just….surprised I’m still here

  July 20th, 2018 by indigochyle

I’m posting this because I’m stuck in my own head. I totally screwed up my life when I went off my meds, though it did save my life because I was really really really sick with bad side effects. During the comedown I didn’t taper…like they say….and am surprised I’m here today. Even fought in a psych ward (just got the bill I keep ignoring again today…yay!) to not be on meds now I just have more labels shoved on my head. But I fought to keep off meds….and here I am. Surprised.

I’m numb. I woke up a few weeks ago knowing it was now …

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7

Betrayal

  July 20th, 2018 by melancholyman

i had a girlfriend, whom I loved more than words described and always tried to see the good in her. Recently she became cold, not really worried about me or about what’s going on in my life. Wanted to see me less and told me to trust her and all that bullshit. I knew something was wrong , she had told me that she has been sleeping a lot cause she  was sick, didn’t hear from her for 3 days. My thoughts were racing I decided to go to her house, I knew she  was there. I stood there knocking for 15 minutes without an …

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well again

  July 20th, 2018 by spectralgiraffe

not really suicide related

I know one thing I wanna meet my boyfriend again in real life in a few months thats for sure. And then I keep thinking after that oh if only I’d die or I could end it… I’m really way too tired and sick of life’s problems and don’t like life itself blah blah… he’s the only highlight in my life. Makes me smile 🙂

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Advice on lessening impact of death?

  July 20th, 2018 by windydoor

No suicide methods or details regarding method will be posted here. I want to share my pre death plan and receive advice & input.

Context & reasoning

I’ve been suicidal even since childhood so I knew it was an eventuality. Now I am an adult with no dependents (other than my pet rats), and I am ready to follow through on my plan.

I know I do lots of good things for others and there are people who want (not need) me in their lives, but I hate being alive. I don’t see the point in living when it only benefits others. I don’t expect anything more from …

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10

my only option

  July 20th, 2018 by aazrael

i’ve always been suicidal, but i think i was that way for attention. i definitely felt awful but i just wanted someone to love me. now i know what it’s like to REALLY be suicidal. i don’t care who sees, it doesn’t matter if it’s by accident or nature or my own hands, i just need this to end.

the father of my unborn child is ten years older than me and he can’t get a job. when i get upset he used to be so sweet, but since i became pregnant he says i “b*tch too much” and now when i get suicidal and hurt …

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2

Cycle not broken

  July 20th, 2018 by Destinyrepeated

Everyone in my fam has mental illness. Nineteen months ago my daughtrr committee suicide. Im close now. If i do, my other daughter will follow and then maybe my granddaughters. But im so tired of fighting to live. Hiding who i am, trying to be Normal, why am i responsible for their lives

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Life threateningly low self-esteem

  July 20th, 2018 by Rainwatch

Balzac once wrote low self-esteem is at the bottom of most suicides, he’s right.  I can’t see a guy or girl with regular self-esteem taking their life. You need to fucking despise yourself to complete suicide. Somewhere along the line as a kid I failed to develop self-esteem, perhaps because I grew up with a stutter but life threateningly low self-esteem has been my companion since, I can’t shake him off. He’s with me everywhere.

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1

Fake happy

  July 20th, 2018 by Jr.

Everyone thinks I’m doing fine but I’m not. My family thinks I’m doing fine. My psych Dr. thinks I’m doing fine and thinking of discharging me from the program. But in reality, im thinking of offing myself in about 6 and half months.

I really wish I wasn’t born. I really detest this life I live 🙁

 

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6

  July 20th, 2018 by spookichick

a perfect example of  what a shitty mother looks like in my world.

my beautiful son of 23 years of age said to me last evening, “mom, i feel so guilty making you go through all of your pain for me. i am so sorry,”

there it is. i replied ‘i go back and forth every day, and you always win.” (referring to committing to suicide”.

now what in the hell am i supposed  to do with that?

 

 

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2

Hate of Self

  July 20th, 2018 by Gary

What do you do when one part of you is desperately trying to kill the other half?

I’m tired of this battle.

I’m going nuts trying to keep them separated and somewhat corralled.

It’s not working and I’m loosing.

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2

The unhorror….

  July 20th, 2018 by rivets

I wish the old ones were real,
and would bring the destruction of reality.
That would make a fun Friday, I think.
Oh, Cthulhu fhtagn!
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