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F this life!!!

  October 15th, 2018 by dancingwithdeath

I’m just a piece of shit. I feel so empty everyday. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others but if everyone else around you is achiever, how can you not feel depressed and useless. I really hate the person I have become!!! I have too many regrets in life, the biggest is not offing myself earlier which allowed myself to continue creating more regrets 🙁

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The missing Zzz

  October 15th, 2018 by Atintofgreen

Anyone awake?

I can’t sleep.

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  October 15th, 2018 by cohw77

its late, and nothing bad happened today, and im thinking about how im going to kill myself.

im not even crying anymore, just thinking. weighing the options. what method will leave my body a mangled corpse versus a peaceful one, where i should go to make sure its not my brother who finds me, what ways will have the best likelihood of successfully ending my life and where i would be able to get the supplies for those methods.

im not looking for advice, it’s just strange and lonely to feel so clinical about something that should probably make me upset. it doesnt anymore.

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  October 14th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

I’m sure that even after l die it won’t be much better than this life.

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  October 14th, 2018 by muir

Never thought about falling off a bridge until recently. I pretty much hate heights. It crossed my mind recently and now I am having a hard time not thinking about it. Weird, right?

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What do you carry in your soul?

  October 14th, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

I carry in my soul an unmitigated blackness darker than that of a thousand collapsed suns swiveling precipitously in voiden abjection at the edge of the furthest galaxy forsaken by man..!

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before I die

  October 14th, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

I’m not gonna bother telling you my story but is anyone here from the southeastern/central Wisconsin area? The reason I’m asking is because I figured that I should at least try sex once before I die. Due to multiple factors, including the reason(s) why I want to kill myself, along with self worth, connecting with a very limited amount of people, and autism, I haven’t done it yet. I dunno, I’ve tried dating sites and no one really responds to messages. I get hits due to being good looking but since you have to pay to get your messages read, meh… I’m extremely selective when …

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Sharing My Story part 4

  October 14th, 2018 by clipped-wings

If you’ve read my last three posts you know the background. I am leaving a lot out.  It’s quite overwhelming for me.

After five nights as an inpatient I was discharged on a Tuesday. After having my torso cut open and rearranged I was given a prescription for Darvocet N-100. Basically glorified Tylenol. After some phone calls I finally got Dilaudid. I was on it for six months. I couldn’t stand up straight for four months. I was worried about becoming addicted to the drug. I did not. Eighteen years later, the reconstructed breast still looks good. I’m cancer free.

And the asshole resident got in trouble. …

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. . . tribal. . .

  October 14th, 2018 by Once

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  October 14th, 2018 by Nike66

I got kicked out of high school when i was 13 and got moved around from shithole school to shithole school all of them being really far away  never getting a chance to make friends. I am 16 and only have 1 friend it has been like this for 4 painful years. Earlier this year it got so bad i stole a car disabled the airbags took off the seat belt and crashed it foot to the floor into a house what should i do?

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  October 14th, 2018 by spreject

What to do, when you become that guy:
Other people’s “There but for the grace of God, go I”?

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My honest feelings

  October 14th, 2018 by noah5678

I honestly don’t think I’ll ever understand why people want to live so crazy long in this world, like up to age 100. IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE. I literally see no point even living past age 30.

I honestly believe by life will NEVER have meaning. Even if most of my problems went away FOR GOOD; nothing, and I mean NOTHING could EVER make life enjoyable for me.
Like, even when I’m not feeling sad or depressed, life is still never very fun or enjoyable for me. I truly believe that even if I start to feel less miserable one day; nothing will EVER be able …

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  October 14th, 2018 by PatheticMale

It´s a shame it doesn´t have any accurate translation to my native language. What an extremely powerful, complex word with such profound meaning, so complete on itself. . Language can be so beautiful. A 500 pages book couldn´t describe me and my life better than this one single word.

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  October 14th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

Do you know what can help you? To be yourself around other people.

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Sharing My Story part 3

  October 14th, 2018 by clipped-wings

My surgery lasted over 11 hours. Then I was taken to a room. This was a Thursday. I was ordered (the wrong) pain medication every four hours. I was unable to move. By Friday evening, I was in total agony. The resident was paged. I felt like I was pinned to the bed. A large wooden stake just below my sternum. I was berated by the resident for taking him away from his “true emergencies”.

After screaming in pain for 2 days, I was finally put on a morphine drip with a button so I could control my pain.  Within an hour I was out of …

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Me x my character

  October 14th, 2018 by WITHINtheShadows

What’s the point in insisting being with people and using these chat apps if I hate people? Every message that arrives I boil in anger.

And if I hate people and they make me feel so bad why I am in contact with human beings? In the end is only anger, frustration and depression and I’m always alone.

Too many messages in my smartphone but no one to sit down and have a real chat about sth really nice. So always alone.

Something doesn’t match in my behaviour. I think I’ve been a fraud. I’m deeply antisocial and I built a life where I’ve acted as a sympathetic …

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Sharing My Story part 2

  October 13th, 2018 by clipped-wings

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 36. It was caught very early and the treatment at the time was lumpectomy followed by radiation. But because of my autoimmune disease (SLE), that was not an option.  After getting multiple opinions, my only choice was a mastectomy. I did have options when it came to reconstruction.

Because of my age, I chose a TRAM flap reconstruction. I was told by my surgeon that it was extremely painful. I was assured that my pain would be well controlled.

I trusted her. I put my life in her hands. I lived. I sometimes wish I hadn’t.

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How I feel about being a US citizen…

  October 13th, 2018 by BehindDeadEyes

This song sums up how I feel about this country, it’s so called values, and the people who hold the real power.


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the part of breaking

  October 13th, 2018 by Yikrens

  • childhood myth
  • childhood trauma
  • familiar problems as child
  • over average learning curve
  • lose of interest
  • break of hope
  • suicide ideation
  • complicated relationship
  • suicide attempt #1
  • suicide attempt #2
  • acausal commiseration
  • 2-lined personality
  • very far social network
  • psychosis
  • suicide assumption
  • breakdown of social life
  • runaway
  • theft of data
  • train power line electrocution
  • autism
  • police incident with loss of will for living, skills and unrecoverable state of development, quest or right
  • emigration with challenge to kill me and for gaining sanity in an unknown environment
  • admitted terroristic tendencies
  • death of family member
  • runaway #2
  • runaway #3
  • no labor fitness/field
  • self-harm with drugs
  • suicide attempt #3
  • retirement
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Society’s obsession with living as long a life as possible

  October 13th, 2018 by antithesis

Society’s manic obsession with living as long a life as possible, no matter the quality of that life, is just so absurd.

I feel like my life has run its course and I am ready to go. I have had a privileged life. I worked my dream job. I ate a lot of good food. I went to a lot of nice places. I knew a lot of good people. I had a good-enough time. I was safe and I was secure.

Now I am no longer able to work – I haven’t done so in about 13 years. I am isolated. My health is impaired – …

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