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Am I an Hikikomori

  December 11th, 2018 by Black Holez

Hikikomori is a psychological condition which makes people shut themselves off from society, often staying in their houses for months on end. Due to external circumstances of being attacked on social media and my friends turning on me and trying their best to isolate me, I’ve been like this for more than 2 years already. My routine consists of waking up in bed, staring at walls, staring in front of a computer screen and then logging into the internet for hours on end and only going outside to fetch my girlfriend either in the afternoons or evenings. I feel so empty and so lost that …

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1

  December 11th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

I won’t find something to live for so l’ll probably do it in less than a month.
Can l live with this emptiness, can l live for nothing?

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1

I just need a nice safe quiet place to live.

  December 11th, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

I’m still facing eviction with nowhere to go.

I pursued a lead on craigslist and it turned out to be a scam.  They wanted me to wire them money and then they send the key and papers in the mail.  Yeah right.

I feel so stupid.  Wasted a week pursuing this lead before they revealed their scheme.  People think because I’m mentally disabled that I’m completely stupid.  It’s hurtful and I’ve grown to resent it.

I don’t know what to do.  I’m pretty much at the bottom of the barrel as far as housing goes.  If I go to another boarding house or worse, a halfway house, I’ll …

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Screening

  December 11th, 2018 by BabyBlu

Man, isn’t it the best when an opportunity comes your way to actually reach out, and you do absolutely nothing? In my case, it was a depression screening. I could’ve answered better, but oh well. It was set up on 1, 2, 3, with 3 being like you were planning to kill yourself asap. Only answered 1 and 2. I’m a dumbass. No better way to put it, now is there?

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7

I’ve failed

  December 11th, 2018 by The Watcher

So I’ve run out of time and resources. I’ll be homeless very soon. Depression beat me and I’m giving up now because I have nothing left to fight for or to motivate me. Wishing everyone out there who still has a chance good luck. I hope you make it.

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2

I hate me

  December 11th, 2018 by shatterediris

I don’t know, I’m lonely, I’m hungry, I’m too close to people, and I don’t feel like eating. I want to spend more money on fast food to make me feel better but I didn’t even eat all of the last wasted money. I don’t exactly make enough for this but I have a nice hoard as of now, I’ve removed most of it from reach. I can’t anymore I just can’t I hate me and I must express it. I don’t work nor do I even go to school, nor do I do anything of value to anybody of value.

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2

beware the slippery slope of Gray.

  December 11th, 2018 by freeroma

Ive been having dreams with D in them lately.. some sincerely twisted shit which needs to stop. Probably because my bro told me what duma and him are getting up to and past has been on my mind.. its not part of my life anymore and i tried to do what i could, i dont need that popping up in my sleep.

But a few transitions after his appearance in last nights dream..
I saw a dear friend of mine, with his SO and joint family (some of whom are in reality deceased).
But he was talking with his son at some point, who’s my age. …

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1

where my head is at

  December 10th, 2018 by Gary

almost there folks

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2

Cutting, My Slippery Slope.

  December 10th, 2018 by NO_REMORSE

5 days ago i put the blade to my arm for the first time in my life. I was reading posts on SP, listening to music going through a depressive episode. My mind just said fuck it, wonder what its like cutting yourself. So i went ahead and did, with a razor blade. Make a few little cuts, got a rush, than overreacted and scared the shit out of my girlfriend. Made a post about it on SP, got a lot of advice and wisdom, but i was never the type to listen to anyone but myself anyway haha.

Fast forward 5 days and i have.. …

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1

Fading Away

  December 10th, 2018 by Teresa's Child

Evil. Everything I see is evil, inside and out. I won a great victory over my own demons today, but I feel no exhilaration. No sense of accomplishment. I do feel a little less twisted and torn up, which is nice, but mainly I just feel tired.

Thoughts and memories fly around in my empty, tired head. Thoughts of people I met, libraries I visited, librarians that taught me things, girls I loved, things I wanted. But it all flies in and out of my head, meaningless. I feel unreal, like the world has almost completely faded away from me. It’s a struggle right now to …

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3

Anyone had a suicide related NDE?

  December 10th, 2018 by Martin1987

If anyone had a suicide-attempt related NDE (Near death experience) please be kind and share it with us?

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4

Babble

  December 10th, 2018 by Mouse

Too many people pretend to care. If you care about someone and don’t hear from them for a while e.g 2 months, but you don’t try to contact them, its unlikely that you truly care. Then again, there’s people who ‘care’ for their own benefit who might contact you again somewhere down the line…
Ps. I am not claiming that I care.

RE a certain royal, I don’t like daily mail but I still read it… also no idea if any of this about her is actually true, anyway, society is infested with social climbers and users! Its definetly not only her (if its true)

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2

Won’t find that

  December 10th, 2018 by Mouse

Stop looking for meaning… stop stop stop stop, that’s over.

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3

  December 10th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

I don’t know why should l keep living

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2

Dead Man Walking

  December 10th, 2018 by depressedfather

I’m what you would call a “high functioning” suicidal person. I’m able to force myself out of bed, get cleaned up, do just enough at work to not get fired, and make it home to my family at the end of the day.

I can feel the end of all this approaching soon. My family cannot see it, as I’m pretty good at hiding my feelings. But I know everything is about to fall apart.

Every day it’s harder and harder for me to perform at work. All I can think about is how much I just want to stop existing. Any day now word will come …

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2

Solitary

  December 10th, 2018 by morado123

I hate freedom.

I’d rather be trapped in a busy cycle

so as not to left alone, wishing for human connections.

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12

Do you feel it too?

  December 10th, 2018 by wearehannahbaker

That somehow the day will come and you will eventually do it.

It doesn’t matter if you’re having a good couple of days or months. Or even years. It always comes back: the urge of ripping your skin out.

Of wanting to cut your wrist and just bleed yourself to death.

Of finally opening up that bottle of Vodka and mix it with all the benzos you’ve been storing.

It will come for all of us. Someday.

We will never be fine until we’re not here anymore.

 

That’s our fate and I crave for it more than anything else.

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3

Life

  December 10th, 2018 by Skarsgard

I always wonder what life is all about. After living a hellish one I think I finally figured it out. Life is just about our survival. Thinking that life is good or precious is one of our ways to survive mentally. We learned how to fool ourselves about the harsh reality of life to feel better. Life is just about losing. We are given the freedom to choose what we love but we can never have the capability of protecting it forever because the only thing constant in this world are loss and change. We keep on losing things, people or whatever we have that …

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2

So lost

  December 10th, 2018 by fading-light

Ive been battling with depression and shit for a long time. Recently I started becoming really close with a friend of mine. Like. Too close. All I want is his attention these days cause it’s the only thing that makes me remotely happy. It’s not fair to him. And I don’t want to have feelings for this dude but I do. I’ve been struggling to keep from throwing myself over a cliff for his sake really. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t know if I can take anymore of this life.

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4

Walking corpse

  December 10th, 2018 by Black Holez

My routine is basically sleep, wake up, stare at walls and in front of the computer screen all day, play video games then fetching my girlfriend when her class is finished. And that’s the only time I ever go out of the house is when fetching my gf. I’m basically a living corpse. I don’t know how much of this I can tolerate. It’s like I’m a part-time hikikomori or something.

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