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0

No matter

  July 22nd, 2018 by fakehappy

No matter what I say, I am trapped here

Lost, the pain just got worse

Even without missing your touch

I have endured too much

Things I never got to tell you, not that you wanted to know.

Not that you’d have understood the pain. I wish I’d never met you. I wish I’d shut doors sooner.

Not just to you but to everyone. Because I know most people don’t care about us.

They just care how we make them feel.

He just cared if I’d let him between my thighs, so he could crawl up into my mind and take over.

He took up my time and told me I wasted his. Wasted …

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4

Looking for a girl company

  July 22nd, 2018 by Jalpits

Let me briefly describe myself. Physically I don’t find myself ugly, in fact I think I am attractive, 19 yo boy. But just physically. Inside, another story. Because of my mother’s wrong upbringing (not just completely wrong but harsh) in the earliest age of childhood, I didn’t get important social skills and have barriers in social situations. I think in the last year my situation improved, but still I don’t have some communication skills, don’t know what to say, I am not chatty at all. I have never had a girlfriend, I had a couple of good friends (male) but I kinda messed it up …

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1

My Note

  July 22nd, 2018 by Idont34324know32

I’ve repeatedly been suicidal in the past number of years becoming more and more frequent.  That meant that my note has changed over this period naturally.  The latest note wrote today is as follows:

I’m sorry to everyone Mum, Dad i’m sorry.  I just can’t continue my life means nothing and all i do is cause pain to everyone inside it.  The closer you are the worse it is, so i’ve ended it to save everyone from the pain.  You will feel better when i’ve done it.

I can’t help but wish i made different choices but all i see is death at the end of the …

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0

A Letter To Myself (poem written by me)

  July 22nd, 2018 by anonymousie

  • dear anonymousie

there you go
ruining everything again
without even trying to
how pathetic are you?

you want to die,
and it’s so rightfully justified
because you’re mediocre at best
no matter how hard you try

you could eat healthier
exercise more
erase your past
you could do everything he wants

but who says that will make love last?

you’ve made mistakes
many terrible
some preventable
most were accidental

you can try blaming it on
being a millennial
but not all of us
are fuck ups like you

“consistency is key”
the only thing you’re consistent at
is ruining everything for me
you’re the one that won’t let you be happy

you know just how to make him hate you
you wonder why he ripped your
pictures off the wall
it’s because he …

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0

Why is it that good things rarely happen

  July 22nd, 2018 by Sui_RC

So fuck this right. I am a college student and we have to do a couple of internships at the end of our sophomore year. And like one of them can be a project based thing and another with a company. So I get a professor to give me a project and somehow, in spite of by substandard CV, get a company to hire me without pay. The last two months basically were me begging the prof to give me something to work on, and hearing from the corporate guy how my incompetence knows no bounds.

So basically, I spent the last two months, wasting my …

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1

  July 22nd, 2018 by clipped-wings

I used to look at my reflection in the mirror. I would say I hate you. 

Now my body is attacking healthy cells. Pain and infection slowly taking over. I am killing myself. 

One drug took my eyes. The other didn’t help. For now I choose nothing.

I don’t want to die yet. I just don’t want to hate myself. 

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7

Why so much pain?

  July 22nd, 2018 by PatheticMale

I feel very guilty to post this here but I´m probably goint to kill myself one day if I grow some balls to do it and I belive that every human being shoud have a right to leave this world without unecessary pain. I noticed so many people choosing to die in such painful ways it makes me ask why? When a 10 year old could order a lethal dose of heroin or some other opioid from darkweb. You just shoot urself up, your body gets so relaxed  your heart just stops beating. What a peaceful way to go.  Like for example I ve red …

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1

The end of my rope

  July 22nd, 2018 by Rainwatch

  • Some people just aren’t made for life and I’m one of them. I feel the end coming, i’ve no choice, to die by my own hand is my only option. I’m starting to override my anguish about what my suicide would do to my loved ones, if they knew how I see myself they might respect my decision and say ” his life truly was that bad, it’s heartbreaking what happened but at least he’s found peace”. I just can’t do it anymore.
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6

Maybe

  July 22nd, 2018 by raperapelemonade

Even though we cant talk to each other directly here. I feel safe here. I feel in the silence, a comradery.

I love reading the stuggles the goodbyes because i can relate so much to these entries and i just have nothing but love for you.

Even if you are a judge of me, i can relate and I’m grateful. Whatever comes… I’m just grateful for this silent hive where our honey is our words about our bloody battles of life, death, trauma, pain more than anyone else in the real world could ever handle. We can speak it here in complete truth and honesty without fear.

I’m …

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9

Burned Bridges/Police Knocking

  July 22nd, 2018 by SweetQuietus

Someone had posted about calling the Suicide Prevention Hotline. The police showed up to check on her for a well visit and took her to a mental health intake facility. While understandable, this is troublesome for me.

There’s been a lot of bridges I burned in an effort to protect people here. Why drag people down with me? I don’t just do that to the friends I’ve made on SP, but in real life as well.

It is of no benefit to anyone to know how bad it is. Family and friends would feel remorseful if they knew. Some of my family and friends avoid …

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5

What do you do when you can’t feel anything? Just emptiness, numbness… I can’t do anything.  I’m suicidal. Ive tried so many times. I tried to get better. I stopped taking antidepressants for 2 months now. I didn’t want to depend on it anymore.

4

S

  July 21st, 2018 by EmptyPluto

Selina is sitting on the roof. Watching you as you progress through your hazy day. I wonder if she’ll ever greet you or me.

2

Rant

  July 21st, 2018 by midnight1234

I know that if I tried my friends would freak out on me or hate me as would my family. So instead I’m here. My life should be great. I’ve got money, people who care about me, and pretty much anything I want. And yet I’m still here and I still hate myself to death and want to die. And I fucking don’t know why. I don’t care that dyslexia and depression and anxiety run in my family because I never asked for any of it. And yet here I am still typing on this website wondering if there are other people out there like …

3

Here we are again

  July 21st, 2018 by rivets

More obligations, more work, more money to make to fuel the never-ending cycle of bills and expenses. The world churns along at a glacial rate and flattens any and everything that’s standing still. You feel like you’ve got some time – the glacier’s still a mile away, why not have a picnic? Too much complacency is a fatal mistake. It’s horrible, grating and pointless. There is no understanding here, just cold mechanical process. Oh, but the Mormons are still fun to talk to when they come to the door, and now I get to be home all throughout the day so they can wake me …

1

Don’t want to be here anymore

  July 21st, 2018 by findbrit

I’m in and out of jobs my family and friends have tried to help but because I’ve made no change they’ve created a disstance and treat me with more anger,but still say they love me. I can’t do it, everyone in the world does it ,, why can’t I? I’ve dropped out of school 30000$ + in debt at 21, with really bad credit and absolutely no money… I try and believe things will get better, but even the bad little things that happen daily trigger me. I don’t want to do this anymore, why did I think life was going to be great and …

12

not my story.

  July 21st, 2018 by freeroma

2

The Solipsist

  July 21st, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Introduction

Here’s a poem I made on Facebook on June 1st, when I really needed to vent. :p
(It’s a bit dark and sadomasochistic, instead of just plain masochistic, I hope that’s okay…)

Not that anyone gives a shit, most people just ghost me…

People usually ignore me or hate me, I’m not sure if anyone is at fault when people leave me or don’t want to talk to me and I’m not sure if I should even care…

I just want to be myself… people are too different from me…

I might make a full post about myself later, but right now …

1

All alone in silent R’lyeh

  July 21st, 2018 by rivets

It seems there is an entire genre of weirdly happy-sounding Cthulhu music. I can’t fault them for being happy when singing about the subject. Fits my Lovecraftian streak right now and thought I’d share. Let’s all send some positive vibes to Cthulhu. <3

3

Out of Gas

  July 21st, 2018 by Gary

There are days that id just like to pull the plug. In my eyes I see no good in this world. In my mind I feel no good. In my mind I hate myself. In my mind I’m fucked. Off please. I hate this. In my mind it is torment.

9

  July 21st, 2018 by visual eyes