I could be happy if I was in better circumstances

-living in a better apt/city/state/country.
-had enough money to never have to worry. Money = freedom
-if I had a purpose and knew what my purpose was
-if I found my “soul mate” and we’re having a great life together
-if my health improves

That’s basically the 4 things everyone needs in life to be happy:
-money
-purpose
-love
-health

Missing any of that and you’ll be depressed.

Everyone here is missing one of those things.

I am sad, upset and I can’t find a cure…

Exactly.

All these idiots yelling and screaming “it’s all about hard work and intelligence” are full of it, and refuses to admit the Advantage that they have. Especially the middle class income people when the poor gripe about the unfair advantage the middle class has.

Yet, Nonetheless, you will always hear “well I made it all on my own” from the mouths of upper middle class kids/adults.
Sure, you “Made it on your own.” If your mommy and daddy were poor, you sure wouldn’t be where you are now. NO ONE will admit this. It’s always “well I worked hard!!”

The average person thinks that
1- being rich makes you happy
2- being pretty makes you happy
3- being pretty gives you a great life
4- very successful ppl are happy and living great lives

No it does not. In Fact, most of these people are very unhappy on the inside.

Why? Bc of vultures, bc of users and narcissists, and psychopaths and sociopaths. And plain old jealous mfers.

Take a look at people like Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Amanda Bynes, Justin Bieber, Whitney Houston, etc.

And no, it is not just, “the industry. “

Beautiful and talented people tend to get used and manipulated and taken […]

How would you be, how would your life look like if other people didn’t damage it? Where would you be now?

Just deep depression.
stuck in a deep rut

There is no joy, no fun, not even a little bit.

There is no drive- how can one have drive in a system designed to keep you down?

Being born poor is like being handed a canoe with a giant hole in the middle, sinking, with NO oars.

I actually managed to get to “land” despite all that. only to get knocked off into the ocean again. This time without even a broken canoe.

Just me, no canoe, no oars, no life vest, and no one there to throw me one of those floaty donut things.

I’m […]

There are so many ppl living terrible lives, with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, living in poverty or near poverty. 61-67% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and 50% do not have a $500 emergency savings.

Yet idiots are out there popping out tons of children. If you can’t even afford to give yourself a good life, how can you be out there popping out so many children?

Is that not negligence and child abuse to bring human beings into the world that you cannot adequately take care of- financially, physically and emotionally?

Does it make any sense to have children when you only see them […]

My suicidal struggles…
…personal accountability vs protecting others from my pathos (by hiding it, or minimizing it)
…reaching out for encouragement and hope vs knowing I am incapable of actually sustaining it.
…wanting my life to have a positive impact vs suicide negating any such positive impact.
…confiding in a friend/family member so that I feel connected vs deeply hurting that friend or family member when/if I remove life from my body.

Professional help is more than an oxymoron it dangerous and unaccountable pseudoscience. Unconventional thought is not synonymous with crazy, nor is it criminal.

Ah, but if I were crazy, then my crime, my offense, […]

Someone I care about keeps asking me how I am. What do I say when each answer is both truth and lie: great/terrible, strong/weak, hopeful/hopeless, faithful/fearful, solid/vapor? It is not my intention to be conflicted or confusing or mutable.

Yes, I am okay.
No, I am not okay.
Yes, I want to live and make a difference.
No, I want to this ineffectual life to be over.

I’m like a bunch of well used marbles. Some have retained their sparkle, while many are badly scuffed or chipped, ill suited for their original purpose. So pick a marble, any one, and what you see is the truth, […]

Love me some Lemon Demon. Of Course my dear friend Neil is only taking after a long line of alternative singers in being very sardonic in his approach to human relationships. He was influenced of course by the great Logan Whitehurst and They Might be Giants. My wife and I did actually go out for Valentines day last night and what music do you suppose came up while we were coming to and from the restaurant? Several of my more morbid picks;

Also, speaking of boozing, do you know what I had with my dinner? Second one I’ve had in two weeks, an old fashioned. I’m […]

Would you rather find your true soulmate tomorrow or win $10M tomorrow?

Lol at the results :p
But also me: Yes

I suppose the difference would be less dramatic if it was 1M instead of 10M but probably not by too much.

http://youtube.com/post/UgkxlcHn5iZT4Ma5_9up0Z4UnYng7YeRsin3?si=4mg2b10UpSx2TGwR

——-
Watching this right now lol
The Worst Valentine’s Day Deaths Ever

https://youtu.be/Ov2jDds-EQg?si=BuIa5wcAJ6F317Cr

You have a button that allows you to rewind life 5s (no you cannot stack).

What do you do with it? Get creative lol :p

Would you rather have:

10 amazing years and die
OR
Have the rest of your natural life but depressed/suicidal (I am assuming most people here have 20-50 more years)

Do you know how this world (everything) is supposed to be?

The final nail in the coffin has been set. My advisor said there was no funds. Getting grant money was especially hard this year. I knew it was coming. I’ve been saying it’s been coming. But it still hurts. That last thread of hope has finally snapped. I will never go back to WPI. On top of that work today was just miserable. One shitty thing after another. Went by fast though. I guess that’s something.

Now I’ve really set my sights on studying abroad. Trying to get into a PhD program […]

Ever notice how the news media “normally does not report on suicide cases unless there is a significant Public Issue” but the minute there’s a pretty young blonde girl who kills herself, especially if they can dig up photos of her cleavage, all the news outlets scramble to put her on the front page?

If you’re curious, just go to google news and type in suicide.

It’s so disgustingly hypocritical and shamelessly exploitive that it makes me want to jump off a flagpole. But I’m neither a girl nor blonde nor sporting cleavage so they’d just hose me off the pavement and carry on.

They say when you’re about to kill yourself you don’t say anything to anyone. I haven’t realized how close I’ve been for the last few weeks until i talked to my therapist. I’ve been so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed. Everything has seemed so hard. I’m constantly sick and my head is exploding. Living is getting harder and harder but i get up, take a shower and go to work. Smile and hang out with my friends, make my clients feel beautiful and then i go home and think of all the ways it would be better if I wasn’t alive.

When my therapist […]

Well, that crazy mf was right after all. Who knew that the crazy Pizzagate story was ACTUALLY TRUE? That this world is run by a cabal of corrupt pedophiles? The Epstein emails actually had tons of references to pizza and grape soda, wtf and smfh.

Every big name was part of Epstein’s circle- from Prince Andrew to Bush, to Bush jr, to Clinton, to Trump, to Bill Gates, to heads of states, to many world leaders, etc. Almost every big name person you can think of- all part of it. Melania Trump included. And Erika Kirk is also tied to […]

Heh- Didn’t even realize today was Friday the 13th. I have chronic bad luck so I suppose it’s “Friday the 13th” for me every day.

Anyone else have unnaturally bad luck in life?

@heartless- Today seems like your kind of day since you love horror flicks. You should go watch a classic tonight :p

I just feel like nothing matters anymore.