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1

Another Chapter in the Book

  October 16th, 2018 by Mordred

Another phase is over. And my time is coming to an end.

Tomorrow I leave home. I don’t know where I am going. I have no destination. I have too much stuff for the road.

I’m leaving behind dead bodies.

God bless those that live, those that suffer on my account, and those that will suffer because I will be gone. I pray they find a way. I cannot protect them. I cannot protect anyone, because my name is synonymous with betrayal. I am Mordred.

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5

  October 16th, 2018 by freeroma

Benefits are not paid for any loss directly or indirectly caused by;
Physical or mental illness or its treatment
An intentionally self inflicted injury
Suicide or any attempted suicide, whether you are sane or insane

Its that last that peaked my interest most. There’s a suicide clause for basic coverage (have to have it 2 years beforehand for a payout) but accidental death/dismemberment is different, examples of the above.
But sane or insane.. seems to acknowledge that it can be a rational decision made calmly.

Insurance is weird.

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1

.

  October 16th, 2018 by thehusk

Can’t let go. Can’t get to where I need to be. I’m such a waste of life. Just lying here, torn between competing impulses. There’s no way that life could ever be enough to make it worthwhile. And yet, I can’t bring myself to give up. To let go of the impossible dream. It is surely within my capability to end this. I have resources, I have freedom, I have time, I have the beginnings of a plan. I’m sure I could get my hands on the necessary equipment if I set my mind to it. So why aren’t I doing so? Because I can’t …

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1

Until your dead

  October 16th, 2018 by thelonergirl123

Why is it when you suddenly die, everyone is like oh “she was so loved” or “I’m going to miss her”.   Am I the only one thinking you’ll miss throwing stuff at her and posting on the hate page you created about her. I guess once you die people just love to hear “I’m so sorry for your loss” and get attention off of your death at least that’s what they’re doing with hers.

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2

life

  October 15th, 2018 by whitefurmouse

so why die?
everything will be feeding off your lifeless body, until you are bones, and then they decompose.
wait, doesn’t that already happen when you are still alive? everyone just feeds off you (leeches), manipulates, deceives, lies…? until you are broken and nothing
but in death you just can’t feel it.
you are nothing.
NOTHING.
sorry.

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3

Mice awareness group

  October 15th, 2018 by whitefurmouse

(file not found)

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2

  October 15th, 2018 by ANONFORWOOD

i chose to be  drunk over high, I drink right now, i really don’t want to deal with my problems which will only worsen my situation, i hate word ‘alcohollism’ i try not to think about that what if I’m just useless  alcoholic, but it really helps to not think about things I don’t want to and entire life is so fucked up, only sometime i imagine being happy with someone who’ll be with me but truth is no one on this Earth wants to be with me, i guess I’m lonely, useless, disappointing, hurting, mean, etc human being, i often want to post here …

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3

another quick rant on “suicide prevention” posts

  October 15th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

If you are  a member of Suicide Project, you might encounter very obscure groups known as “suicide prevention” groups. They might seem utterly harmelss, but they are sole reasons why Doctors aren’t liable to grant euthanasia, and thus have a vivio-centric view .

If you get a sniff in the nose and smell a rat, you are dead on. These groups are a trend going back to the 1960’s, They have existed under our noses all along and pop up for another profiteering market gobally. These groups are NOT driven by individuals wanting to have you having a happier life, they are there for another motive, …

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0

The best way to apologize for my existence is to not exist

  October 15th, 2018 by trn92

Cant help but feel this guilt. I feel guilt for just existing, for people showing appreciation towards me and feeling that i dont deserve it and dont have anything valuable to give back. I feel guilty for not really wanting to get better. I just realized i dont have much hope, i think others even in their most depressive states want to get out of that feeling. I cant even find the motivation for that, kinda got used to not caring, but then i feel guilty for not caring for the people who seem to care about me. cant escape it

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8

  October 15th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

There are no real people anymore. They just play a predetermined role.

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0

I hurt too much to cry

  October 15th, 2018 by Mimo

I’m unsure as to what to feel.

Whether that’d be to cry or to hold my chest in shear pain.

I lay in bed and hurt, as my memories flood in and take over.

You said you wouldn’t know if you’d move on, now simple days like these have me imagining what you’d do with that other person.

You said that no, it wasn’t my fault, that you were the one needed fixing.

Then why can’t you wait, why are you telling me not go wait for you.

I feel as if every time I love they become painful memories I live with, but what’s to life without love?

I don’t know …

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7

today

  October 15th, 2018 by miszion

I applied for my firearms license today.

I’ve now cried three times over my own ugliness today.

It’s going on 4 PM and I haven’t eaten yet today.

I don’t plan on eating today.

I researched suicide methods for the first time in a long time today.

Today is a bad day.

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6

Last meal revised

  October 15th, 2018 by jr.

Some time ago i said i will have popeyes as my last meal before i off myself; i change my mind.

Im going to have a lobster, a lobster tail, a steak, some ice wine and smoke a very expensive cigar.

I think that will be better 🙂

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23

  October 15th, 2018 by spookichick

hi,

my name is pam, and i am back from the dead. i attempted suicide a little while ago, and i was revived

by the paramedics, and was in hospital to recover. i really shouldn’t be here, but apparently it was a miracle that i survived.

i am home now, and i am ok.

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4

on the edge

  October 15th, 2018 by miszion

I’m really not quite sure how much longer I can hold on. The angry and suicidal thoughts have completely taken over these last few months. This morning was the worst it’s been. I cried for thirty minutes about how ugly I am, trashing my room by throwing clothes everywhere because I feel disgusting in everything I own. I wanted to take my mirror and smash it until the entire thing was just sharp, shiny dust covering the floor, my bed, and myself. Even now, several hours later at work, I’m avoiding every mirror (which is hard to do, since I’m a tailor and there’s more …

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2

H

  October 15th, 2018 by morado123

I didn’t speak a lot today. I don’t think I conversed with more than three people.

The loneliness and the lack of communication combined with stressful situations are making me feel more numb everyday.

It’s like… the more tired you feel, the more stiff you become.

I just wish I can end my life as easy as it is for me to breathe.

The reason is death, in essence, is quite the same thing as breathing.

Both has something to do with life; the only difference being whether you’re erasing or keeping it.

If it weren’t for my mother…. I can’t bear the thought of leaving her when she raised me …

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3

F this life!!!

  October 15th, 2018 by dancingwithdeath

I’m just a piece of shit. I feel so empty everyday. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others but if everyone else around you is achiever, how can you not feel depressed and useless. I really hate the person I have become!!! I have too many regrets in life, the biggest is not offing myself earlier which allowed myself to continue creating more regrets 🙁

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41

The missing Zzz

  October 15th, 2018 by Atintofgreen

Anyone awake?

I can’t sleep.

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2

12:51am

  October 15th, 2018 by cohw77

its late, and nothing bad happened today, and im thinking about how im going to kill myself.

im not even crying anymore, just thinking. weighing the options. what method will leave my body a mangled corpse versus a peaceful one, where i should go to make sure its not my brother who finds me, what ways will have the best likelihood of successfully ending my life and where i would be able to get the supplies for those methods.

im not looking for advice, it’s just strange and lonely to feel so clinical about something that should probably make me upset. it doesnt anymore.

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3

  October 14th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

I’m sure that even after l die it won’t be much better than this life.
My life is boring, l wish l had more adventurous life.

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