For general topics related to the site.
I’m not going to go into what made me decide to go, or all the reasons why I should want to stay (and there is a lot to say about both) but simply want to explain what happened.
I drove for several hours to reach a secluded place with a nice, tall cliff (won’t say where). I then sat on the edge of that cliff for hours and even fell asleep (yes I fell asleep sitting on the edge of a cliff and didn’t fall). The view from the cliff was amazing and it was so quiet. The only sound was the occasional wind whipping around the rocks. It would have been a very peaceful exit.
Finally, I drove back and am not pleased with myself. I have plenty of reasons to be happy, despite something very stressful and painful recently happening, but I’m just so tired of living. I could go back, but fear I will just fail again.