I’m better off gone

  October 16th, 2018 by whitefurmouse

Ok just great my ex told me a bunch of stuff yesterday about his new girl, seems to be going alright, I’ve even helped him with this girl…
This in itself is enough reason to die within a few months.
It might work out.
There’s no hope for me, my only hope is if they break up, which I doubt. (He said if it doesn’t work out with her he’ll come back to me. Yeah I realize that I’m a backup plan. I don’t care I just need him in my life).
Anyway I hope I’ll be gone within a few months. No more suffering. No more thinking …

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  October 16th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

They fuck with my mind. No water even if l need it badly. I wanna leave and find people who understand me , l dont know where they are.

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Lie

  October 16th, 2018 by Lie

So you see all the flaws in me.

But never check what you are lacking for.

Never see how much I try to make u smile.

Your reputation in front of those cheap fluzez mattered. But what piss me off doesn’t matter.

You cant see me at the same platform where u once received love from a stranger but never realized I was always their  to offer myself.

U search happiness in them. Love in them.

You never thought I am even worth your attention or a try.

Since the beginning you had improvement points for me.

You sit quitely next to me. And always i will plead u to love me. But …

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Everyday it is getting worse… IDK how much more can I take..

  October 16th, 2018 by PatheticMale

Im posting here pretty much everyday now – its the only thing that gives me relief along with listening to suicidal underground rap music. I know I need to be here for my mom and my sisters but its so hard. Why is life so fking hard? Its not hard for me  in the outside world but in my mind I feel like Im going crazy. I dont even enjoy anything, I have no goals or plans for the future, everything seems meaningless. Every minute I just suffer. I at least used to enjoy smoking weed and playing video games but now I dont  anymore.

I …

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depression is breathing. it keeps shorten in the air from the lung the more activities you follow, share with other people and keep stuck in you. like a parasite in the mind it nourish like being in a deep sleep. the deprivation is opening eyes for the missing love in anything around one that’d turn blind if you get kissed again like it had been once and always as gentle kick of trust.

  October 16th, 2018 by Yikrens

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Another Chapter in the Book

  October 16th, 2018 by Mordred

Another phase is over. And my time is coming to an end.

Tomorrow I leave home. I don’t know where I am going. I have no destination. I have too much stuff for the road.

I’m leaving behind dead bodies.

God bless those that live, those that suffer on my account, and those that will suffer because I will be gone. I pray they find a way. I cannot protect them. I cannot protect anyone, because my name is synonymous with betrayal. I am Mordred.

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  October 16th, 2018 by freeroma

Benefits are not paid for any loss directly or indirectly caused by;
Physical or mental illness or its treatment
An intentionally self inflicted injury
Suicide or any attempted suicide, whether you are sane or insane

Its that last that peaked my interest most. There’s a suicide clause for basic coverage (have to have it 2 years beforehand for a payout) but accidental death/dismemberment is different, examples of the above.
But sane or insane.. seems to acknowledge that it can be a rational decision made calmly.

Insurance is weird.

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.

  October 16th, 2018 by thehusk

Can’t let go. Can’t get to where I need to be. I’m such a waste of life. Just lying here, torn between competing impulses. There’s no way that life could ever be enough to make it worthwhile. And yet, I can’t bring myself to give up. To let go of the impossible dream. It is surely within my capability to end this. I have resources, I have freedom, I have time, I have the beginnings of a plan. I’m sure I could get my hands on the necessary equipment if I set my mind to it. So why aren’t I doing so? Because I can’t …

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life

  October 15th, 2018 by whitefurmouse

so why die?
everything will be feeding off your lifeless body, until you are bones, and then they decompose.
wait, doesn’t that already happen when you are still alive? everyone just feeds off you (leeches), manipulates, deceives, lies…? until you are broken and nothing
but in death you just can’t feel it.
you are nothing.
NOTHING.
sorry.

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Mice awareness group

  October 15th, 2018 by whitefurmouse

(file not found)

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  October 15th, 2018 by ANONFORWOOD

i chose to be  drunk over high, I drink right now, i really don’t want to deal with my problems which will only worsen my situation, i hate word ‘alcohollism’ i try not to think about that what if I’m just useless  alcoholic, but it really helps to not think about things I don’t want to and entire life is so fucked up, only sometime i imagine being happy with someone who’ll be with me but truth is no one on this Earth wants to be with me, i guess I’m lonely, useless, disappointing, hurting, mean, etc human being, i often want to post here …

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another quick rant on “suicide prevention” posts

  October 15th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

If you are  a member of Suicide Project, you might encounter very obscure groups known as “suicide prevention” groups. They might seem utterly harmelss, but they are sole reasons why Doctors aren’t liable to grant euthanasia, and thus have a vivio-centric view .

If you get a sniff in the nose and smell a rat, you are dead on. These groups are a trend going back to the 1960’s, They have existed under our noses all along and pop up for another profiteering market gobally. These groups are NOT driven by individuals wanting to have you having a happier life, they are there for another motive, …

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The best way to apologize for my existence is to not exist

  October 15th, 2018 by trn92

Cant help but feel this guilt. I feel guilt for just existing, for people showing appreciation towards me and feeling that i dont deserve it and dont have anything valuable to give back. I feel guilty for not really wanting to get better. I just realized i dont have much hope, i think others even in their most depressive states want to get out of that feeling. I cant even find the motivation for that, kinda got used to not caring, but then i feel guilty for not caring for the people who seem to care about me. cant escape it

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  October 15th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

There are no real people anymore. They just play a predetermined role.

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today

  October 15th, 2018 by miszion

I applied for my firearms license today.

I’ve now cried three times over my own ugliness today.

It’s going on 4 PM and I haven’t eaten yet today.

I don’t plan on eating today.

I researched suicide methods for the first time in a long time today.

Today is a bad day.

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Last meal revised

  October 15th, 2018 by jr.

Some time ago i said i will have popeyes as my last meal before i off myself; i change my mind.

Im going to have a lobster, a lobster tail, a steak, some ice wine and smoke a very expensive cigar.

I think that will be better 🙂

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  October 15th, 2018 by spookichick

hi,

my name is pam, and i am back from the dead. i attempted suicide a little while ago, and i was revived

by the paramedics, and was in hospital to recover. i really shouldn’t be here, but apparently it was a miracle that i survived.

i am home now, and i am ok.

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on the edge

  October 15th, 2018 by miszion

I’m really not quite sure how much longer I can hold on. The angry and suicidal thoughts have completely taken over these last few months. This morning was the worst it’s been. I cried for thirty minutes about how ugly I am, trashing my room by throwing clothes everywhere because I feel disgusting in everything I own. I wanted to take my mirror and smash it until the entire thing was just sharp, shiny dust covering the floor, my bed, and myself. Even now, several hours later at work, I’m avoiding every mirror (which is hard to do, since I’m a tailor and there’s more …

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H

  October 15th, 2018 by morado123

I didn’t speak a lot today. I don’t think I conversed with more than three people.

The loneliness and the lack of communication combined with stressful situations are making me feel more numb everyday.

It’s like… the more tired you feel, the more stiff you become.

I just wish I can end my life as easy as it is for me to breathe.

The reason is death, in essence, is quite the same thing as breathing.

Both has something to do with life; the only difference being whether you’re erasing or keeping it.

If it weren’t for my mother…. I can’t bear the thought of leaving her when she raised me …

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