General

For general topics related to the site.

1

Full of Regret

  July 17th, 2018 by bigrod369

What makes this ironic is that I have a huge tattoo on my arm that says “never regret”.

I just feel so guilty and stupid. I was just reading old conversations on my email with my dad and I now see how he was trying to help me so bad and I was just plain stupid, acting like I didnt give a fuck.

 

 

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3

It’s almost funny

  July 17th, 2018 by annon111

how you can love someone else so much more than yourself. Because they don’t have your problems, they always know what to do, they’re perfect.

Their pain is your pain except it hurts so much more. Feeling helpless, wishing you could take their pain for them, because they don’t deserve it, but you do.

It’s almost funny how someone so familiar to feeling down doesn’t know how to help someone else when they feel sad.

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2

How many read quietly?

  July 17th, 2018 by annon111

This isn’t really suicide related sorry I’m just feeling curious.

 

Do you ever wonder how many people there are that don’t have an account or never say anything but come here to read and feel less alone?

Is it like 5x the number of people who say stuff? 10 times? What do you think? Again sorry I’m just wondering.

And if you are one of those people, hi. Yes i’m talking about u. <3

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7

Inside Job

  July 16th, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

Looking more each day that my arrest was an inside job

I haven’t felt alive in 2 years

Goal accomplished… if the goal was to murder me

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3

Mine

  July 16th, 2018 by anonymous10284

at the age of 13 i got on my knees

i obeyed the voices of my peers

that if i put out guys would notice me

i gave away a thing that shouldve meant something to me

the first girl in the group to lose her virginity

at the age of 14 i let in a boy

who only really saw me as a toy

he opened my legs and hushed my mouth

in a relationship with an older guy

i couldnt find my way out

my body wasnt mine

my face pressed up against stone cold hearts and hairy male thighs

unwanted tongues shoved down my throat

and tears in my eyes

lips pressed against mine

and i said …

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3

tired

  July 16th, 2018 by Zigzag

I wish this emptiness would stop coming back.

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5

Agent Nem*utal

  July 16th, 2018 by wtfttg

Read about this on peaceful pill.  Anyone else considering using this?  Seems most of the major decisions I make in life are wrong. Fuck my life up, pick up the pieces, fuck it up again, pick up the remaining pieces. Not many pieces left to pick up, I’m almost out of chances, not sure a happy life is possible with all my bad decisions.  Didn’t know how close to the ledge I was until I found myself there.  It’s not a good place.

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10

Placeless

  July 16th, 2018 by EmptyPluto

Nowhere to go.

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1

Terminated but alive

  July 16th, 2018 by Urm8451n

With every single step I take forward, I receive a hit.  –  Am I doing it wrong?

Those questions of uncertainty flow down my throat, among my tears.   –  Why didn’t I see it coming?  Maybe I should’ve known?  Did I let my self down?  Haven’t I tried good enough? –

I feel empty like a bucket with a hole.  Even when I just feel, when I feel that I have something in me!  It turns out to be like a sack full of stones…. They are useless.  My skills are useless.

The encounters I have with life, requires way more than just stones in a sack.

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5

Baggage (too late to turn around) etc

  July 16th, 2018 by AgentQ

That’s one of my biggest issues: baggage. It may be possible to turn my life around but it’s like i can’t even begin to think about it.

The past 10+ years of my life weigh so heavily on me. My failure, regret….shame. It all crushes me. It makes me want to tear myself apart. Cut myself, and be left to bleed dry.

When i was younger i had that unyielding motivation. Like no matter how bad things got they would always work themselves out. Of course right?

Then you get older and see more  of the world up close and you realize that yeah, it actually doesn’t have …

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0

Weather

  July 16th, 2018 by LordsWrath

So the weather has been great for over 2 months now in the UK. Its made me happier. I’m doing more with my life and enjoying it more. I’m free from depression. My mind is not clouded and my attitude optimistic. Overall I’m happy.

However, in this state of clarity and freedom, I still want to die. If I ever kill myself, it will not be when I’m depressed, fragile, weak, down and out, when my life’s falling apart. No, it will be when I’m strong, happy, joyful and have no reason in my life to kill myself. Because the problem lies within, in my …

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4

I am a complete fuckup

  July 16th, 2018 by exitseeker

I crave exit from this world. Time and time again, I have fucked up in huge ways, and I need to pull the plug.

After a drug induced bout of psychosis years ago, I had to leave school.

My bipolar disorder has hospitalized me numerous times.

My drug use has alienated most of my family and friends. In total, maybe two people in the world love me.

My poor decisions have left me with no job, little hope of getting a new one, no insurance, limited funds, and serious health problems that will seriously fuck me up and make me even more miserable if left untreated.

I would get a …

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2

slit my wrists

  July 16th, 2018 by theone.99

hello, I want to end it tonight. i’ve reached the peak and mentally im already there. today they really pushed me off the edge… i just need a little more push… ive stared at my wrists for two hours in the bathroom very aware and in peace with my decisions. I just need a little little bit more. for the record i’m a saudi women so i think you all agree living isn’t much different from being dead. please i need encouragement just a little bit please… or help… i dont know what i want just something

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0

The hardest dreams are the ones where I’m happy.

  July 16th, 2018 by Mothlike

The doors open, and I move to the corner of the train car. She enters as I turn to face the door, and she is happy to see me. She moves close, and I tell her that I love her. She smiles. I remember that smile.

Later, I describe how that smile will change. I point to a blank space, and I describe the moment where that uncomplicated joy will fade to realization, and a quiet kind of pain. Even here, I understand that this can’t last, why it shouldn’t begin.

Then I wake up. Again.

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0

Brian Eno – By This River

  July 16th, 2018 by Taf Taf

 

Here we are

Stuck by this river,

You and I

Underneath a sky that’s ever falling down, down, down

Ever falling down

Through the day

As if on an ocean

Waiting here,

Always failing to remember why we came, came, came:

I wonder why we came

You talk to me

as if from a distance

And I reply

With impressions chosen from another time, time, time,

From another time

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1

Bipolar Depression is killing me

  July 16th, 2018 by iwillloveyoutilltheend

I’m happy, I’m supposed to be. With my achievements and what I have in this moment of my life. I have a Master of Science degree in Accounting, I’m a CPA, soon to be CFE. I work as an auditor and make top 13 % of Americans my age. I have a boyfriend that loves me very much and tries his best to take care of me. But I’m just so depressed. I don’t want to live off drugs (doesn’t matter if it’s prescription or not) for the rest of my life. This pain in my brain is so heavy and sharp. And it lasts forever …

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0

same old song

  July 16th, 2018 by cohw77

im new here, but only in posting. i have viewed this site more times than i can count when i have been feeling particularly badly, and today is just the day that i broke enough to make an account myself.

i am away from home at school this month, and i feel like im drowning. i was excited to come here because its a prestigious art school and it would give me an opportunity to learn over the summer and get college credits, and – i hoped – get away from the way i feel in my hometown. unfortunately, nothing has changed. i am still disliked …

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3

Please don’t leave me alone

  July 16th, 2018 by MissDysphoria

I feel like my friends don’t hang out with me like they use to, and I just need to not be alone right now….I just want to cry cuz it feels so shitty

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3

My first time here. I’m very Suicidal tonight. I have plans to do it.

  July 16th, 2018 by aussiemike

I joined here for first time.
Help. I’m very Suicidal tonight. I have plans to do it Some time from tonight to this week.

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3

My brain is annoying.

  July 16th, 2018 by annon111

When I get those 30 minute periods once every two weeks or so where I feel normal, it feels so exhilarating just not to feel bad. “Why not end on a high note?”, my brain whispers to me.

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