Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

by Amber98Charlotte 9/22/2023

written by Amber98Charlotte

I didn’t realize how deep a mother wound can go – every day it is becoming even more suffocating. It’s like you need some gas to stay alive and instead of oxygen, someone has veen making you inhale something poisonous and you breath it in and it keeps you alive.

Yes, I guess in the recent past, this fear has terribly set in, almost hauntingly that I will eventually end up being alive; that life will not stop abruptly even though I have now mastered the art of living day to day. No amount of hurt, anxiety, some low point is enough to kill me. It’s […]

9/22/2023 0 comment

There is no meaning of life

by niki 9/15/2023

written by niki

There is no meaning of life. We just exist, and die. And life goes on, and on, and on. For million, billion of years, etc etc etc.

We are just a speck of dust in the vast universe, in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, 90% (or 99%?) of people (human beings) will always try to find or give ‘meaning/purpose’ in their own insignificant lives, because the reason is simple: it’s survival instinct. Human beings (people) will (usually) try to keep living, keep surviving, no matter what. It’s evolutionary. It’s in human nature.
Even if it means people (humans) will create anything as their toxic positivity […]

9/15/2023 5 comments

Little brothers…

by Virus.Found 7/7/2023

written by Virus.Found

Dear little brother, you are so annoying sometimes. I know, that’s kinda your job. But we’re adults (sorta).

He’s that kind of person who just complaints about everything I do! I’m just going about my day and he nit-picks ‘quirks’ and turns them into something ugly. “Why do you do that?” <- basically this, all the freaking time

I have clouds over my head enough as it is and you’re adding towards an comfortable space that I have build, with just misery.

Tough to admit, that I hate that trait about you. Maybe with happiness comes a different view on life for ya.

7/7/2023 0 comment

He left again, probably for good

by angelskindoll 5/31/2023

written by angelskindoll

The one person i’ve ever felt remotely comfortable and able to speak to left me again, I don’t understand why, it’s been a month so far. I managed to work through some feelings and sent him a letter. He told me not to contact him and I wont anymore but I deserve better than how he left me. Maybe. Idk it doesn’t matter cus I did it, now i’m fully alone, he’s almost certainly not going to read it.

i’m never going to get the satisfaction of everything finally ‘clicking’ for him, for him to realise he’s fully capable of working things out with […]

5/31/2023 0 comment

Counting Coins

by Virus.Found 5/6/2023

written by Virus.Found

When the pennies are so hard, that they’re crushing you…

I got a whiff of what owning some money feels like and it lessened my depression, because I went out more, to explore and buy a little something for myself. I still wear clothes from when I was 15 years old. (I just turned 25) Social contacts go up as well. A lady from eBay came by my home to drop off a Blu-Ray Player ’cause mine broke, she was nice.

Now my Mom’s going to be in a tough spot money wise and I’m afraid my money will go to the usual survival shit again. I’m […]

5/6/2023 1 comment

End date

by Braindamage 5/1/2023

written by Braindamage

I’ve decided on an end date for myself. August 31st. This is the date of the next Blue Moon. Of course the stargazing conditions have to be perfect. Im not sure why I chose this. Maybe its because I want to go out on a beautiful night. I know this time I can’t back out. I won’t. I’m so tired. I love my mom and sister and the one friend I have but I can’t do this anymore. Perhaps I may find a reason to stay by the time the Blue Moon comes around but I highly doubt it. I am trying to keep my […]

5/1/2023 17 comments

Update on My Thoughts

by usyra 4/8/2023

written by usyra

I’ve made a lot of progress so far but I still have a long way to go. Although I won’t think of taking any drastic steps anymore, I sometimes still find myself looking in that direction sometimes. I fear that my drastic step will cause a chain reaction, bringing more shame to my mom than ever. My brother will blame himself and might do something to himself. My mom has already tried attempting suicide decades ago. With me and my brother hypothetically gone, my mom might think she doesn’t have a purpose to be in this world anymore. So it feels like there is a […]

4/8/2023 0 comment

Daughter

by oldscull 4/7/2023

written by oldscull

My dearest Daughter,

I’m sorry for the tragedies in the past several years, many of them my fault.

Below is a list of my sorries:

I’m sorry that I fought with your mom all those years.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to keep brother alive.
I’m sorry for having depression and anxiety and not being a father to you.
I’m sorry for embarrassing you in public with my anxiety/panics.
I’m sorry for making others around you in public feel awkward because I have crooked eyes, high-pitched voice and other unattractive attributes.
I’m sorry for being the black sheep of my family.
I’m sorry that you had to see how law enforcement treats/abuses me.
I’m […]

4/7/2023 24 comments

Waiting like a dog

by Virus.Found 3/14/2023

written by Virus.Found

Super lonely today.. guess I’ll turn off my phone for the day, since nobody has been wanting to talk lately… Gonna blast my mind with the new Sims 4 update. I should give everyone hugs in there 😀 I hope it’ll stop all the ache.

-from the one, who had to go off their meds again

3/14/2023 1 comment

Acceptance of an untimely death

by Melon_Lord 3/10/2023

written by Melon_Lord

I feel like at this point, I’m starting to accept that whatever is going on with me probably won’t ever go away.
No matter how much I wish it would or how much I plead for happiness, or beg for something, anything better, It’s not going anywhere.

A couple years back in my freshman year of high school my mother believed I was suicidal, but I don’t think that was the case.
I don’t think I’ve ever really been suicidal, but I do fantasize about death.
If I were to die, would it matter? It’s only another part of life, and the world keeps […]

3/10/2023 0 comment

LOVE CONSUMES US

by butto_love 3/5/2023

written by butto_love

There was a tale about a boy and a girl. They were both close friends who became closer over time. She was not interested in love or any type of meaningful relationship since she was not interested in these things. But, that guy was a sweet, compassionate, and overall wonderful person who professed his emotions for her over the phone.

She had no idea what he was up to since she considered him as a friend-zoned individual. Yet her feelings began to grow and she was in a steady and matured state. They began conversing and got to know one another better and better. Their love […]

3/5/2023 1 comment

My Story

by ceramicboy 2/16/2023

written by ceramicboy

I am a 22-year-old male. I grew up in an abusive house and was never shown what love really was. I did everything I could to stay away from home but was always pulled back by the threats. My dad said he would hurt my mom, my mom said she would hurt herself. Everything was put on me. I had to hold my entire family together while I was already falling apart. When I was eight years old I went walking down the street to my friend’s house (just a few houses down, not like my parents cared anyway) and the cop that lived across […]

2/16/2023 4 comments

Collecting Dust

by Melon_Lord 2/7/2023

written by Melon_Lord

It bothers me that nobody really mentions the empty part of depression. I’m talking about the times where there’s not actually anything wrong, nothing is happening but at the same time I feel so depressed it physically hurts my heart.
It’s so silly though. To think that something simple like brushing my teeth or putting on socks seems like such a daunting task. Everything feels so heavy all at once but at the same time, I can’t feel anything.
It’s embarrassing too.
I try keep it under control, but there are times where I’ll go five or more days straight without showering just because […]

2/7/2023 3 comments

i cant really take everything anymore..

by the_other_side 2/6/2023

written by the_other_side

i want it all to end, but i cant. i swore i would help someone with some feelings, but its getting hard to keep mine in check. she does help me, alot, but i cant take it anymore. i feel torn. i need to help her, but i also need to help myself. i wake up and feel a mix of anxiety, depression, and determination. i hate myself, and i want all of these feelings to end. i keep remembering some things that have happened to me…. but then i get a text from her saying “are you okay?” these little things help me; it […]

2/6/2023 3 comments

I’m So Tired

by AlwaysMauli 2/5/2023

written by AlwaysMauli

I guess if i told the people around me that I’m depressed and suicidal, they would say I’m too young to know what that means. I no longer have a backup plan, for the method I dreamed so longingly about found its way to be as torturous as life. Yeah, I’ve done my research.
Things used to be easier when I didn’t have someone to disappoint. And then my stupid ass decided to fall in love, and I basically tell him everything. We’re dating? Fun. Half the time I feel guilty for lying to my parents about him and the other half is spent feeling […]

2/5/2023 5 comments

Why didn’t they treat me like friends

by mialost 2/5/2023

written by mialost

Just started the new school year and most of my friends weren’t treating me like one. They’d say no to hanging out, no to anything they shut down all conversation I tried to make. This went on for the first week and I dumped then all

I feel horrible. I don’t think I did anything that bad to all of them

And it’s not like they were in a bad mood they were friendly and shit to each other

I’ve known them all since like primary..nfjcnxmxmxmxnslssk.

2/5/2023 1 comment

Heavy stones

by Melon_Lord 1/26/2023

written by Melon_Lord

Tomorrow is my seventeenth birthday. Technically it’s in 1 hour, 23 minutes, and 7 seconds.

I should be happy, grateful even.
I don’t really know if I am allowed to be underwhelmed, but that’s the truth.
I feel so selfish for not wanting to celebrate or do much. I’m not trying to, but in reality I’ll just end up ruining it for everybody. My heart is as heavy as stones, and it’s dragging people down with me.
What a bummer, I know.

1/26/2023 3 comments

Fools Paradise

by Melon_Lord 1/25/2023

written by Melon_Lord

I wish the world was prettier than it actually is.
I feel so extinguished and saddened because I wish, I just wish I was in a different universe than this.
One that isn’t filled with so much rage and aggression and anguish and despair and horrible awful miserable devastation and loneliness.
I long for a world that is liberating. A place full of color and beauty, dreamers, adventure, peace, kindness, and simple joy from the sheer kiss of freedom.
A world without the constricting pressure of society and the absurdity of our social network. I wish this world weren’t so judgmental, so hateful, […]

1/25/2023 3 comments

Read this when your sad

by butto_love 1/21/2023

written by butto_love

Let it go. Go ahead. You don’t deserve what’s happening to you but that doesn’t mean you should stop being nice. You can find joy in spreading it to others, and while some may find it fun to bring you down, it slowly destroys their soul. I don’t have anyone to tell my feelings to. Talk with your consciousness. It’s okay, Trust this struggle is part of the process. And trust that as long as you don’t give up and keep pushing forward, no matter how hopeless things seem… you will make it.

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that […]

1/21/2023 0 comment

Dear God

by butto_love 1/21/2023

written by butto_love

I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle dont let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me, please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

I know you’re plan is un, known but until you reveal it to me. PLEASE make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to […]

1/21/2023 0 comment

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