Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

3

One More Step.

July 21st, 2017by kellinandrew

I tell myself, one more step, every day. When I wake up, I think, just one more day. I try to keep my mind on one day, one moment, at a time. Because when I begin to let my mind drift, I start to slowly drift away. Sliding into an uncontrollable downward spiral. I cannot keep living my life through the small window I have allowed myself. I feel as if I am completely alone. My boyfriend, is gone. Our relationship fell apart after I lost our baby due to a miscarriage. My rape case against my father has been dismissed. So, he is on …

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2

So long, my beloved

July 19th, 2017by mranony

I saw my mother died.
I saw every breath she struggling take.
I saw the twitches of her body as she dies.
I felt the warmth slowly leaving her body.
I saw my family breaking as my mother breaks.

And it was petrifying.

And as she was being embalmed,
I burnt every imperfection in my mind.
The scar on her left chest,
The stretch marks that bare the three of us.
And all the hardships she’s been through
etched in every part of her body.

And it was beautiful.

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13

Ig this is me

July 18th, 2017by firefly11291998

Well this is my hello, might as well be my goodbye. I am a teenage girl. Recently…or maybe not. 6 months ago my mom had a stroke….fell into a coma. Has been in the hospital ever since. Being a already depressed, lonely, alone, suicidal teenager..it was extremely hard on me. I was sent to live with my sister who I was not close to at all. Here no one ever cared abt how I was feeling or if i was down bc there was so much other things to worry about. My mom could not walk, talk, move, eat, and was in a coma for …

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1

I’m here for you

July 18th, 2017by firefly11291998

Hey guys, if you see this and want/need to talk. I’m always open to talk. I really want to make someone(anyone) feel like they are worth it….

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1

Water

Water

July 15th, 2017by SeeSmith

…And oh, poor Atlas,
The world’s a beast of a burden;
You’ve been holding on a long time
And all this longing
And the ships are left to rust;
That’s what the water gave us…
– – “What the Water Gave Me”
– – by Florence + The Machine

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5

What do I do?

July 12th, 2017by Isolated

Okay so usually the depression and anxiety is constant without any particular reason as to why I feel that way. I’m sure you all get that and know what it’s like. However I currently have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it. I have been isolating myself, trying to ignore it but obviously this is only making me feel worse. So please tell me what the right thing is to do. I am already a piece of shit and I don’t fancy the idea of hurting those around me.

They story begins with me and my best friend. Everyone thought we were an …

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9

Birthdays

July 12th, 2017by millionth

It’s my birthday soon but I don’t want it. I don’t want the attention. I don’t want the happiness of everyone around me. I don’t want the confirmation that another year has passed and yet, I am still here. Not by choice or desire, but I am here. And it hurts.

I know everyone will resume their uncaring ways by the end of the day, but the fact that they can become so fakely obsessive with the celebration of life without seeing the painfully evident irony of how they act during the daily times of actual life is laughable. How do they not see? How am …

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1

I really want to die

July 8th, 2017by Demonqueen

… But I’m scared of failure.
Will I be paralysed?
Brain damaged?

Fail and I’ll be watched and not able to reattempt.

………………..

Vent.

I have mental health, undiagnosed… But imo it is severe.

Vent.

I’m almost 26. Literally everybody I’ve met this year thought I was 12.
When I was 15…. Everybody thought I was 10-12.
You get the picture.
I’m paedo bait.
Not everyday you get to legally “bang” a “12” year old.

Lost count of the times middle aged men have tried to prostitute me and continue on to tell me they thought i was 12-14.

Walking home today with my mum and her partner and two men …

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3

Mum Dad are you wondering Why did she kill herself?

July 8th, 2017by beautifulmonster

 

I’m her mum I loved her more than anyone

so where were you when you I had been raped as a kid? Why didn’t you be the mum and help me ? Why did I have to lie and hide to protect your feelings? I was the kid. I was the one mean to be crying. Instead you cried and lost your shit so i protected you. I just needed someone to help me, why did you have to be weak?

Why are you so depressed ? Why were you so sad all those years? What why? Your a mother your meant to be strong. You brought …

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18

My Parents Should Have Never Met suicidal urges are getting stronger

July 6th, 2017by BlueDiamond

Seriously, they hate each other so much that they can’t stand being in the same room together. Me and I know my brother is screwed up from witnessing this bad marriage. They both always put us down. It was always about them showing how they could get us to behave or negging us until they got what they wanted. Control Control Control

My dad is so into himself, and deep down inside I resent my mom. She created this co-dependent relationship. I’m forced to love her because if I don’t then I’m a bad person. Maybe I don’t hate her as person, but she sucks as …

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3

am 11:11

July 5th, 2017by mynameisnight

“you’re ugly. and fat. and disgusting. like the shit of a pig. and no one is gonna love you.
how so silly. why do you think somebody will loves someone as ugly as you, when even your very own mother does not?
you’re such a waste of space and time. you should’ve died when your mother tried to aborted you 26 years ago. why do you have to be born? why do you have to life? you don’t deserve happiness. you don’t deserve to be loved. you’re that one child that was not supposed to have been born. you’re a huge mistake. unwanted, even by people you …

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2

Dear loved ones

July 2nd, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN

Dear loved ones

Yes, it is true. I’m gone. I’ve wanted to leave this world for a very long time. Why now? Why here? Because I’m happy, living a life filled with love and opportunity. Because no matter how long I stay I’ll still want to die. No matter what I do I’ll still be suicidal. I will […]

3

Lost Hope

July 2nd, 2017by bunniekiss17

I’ve lost hope in my life ever turning around again. My mother has been abusive to me for years now and no one ever listens. I’ve been trying to get out of the house for years now. I’ve talked to social workers many times. It never works. I’m not in a good place. I only have about a year and a half left at home but it’s still hard. I don’t know if I can handle living on much longer. The only one who actually messages me to make sure I’m okay is my brother in law who lives two states away. No one else …

4

Is this a reason to stay?

July 1st, 2017by themessenger

Since I was thirteen, I struggle with depression and anxiety. When these problems started, it was not that big, it was just feeling down and sad more than others do. I had suicidal thoughts back then, but it was just the “well it would stop if I killed myself” and I didn’t seriously consider committing.

But with time it has gotten worse and right now I feel so heavy and awful, carrying on with my normal days is really hard and my anxiety is so bad. I see suicide as the option and I have it planned, I just am afraid of the consequences of my …

4

An Apologetic Note to Those Unfortunate Enough to Know Me

June 30th, 2017by AKidWithAName

Well, I’d like to start this out with an apology. I know it’s a little late for this (or, more accurately, far too late), but I assume that it’s probably best for me to apologize all the same.

So, I guess, I’ll start out with you, Mom and Dad. I’d just like to say that I’m super sorry for making your lives miserable. I really wish that I hadn’t come (you know, like be born and stuff) when I did. I know that I kind of ruined a lot of things for you guys and I just want to say that I’m honestly sorry. And, …

7

xx

June 26th, 2017by Folfanda

Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and

1

Horrible Grandmother

June 26th, 2017by Sad Song

Longtime lurker, first time poster. The first few times trying to log in were unsuccessful. Well, I’m fed up, and just thought I could post here. I tried the blue whale game to kill myself, didn’t work.. The curator gave up on me. Anyyyyway…. I just got done listening to my racist, emotionally, verbally abusive grandmother rant about how my sensitivity to gluten is fake… Bullshit. I throw up like crazy and get sick. Fake my ass. I started cutting, and stopped, and started again today.. She treats me like human garbage. My brother is… Different to say the least. She compares him and his behavior …

11

Drama

June 24th, 2017by calisto131

Being back home from college…it brings back bad memories. And Im reminded how toxic my family can be. I ache to get the fuck out of here but that’s not until September. Relapsing hard.

Going back to drugs.

Going back to my ex who dumped me.

Letting myself be mislead by a boy who has a girlfriend.

I’m a horrible person. We all are.

I try to ignore it all and act like it’s whatever. As if I’m going along with everything that’s going on and see where it takes me but…I’m too fuken sensitive for that.

I just want to escape all the drama. End it all.

Realized I measure my …

2

I am Considered a Loser, Yet I am Privileged

June 20th, 2017by BlueDiamond

(Yay, I fixed the internet on my computer. It seems to be connecting well, and is moving faster. I did everything I could such as restoring it to its default, restarting the computer, and even got my dad to check it out. He wasn’t able to fix it. All I had to do was update the security, clear all browsing history, and most of all disable the proxy server. Now, I don’t have wait for long periods for a page to show up, or have to keep reloading the page because it didn’t show up. Hope it stays this way.)

By society’s standards, I am a …

9

How do you guys cope?

June 18th, 2017by Black Holez

So how do you do it? First off, some background. I’ve come to the realization that everything that has transpired in my life for the last 4 years has led me to being down, depressed and unable to socialize and do ordinary day-to-day tasks. I just sulk around the house unable to do anything, thinking about things like how worthless I am, how abandoned and rejected I truly feel. If I do go out and try something new, I’m unable to function and do ordinary tasks, making people view me as some kind of failure or a retard because I make a mistake. It doesn’t …