Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

6

Save me before it’s too late

  April 15th, 2019 by TheSadAngel

I once decided to end my life at March 15. But then some things have turned upside down and I decided to live. But now, a month after that day, I decided to end my life too. Not now, I say, but soon. Soon. What I have in my mind is after my boyfriend and I’s anniversary, May 17. I just want to feel what it’s like to have a one year relationship. I just want to make him feel loved too, even for one last time. But if things goes out of planned, then maybe earlier. I just need to finish this school year, [...]
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2

Truth is..

  April 9th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

..two months into antidepressants and I am feeling so much better. I having a really good and fun time meeting new people and readjusting things I wasn’t comfortable with before. I am planning a trip overseas and I am genuinely EXCITED but….when is the other shoe going to drop?

I still have all of you at the back of my mind. I think of each person who is going through a struggle and posts here hoping someone will notice. I wish you all find the right combination of therapy and medication and get better.

I miss my friend Unknownsoldier. I haven’t heard from him in a while. [...]
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3

Getting It All Out There

  April 7th, 2019 by Mars_42

I think I was 6 or 7 the first time I considered suicide. I really didn’t want to go to swim class–such a stupid, stupid reason to want to die. Nevertheless, I locked myself in my room and considered how to kill myself. I decided on a knife. I wanted to slice myself open. The knives were in the kitchen, though. I put on my swim suite and went to class. But from that day on, death was in the back of my mind. By the age of 10, I was mentally rehearsing my suicide note nightly and crying myself to sleep. My room was [...]
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3

I don’t believe in friendship

  April 3rd, 2019 by Walkingghoul1739

This summer, two friends of mine seemed to become overly skeptical of me…. They seemed to always hint and nudge that they felt that I was a “*****”. I went from enjoying spending time with each of them to only seeing them grow more and more restless and uneasy around me and seeming to insult me at any given opportunity, and often for no reason at all.

One day I got sick of it and stopped talking to each of them. I went from hanging out with these 2 kids that I had been best friends with since pre school (we are now 23) almost every [...]
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4

I feel bad… yet angry

  April 2nd, 2019 by ariusversea

I don’t want to bother anyone with my problem. And yet I feel as if I’ll explode. For the past week, I’ve had to watch my abuser walk down my same hallways, spend quality time with his friends in his new clothes (guess his mom spoiled him), while I with in my usual frustration, jumpy whenever I feel anyone come near me, wanting to run away and having no one that understands because I CAN’T TELL.

but what if i killed myself? what if i fell out the window? in my letter, i’d blame everyone that protected him, everyone that made me feel like i [...]
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3

Dear my “best friend”.

  April 2nd, 2019 by strawberrycrown

I hope you know I’m never asking you to see me again. I’m afraid to call you now because I’m being “annoying”. I’m not going to be making any effort anymore, that’s up to you. Things have been said, hurtful things – and with no explaination. I don’t have much trust for many people anymore but I thought you were one of the good ones. I hope you know that you make me fore more ashamed and embarrassed of myself than you think of me. I want you to know that you are the reason for my pain Rn. I want you to know that I [...]
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2

anorexia and love

  March 31st, 2019 by lostcase

hey, i wanted to ask this for a while and i searched lots and i never found a proper answer, so basically the girl i love has anorexia , its quite serious and no matter how much she sometimes reaches with recovery whenever she sees her weight up she’d freak out and goes back to giving up and wanting to die. i realllly want to help her, she gets treatment and all but they are pushing her so much and i know its too much and i want to tell her that she needs to recover without me pushing her more. how can i ? [...]
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1

Well I guess you could say I don’t entirely understand my past. I got abused by my mother had bully’s as friends and well I was scared. Now I have ptsd ,panic attacks daily, and cry everyday. But more of the problem is that I have a lot of false memories ,probably to cope with reality, I can’t tell the difference between life and dreams most days. That causes problems. Losing a pen causes a mental breakdown because I can’t understand what is real. I can’t put up with it. I want to die. I don’t want to cut myself. I have before ,but what […]

12

religion and suicide

  March 27th, 2019 by lostcase

I know its dumb but no one ever talks about this. as for me i am a religious person somehow and i dont need to mention my religion, but the thing is allll religions viewed suicide as a sin , as someone disobeying and taking away life, and i do understand that so very much but ,, what if one wants to die so so so much . its very sad to see one fighting themselves like this, for me i hate myself more because i want to die then wish to die more, isnt that stupid and pathetic. what is this way of living? [...]
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9

for what it’s worth

  March 27th, 2019 by lostcase

it feels gloomy and everyone is sad. you cannot mention being sad anymore cuz everyone wants to die and it sucks way too much. why are we all so sad? and the thing is when someone i care about tells me they want to die i understand them way too much that i cant convince them not to. same with ana my lover and one of my great friends have it and they dont want to recover and i absolutely get them. but they cant stay like this. wheres the magic recipe to fix this broken world.


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2

For, how many days can I hibernate before people forget my existence? But would it really be such a bad thing?

  March 26th, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

People don’t really get it. It’s easy for me to put a smile on my face and tell people I’m fine. It just feels like hell dragging myself out of bed to do it. I get stuck in a situation of ‘no, I haven’t left my bed in four days, haven’t showered or eaten a decent meal but yes I’m fine, can’t you see the smile on my face?’ Lying is easy. Recently I feel completely unmotivated, numb, bored, tired and solitary. In fact, pretending to be OK is the only real relief. At least then I can feel like I’m worth something, others can [...]
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16

I’m not the picture perfect survivor

  March 24th, 2019 by ariusversea

I guess I’m gonna keep saying it until it feels 100 p. cent real to me.

Last night, my brother molested me.

And why reveal this to some forum you may ask?

Because I’m not allowed to tell anyone else. And I want [need] to tell someone.

My parents are trying to steer me towards forgiveness. I’m not having it. I’m at my mom’s house and I haven’t seen him since the incident. I feel like my body isn’t mine. Like I will forever be marked by those cold hands on my breast.

I’m desperate for human contact just answer this stupid message I feel like I’m [...]
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1

a beast has just ripped out my heart

  March 18th, 2019 by an_old_child

you can skip the first paragraph

i used to be suicidal some years ago, but i tried really hard and now i’m actually successful. i’m a computer engineering student and my grades are so good that i can go for masters degree without entrance exam. i’m a digital artist too and i’m currently an intern in a game development studio. it’s what i always wanted. although having to study hard and working at the same time is sometimes overwhelming, but it’s good. it [...]
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2

My last shindig

  March 17th, 2019 by mr.biaggi46

Last night i had a party at my house with a few friends. I tried to get all my coworkers and friends there, and luckily for me most of them showed up. I kept bringing it up and reminding people that it’ll be my last outting. The last time I will really be out or see people. What they didn’t know was i was planning to kill myself after they left.

The party was fun. Lots of drinks and lots of laughter, so when everyone left I originally thought i was just over reacting. Until i tried to actually fall asleep. All i kept thinking bout [...]
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5

The beginning

  March 17th, 2019 by awis

Hello everyone, I’m not a native speaker, so at first I would like to apologise for any mistakes I’ll possibly make in this post.

I don’t plan to leave any suicide notes, because I don’t have anything to say to most of the people and those to whom I do, wouldn’t want to listen. I’m writing this journal, because I don’t want people to freely shape my image after I die. Especially that they only see me as an idiot, or a monster, or a silly fool. Or a failure (that part is true though).

I found this website, while searching for the most suitable metods on [...]
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9

Stigma and Ignorance RIP

  March 9th, 2019 by SleeplessMind

Tuesday morning I received news of my friend/former lover’s suicide.
His family posted a short “R.I.P. ______ , service Sat. At ________. Everyone welcome” via social media.
Nothing further was acknowledged. No written obituary. Just RIP, and done. Ridiculous, in my opinion.
Avoiding the stigma of having mental health problems seems to be a big concern for people around us suffering. Society doest point the finger at the sufferers if the family denies it’s there..

So, today I write a proper obit to a good man:

J*** H.
Though he was often a man of few words, he made the ones he said count.
His laugh [...]
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0

Exhausted

  February 11th, 2019 by Dreary-elf

Today was my birthday…

I honestly wanted to cry the whole time I was with my dad because yet again, he forgot about my birthday.

I do so much for him and I just feel like he doesn’t appreciate the things I do for him… It’s been hard for both of us because we aren’t close as we used to.

I shouldn’t feel down because I had friends and other family members sticking around saying ‘happy birthday’

I’m just glad I made it into another year… I just need to keep pushing myself and not give up like last time

Also, I wanna thank the person I adore…

Thank you for being there and [...]
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8

My mum says I’m useless

  February 10th, 2019 by sugarcoated

I have graduated high school and I am starting university soon. And I managed to keep my job, despite being told I would be fired at the end of January.

No matter what I accomplish, education and employment, the two important things my mum has been bugging me about my whole life, I’m still useless.

I was actually happy for once since the worst year of my life last year, but every time I do something that I, myself, am proud of, like getting accepted into university, I get nothing but a “good job” then it’s back to the insults of how “useless” I am and how I [...]
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27

Rejection

  February 2nd, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

So here I am again. Same old lame things. Depression, anxiety. But this week I’ve had a very special guest in my life: rejection.

It’s not that we hadn’t met before. Oh no, we’ve always been pretty close. But this week we really connected.

Being the weirdo doesn’t really get along with depression and anxiety. Specially when you’re the only girl at work who wasn’t invited to the farewell party. Feeling 15? Well I am 25 and this is still hitting hard.

Friend stood me up and made it pretty clear that she doesn’t really care about me.

Crush has been making my life even more miserable for the [...]
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0

What is BAD LUCK

  January 26th, 2019 by Itscolourlife

I want to drag you in
Deep inside me
Deep inside the blackhole with me
I want you to know my sadness my sorrow my darkness
But in the end I cant tell you

You have problem too
I know mine is so much more
But I cant give you more sadness more sorrow more darkness

When you said you bring bad luck to people around you
How can I say that Im not alright
How can I say that I have depression
When you are just my best friend

When you said about your best friend death
When you said your ex gf have cancer

How can I [...]
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