Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

7

I Just Lost the Best Part of my Life

April 23rd, 2017by Arthur R.

My girlfriend of almost three years just left me with no explanation, Im just looking over pictures of us together and i cant stand it. I had just gone with my friend to get an engagement ring just five months ago. i made the last payment on it just last week. I was going to ask her to marry me at our favorite cafe, it was where we first met. i had stopped her from suicide after she had lost her father and now im honestly the one whos trying. since that night we had made more memories in a few years than i had made …

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1

Blossom

April 23rd, 2017by Addiictivetragedy

You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t agree.. threatened like a thief …

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3

Im Ready to Die…

April 21st, 2017by -M-

This may be triggering for some, so dont continue if you think it will. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore…

Over the past three years, I have lost several important people in my life. Most of them walked out of my life purposefully without a goodbye; one died due to a disease we both are affected by. However, all of them have left me to wander through life stranded and alone. All of them took pieces of me away slowly and now nothing is left worth preserving.

So that is why I am here tonight: to tell everyone why I an ready and willing to …

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1

I can’t

April 20th, 2017by Maddie.Shit

It’s been long since my last post here,my life has changed way so different..to the worst, oh c’mon it’s maddie,my life won’t turn up,sure,so anyway people think that I’m a psycho or something,this woman who is supposed to be my mother  told them that I’m having a mental problem,That’s because of my last suicide attempt,well i’m okay with this, but people around me,they seem different from me, I see the smiles on their faces, they are happy,i never knew the meaning of happiness, the whole universe is against me,i wish I could stop the pain but, by myself?no I can’t

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3

Am I broken?

April 20th, 2017by Broken_Masterpiece

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have a friend who listens and understands. But I don’t know what is wrong with me. I can go from being perfectly fine to being absolutely not fine in the blink of an eye. I dont know why. I can’t control it. I feel guilty for this. Even though I have a friend who listens I do not always want to share as I am scared of becoming a burden. What is wrong with me and how can I be normal?????

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9

selfish

April 16th, 2017by noisefloor

The future isn’t some far off thing . Its right fucking now! And I could be waiting for things to get better and hoping for a better future for days, years, or months. Its a bunch of bullshit and everyone dies it doesn’t matter when you die as long as you do. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of your death but also I get to die when I WANT to die. Because its MY life not my moms or my sisters or my grandparents or my friends life its MINE! and the only reason people want suicidal people to stay …

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1

I don’t know anymore

April 16th, 2017by KidWithNoLife2000

I’m not sure where to start. But I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. As I’m writing this I have tears coming out of my eyes. I’m not sure whether it is my mental state or the fact it is nearly 2 in the morning. But death is something I’ve wanted for a while over the course of my life. In primary school and I’m year 7 I was very lonely. I was liked by people but I had no friends. Even in some of year 8 in secondary school I still had very limited friends. At the start of year …

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7

Nine-year Anniversary

April 16th, 2017by SweetQuietus


I no longer know what I believe re: God, spirituality. I’ve seen some crazy shit that ought to give me pause, yet all I want is to end. It’d be wise to calculate the cost, but my brain is tired& I no longer care, which is stupid, considering eternity & all.

Personal revelations have been made & ground won, yet hopelessness & inner darkness have increased. My life’s just another tale told by an idiot, full of sound & fury, signifying nothing. My fault is that I expected it to be otherwise. I’m disinclined to create another note. Fuck it. Fuck it all.

Saturday, April 26, …

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1

Alone

April 15th, 2017by fighting_alone94

So maybe it’s not much of a problem I mean I’ve been through way worse and felt way lower in my life but for some reason I can’t help but feel alone and depressed. Growing up I didn’t have friends and I hit my peak in middle school. I have hundreds of friends well I guess looking back none of them were really my friends but once I got to high school everything changed I didn’t trust anyone and I was the most paranoid person in the world. Not like omg the FBI is after me but like I always felt that someone was going …

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2

What is depression to you?

April 15th, 2017by M_f_p

So this is my first time posting here. I’ve had depression for about 1.5yrs. Something I don’t really understand is why people don’t really understand what depression really is? Why are other things that are so pointless, educated in our lives like maths or science. I know there is so much to learn in this world but I guess you need to really feel it to know what it is.

Do you think killing your own self is worse than a terminal disease like cancer or even killing someone else? How hard would a decision like that be to kill your own self. Contemplation is my …

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4

Never ending pain

April 15th, 2017by Broken_Masterpiece

I know I write a lot, but I am so grateful to finally have a place to express myself without those I know judging me. The pain never stops. I feel like my soul is constantly being crushed. I smile and chat and it is scary how good I have become at hiding the pain. Or maybe they don’t want to see. It is sad how desperate you can be just to know someone is there for you, that longing for the most basic of human interaction. I thought I was ok. Always goes that way, then the darkness returns, always a bit worse, a …

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1

What makes me move on?

April 14th, 2017by kellinandrew

I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I …

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0

I’m Back

April 14th, 2017by kellinandrew

I haven’t posted in a while, I dont know why.. But I have a story to tell. I was looking for my sleeping pills, my Trazadone,  when I found my moms Phenobarbital, which is a hypnotic. I used to be addicted to a lot of drugs, more than I ever thought possible. I broke those habits two years ago when I was 15, now I have fallen back into them. I have become dependent on these pills and I am trying to stop, but at first I didnt see a point, yes it can kill me, yes its hurting me. But maybe I was wrong. I …

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5

Have you felt it?

April 14th, 2017by Broken_Masterpiece

Have you ever felt utterly alone, even in a room filled with family and friends? I feel like I am in a different universe all alone…

How do you cope?

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4

I’m ready to go but my son will be the one to find me. This has been a deterrent but while I am temporarily deterred my darkness increases….

April 14th, 2017by inapickle

As title. No,  I don’t want to see a doctor, they don’t hear you. I don’t want medication, its a bandaid. I just want release. My son is a young adult in his twenties but I know, even if I leave a note saying just call the police and don’t come in, that he will come in and find me. Only the thought that he will have that imagery for the rest of his life stops me right now. Before you say go to a hotel, he would still be the one to identify my body. I love him but I hate myself, my existence, …

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4

Done trying

April 13th, 2017by Broken_Masterpiece

Trust me….

I am here for you….

How those empty words echo through my mind. I let my mask slip for a second to bare my soul, naked and alone. All I want is love, acceptance and maybe even a hug… The prison I am in is guarded by severe loneliness. Serving a life sentence. Why am I an outcast, why am I hated. Why am I alone. I have had it with trying, screw love, friendship and all those things, clearly I am not deserving.

For months on end I have been quiet, festering on the inside, like a virus eating at my soul. Now I am …

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2

Fucked Over by Public Schools

April 13th, 2017by kloudkat

I’m eighteen, I’m a senior in high school, and I’ve attended four different high schools, one for each year essentially. I’ve suffered from depression since I was eleven (due to childhood abuse), and during the beginning of my sophomore year, I suffered from my first severe flash back starting my downward spiral of PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. During the fourteenth week of school that year, I was admitted into a private mental health facility for inpatient treatment. I was there for eight days, and right afterwards, I attended iOP which is intensive outpatient; it lasted for six weeks. So I was gone from school …

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1

disgruntled

April 13th, 2017by Lazarus

Sorta upset. Sorta not. Mostly disgruntled. Okay, I’m pretty upset.

Its my birthday in a few days..  April 15th. I’m turning 18. Having a dumb party and all that good shit. Which.I’m excited about, yeah. But after that I have to take my fucking GED test that I’ve been studying for for years now on top of regular high school. (Its a weird homeschool situation.) sorta upset I had to drop out. That my high school diploma I would get if I didn’t drop out wouldn’t even count. Really upset that I have to take this dumb fucking test.  I just want to pass. I’m so …

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2

My Life, Why I Want to Die

April 11th, 2017by AnonymousUser27

This is a short explanation of my life and why I want to die I’ll keep it short but I plan on killing myself rather soon so I’d like at least someone to have heard this story. I’m 20 years old currently and have been severely depressed for the past 12 years. It started when I was around 7, I was a smart kid who loved school but was athletic too. I was much more athletic than my grade and the one above it so I played with the much older kids. At the time I didn’t realize but they were picking on me and …

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1

I just want to get out of everything

April 10th, 2017by Lawli

Hockey season is starting and already there has been lots of drama in my team. It really doesn’t have much to do with me but being around it and talking to people about it got really stressful. Although it’s mainly over now I am still tired from it and already made me feel really down getting into the season. My club games have already started and I’ve played pretty average. I always feel like I’m letting me team down ever since my Dad told me in the car before a game that I was letting the team down and I wasn’t doing good enough. I …

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