Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

1

it´s been a while

  December 9th, 2018 by plasticflower

i haven´t been here for over a year, and i really need to empty my brain, so here´s a bit of the mess that´s going on in my head

 

i tried to hide it more, so they wouldn´t notice. I guess I got too good at hiding it because now she thinks i´m doing so much better. And maybe I am, but it  doesn´t really feel like it. I feel like soon i´ll break; and I don´t know if I can or want to stop it. Today she said, “I think you´re doing much better now. Do you still think you need to see a therapist?”. …

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5 days ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects

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Protected: Just Saying Goodbye

  December 9th, 2018 by jocelyn._.martinez

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

6 days ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects

1

End it

  December 8th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Im sick and tired
At times like this i miss you
I miss you so much

I collect all the pieces
Trying to make it into a nice picture
But its too sharp
But maybe not
Its just sharp for me

I want to be hurt by myself
I donr want to drag you in it
You have such a bright future
So you dont deserve person like me

I should end it
End it
End it
End it
End it

Its going to be my last time
When i meet you
I want to say
You know actually you are cool
And handsome when you are focused
And thats why i dont want to ruin it

I dont want to ruin your smile

I should end it
End it
End …

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1 week ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note

5

I don’t know what to do, suicide might be my only option

  December 8th, 2018 by kahann

I’m a 50 year old female who has never really lived and probably never will.

Look, I know I should take responsibility for my mistakes and failings but I feel trapped. It’s like I’m in a prison and there is only one way I’m getting out and that’s death.

It all started when I was 6, that’s when my step-father started molesting me. When I was 7 I told my mother what he was doing, that was the day she started beating me. When I was 12 he wanted to do more than fondle me and pleasure himself, when I said no he got into a mood …

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, General

3

Selfish.

  December 2nd, 2018 by AKidWithAName

I’m so confused.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  I don’t know where I stand with anyone anymore.  I keep fucking everything up for everyone.  My brain’s so fucked and I don’t know why.  Maybe I do.  I don’t know.  I don’t know if my parents actually care about me.

They used to beat the shit out of me.  They don’t seem to really remember that.  I don’t think they understood just how bad they hurt me when they did what they did.  I’m sure they’d think I was a ***** if I ever told them that “they hurt my feelings”, which sounds so …

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2 weeks ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note

2

Deterioration

  November 28th, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

I’ve had left side flank pain on and off for four years now.

I finally got to see a GI specialist.

The specialist thinks my mental illness has caused my physical illness and pain for the past four years. That I have IBS and there’s nothing she can really do for me, and that psychiatric medication is probably my solution.

Unfortunately medication hasn’t been safe for me and no other treatments have helped me either.

I have already given mental illness the ability to make friends.

I have already given my mental illness educational opportunities.

I have given it my ability to support myself financially.

I have given …

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2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General

1

I Give Up

  November 28th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

3 Months Ago i posted my first post here ”I Want to be Happy”.
Back in those days i told myself ”If things don’t get better by the end of this year (2018) i would end up my life”
Weeks after i wrote that post i was actually optimist, the things in my life got better, i trutly thought i would make another year. But it was just that, a delusional through.

But life beated me down.

The things that happened goes far from my control, i can’t help not even to myself, less to my family. and if it is not enough…

She found another dude, she told me …

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2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, Stories of Loss

10

Meds

  November 26th, 2018 by Black Holez

So who here is on medication? I’ll be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow but some part in me wants to not take meds if I am prescribed one because of all the things I’ve read like it messes up your mind or brain chemistry or something. So what does it feel like when you take your happy pills? Do they even work? Has it messed up your thinking?

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3 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, General

1

Bad memories

  November 17th, 2018 by SuicidalThoughtsButRefuseToKillMyself

I have bad memories of someone who says, “if I had it my way I would put him in a looney bin” fuck if I had it my way if I was strong enough I would kill myself not just bored with my life not certain about this life and wish I had the strength to end it all bipolar sucks my life is worthless to me at such times but I know if I ever do kill myself if I ever do that it would destroy everything that loves me but it would good for all those who hate and or don’t like me …

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4 weeks ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

2

These days

  November 14th, 2018 by Chanty

These days I don’t feel anything. Things that I used to care about seem uninteresting.
I feel like I have been on a road to self destruction. I see myself doing things that I know will only hurt me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t bring myself to care about anything anymore and that scares me.
My grades are slipping, my relationship with my parents is straining.
I know that I should try to fix everything while I still can, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do anything anymore.
The thought of dying have been on my …

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1 month ago • Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

2

venting

  November 8th, 2018 by arielblaze

so, today i learned people can use their situation of being ill, to act in certain ways, knowing that people around they will not react in a more agressive way, cause they are ill, and we do not wanna hurt them, or stress them.  i don’t know if i could express myself clearly. the complexity of the situation dazzles me. does it might be cause she could almost have died, so she must say out these unsaid truths, just in one time, cause she was so close of not being able to say these truths for ever? whatever is the reason. as william blake said …

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1 month ago • Family & Friends Effects

0

nobody’s there

  November 1st, 2018 by hollowchest

Feeling like I’m going insane.
Everyone’s delusional.
And I gotta play this game.
Alone and nobody gives a damn.
She said she’s my best friend but what?
Nobody hits up my phone up.
Everybody say they have depression and they’re all alone but it’s all just a facade. Like it’s trendy now to wear it as a badge of honor. When in fact you’re charged guilty pleading your honor.
Fk why I gotta bottle
Everything up inside
Gambling with my life like a lotto.
It’s past midnight.
Gotta sleep.
Dreams of waking up to a better life, resting in peace.

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1 month ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Poetry & Art, Rants

0

Bad times

  October 30th, 2018 by Still_A_Human

I have a what from an outsider’s perspective a nice life. I have a loving family, nice grades, I don’t have any mental conditions, and I have nice things. But coming into my real life you see how horrible it is. I went to a nice school and I had bunch of friends, but I changed schools and everyone, EVERYONE hates me. I’m not exaggerating either, even my teachers hate me. I’ve never gotten a detention in my life, and now I’ve gotten 2 suspensions in three weeks. Think about it, it’s not me, it’s them. I am constantly bullied in school and beaten up. …

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2 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

2

Trump turned everyone against me…

  October 11th, 2018 by JustSomeGuy4455

Two of my most recent posts got deleted I believe because I was linking  to other websites. I know that this place is a safe space where I can vent out my frustrations without judgement, so I’m going to try again.

 

As I said, I don’t think I love my mother anymore. I wish I could make her see what she needs to reap when I heard that Trump is “transporting thousands of immigrant children into camp cities.” I outright said that I wanted to punch her. She chose Trump over her own autistic asexual child.

 

Trump turned my own people against each other as well as …

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2 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, Rants, Stories of Loss

3

Living a life you never wanted

  October 8th, 2018 by Thedarkwritter

So here i am, idk where to start, but let me..

I am the first daughter of the family, i live in asia, and my mom really gives all the burdens to me. She really wants me to live her dream. I unconsciously live that way bcs i’ve been told the value of being obedient.

I have to meet their expectations, if i am not, maybe it was not a direct judge towards me but they’ll keep telling me abt how much i became a burden for them.

I can’t live it anymore, i have my own dream, my own life.

Now i am suffering from depression, idk what …

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2 months ago • Family & Friends Effects

3

All I Want

  October 7th, 2018 by SuzieSalmon

My mindset hasn’t changed since January, I still envision myself not existing anymore but I’ve gained more sorrow because I’m around my family more. It gives me guilt, makes me feel so selfish. For once I just wish I could envision being where I feel is home and building the life I’ve missed out on. I wish there was nothing wrong with me and I wish I was strong enough for my family and for my husband. I want to be better. Its almost, December.

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects

8

no way out

  October 6th, 2018 by AKidWithAName

She was drunk.  Doesn’t that make it my fault?  She was raped before.  That’s the only reason she did it.  She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her.  She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right?  And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality.  She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me.  She stripped me of any hope for a future.  There is nothing after this.  Not even death could let me escape this hell.  It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note, Suicidal Survivors

0

Today I cry.

  October 6th, 2018 by strawberrycrown

I always try

To never cry.

Nobody must see

The tears coming out of me.

On the inside

My emotions hide.

So nobody can see,

That today I cry.

 

Very few people in my life have seen me cry and I like to keep it that way. My friends think of me as always being happy and this has been true for a little while. However, someone new come into my life a couple weeks ago and really messed with my head the last few days. He made me feel worthless and question everything good in my life. It made me have other struggles with close friends which caused me to be so …

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2 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Poetry & Art

8

I have no one

  October 4th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

They said your family, friends, or someone in this world
There must be someone who can help you
No..
Ive tried it..

I try to tell them but they are not there
I try to tell my friends but they got annoyed and leave me at the end
I try to tell my mom but she just said get over it
I try to tell my sister but she just said im stress too
I try to tell my dad but he said you are worthy try your best

Im trying but i never been there
What I want to be
What I want to have
Kill me
Please kill me
Please

They said the one you left will have …

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2 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

3

This is why I have trust issues

  October 2nd, 2018 by GerbzBaby

When I finally think I found the person(s) in my life to help me through hardships and show me that I can trust others again, I’m let down. Again. And again. And again. It’s to the point we’re I’m completely numb to it. I tell myself “You know it’s coming, it’s only a matter of time.” Then, eventually it happens. I tried to tell him that what he thought wasn’t true. That I just want him to understand. That I did appreciate him, but I need time for myself. He keeps thinking I’m making excuses not to talk to him. “You just don’t want to …

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2 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

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