Rants

2

I don’t understand

  December 8th, 2018 by Hiccup

There’s nothing wrong with my life. I have friends, a good education, a loving/supportive family, I’ve been doing the things I love, I pretty much have everything I want, I’m not homeless, and my health is great. Yet I’ve still been suffering mentally and emotionally. I don’t understand.

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

My body.

  December 3rd, 2018 by strawberrycrown

I’m sure there are many people out there that are in the same boat as I am to a certain degree, but for me what I think about myself and my body are true. Every day I look in the mirror and see a fat, ugly and worthless person staring back at me. I want so so much to become skinnier and to actually change but I can’t do it. I can’t commit to anything and it is really affecting me negatively. I study VCE health and am taught that a factor of mental health and wellbeing is positive self esteem. I have every right …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

  December 3rd, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

You are screaming and I can’t hear you.

I am screaming and you can’t hear me;

One person in a sea of 8 billion.

Live alone and love your T.V.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Trapped again

  December 1st, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

I’m surrounded by horrible people and I’m becoming a horrible person.  I’m tired of being abused and losing. I’m tired of trying only to fail.  I’m afraid of the future in my current state, afraid of death, hospitalization, and jail.

I don’t even remember what it’s like to be loved.  People hate me without ever getting to know me and they judge me based on the way I react when I fall into their traps.  I’m tired of being lied to and abused, called names and deliberately bullied.

It’s okay for everybody to mistreat and disrespect me, but when I get pushed over the edge they can …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

the autumn of my life

  November 30th, 2018 by ebullientballoon

As a rule, I am sentimental to the point of neurosis.  Given as I am to swaying wildly from one emotional extreme to the other, when it comes to making permanent changes, (or changes I view as permanent) I stop in my tracks.  I freeze.  I let dilapidation surround me.  I orgiastically wreathe myself in ambivalence.  This has had the benefit of keeping me alive when I would’ve rather died, but it also has the deleterious effect of keeping me in a state in which a full, worthwhile life is impossible.  And so I begrudgingly trundle myself from one moment to the next, one impulse …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Mom and Dad

  November 28th, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

Mom and Dad, you were both so screwed up and all that disfunction overflowed from your cup.  Abandoning me at the age of four, I watched my father walk out that door.  Left with a woman so selfish and cold that I don’t even remember her being in my life until I was 8 years old when she married an abusive psychopath that chased us down and in his wrath threatened to kidnap my baby sister.

Fairy tale step parents was what I had, it would been better if I had never had a dad, because I expected him to be there for me, but all …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Completely Lost…

  November 25th, 2018 by Distressed Ostrich

I’m 21 years old and I’ve been suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts for almost 10 years now (I think so at least, I don’t remember much but I’m pretty sure I first tried to run away from my home when I was 11 or so).

I don’t think it’s my dad who used to come home drunk and beat my mom.
I don’t think it’s my suicidal mom, whom I have caught quite a few time trying to kill herself when I was a kid.
I don’t think it’s the lack of friends, or the introversion.
I don’t think it’s the constant lack of money and the fear …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

I have a good life.

  November 24th, 2018 by DW

I have a pretty good life, especially compared to most people. My dad’s rich. My mum’s poor. so i guess i’m somewhere in the inbetween. i get okay grades, and i have friends. my biggest complaints are well-deserved depression, shitty anxiety, and a semi-physical, but mostly verbally abusive stepmom. They think I’m a goody two shoes. I kinda am? but honestly, i wish someone would fucking notice when i just walk outside at night in the middle of a conversation and stay walking for long periods of time, or set fires in sewers, or do drugs cause hey free drugs are free. it just. nobody …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

The Ambulance & my roommates

  November 23rd, 2018 by 5201jm

Well im back on here again. My epilepsy from my childhood years have been occurring recently giving me seizures at night every so often. Ive told my roommates dozens of times to stop calling the ambulance since it costs so much and i’ll wake up anyway, yet constantly I’ll wake up in an ambulance truck or hospital which to me just means more bills are coming my way…

But the reason I’m talking about this here is that the general concern from everyone(docs,nurses,roommates,etc) is that i can die in my sleep from one of them. Now im fine with that, heck seems like a good way …

Processing your request, Please wait....
19

Hey.

  November 23rd, 2018 by ADoseOfReality

Hey.

I’m the voice in your head as you read this. That’s how reading works. Everyone does it. Is it a female voice, a male voice? Maybe it’s a voice that’s altogether different! Perhaps you’ve even given me an accent or a lisp to make me sound funny. Whatever the case may be, your mind created it. What else do you think your mind’s been creating lately? Is it really your mind, or is it you?

Anyway, if you decide to have a Snack today then enjoy it! It’s the small things that make you smile.

 

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Alone and lost

  November 22nd, 2018 by Black Holez

Does anyone here spend most of the time indoors and only going out when necessary? It’s been weeks since I’ve gotten out of the house and I’m losing my mind already. I haven’t had social contact aside from my girlfriend and sad thing is we only see each other hours at best because she has classes to attend to. My routine consists of moping in bed, waking up, doing nothing and then seeing my girlfriend every time her classes are up which is in the wee hours of the afternoon. My life is trash and honestly, it wouldn’t make a difference if I died today. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

To be or not to be

  November 22nd, 2018 by randomdude101

I am torn between getting help and killing myself.

I don’t hate myself nor do I think that I don’t deserve to live. And I love my friends, with whom I shared many beautiful moments. When I think about leaving them behind I feel infinitely sorry, because I know they wont be better off without me. They will be hurt and left with so many questions that I cannot answer in one last letter.

But my problem is that I cannot help but wonder why I should stay alive in this world for another 60 years. Having to work for 40 years for someone else’s profit, having …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Internet, Reflections, and Trial and Error

  November 22nd, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I think the internet is causing a lot of problems for me. I have a habit of looking up answers to impossible questions, such as what’s wrong with me, why was I born, what’s the point of going on another day? And I always get the same answers. Life if a gift. Don’t waste it. But I have to wonder if it really is. Maybe it is for some people, but not for me. It’s like when you get something for Christmas from your grandma that you really didn’t want. And you’d feel really guilty about throwing it away because they obviously took the time …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

The Commonality of Suicide

  November 18th, 2018 by whatatool

Thinking about dying has become surprisingly commonplace. I know it is a rather common subject of jokes nowadays as well. Sometimes it’s confusing. It’s hard to tell whether or not someone really wants to die or not; they might just be poking fun. Talking about disappearing and such is a quirk rather than a concern. I dunno. Maybe everyone’s jokes are ‘for real’ and everyone 30 and under does want to die; it would be rather concerning.

I recall when I was in a major depression that I acted the happiest. I was, to strangers, a pleasant person to be around. It was odd and somewhat …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Bad memories

  November 17th, 2018 by SuicidalThoughtsButRefuseToKillMyself

I have bad memories of someone who says, “if I had it my way I would put him in a looney bin” fuck if I had it my way if I was strong enough I would kill myself not just bored with my life not certain about this life and wish I had the strength to end it all bipolar sucks my life is worthless to me at such times but I know if I ever do kill myself if I ever do that it would destroy everything that loves me but it would good for all those who hate and or don’t like me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

These days

  November 14th, 2018 by Chanty

These days I don’t feel anything. Things that I used to care about seem uninteresting.
I feel like I have been on a road to self destruction. I see myself doing things that I know will only hurt me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t bring myself to care about anything anymore and that scares me.
My grades are slipping, my relationship with my parents is straining.
I know that I should try to fix everything while I still can, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do anything anymore.
The thought of dying have been on my …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Rusted metal sodomy

  November 11th, 2018 by SleeplessMind

I live in a shithole. There is mold growing in the walls, window frames, and carpets. The roof has not been repaired since last spring’s ice storm, the landlord fell through my ceiling while checking into the leak and repaired the missing piece of ceiling from that particular area, but my kids are sick from mold, I can’t afford to live elsewhere (rent 6 buildings down the street is double for the same sized apartment). My kids are asthmatic and have gone through inhalers as an alarming rate.
My eldest has severe behavioural issues (stabbed his baby brother today) and he (eldest) has been removed …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Again this dream

  November 4th, 2018 by sdasdfdasds

I wake up. I reach for my phone but it only shows strange numbers. I rise up and walk to the light switch, but the lights wont turn on. I  go to the other room and again flick the light switch, but the room stays dark. At this point I wonder if this is a dream. But I know it is not, it is real. So I walk to try the bathroom lights, maybe the electricity is off. But there is something in the bathroom. I didn’t see it, but I know it is there and it wants to get out. I try to keep …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

I think my heart is giving me mixed signals

  November 3rd, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I feel so lost right now: one of my few close friends- a girl- made me feel…………..special. We had just gone to see a marvel movie, and we were in the car, just chatting. I had previously mentioned to her passingly in the last week or so that I thought that I was going to being moving away soon, and she had reacted in a semi-sad, but mostly just bummed out way. But I brought the subject up again in the car, because I wanted to get her opinion on the whole thing. She started tearing up and sad that she’d really miss me. I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

i don’t understand

  November 3rd, 2018 by soa

there was this one person who i thought was cool and stuff and when they opened up about their problems and stuff, i didn’t mind, i felt like i was trustworthy. my view on them didn’t change. but then they started to like, flaunt their problems? like i don’t get what you’re trying to do but they’re like pulling a ‘have pity on me card because i have family issues and you probably don’t have any problems at all so you don’t have a say in this’, or maybe that’s just how i felt. and of course i didn’t say anything about it, or to …

Processing your request, Please wait....