Rants

3

Setbacks

February 22nd, 2018by Agnostic Angel

It feels like no matter what I do, no matter how much progress I make, I always end up making the same stupid, shitty mistakes that send me back to square one. Each time, I keep on thinking that I’ll know better, and that it won’t happen again. But it does. It always does. I screw up, and everyone around me is disappointed in me. It puts a black feeling in my stomach, and when I get like that, I can’t feel any emotions. But that doesn’t stop me from hurting people. Whether it’s my intention to or not, I end up hurting people when …

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1

save me

February 22nd, 2018by amesstoconfess

i went back to cutting. i think everything is falling apart, i dont belong anywhere, i just want to die. i want to kill myself. when i got home yesterday i had the urge to overdose but this time i almost went with it. i just stopped caring for the time being. i still dont know what to do. lord. someone save me.

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9

Can’t Stop Falling

February 21st, 2018by Sad Song

I’m killing myself as soon as my parents are gone long enough. Or try to at least. Take a bunch of sleeping pills, fill my tub with cold water and ice cubes, and try to catch hypothermia, or freeze to death. Funny how I cut but I’m afraid of pain…. I just want it to stop. My wrists are scarred, and I blame it on a cat I don’t even have. If you actually read this, I don’t want any sympathy, like “Don’t do it! You’re worth it!” Tired of that bullshit. 11 years old and already planning to die. I’m a failure.

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3

Sick day

February 21st, 2018by ataria-coronaria

I woke up this morning covered in hives. I still feel an oncoming fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. It hurts to breath. I also have had years of reoccurring tonsilitis and stones and they are back too. I spent 7 hours last night trying to clean and reorganize my moldy, dusty, shared basement in an attempt to de litter my life and combat stress. But, it seems to have been a bad idea because now I’m soooo sick.

I was saying two days ago if I have to live in my awful house with this shitty life much longer, I think I’m going to …

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3

My life has turned upside down and pushed me to the edge

February 21st, 2018by lostsoul21817

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would be writing here about my depression. I honestly never knew the impact of depression before I had it.

It all started when I joined college. During my school days, I was one of the most popular students and held various leadership titles. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, all I can do is regret about myself. I’ve joined college in a foreign country miles away from my family and friends. Plus this is also where my brother studied. I was really excited about everything and did pretty well for a …

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6

new here, feeling lost, venting

February 20th, 2018by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot …

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11

Rant

February 18th, 2018by Taf Taf

I went tonight to the memorial of SS Oria.(I’ll attach photos at the end of this post,just to get an idea how the location is like)The SS Oria was (I’m copy-pasting from wikipedia) ” a Norwegian steamboat that sank on 12 February 1944, causing the death of some 4,000 Italian prisoners of war. This was one of the worst maritime disasters ever, and probably the worst loss of life caused by the sinking of a single ship in the Mediterranean Sea.”

I’ve been to this location 4-5 times.I don’t know why I go there.Maybe the loss of so many lives for no reason, draws me there.Maybe because …

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2

Revisiting old traumas

February 18th, 2018by ShortOne

i haven’t been on here for a year or so, and iv’e done so good in that amount of time i never wanted to slow down or look back at how i used to feel and cope with my depression. but i have poor stamina, and it’s caught up with me again.

 

I first visited this site in 2016 right after my parents had discovered my self harm and suicidal thoughts. At that time i was being emotionally and sexually abused by one of my closest “friends”, that had began a few years before but it peaked that year. The person who took advantage of me …

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2

An update

February 16th, 2018by Elysianvinyl

Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.

They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.

See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.

~Alex.

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1

what to do?

February 16th, 2018by amesstoconfess

lately i’ve had trouble handling my emotions. i don’t know why.
my moods have been changing as fast as the snap of fingers, one minute i’m glad to be alive the next i want to end it all. my dad was the same way when we used to live with him. weeks of productive positive energy and then a month of not even getting out of bed. he has bipolar and my sister does too, so i’m suspecting i have it as well.

i was self harming daily for about three months until i became too lazy to even get out something sharp, and at least four …

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5

thanks a lot rachel

February 15th, 2018by Tonislav

i just asked my dad for help on my homework and he really f**king told me not to cut my veins because of it. thank you dad i really appreciate you helping me in life in general since you’ve been always by my side (not).

He worked on another country for about 6 years maybe more and yeah i know he is trying to earn money so i can be in a good school and get better education and shit but like seriously i left my country where all of my friends are, im having a shitty time here aaaand he still can’t fking help me …

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1

Failllllll mums birthday

February 15th, 2018by beautifulmonster

I feel even worthless today. It’s my mums birthday. I couldn’t even gas myself properly. What a fail. Now I have to wait till tommorow.

I’m really annoyed. I’m lying in my bed head hurts. I don’t want to be here another minute. I really don’t.

I cannot believe my own sister did not come to the hospital. So called ‘friends’ pfffttttt. Every dog for themselves. But my own family. Gronks yesterday on shit so they say I’m on G?! I fuvking don’t even like it. Hospital staff so rude. I’m begging them my chest was hurting and she kept telling me I took G. If I …

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2

Hello, I am nothing.

February 14th, 2018by Indiigo

It hurts. Everything hurts so much. I struggle every day and keep on going but for what ? The mask I put on every morning is cracking. My facade I built is fading and people are noticing. I have always been told I am the happy one, that I bring joy but what if I can’t supply that joy any more ? I have no more to give so I can only offer my sadness. My darkest of thoughts which I mistakenly bare for people to see. I shouldn’t have told anyone. I’m not happy anymore, I am hurt. Destroyed. The me that was once …

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1

i shouldn’t have depression, or have suicidal thoughts

February 14th, 2018by Blackdrook

This is frustrating, i don’t even know what to say. I apologize about the bad language ahead. So basically I‘m all fucked up right now because of something incredibly insignificant. My sister just went shopping, asks me to help her unload the car with groceries. So she tells me to be carefull with the eggs, puts them under the hood of the trunk. She didn’t tell she put them there. But i basically crushed them. I told her i didn’t see them nor meant it (god this is just my head – but i think she feels that was the intent). …

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1

February 14th, 2018by Blackbear

I just feel lonely..

I hate having this feeling like I’m just gonna end up alone, die alone

Etc

But I know if I do get someone

Idk how long they’re gonna stay with me

How is it gonna end, if there’s even a point because all of the times they would’ve said “I love you and I’ll always be by your side” were a lie something just to pull me into it and then fuck with my emotions..

Having to see an ex almost everyday it’s just taunting, there were no goodbyes

Lol don’t even fucking know what’s going …

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1

Confusion

February 14th, 2018by Blackbear

So idk this always happens to me where I just hate how I’m acting, portraying myself to others. I’m always thinking about well I’ve gotta do this so they don’t think I’m not paying attention to them, I’ve always gotta smile so I seem polite. I just want a break though. I don’t wanna fucking talk to anyone, I don’t wanna have to change how I am because I don’t wanna upset others around me. But I hate doing it and it bothers me so much because if i were to stop being “fake” I guess that means I’ll make the “friends” upset but I …

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3

Fire.

February 12th, 2018by AlwaysSoTired123

Have you just wanted to grab all of your belongings. Everything that makes you, “you” and just pile it all up. Clothes, jewelry, bills, credit cards, medication….

Just a few ounces of lighter fluid and a match…it all just go away and leave nothing, but ash and smoke.

Watching it all burn down, all the materialistic shit that you have accumulated in all these long years….wishing that you could go into the fire and be burned away.

I don’t want to live anymore.

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0

My Job doesn’t fit me..

February 12th, 2018by nonexistingsoul

I think being an illustrator is not good for me. Well, it’s like I’m not good for an illustrator. This mental issues of mine affects my job. Right now, I can’t seem to draw. I can’t push myself. Not because I feel lazy but because I feel so satisfied with my work but my team, well some of the team, suggest something that DOESN’T really fit in what I’m drawing. I was so satisfied with what I did and already checked if this is okay, if this good and i already finished it maybe 2 weeks ago and it should be submitted 2 WEEKS AGO, …

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12

Another day has passed…

February 10th, 2018by Taf Taf

I woke up this morning,went to the kitchen and made a coffee.I sat in front of my pc and I started watching videos on youtube,smoking and trying to kill time.Most of the time I wasn’t paying any attention to these videos.I was thinking.Thinking about my life and the world.

I spent most of my life in this empty house (I’ve been living here since I left my parents’ house when I was 20 years old).Alone.I haven’t got any purpose or any goals to reach.I’ve saved some money,so I don’t have to work for now.But I know that I’ll have to find a job.Working is a nightmare.I …

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1

My Path… Your Path… My Dream… Your Dream… ?

February 10th, 2018by Itscolourlife

Hello Im back again !
So.. this is what I feel right now..
I want to be loved by my parents.. I want them to hear my stories.. chatting and laughing with me..
Im stuck here..
The doctor said that I suffered from depresssion and stress right now..
I thought that they will understand and love me after what they heard..
But its still the same..
What makes me sad is..
I try to live like what my parents want since a kid..
I will try to live up to their expectation..
I even stop pursuing my hobby as what my parents told me.. Actually its really hard for me to let this …

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