Rants

0

rain and tears

March 27th, 2017by Moon gazer

I always felt, like emotions are like standing in the rain naked. No matter how light, or heavy it rains, you can always feel it, with your entire being. Yet I have always felt, like I am in a glass cage, hearing, seeing, and smelling the rain, but never feeling it touch me. Wondering if i am the same, only missing one part, but such a crucial part. Refusing to break my cage, because maybe its my only shelter, maybe i would dissolve in the rain. Refusing to accept it, maybe it traps my spirit, from the waters that would nurture it. Helpless against myself, …

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4

This is the end of the fucking line

March 27th, 2017by Ka7613

Let’s be real, I’m not going anywhere. This is the end of the goddamn line for me.  I’m not talking about death.  I’m not about to half-ass attempt to kill myself again, even though the thought is always appealing.  No, I’ve just reached the peak of my fucking life.  This is as far as I’m going to get.

Just gonna make like the captain of the Titanic and go down with this fucking ship.  The ship being my life in this case.  I’ll just sink until I miraculously pull a lifeboat out of my ass and float away from this fuck-all ocean of self-pity and misery …

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2

Crossed the line

March 26th, 2017by TheRoadSoFar

I once heard or read that we have a “limit”, and we shouldn’t keep everything to ourselves because it bottles up and in the end we won’t be able to hold to it any longer, and we break. We surpass that limit.

Well, theory confirmed: I broke my limit yesterday. All the sadness, anger and frustration, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I started crying. Things get worse if you take into account that I started crying in a party. And I really hate when people see me cry and then come to me.

Now I don’t know how will I be able to look those people …

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2

A good day.

March 25th, 2017by Foxglove7

Today was a good day. I feel more insecure because of that. A dear friend who I love dearly called, and I hadn’t heard her voice in months. I was so nervous. We talked philosophy like always, like the day we first spoke(for hours) and became instant friends, maybe friends for life. Now I feel so insecure. I haven’t spoken to her in months….. does she know how crazy I am? She knew when I left the town we met in a few months back. She knew my mind was broken in a million places by madness and self-destruction and hopelessness. She held me really …

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10

Never Safe

March 24th, 2017by SeeSmith

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6

A Suicide Note To Myself (AKA, More Bullshit That I’m Too Self-Centered To Keep To Myself)

March 22nd, 2017by AKidWithAName

DEAR FUCKING ME,

As of yesterday, I’ve officially come across the most miserable day of my year: the day of my entrance into this god-forsaken abyss! Who wouldn’t want to remember my birth, where I nearly died twice before I even got out of my fucking mom (who didn’t even want me, by the way). I really must’ve fallen short; birth is an easy time to die.

I could always blame it on the sadists the world calls doctors. They didn’t really want me to live either, I’m sure (who could fucking blame them?). Unfortunately, their job calls for them to try to keep even the most …

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0

Aaaand I’m back

March 22nd, 2017by pikwangchu

I actually feel quite clean today. Well not exactly. A bunch of hoes are pissing the crap out of me. And i apprently failed my exams again.

 

 

anyways. My point is… like suicidal thoughts flash into my mind out of nowhere in the middle of class. Not every time but from time to time. It’s quite scary actually. I’d also think about how people would react to me disappearing. I honestly feel like they wouldn’t care. I mean a lot of them don’t care. Maybe some will but not a lot. Just about 2-3 people would. Out of all 100+ people in school that I know.

 

 

I …

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3

Stupidity is killing me

March 20th, 2017by Lennie Cohen

I deal with some of the most stupid human beings in the world. These are low skill sales people meaning they arent selling complicated products so anyone with a pulse can get licensed and certified to sell the products. I’m getting emails asking “whats the password for the webinar” even though it’s clearly listed on the email. I have people asking me in a snarky way for the physical address of the training as if I’m a moron and forgot to list an address. Hello! Sh1t for brains!!!! It’s a WEBINAR!!!!!!

This is just the tip of the iceberg. They are so stupid and they don’t …

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4

Blank

March 19th, 2017by Zelrot

I lost my baby within three years of her birth. Before that, I was moderately depressed. Once in a while I would break down into tears, I was even afraid to look in the mirror. I’ve seen myself as a monster most of my life. If not I as a monster, then I as someone surrounded by them. I’ve been married to my husband for quite a while now, I love him dearly but his depression only piles onto mine. He’s put a gun to his head around 238 times now, once just recently. He pulled the trigger all but that last time, all bullets …

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2

Developing frustration

March 18th, 2017by Rayman

Post-analysis: I’m sorry for anyone who reads through this.. it’s an utter bullshit and compared to other really serious posts here it seems out of place..but it might help me pick myself up again and i can’t just post this on facebook can I

Hi there, me again with my bullshit (and my bad english). It’s always the same deal with me. Time to time I feel like I’m slowly decomposing from the inside and it’s always in the worst time possible. Right now I’m in my most difficult year on Uni, studying mechanical engineering. I’m 23 y.o, have loving family and some friends from uni. …

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3

just felt like posting to deal with my emotions sorry if its bad

March 18th, 2017by Moon gazer

Chasing after the moon.

Under a cloudless sky.

The stars suppressing my sense of self.

Forgetting my demons.

Forgetting my scars.

Trying to grasp the moon.

Hoping to steal the secret to its peace.

Content to rise and fall.

To always shine just for itself.

My cries fall into oblivion.

My hands always failing to reach it.

Still chasing after it.

Awaking from my dream.

The moon still in the sky.

Still away from my reach…

 

by moon gazer

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7

Are we really the selfish ones?

March 17th, 2017by stuckfornow

Are we, the ones in insurmountable agony, the ones who are selfish? We yearn for an escape from something that is out of our control, yet “how dare we” be so selfish. Yes, it’s selfish to make others suffer so that we can escape, but it’s selfish of them to bind us to this life we wish to take no part in. It’s selfish of them to make us feel even worse than we already do (if at all possible) for wanting to have that unspeakable freedom. I do believe it’s selfish of me to take what I want without consideration of those I love, …

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7

Abuse, Broken, Alone, & No Future

March 13th, 2017by BrokenDreamer

All my life I’ve tried to do the right thing and all my life I got pain and abuse.

Years back everything was destroyed by a hurricane and lost that I owned and my health started to fail.

In 2014 my father died due to med mal.  I’m on disability having gotten a severe debilitating condition.  I’m in massive chronic pain.  Greedy relatives tried to the little money my father had.

I have no one to help me.

In 2015 I got abused by 2 medical facilities and imprisoned in one due to a false statement someone made.  I witnessed an African-American beaten by hospital security severely in the …

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1

Despair and Hopelessness

March 13th, 2017by Black Holez

I don’t know how to move on in life. I may have rebounded back while I was in the monastery but once I got back in the real world, the same feelings of hopelessness, despair and loneliness has slpwly crept back in. I thought I could go on and move on with me life, I currently even have a scholarship in trade school right now but it seems all so pointless and empty.

I got abandoned by friends, my family looks down on me, I am irritable and angry all the time and I have no one to talk to. My closest friend became a drug …

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1

Newbie

March 11th, 2017by sp2112

Hmm… Just signed up. Not sure where to start. I had made myself a deal a few years ago. I decided that it really is kind of my duty (no ‘kind of’ involved, if I’m being honest) to outlive my mother and my dog. Feel like I owe it to my mother. Just couldn’t do it to my dog who is everything to me. I am also everything to her and I just couldn’t leave her adrift like that. I still plan on keeping that promise. But, I gotta say, the world in general and this country (usa) in particular these days is making this …

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0

Day of the thorn, For the rose now despises me…

March 10th, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN

I worked
countless hours
I ran,
distances many men are incapable of doing
I did things that while moral and proper left me exhausted
i, I never, ever have worked so hard in my life
I ran things, boss like. To no avail for I failed a lot
I did things hoping that one day I could see you again and hoping
that I co uld be there for you and hoping that I could be that person,
That you  looked up to, that person you could look forward to being
the reason why I stayed around
the reason why I worked so hard
the reason why I never gave up (offered myself), the reason why I …

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17

If You Talk Enough Sense, You’ll Lose Your Mind

March 10th, 2017by strangesoulspirit

It doesn’t matter what I do.

I have been to three hospitals in an effort to save me from myself. I tried to explain my feelings of pointlessness to the doctors. All I got was medications shoved down my throat and a longer hospital stay.

I tried to explain myself to the EMT in the ambulance with me. All I got was a lecture of how selfish I am, and then he showed me pictures of his cats.

I tried to explain it all to the nurses. It was funny to one that I watch crime shows and Grey’s Anatomy and was suicidal, but if I didn’t watch …

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7

Please help.

March 9th, 2017by afterdark000

Honestly, I dont even know why I want to kill myself. I dont know why, but I just want to.

I want to give up on my life. Everytime I look back on the things on Ive done, it makes me want to cry.

To be comepletely honest, while thinking about registering here, I cried. I then spent the next hour deciding to sign up or not.

My mom walked in on me just now. I tried hiding my face and wiped the tears away, but she saw me for a second or two probably. She asked why my eyes were red. She then went on talking about …

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4

The Stars are Too Bright Not to be Seen

March 9th, 2017by every_nightfall

A few days ago, a classmate noticed the cuts on my wrist.

Today, a friend of mine saw the cuts too.

I told them it was nothing, that I only got them for being mean to cats (Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.). I know what I said was such an awful thing to say especially when even you can see the truth beyond your own lie. It’s just that I couldn’t quite think of anything to use as an alibi anymore.

I’m afraid sooner, more people would start to notice the slashes on my wrist and think I’m a weirdo, or worse they might think I’m someone …

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11

Countless Scars (i’m new here)

March 7th, 2017by every_nightfall

Would a person die when he’s dead?

Or would he only feel more pain?

I knew I’m already suffering from depression a year ago but it’s only last week that I started to hurt myself physically. It just happened. I don’t even know when or how something sharp came into my hand to slit my wrists. All I know is that I shove it on my skin and felt the burning pain beneath. And that it felt so good. To finally feel the pain. To finally divert my attention on my bleeding wrist rather than what I feel inside.

It was the time my brother came to …

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