Rants

2

Lost

May 28th, 2017by melancholychild

I feel like everything is working against me right now. I feel very tied down, and I want to run away. I have responsibilities, and I have a path planned for my future, and I have goals I need to achieve to reach that future. But they aren’t what I want to do. They don’t make me happy. They don’t bring me satisfaction. I like writing — a lot. I like writing stories about people who would literally be considered my alter ego. If I could sit and write all day, every day, for hours and hours on end, there is no doubt in my …

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15

A God

May 28th, 2017by Thetoshiana

Is there a God?

I’m angry.  I wish there was a God. Something that gives me hope. I wish I could have that comfort from believing.

But I know there is no God.

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2

Almost Made a Scene at Work

May 27th, 2017by BlueDiamond

I keep being told that I’m doing a good job, only been critiqued on one thing, but then well I wasn’t in trouble or anything like that. He said he wants to focus on zoning things in the store, since that was my strong point, and that we have too many employees and the plants have enough water due to the rain.

I’ve worked too many jobs to know where this heading, Yeah, they’re going to soften the blow, this is why I never believe the good comments, then they’ll laid you off because you were not needed enough for the company. I have noticed that …

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1

May 27th, 2017by doePrince

Sometimes its just frustrating to keep on with the uphill battle is all. Been in highs and lows and while the lows are particularly bad they arent like how they used to be.

Regardless, its still really fucking frustrating when ya actually try to do what you’re supposed to and it doesn’t seem to be doing any good. Keeping up with the doctors, actually giving a shit bout my general health. Even trying to manage or eliminate stress factors in my life but im still battling these hallucinations and voices.

Sometimes something does get to me but its really easy to squash those worries if I ACTUALLY …

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3

I Want To Die

May 25th, 2017by Todamnbad

My life has always been a living hell. Grew up in a dysfunctional family. Suffered a lot of verbal abuse and some physical. It was so bad my friends were scared to come over. That started when I was 8 years old and all that time beforehand, I had a normal childhood. It was when my mom got the new boyfriend shit changed which was when I was 8 and so forth. I was a smart kid and I considered myself smart. A and B student through high school. Had high self esteem. Didn’t have too many friends which didn’t bothered me. Lack of friends …

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4

Why am i alive

May 25th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Seriously… why the f am I here? I just don’t get myself.. everything planned is ready. The tools are placed. But I’m making excuses. Why? I keep telling myself “eventually it’s over, but stay a few months longer for the hell of it” I bought a computer for games. Considering I spend most of my time now.. hiding from sound. I had surgery to fix my ears.. didint work.. we’re going for another attempt/ approach in a month.. I don’t know why I’m trying to fix myself when I’m just going to suicide soon. I guess I’m just scared and I still wanna live in …

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7

dont you dare…

May 24th, 2017by anne33

don’t you dare compete with other peoples pain. since when is this a competition??? reading other comments on tons of posts saying that other people have it worse, that someone is hurt more than others, blah blah blah.

fun fact: EVERYONE HURTS. accept it. help each other and we can all grow stronger together.

belittling someone else’s pain isn’t gonna make you feel better. and, why do you wanna be the one to “hurt more” anyways? wouldn’t u typically consider that an.. idk.. bad thing?

sorry im hella emotional right now and i got kinda mad. sorry friends i love you all, this is just my opinion. have …

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4

Teenager

May 24th, 2017by musicalloser

When I was a kid I wanted nothing but to get to my teenage years.

I wish I didn’t rush growing up.

Now it feels like a chore to just get out of bed in the morning. I still go to bed hoping I don’t wake up the next morning. I would love to go back to those childhood days when everything was okay.

I sometimes wish this was all just a dream. I’m tired of being where I am now, but I can’t go to anyone for help or I’ll be told I am only seeking attention.

I tried calling for help, and yet no one listened.

All my …

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13

Stupid Sexual Urges

May 23rd, 2017by BlueDiamond

I can never have any real friends. All I attract is perverts everywhere I go saying that they’re my friend, more like hoping to be a friend with benefits. Nobody cares about what I have to say or what I like. I might as well walk around saying, “Blah, blah, blah, look at my tits” over and over again. People are going to group me into that category of sluts, even though I don’t put out. I get sexualized every where I turn, and people wonder why I hate sex so much. Why I don’t want to go out anymore? Can never look a man …

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3

I tried to get help

May 23rd, 2017by Milestiba

I went to group yesterday and today with a bag of clothes to go to the hospital. Yesterday, I could not bring myself to talk to the therapist. I have been on my phone every night with two and three different crises lines. But I always say that I will be safe even with the racing thoughts and plans to attempt suicide.

Today, I asked the therapist how do you push across the point of knowing you need help to actually taking it. She told me that the only person who could answer that question was the one asking it. She thanked me for coming to …

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1

people; getting stuff out of my head

May 23rd, 2017by plasticflower

even though i can’t feel anything and my brain is a blur, i can still pretend everything’s fine, and people believe it. don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing; i guess it’s a bit of both.
about a week ago, i was told that people saw me as someone composed and mature, and that i seem to be happy even when there’s bad things going on; that it helps others feel better. and i legitimately laughed out loud when i heard that.
off topic, but being a young person who just moved to the other side of the world is hard. wow, shocker! my …

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10

Boulder

May 23rd, 2017by _Angel_x

Have you ever woken up and felt like there’s just this gigantic boulder on you holding you down ? And there’s no way you can move it. And you don’t have the energy to even try. So you just accept your fate and lie there being crushed by its weight. Even when people are screaming at you to get up. And you try to explain to them that you physically can’t. Nothing can break you out of this trance.

You stay under this boulder until the day it finally suffocates you.

That was my morning. How was yours ?

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1

jabbering

May 22nd, 2017by hailtotheamnesiac

Here we go again. I’m left alone in my bed, with nothing but the sound of my fan and my laptop. My boyfriend went to bed, after the horrible day he had. Today was the first time I realized I’m depressed…..again. Only God knows why I was given clinical depression at the age of 15, with severe anxiety to top it off. I have no friends (besides my honey), and the only will to live I have is my religion. I’m losing that will. My religion takes about a great afterlife, and I have never wanted to go more than I do now. Since my …

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4

// why am i here.

May 22nd, 2017by whitewater

“Nobody will love you, until you love yourself”

         That is such, such a scary thought.

If I can’t love myself, if I physically, literally can’t, then what’s my point? Companionship is at the base of a human’s needs, so what happens when we don’t have it? I know for me, it kills you the same way a lack of food will. It will be the same thoughts running through your head; you know the position you are in, but you can’t do anything. You won’t do anything. You know what will happen if you don’t, yet there

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2

brain junk

May 22nd, 2017by plasticflower

words won’t come out.
talking and expressing anything seems like too much work, or like something too complicated that i can’t figure out.
and when i do try to reach out and open up to others, it always goes wrong. i try telling someone about the panic attack i had, and they assume i’m lying and then proceed to tell me i’m not trying hard enough, and that only makes everything harder for everyone. they tell me to try harder.
i thought i was trying my best. and i was. but it seems like, once again, my best wasn’t enough.
i tried to open up, and …

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3

Finals

May 22nd, 2017by lxmyrick

For all of use in college, high school, or even middle school,  this is probably the hardest time of the years.

 

I am SO stressed out right now.  Iget about 4 hours of sleep with no caffeine, boring classes with everything being crammed inside my head.  And most of the things we learn in high school is never used unless for a job.  I am so stressed like I said.  I have no idea on how to calm down about this stress.  For any of those who a good in school or know how to mange stress, can you give me some tips.

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40

Cemetery On The Hill

May 22nd, 2017by _Angel_x

Walked out of class because I couldn’t stop crying the moment I arrived. What’s wrong with me ?

I went to the cemetery on the hill my favourite place to go. And I just lay on top of an above the ground grave. And I cried.

I cried until I was numb.
I cried until I was screaming.

Then I just lay there. In silence. The wind blowing on my skin and the sun beating down on me.

I couldn’t really feel it but I didnt care. Because this was the first time I had felt at peace in weeks.

I lay there limp and emotionless. Anyone walking past would’ve …

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9

my worth is in the comments

May 22nd, 2017by Milestiba

I am so stupid. All my life, I have measured my worth on the comments. Now, with social media, it is exemplified.

And I am a blood sucking parasite. I suck the life out of those who show me any attention. I can’t help myself. It is an addictive compulsion.

They tell me it is explained as Borderline Personality Disorder, but I call it torture. Both for me and the other person. The world would be better off without me.

Where can I find the resolve to finally commit suicide? The pain is all-consuming… overpowering… causing constant despair.

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2

39 days left

May 21st, 2017by ShiSui

I feel like jumping out of my skin today because it’s getting harder and harder to cope with my unaware narcissistic fake ***** “oh but I’m your mother I gave birth to you” mother. It takes more than giving birth to be a mother, she really was just a stupid snotty girl in an adult body raising me. Hereditary wise she’s the reason I am the way I am. That’s not why I hate her, I hate her because of the acting like an do it all angel in front of others and a fucking mentally abusive demon behind closed doors. I heard boys with …

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3

Trapped and tortured but “only temporarily”

May 20th, 2017by Velveteen Human

I seriously wonder how I can make it another two and a half months here. Today it feels like a new ulcer ripped open in my stomach. She went to a friend’s wedding (must be nice), leaving me here with the puppy all day, and it’s driving me fucking insane. I can’t color or draw because it keeps jumping on me and would mess it up, can’t read because it keeps whining and being so distracting I can’t focus… so basically any distracting and soothing activities are impossible. Let alone trying to be productive, like starting to go through my stuff to prepare for …

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