Why is it when you suddenly die, everyone is like oh “she was so loved” or “I’m going to miss her”. Am I the only one thinking you’ll miss throwing stuff at her and posting on the hate page you created about her. I guess once you die people just love to hear “I’m so sorry for your loss” and get attention off of your death at least that’s what they’re doing with hers.
I’m still alive. I dunno how, but I am. I exist. I am not a figment of my own imagination, as that would not make much sense.
If I said I talked to a girl today, would that seem weird? I don’t think it would. I do it all the time. There are several I know whom I really like. Never as anything more than acquaintances or friends, but that feeling may not always be mutually shared. It’s hard to tell. I’m like a cat in this arena. Give me too much attention and I’ll want nothing to do with you. It’s just how I’m wired. …
Two of my most recent posts got deleted I believe because I was linking to other websites. I know that this place is a safe space where I can vent out my frustrations without judgement, so I’m going to try again.
As I said, I don’t think I love my mother anymore. I wish I could make her see what she needs to reap when I heard that Trump is “transporting thousands of immigrant children into camp cities.” I outright said that I wanted to punch her. She chose Trump over her own autistic asexual child.
Trump turned my own people against each other as well as …
I can not get over it, that things will never be fair. I’m too sensitive about everything. I’m in chronic pain and Doctors could never help me. Or maybe I think I just couldn’t help myself. For 9 years I’m into this Depression and it just got worse. It started early in school, that I realized that something was not right. About me and the tiring reality to go to school everyday. Other Kids seemed so careless. I came too late everyday. It started with 5 Minutes, then 10, then 30 and sometimes I missed the first period. I think I must be a broken …
I’m in that point of life when I could no longer feel the sadness, no longer feel the pain. I could no longer feel anything. Its like I’m just numb. Just drifting into the darkness that had broken me more times that I could count. So much pain, I wished for it all to disappear. I wanted to escape, because I am too much a coward to face it. I guess I got my wish, then.
They said your family, friends, or someone in this world
There must be someone who can help you
No..
Ive tried it..
I try to tell them but they are not there
I try to tell my friends but they got annoyed and leave me at the end
I try to tell my mom but she just said get over it
I try to tell my sister but she just said im stress too
I try to tell my dad but he said you are worthy try your best
Im trying but i never been there
What I want to be
What I want to have
Kill me
Please kill me
Please
They said the one you left will have …
…
No they’re not.
If you ever try to criticize me for advocating for myself, whether it be through feminism or something else, I’ll make you pay.
_______________
If you have ever been to the hate-group known as DeviantArt, you’ll know what I am about to get into.
I am an autistic asexual, and I am full of ideas. I dream everyday and night of worlds where nothing exists and yet everything exists. I dream of worlds that defy logic and characters that follow their own reasoning. For example, what if there was a world out there that was basically a living videogame? What if this world was in a …
i know a music thread with 60000 posts.
this page here is different. 2 user do not make of about 20% of that entries, guessed.
it is impossible to have a overview about. do you think that’s with the no partners rule?
i’m critical about if I use this page right or if the support can explain me. i maybe just lack suicidality and fear of free things..
When I finally think I found the person(s) in my life to help me through hardships and show me that I can trust others again, I’m let down. Again. And again. And again. It’s to the point we’re I’m completely numb to it. I tell myself “You know it’s coming, it’s only a matter of time.” Then, eventually it happens. I tried to tell him that what he thought wasn’t true. That I just want him to understand. That I did appreciate him, but I need time for myself. He keeps thinking I’m making excuses not to talk to him. “You just don’t want to …
This isn’t about suicide but this is more or less a rant about my older brother owing me money that he’ll never be able to pay me back which I am tired of having an older brother who can’t be responsible for his own actions and keeps asking me for money I am tired having to see things from his perspective about the choices which led to his mistakes which has its own consequences one thing we humans don’t always realize is that yes we choose our own mistakes due to our own poor reasonsing or judgement or whatever the point is that it is …
For decades now, people have asserted that I have the right to be abused, misrepresented, and et cetera.
This pisses me off so much.
I have been demonized for who I am since elementary school for my autism. I’ve been demonized since middle school for questioning my sexuality. I’ve been demonized since high school for not believing in God.
Now, that I’m in college and have to deal with the “alt-right” calling me a “millennial special snowflake triggered cancer SJW” for just being who I am, I’m going to say loud and proud that I HATE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
Here come the mobs calling me a Nazi.
I say thanks …
I was helping some newish people at work last night. This girl was doing extra work for no reason, i told them nicely that they didnt need to do that (didnt explain that we didnt have time to clean that spot for ao long, we were pretty busy).The chick stared at me, mumbled and continued to take her sweet ass time. Im tired of being disrespected. Im a senior worker. I thought that would mean something to someone, but it never does. It just makes me over think my life. Ive stayed up all night. I coulsnt sleep so now i had to go have …
I’m sorry I’m ugly
I’m sorry I’m useless
I’m sorry that I’m not smarter
I’m sorry that I’m not more athletic
I’m sorry for being so annoying
I’m sorry for being a piece of shit
I’m sorry that I’m not better at my job
I’m sorry that I’m fat
I’m sorry that I can’t cook better meals
I’m sorry that weak
I’m sorry that I’m emotional
I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic
I’m sorry to anyone that has to deal with me
I’m sorry that I exist
Seriously.
Shut up.
There is an old quote that I have very easily warmed up to, and it goes that smaller minds discuss people, things, and events while the better minds discuss ideas. I don’t know who originally said this, but I feel that is strongly correlates to a number of issues I’ve got with certain forms of entertainment. I may sound like hypocrite because I myself am discussing a certain type of people, but the idea behind it bears word that needs to be spoken now more than ever.
You read the title of this rant so I am going to cut to the chase. Can people …
I’ve been beatin
I’ve been shamed
I’ve been lost for so long
My family doesn’t know me
My friends aren’t there anymore
I don’t know where to go
I don’t know…………
This conversation took place in my mind today:
Me- Wow, this Jell-o sure is tasty.
Ideation- You should definitely kill yourself right now. With that spoon.
Me- Literally??? I was talking about Jell-o??? Why are you like this???
Depression- No, no, he has a good point.
do these countless hours and years of self-deprivation mean anything?
do i not matter if i was not thin to begin with? do i not matter if i eat?
is my sickness real? am i sick at all?
i need to cut now
but i have a thing next weekend that has me showing my arms, and i dont want to cut anywhere else
it feels good to cut my arm
theres still scars from 8 months ago
i dont know if the boy i think i love cares enough
i want to delete all my social medias and stop talking to people
i want to sleep
and not have to worry about school or work
or family
we are dying
i hate it here
I hate my mother. She among others say life is worth living, however from what I see and what I am, I cannot imagine a greater punishment than can be inflicted on a person than life itself. I wish I was that baby she aborted, I’d prefer them to deal with life’s awfulness, instead of me. Why did I have to be born, I don’t understand. I definitely hate my father. He is a foul, lowlife, useless piece of trash that disgraces the concrete and carpet he walks on. That fact this fraud is my father is shameful and disturbing. I hate them for creating …
When New Years Eve arrives, IF it arrives for me, I think I will be very happy to say goodbye to 2018, because this year has been the most difficult and painful year of my entire life.
The despair hit me again a couple of days ago. Every time the despair hits, it wears me down a little bit more, and sometimes I think there will be nothing left. And this time the despair was pretty bad. On the one-to-ten scale of despair, this was about an eight. But it’s starting to lift a bit. I hope I can hold on. If I don’t, I think …
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