Rants

7

Why?

January 20th, 2017by lxmyrick

Why is high school so importent.  I plan to go to a tech school to learn certain skills, but me learning how to talk to someone from another country doesn’t matter.  For example, I have to be active, so I can”t be an office all day as a job and my learning algabra 2 doesn’t hep me reach my goal of being in and active job.  Another example is that I want to be a medical doctor, but me learning how to paint doesn’t help.  So I wish high school wasn’t required to get a career because a lot the thing I have learn or …

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1

Frustrating. When Life Keeps Betraying You Even After Death. “A Ballad of Life: Aram Niakan’s Suicide Story.”

It’s a slap on the face. It’s fu*king insulting how some unfortunate ones are screwed over in death, just as they were in life. There are so many places/countries where they don’t give a rat’s ass for somebody’s last will that it’s enraging..!

4

Such a Lonely Day… Should be Banned.

“Such a lonely day. And it’s mine.” For crying out loud. Literally. It’s barely past noon and I’m sinking within me again. Hadn’t felt like this in a couple of weeks and here it goes again. It’s come to the point where I guess I must accept the fact that I struggling with depressive episodes… […]

3

It’s Back

January 16th, 2017by Casino96

It’s back. In a few weeks, if I had to guess, it’ll be back in full force. I could only get 4 hours of sleep at a time, which is a change up from easily managing 8-10. I can feel walls closing in and for whatever reason I can’t stop thinking about cutting, despite it being almost 8 months since the last time. I can feel the colors getting muted again and I’m losing patience with mundane things. I’m beginning to wonder if seasons play a role since the worst time of the year for my depression has consistently been the first several months of the …

4

The Funniest Joke, The Second Installment of My Worthless Existence

January 15th, 2017by AKidWithAName

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my near-monthly shout into the void called the internet! Today, we present the second installment of a worthless piece of dog shit trying to reconcile their guilty conscience to no avail!

God, I am such a freak show. I’m not even saying this shit to be “edgy” or whatever. I am actually fucking hilarious to watch. I’ve been replaying memories of my worthless life and let me tell ya, it could win a fucking comedy award. Hok shit.

So, first, I honestly thought that my parents wanted me. Holy fuck, that was a good one. My parents? Ha. Wanting me? God, it’s …

10

Worthless

January 15th, 2017by beautifulsinner

i am so fucking worthless. from my head to my toes, i hate myself. i care for people who dont care about me, and maybe thats my problem. maybe thats why i feel so worthless.

it hurts when you know that youre always the one there for your friends. whether its 2am or 2pm, youre there. dropping what your doing to support them, because thats the kind of person you are. the kind that cares too much and falls in love too hard. maybe the reason why im always there for people is because i never want them to feel as alone as i do. because …

9

My Story

January 14th, 2017by 90Grayson

Hello everyone, my name is Daniel, and I think I’m going to commit suicide very shortly, I want to anyways, not sure if I will though, since things in life change so much, but I hope that moment arrives in a week or two. I don’t know where to start, I’m done trying to figure out why I’m like this, why I have suicidal thoughts, why I cut myself, why I feel so much pain all the time. It sucks, it really sucks to be this way, I don’t believe in destiny, but I cannot avoid feeling like I am trapped, and have absolutely no …

14

Death Need Not Be a Sad Thing

Ok, so yes we all know why we are here on TSP. One way or another, we’re all SPians. But if you were to go (and we all will someday) but had the time and opportunity to give your departure a funny or humorous twist, what would that be? You know, you get the last […]

5

2 steps forward, 1 step backward

January 13th, 2017by beautifulsinner

every time i think things are getting better, they just go to shit again. i just want to fucking feel happy in my life, but apparently fate doesnt want that for me. i continuously ask myself, why arent i good enough? why am i such a fuck up. why cant i do anything right. you see, i have a boyfriend who ive been with for nine months now. i can just feel him getting tired of my shit. i say i love you to him and he doesnt say it back. he doesnt even seem to give a fuck about me anymore. i mean hes …

7

Real

January 12th, 2017by chr0me

It’s hard to explain what’s going on in my mind right now. Today is the first day that I’ve ever looked on any “pro-suicide” websites. The thing was, as I was in line to get lunch, I was probably standing next to people worried about whether or not they’re going to make rent this month or if their spouse will remember their anniversary. And then there was me, doing research on how best to end my life. What really gets me though, is that even though I have so much in common with everyone posting and replying and surfing through here, I still felt so …

2

What have I done.

January 12th, 2017by xxcora

I don’t know how long it has been since I crushed, snorted and swallow all the Adderall pills I could find and any other as well. I apologize if this seems incoherent or miss spelled I could be reacting to the Adderall. Adderall is prescribed to me so it wasn’t hard to get, other than the fact they won’t give me more than once a day. So, I started saving them up every day for the past few weeks or days? I have no idea if it’s enough. I read someone where if you snort the pills you are more likely to overdose so that’s what …

5

Weak

January 10th, 2017by amarie75

feeling low today.

was called weak for leaving public school to go through another program that will get me through. evidently with the fact that I couldn’t go through with it makes me lower than everyone else.

was told that I give up too easily, but I’m not giving up.. if anything I’m working my hardest to get through and graduate.

at the same time though, maybe I am weak. looking back on things, I usually have to choose an alternate route because I cannot handle a lot of things, especially here lately.

I thought, if anything, this person would be ecstatic that I’m not choosing to drop out …

4

he scares me

January 9th, 2017by l8za

Tonight My boyfriend said we should have a break. And he isn’t the easy type. He used to deal and smoke the green. But what didn’t change is if you got him mad he would take out a knife and cut you im not saying he hurt me in that way. But now Ina few days he’s going in town to finish a lad up and he’s taking a gun. I’m scared he knows that but I’m seeing him tomorrow in school what do I say… I want him back….

2

stopping the stigma on mental illness or suicide prevention?

January 7th, 2017by beautifulsinner

every person on this planet has problems. issues of their own that they wish werent existent in their lives. some have bigger problems than others, but we shouldnt be allowed to dismiss other peoples problems just because they dont seem “big enough”. big or small, problems are problems, and my question is; why do we have to feel guilty about feeling emotion over issues that seem irrelevant.

we should be allowed to feel however we want to feel. a major problem to someone, might be considered a minor one to another. but we shouldnt be allowed to judge people based on that. emotions are something …

3

Alpha Cluster F€ck?

January 7th, 2017by slitmelife

Ok: let me start by stating 

I suffer from Bipolar Depression diagnosed over 13years ago and last therapy session that I actually went to and could afford 2006! The self – medicating sh*t lasts only but so long!

I have a turmoil “we should be a murder- suicide”any minute relationship but decent no cops called.

Its like high school bullying with a side of manipulation with sexual contact on the rarity.  Real f€cking great example just like our parents weren’t.  Lol ?

I would like to just End him,but that’s just sh*t I am writing. Only person I be ever managed to hurt is myself and deeply it seems.

We …

9

Got to thinking

January 5th, 2017by mysteriousvisitor

Sometimes various posts, comments, and conversations on here really get me to thinking about something. Today this came to mind:

We tend to dislike ourselves, often because we either have something diagnosed wrong with us or we just believe there’s something wrong with us. But aren’t people who have problems (physical and mental), as well as the problems themselves, necessary for survival?

Note: I’m using the term selfish here in the broadest sense of the word, and not to mean those who care only about themselves at the cost of others.

Here’s why I say that:

1. When we decide what is undesirable and weak, it is a selfish …

0

Some pain is worse than other pain

January 5th, 2017by Scarredsoul

No, the pain of not getting to go out when you wanted to is not as bad as the pain of losing someone you love. No, you don’t have the right to act as if these small things you call “first world problems” are as bad as it gets. There is a fine line between inconvenience and pain. Between a small glitch in a normal to semi good day and having to refrain from the extreme urge to kill yourself. I’m so young, but I could swear I’ve felt the slits of the blood sea’s razor and have checked into hell too many times to …

1

Endless thinking

January 4th, 2017by emptinessinme

I’m staring at my wall. I feel exhausted even though I haven’t done much today. Depression gets more tiring everyday.

I’m constantly asking myself is this my life? Is this what I really want? I want to escape and then again I don’t. I dream of being free in nature and hoping that would make me happy. Really, what makes me happy about that dream is knowing I would not last long.

I don’t know what love is. The only way I can understand love is if it hurts. I see my “ex” has moved on. He’s had about 3 girlfriends since me. I put …

1

Where to go from here

January 3rd, 2017by Unknownmystery

2016 was such a shit year. I lost my home, my partner went to prison, my family got seperated and my car wrecked….. Ive also been sexually abused, and sexually harrassed. I dont feel like moving forward. Every relationship i try to get in is almost impossible to try and make it work. Ifeel like that person is trying to take over my life or try to be very controlling.. I was in a controlled relationship for 7yrs so of course thats my only default. Wtf to do.. Im loosing my mind and i just want to leave this world.

2

What to do? Death?

January 3rd, 2017by lxmyrick

Hey SP,

I post rarely, but when I do, it is normally impotent to me.  I understand if no one once to hear me, I’m used to it, but if you read this, please help.

So I doing a bunch of midterm, and I don’t give a fuck.  There are so many things that are learned in school that is a waste of time.  For example, foreign language even though today’s modern day uses technology.  Also I am not a dummy, but I’m not a genius, but everyone wants me be a straight A student.  I have a few choices in life, but not enough to control …