Rants

8

Dreamt of a utopia…

  April 21st, 2019 by Yoges

Suicide is the routine. The balancing act. No one left behind hurts and mourns. The worlds move on.

Death is not news anymore. Life goes on. The value of existence is relative. Meaning of life is what one assigns it.

Winners live and breed. Losers bow out with dignity. All fair game. Humanity doesn’t need so many of its kind; only a few harbingers of the voyage into the future. Let their tribe increase. All the rest are dispensable.

They who know their role in the cosmic play (or lack thereof) are free to slip behind the curtains of being. The audience and the critics of society pay [...]
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0

Tired Of Being Covered-Up

  April 19th, 2019 by Ctrieddamnit

Not sure what I’m hoping for, writing this. Just need to vent, I guess.

Basically, I’m just sick and tired of people in power going out of their way to cover up the fact that people like me exist. That is people who are unapologetically suicidal and can compellingly demonstrate that our desire to die is rational and justified.

Last year, my government ran yet another inquiry into a particular sub-area of the mental health crisis in our country. In my country, anyone can make a submission to most government inquiries, expressing their views, ect., and expect those submissions to be acknowledged by the government and published [...]
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4

drained.

  April 15th, 2019 by closetedw0rds

hi, my name is milo.

 

i tend to hide my emotions and bottle them up until i break. everyday i force myself to get up and go to school and do what needs to be done. i’m okay throughout the day but as soon as i’m alone and it’s nighttime i breakdown. i cry myself to sleep everytime i realize that nothing is going to get better. i’ve been in the same spot for over 5 years now and nothing has changed. i was sexually assaulted by my ex-best friend, constantly being blamed for things that weren’t my fault, and my boyfriend of almost 2 years [...]
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6

Save me before it’s too late

  April 15th, 2019 by TheSadAngel

I once decided to end my life at March 15. But then some things have turned upside down and I decided to live. But now, a month after that day, I decided to end my life too. Not now, I say, but soon. Soon. What I have in my mind is after my boyfriend and I’s anniversary, May 17. I just want to feel what it’s like to have a one year relationship. I just want to make him feel loved too, even for one last time. But if things goes out of planned, then maybe earlier. I just need to finish this school year, [...]
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3

Emotions suck

  April 14th, 2019 by mina711

I’ve been looking for ways to numb myself. I get absolutely nowhere. It’s not fair, I just wanna be numb. I don’t wanna make an effort to even feel better anymore. I just wanna stop feeling emotion.

I hate being brokenhearted over my ex. I hate being stressed about going off to college. I hate that painful lump in my throat I get from crying. I hate the cold sweat I break into when I’m anxious. I hate the fire that burns in my heart. I want to be dormant and freeze my heart up for good.

I want to die, but I fear the afterlife. My [...]
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0

  April 13th, 2019 by mylifesucks

i’m such a disappointment. my first semester in college i did shit. i was put on academic probation and i have yet to tell anyone, not even my parents. i’m going to fail out of college because i’m so fucking dumb. i either don’t get anything or i’m just stupid and too depressed to get up and do my shit. i have no fucking job cause i’m dumb. i have no one, no friends to talk to. i’ve been relying  on apps to meet people and even then i somehow disappoint them. ill probably end up lonely since i’m too fucking scared to kill myself [...]
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11

Is procreation a moral obligation?

  April 8th, 2019 by Yoges

It might not seem relevant on this forum, but I got to the question upon thinking all night about my death. I need to know opinions of wannabedeads like me.

What do you think? I guess it is.


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3

Getting It All Out There

  April 7th, 2019 by Mars_42

I think I was 6 or 7 the first time I considered suicide. I really didn’t want to go to swim class–such a stupid, stupid reason to want to die. Nevertheless, I locked myself in my room and considered how to kill myself. I decided on a knife. I wanted to slice myself open. The knives were in the kitchen, though. I put on my swim suite and went to class. But from that day on, death was in the back of my mind. By the age of 10, I was mentally rehearsing my suicide note nightly and crying myself to sleep. My room was [...]
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2

Thoughts.

  April 4th, 2019 by anonymous7777

Every single day, a thought of me committing suicide or me simply not being here.. crosses my mind.

I want to obtain happiness within, but the darkness/sadness wins every time. It’s hard to walk up a very steep hill with 20tons on your back.

My thoughts are always with me, I cannot escape them.

my thoughts hurt me. actions hurt me. everything hurts.


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1

Not Important.

  April 4th, 2019 by anonymous7777

I am currently a senior in high school. As the time went on throughout my high school years, I slowly started to gather information and reasoning on why I don’t need to be here anymore. I don’t feel important and there have been so many incidences where I was not remembered by the people I thought would. My “friends” all worry about each other, but when it comes to me I am nothing nor a thought. I have a multitude of stress at home to go along with my sadness and it just becomes too overwhelming. I also have work that kicks me while I’m [...]
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3

I don’t believe in friendship

  April 3rd, 2019 by Walkingghoul1739

This summer, two friends of mine seemed to become overly skeptical of me…. They seemed to always hint and nudge that they felt that I was a “*****”. I went from enjoying spending time with each of them to only seeing them grow more and more restless and uneasy around me and seeming to insult me at any given opportunity, and often for no reason at all.

One day I got sick of it and stopped talking to each of them. I went from hanging out with these 2 kids that I had been best friends with since pre school (we are now 23) almost every [...]
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4

I feel bad… yet angry

  April 2nd, 2019 by ariusversea

I don’t want to bother anyone with my problem. And yet I feel as if I’ll explode. For the past week, I’ve had to watch my abuser walk down my same hallways, spend quality time with his friends in his new clothes (guess his mom spoiled him), while I with in my usual frustration, jumpy whenever I feel anyone come near me, wanting to run away and having no one that understands because I CAN’T TELL.

but what if i killed myself? what if i fell out the window? in my letter, i’d blame everyone that protected him, everyone that made me feel like i [...]
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3

Dear my “best friend”.

  April 2nd, 2019 by strawberrycrown

I hope you know I’m never asking you to see me again. I’m afraid to call you now because I’m being “annoying”. I’m not going to be making any effort anymore, that’s up to you. Things have been said, hurtful things – and with no explaination. I don’t have much trust for many people anymore but I thought you were one of the good ones. I hope you know that you make me fore more ashamed and embarrassed of myself than you think of me. I want you to know that you are the reason for my pain Rn. I want you to know that I [...]
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2

anorexia and love

  March 31st, 2019 by lostcase

hey, i wanted to ask this for a while and i searched lots and i never found a proper answer, so basically the girl i love has anorexia , its quite serious and no matter how much she sometimes reaches with recovery whenever she sees her weight up she’d freak out and goes back to giving up and wanting to die. i realllly want to help her, she gets treatment and all but they are pushing her so much and i know its too much and i want to tell her that she needs to recover without me pushing her more. how can i ? [...]
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1

Well I guess you could say I don’t entirely understand my past. I got abused by my mother had bully’s as friends and well I was scared. Now I have ptsd ,panic attacks daily, and cry everyday. But more of the problem is that I have a lot of false memories ,probably to cope with reality, I can’t tell the difference between life and dreams most days. That causes problems. Losing a pen causes a mental breakdown because I can’t understand what is real. I can’t put up with it. I want to die. I don’t want to cut myself. I have before ,but what […]

12

religion and suicide

  March 27th, 2019 by lostcase

I know its dumb but no one ever talks about this. as for me i am a religious person somehow and i dont need to mention my religion, but the thing is allll religions viewed suicide as a sin , as someone disobeying and taking away life, and i do understand that so very much but ,, what if one wants to die so so so much . its very sad to see one fighting themselves like this, for me i hate myself more because i want to die then wish to die more, isnt that stupid and pathetic. what is this way of living? [...]
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9

for what it’s worth

  March 27th, 2019 by lostcase

it feels gloomy and everyone is sad. you cannot mention being sad anymore cuz everyone wants to die and it sucks way too much. why are we all so sad? and the thing is when someone i care about tells me they want to die i understand them way too much that i cant convince them not to. same with ana my lover and one of my great friends have it and they dont want to recover and i absolutely get them. but they cant stay like this. wheres the magic recipe to fix this broken world.


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2

For, how many days can I hibernate before people forget my existence? But would it really be such a bad thing?

  March 26th, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

People don’t really get it. It’s easy for me to put a smile on my face and tell people I’m fine. It just feels like hell dragging myself out of bed to do it. I get stuck in a situation of ‘no, I haven’t left my bed in four days, haven’t showered or eaten a decent meal but yes I’m fine, can’t you see the smile on my face?’ Lying is easy. Recently I feel completely unmotivated, numb, bored, tired and solitary. In fact, pretending to be OK is the only real relief. At least then I can feel like I’m worth something, others can [...]
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6

Crazy

  March 23rd, 2019 by Unsheard

I think I’m going insane, I can’t think of anything but hurting other people and hurting myself. I have people I care about and I don’t want to disappoint them but I can’t get the thought of blood out of my brain.


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3

So, today was even worse.

  March 23rd, 2019 by crazykidfrommars

I survived. The iron didn’t kill me, just made me ill. I texted all my friends to let them know I survived to their relief. Everything seemed to be okay afterwards.

Then, there’s today. I mean, yesterday was terrible because my father’s dog is seriously ill and had diarrhea. Since its in the house, it had a lot of crap everywhere that required a lot of cleaning and time. I was also sick after my attempt so that was added to the mess.

But, at least no one was fighting each other.

Today was a nightmare from hell. My father was pissy, I couldn’t stop crying, my [...]
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