Category:

I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

4 years later.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 6/14/2022

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

The last time I posted on here was back in 2018.. Since then so much has changed. I was in a shitty relationship for 2 years that went to shit, I graduated high school which I thought I never would and I made it past 18 years. I went through hell during the last two years of high school would be an understatement but I am past that now and do not want to relive it. I stopped counting how long I am clean of cutting for and would not be able to give you an estimate. I do rely on other coping mechanisms that […]

6/14/2022 2 comments

I’m 40 years old this year, and I still don’t know what to do, and whether I should continue to live, or just die?

by niki 4/25/2022

written by niki

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

4/25/2022 4 comments

Illusion of happiness

by destined to lose 4/24/2022

written by destined to lose

Happiness or pleasure is like any other addictive substance..

It gives you a high and then when you don’t have it you can’t live without it.. Now all you want is a little bit more of it..

Then you promise yourself that you will stay happy no matter what… Whatever may happen the worst of the worst but you still believe that someday everything will be perfect as you have always wanted and prayed for…

And that day hopefully you can feel something inside of you… Don’t know what it is but all I hope is it’s not happiness.. The illusion of happiness

4/24/2022 0 comment

I want it to be over

by canadiantragedy 4/23/2022

written by canadiantragedy 4 read

Im a 22 year old guy whos incredibly lonlely. I’ve somewhat lost my mother to a terminal illness that caused my dad to leave when i was 14. None the less ive had a few relationships in between but one of them ended up cheating on me and the other was a cocaine addict. None the less i am sad,, alone and want to kill myself. Ive been suicidal for years and years but couldn’t leave my mom like my dad did. Now that her illness is closing in on her and things are getting shorter, i feel less of an obligation to […]

4/23/2022 0 comment

Exhausting

by locy_1 4/2/2022

written by locy_1

Utterly annoyed with life. I can not even talk to my spouse about any coping mechanism I use as to not yell or scream or hit…. without him getting triggered and abusive. I can not live like this anymore.

I want to run. Run until I can find an end. Run away over the streets, the cars, the houses… run away from everything and everyone. I will run. I will live. I will not give into any death call or abuse. I will survive!

But, until I can run I will stay here taking care of my little one. making her life better and get her away […]

4/2/2022 1 comment

To Be Happy

by locy_1 3/23/2022

written by locy_1

I am so frustrated with life. I can not help the urge to end it all. I barley sleep. I only eat because I have to raise my 21 month old ensuring she is healthy to have a happier life than me… Every night I want to get up out of my bed, grab a knife, and stab myself… but I can not. I have to many obligations to this world that I put on myself. I hate it here. I really want to leave. I want life to be easier. Even if I didn’t have all these things going on in my life, I […]

3/23/2022 2 comments

Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

by mortalcode 2/15/2022

written by mortalcode 2-3 min read

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]

2/15/2022 1 comment

I wish, I wish upon a star

by bleedingheart 2/3/2022

written by bleedingheart

I just wish my mom would try to understand my emotional pain. I wish she would support me emotionally. I wish she would tell me she loves me. I wish she wouldn’t put me down. I wish she wouldn’t judge me. I wish she could see the hurt she causes me. I wish I could hate her. I wish and wish and wish for the impossible when it comes to her. I know full well she isn’t the type of person I wish she could be. I know she doesn’t do it on purpose, it’s more like she’s blunt and doesn’t have a filter when […]

2/3/2022 3 comments

Just a random post

by freakinLadybird 1/19/2022

written by freakinLadybird 3 mins read

This is my first post. Everything is quite disorganize and I don’t know how to present my thoughts appropriately + being intoxicated with Vodka. I apologize to all readers in advance. Really, I am sorry.

So…I am a 20ish person trying to get into a graduate program. Since the program is research related, I am in the process of writing a proposal to get into a master program. Wrote the first draft… well that turned out as a disaster. Was told that it was too undergraduate quality. I knew I was never the smart enough for academic stuff. Even stayed behind for a year during high […]

1/19/2022 0 comment

read this if you’re struggling.

by zy 12/6/2021

written by zy

I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single […]

12/6/2021 8 comments

No One to Blame

by mmmm 12/3/2021

written by mmmm

Maybe, it is me who is my own culprit, it is my fault that I did not act the way I was supposed to in order to survive in this cruel world. Maybe, everything that is bothering me is just an illusion, it is a noise coming from my mind that is making me feel worthless, reminding me constantly of all my flaws and insecurities. Maybe, I wronged myself by having expectations on others, hoping they would understand me, hoping that they will turn out the way I want , hoping they will bring happiness and well-being in my life. Maybe, I should have learned […]

12/3/2021 2 comments

love sucks

by wasabi_peas 11/29/2021

written by wasabi_peas

I had been wanting to die for about 6 years now. It still feels so normal. The intrusive thoughts of self harm, the gut wrenching pain of existing, the struggle to be productive, and my self hatred all feel like they have always been there, I forget what life was like without them. It took me a very long time to realize I needed help, to realize that I was allowed to feel this way and to begin to alter my mindset. However, now that I have, I am scared that it might have been too late. My boyfriend has helped a lot. I feel […]

11/29/2021 1 comment

Is there a way to live when you don’t want to?

by idontbelonghereanymore 11/29/2021

written by idontbelonghereanymore

I don’t want to live, but I can’t die. I don’t want to live but I have to. How long can someone live in this state until you decide it’s the end? Do people who kill themselves do it impulsively? Can it be planned? I don’t want to plan my death, but sometimes I get intrusive thoughts (come on, jump under that bus! Or why not take all the pills you can find!), and I’m wondering if one day I’ll act on it impulsively, or if deep down, I have been planning my death since the day I was born.

11/29/2021 6 comments

Fuck It.

by Melon_Lord 11/28/2021

written by Melon_Lord

I’m so angry.
I’m SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME.
I feel like the whole world is against me, but you know what?
At this point, I’ve had the biggest epiphany. I don’t care anymore.

Imagine that.
Do, whatever the fuck you want.
Be a slut, dress how you want. Be an asshole, be kind, go out at night. get drunk, fall in love, make huge mistakes, lose and gain friends, burn bridges.
I don’t care what your parents say.
Do it.
Fucking do it, cause you know what, you only live once and no one is going to hear about us in those […]

11/28/2021 1 comment

I haven’t posted here in awhile

by fukedupagain341 11/15/2021

written by fukedupagain341

Was going through my email and found an old email from this website. Holy hell it’s been years. Things got better and things got worse. The sad thing is the feeling of wanting to kill myself never left. But I have decided to live for those around me. Those who enjoy seeing me and my time. But i know when I get home I always make my peace with leaving them. I always know they’ll be okay when I’m gone. I’m not that important to anyone. I stopped being important long ago. I used to be sad my ex girlfriend left me and cheated on […]

11/15/2021 1 comment

Current Reasons not to kill myself

by Makenzie_1644 11/9/2021

written by Makenzie_1644

I don’t want to leave my favorite coworker. She’s slowly become my best friend over the last two months, and I don’t want to leave her.
My cousin. He’s an only child and I’ve taken on the role of older sibling to him so that he has some form of positive influence in his life.
My brother. I want to rebuild my relationship with my older brother. We haven’t spoken in over five years, but I want to reconnect with him and I know I can’t do that if I’m gone.
I want to spend as much time as I can with my family’s dog before he’s gone.
As […]

11/9/2021 0 comment

none of it “really” matters

by hhrrccaa 11/4/2021

written by hhrrccaa

I read this essay called “On Stress” by Gwern, which basically talked about how little it takes to actually survive and be okay. I’m not sure how accurate he is. But I think we overestimate how much we “need”. Right now, I feel really stressed with school, and I keep thinking, is this really necessary? I don’t want to be stressed, and I don’t need to be stressed. I’m not sure, because I still “feel” like I should continue to stay in school. I guess, it’s more like realizing, I have the choice of whether I want to stress out about school or not. And […]

11/4/2021 0 comment

Disappointment.

by Melon_Lord 10/25/2021

written by Melon_Lord

I don’t want to disappoint them.
It’s to the point where I don’t even care about my own health and well being anymore.
Although….when will it be enough for you?

When will I be enough?

10/25/2021 0 comment

fucked head

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

when i used to self harm i used to hit my head a lot, i didnt think of it that much back then but now i see the result. probably any type of self harm is better than hitting ur head, i suffer from memory loss, but no one would probably believe me, i dont even remember basic stuff such as what happened the day before, what somebody told me or things that i did, i may sound dramatic but its worse than it sounds. i dont remember how i started it but i did it everytime my mom was bitching about smth that ive […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

Venting about school

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

theres nothing to do anymore, nothing is fun, im stressing over the exams that we will have and lots of shit that we will have to do and who knows maybe i wont get accepted to that highschool that i wanted to go to and ill have to ruin my high school experience and most likely life because of it. u dont know how much i suffer from anxiety everyday, no one understands me, it hurts, i cover my ears and try not to cry and freak out from loud people, im slowly losing myself. i keep snapping and having break downs, i was happy […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

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