I Will Survive

     I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single person on this earth who has NEVER been sad? or insecure? do you think everyone else is happy except for yourself? I completely understand what you’re going through but you need to understand that we’re put on this earth for a reason, idc if its god or the big bang but it’s amazing how there’s so much stuff out there in the big universe and we EXIST in it – why would you blow that all off just because a few people in your small town insult your looks? When I’m feeling down, my mindset is not “poor me” or “I’m never going to be happy” (although it used to), instead you should think “I control myself, I can do literally anything i want”. WHO controls you other than yourself? Well other than certain parents/gaurdians and the law, you can do anything you imagine… if you want to be a singer, start practicing. If you want to be a scientist, get on with it. If things were easy, life would be hella boring. When you look at other people, do you think “omg they’re super ugly, they shouldn’t exist on this earth, they’re worthless, they will never be happy, they should k*ll themselves, etc.”??? If anyone ever actually thinks that…that would be a mental problem of their own. But literally y’all need to quit being self-centered because your life is in your own hands. yes, some people may seem to have it easier BUT many people also tend to be better at hiding their personal problems. Another thing to keep in mind is that good ALWAYS comes after bad, everybody has ups and downs, some will have it worse, but everybody is different. You shouldn’t let yourself get down so easily, you shouldn’t end it all because of a person who appears prettier because you literally do not know what they are going through. Prettiness isn’t everything, and there are almost 8 billion people on this earth, you will find your crowd + people who accept you. 

+ when I’m at school I’m usually on the more quiet side bc I genuinely cannot bring myself to speak up, but instead I hear in on everyone elses conversations and actually half the time they’re complaining about… “ugh my period cramps are the worst like the teachers don’t understand what I’m going through” … or “I am not having it today ugh I hate school and I’m probably the only one struggling here” or “you’re lucky you have good grades, it’s hard being me.” okay yes school sucks but if nobody went we’d all be crackheads & we all need some typa smarts to get a job. I’m sorry I literally hate school too but we’re not going here to complain, and it’s a bit selfish to project your problems onto others being ignorant of how you might affect them. It seems like a majority of people like to one-up others with their problems to get attention/validation (not EVERYONE, but that’s what it seems like from my perspective). But what my point is… is that everybody has SOME type of struggle not just you!!!

I’m almost done just wait – here’s some things I do when I’m not feeling great:

+I spend hours on pinterest making boards of pictures that motivate me or comfort me + I also save pins of certain guys? don’t ask. But just completely random pics like these bring me serotonin + hope + motivation b/c I’m shaping out how I want MY lifestyle/aesthetic to be!

— notion is a planning app and it’s an aesthetically pleasing way to get work done

— cute things

— coffee bc I’m obsessed 

— art inspo, even tjough i can’t draw for the life of me

— TXT w/ their plushies just automatically making me happy

+I may be dragging this on way too long but some other things that make ME happy: coffee, kpop, dancing, drawing, video editing, thinking about when winter comes around and I can be lazy in my warm blanket drinking hot coco or coffee and watching movies, and lastly blasting music in my room. Even if I’m terrible at half the things I listed, it’s something I enjoy doing so that’s all that matters. Nowwww it’s your turn to find things that make brighten your mood! unless ofc you prefer to sit there and complain about everything forever (not an option babes). the trick is to romanticize your life and think about how you wish to be until you make it to your goal. I’m not making random pinterest boards for nothing…

+By tomorrow It’s very likely that I’ll be bawling my eyes out & letting my insecurities take control but just think about the big picture and how you’ll be a year from now, or even twenty years from now – you will be proud of yourself by then.

+And social media is fun and all but I have come to the realization that it’s really just a place to express yourself, and some others are just there to get all droopy and sad over the “confident” people. Now why would everyone get on the app and just post about their terrible problems and vent and cry? Exactly, not everyone does that… so how would you know that you have it the worst? I like going on tiktok b/c I found online friends who like the same things i do (kpop fanpage ofc) & it’s entertaining. I skip all the videos of people doing some kind of thirst trap to show how pretty they are (no offense at all! I’m not saying they are the responsibility for other’s insecurities, but many people do have a hard time with that)

I just typed out this full essay instead of finishing my actual English homework so y’all should especially listen to what I am saying and make the best out of what you have. Best wishes, Z.