I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

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The world of chaos

  April 14th, 2019 by Akriloth

I hate this world.

 

This world is noisy. This world is so bright .This world stinks.

 

I want a world with no others, only with my family ,my loved ones .

 

What do the others know ? They know nothing about me .But they kept saying they understand me .Futile ,futil, so futile .

 

They speak beautiful lies that hurt my heart, and fill their satisfaction .

 

I hate it. From now on ,i will be all alone. I have my imaginary family. I will have a great pride that overcome all situations .Who do they think they are ?Acting almighty ? Thinking they are educated better? Stating [...]
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Truth is..

  April 9th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

..two months into antidepressants and I am feeling so much better. I having a really good and fun time meeting new people and readjusting things I wasn’t comfortable with before. I am planning a trip overseas and I am genuinely EXCITED but….when is the other shoe going to drop?

I still have all of you at the back of my mind. I think of each person who is going through a struggle and posts here hoping someone will notice. I wish you all find the right combination of therapy and medication and get better.

I miss my friend Unknownsoldier. I haven’t heard from him in a while. [...]
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3

Self Motivation…

  April 9th, 2019 by SuicideOverAgony

I told my psychologist how I get suicidal thoughts every night. She told me to keep busy but it’s a little more complicated than that. I can’t concentrate on anything I do even playing video games. I’m almost 18, I’m broke and lonely. But I do want to change. I want to start either flipping phones or an e-commerce business in a couple of months. I just need enough capital that’s why I’m waiting. I want to be a strong entrepreneur but my mental health is taking over. I have so many goals that I need to work on ASAP.


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  April 6th, 2019 by lovewhateverr

5 April 2019 11:23pm-12:01am

I just don’t know anymore. I’m not sure of anything in my life and I can’t trust anyone around me. I still can’t believe that you’re gone, I see you every single day and I don’t know whether that’s worse than not seeing you at all. I’m trying so damn hard to make it every day, and without you, I’m so lost all the time. It’s so awkward to hang out with our friends because they’re still friends with both of us. I know that I can’t keep lingering on this, its been 3 months, but did 2 years really mean nothing?

You knew [...]
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Getting over arrogant people.

  April 2nd, 2019 by Undisciplinedbeing

I’m writing here to no end. I don’t want anything out of it, so I won’t pretend I’m trying to get anybody other than me involved.

 

Tonight, start of writing occurred at one fifteen A.M, I thought to myself that no matter how deep into depression and nervous dysfunction I sink, no matter how better or worse I suffer than during one of the several mental breakdowns I’ve had, I’ll always have to recover my sanity, and grow through the experience, only so I can make sure that nobody under my horizon has to go through the same low as me, not as hard, not as [...]
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Making a progress – 1

  March 25th, 2019 by Urm8451n

Hey,

Last 6 month were extremely stressful for my own experience, and a lot of fears or other worries of mine, have re-appeared.

I have started playing idiotic games on the computer in purpose of escaping reality. I have ditched my studies and fell down in the final exams.

 

In my own perspective the last experience was harsh enough to deduct my self esteem and many other aspects.  Now I have to deal with the consequences and find solutions.

 

So what is my plan?

Well first – slowly accept the idea of harsh reality, and tough problems.

While doing the first step, I am also coping with my urges of “running [...]
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March 15, 2019—The Day I’m Supposed To Die

  March 16th, 2019 by TheSadAngel

The night before March 15, I was so down to the point that negative thoughts have devoured me. It was painful, to be torn by two sides of which to choose. A part of me—the wounded one—have whispered me to go to the kitchen, took out a knife, and just end it all! The other one was crying, begging for me to stop. In the middle of the night, a potpourri of emotions swirled within me that I was left in a deep turmoil. Maybe that’s why I went to the kitchen and stood in front of the counter where the knives were hidden. I [...]
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Showing up for a night

  February 20th, 2019 by Urm8451n

I just wanted to write something.

Let off my thoughts.   I grew up without  a father and had to learn my place as a male in society.  It took me a lot of failures to get anywhere beyond my starting point.

I guess it was easier for me to say I don’t belong, or to let go whenever I didn’t solve my problems

with the time passing, I’ve learned to accept more and more responsibility for my actions and, much more, for my dealing with struggles.

I had few traumatic events along my life, that left me to feel alone, and perhaps alienated from other social beings.

I had [...]
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Exhausted

  February 11th, 2019 by Dreary-elf

Today was my birthday…

I honestly wanted to cry the whole time I was with my dad because yet again, he forgot about my birthday.

I do so much for him and I just feel like he doesn’t appreciate the things I do for him… It’s been hard for both of us because we aren’t close as we used to.

I shouldn’t feel down because I had friends and other family members sticking around saying ‘happy birthday’

I’m just glad I made it into another year… I just need to keep pushing myself and not give up like last time

Also, I wanna thank the person I adore…

Thank you for being there and [...]
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5

Is it wrong

  February 10th, 2019 by Jojogram

Is it wrong for me to think that people should commit suicide ..? I’m most definitely not for it as I have seen the difference it can make in a life. But … Have you ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes and just thought “Damn … It would be so much easier … Plus I’m not afraid of death… People should be more welcoming of it rather than afraid … But then again they have lived all their lives living it … So something different might nno be as good”

Idk … I’m just drinking here, laying down wirhaw life full of unaccomplished achievements right [...]
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Sincerely, hiohneh

  February 8th, 2019 by hiohneh

Thank you for listening to me. Every one of you deserves happiness.

I have to find my way. I didn’t realize I was this sick. Disconnecting may be what I need. We’ll see…I like experiments.

Future hiohneh will reply on February 8th, 2020. I won’t forget.

Have a great year! May the sun shine bright!


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A single moment knows no limits

  February 3rd, 2019 by WickedApparition

Once upon a time…
I had lived experiences.
I had a story in which I wanted to tell.
I had a message that I wished to share.
I had created a posting about that experience here, on this very site, some time ago.

… then, one day… 
I had chosen to remove myself (via the form of time/energy) and my postings from this service.
I had stated In my ‘final’ message post (which still lives somewhere within the dust-laden stacks of this site): “I came to share a story and ended up staying a few days longer than expected. I am proud to have encountered each [...]
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it’s been a bumpy ride

  January 28th, 2019 by One Million Masks

it sure has been a minute since i’ve been on this site, haha. i don’t think i’ll even know anyone anymore, but i’ve sort of made an agreement with myself not to look. hey to anyone still around.

but uh. anyways.
this is just…. for anyone who might happen to read this.
i was pretty young when i first came on here— i think i was like, 13 or 14, something like that. things were not good. things had never really been good. literally nothing in the world sounded better to me than nothing, forever; just curtains was as much as i could let myself hope [...]
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2019…..here we are

  January 12th, 2019 by mo992

I’ve tried to avoid posting for a while now. I’ve been dealing with quite a lot, mentally and physically. I felt that posting would make me feel even worse and paranoid. But here I am again.

2018 was quite slow. There were good things and a lot of painful experiences but I must admit that I wouldn’t have made it without my friends and community. The support they have given me is immense and I can in no way give back enough love to them. For a while I felt guilty, I still do. This feeling comes from the fact that even with all this love, [...]
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  December 29th, 2018 by Mac-10toSchool

She’s a drop of water

that doesnt believe in oceans or riversides;

A chameleon wearing a mask to distract

from the self she’s suppressing inside,

So eclipsed, so insistent on hiding the sun behind the shadows

It’s dark because the fire’s died-out.

She’s imprisoned in an invisible cell

forgot that she has the key

been there so damn long it seems normal to her

Doesn’t know how to set herself free

Why not move? Why not take some steps beyond those frightening doors?

It’s dark because the fire’s died-out,

But this light can be rekindled.


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I’m afraid, just like everyone else. That’s the issue.

  December 17th, 2018 by BabyBlu

I don’t know how much longer this joy will last. Hopefully until the end of the year, but I doubt it. Hey, at least I’m not completely empty… I feel like I’m just complaining for the sake of complaining, and that this isn’t real… I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, because I don’t think that it’s a big deal, or that I lie. I lie a lot. More than I should, about small things. Hell, my entire life is a goddamn lie at this point. Stuck between two choices, unable to listen to what my conflicting ideas are. I feel alone and wish I could [...]
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Life goes on

  December 4th, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

I have less than two month to move out.  Evicted.  I have a crazy neighbor that’s been bullying me for years, I finally went off the deep end.  I’m lucky I haven’t been arrested, but I’m definitely kicked out of the building.

Got news today that my grandmother on father’s side passed away.  I was never that close to my father’s side of the family. or my father, but we’ve been trying to reconnect.  I remember she used to give me christmas ornaments every year when I was a kid.  They were pretty cool.

My emotions are scattered.  One minute I feel up to the challenge, the [...]
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8

Maybe Not Yet

  November 27th, 2018 by Hiccup

Despite what I think of myself, I still have a reason or two to keep holding on. So maybe I’ll just stick around for now.


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Zoloft is my friend.

  November 25th, 2018 by NiceGuy2001

A couple of weeks ago I had a major emotional meltdown. Sometimes a minor thing will trigger such things. Anyway, as soon as I got home, I completely fell apart. I didn’t think I would ever stop yelling and crying.

 

I think of my personal despair on a zero-to-ten scale: Zero being no despair, and ten being climbing up into my attic and putting a belt around my neck. On this particular evening I was up around a nine.

 

I knew something had to be done, so I was able to get a prescription for Zoloft (generic name sertraline). I’ve always been very leery about taking artificial [...]
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3

flashback

  November 10th, 2018 by undoubtedly

you were not even 13 years old when you planned your suicide. you were not even 15 years old when you seriously attempted your suicide.

i am here to tell you, younger me, that i am glad you are still around.

think about your mama. what would she feel like in this very moment, in these past few weeks when she has felt so low, if you were gone?

you were practically still a baby when someone touched you, a bad touch, a touch you didn’t like or want, and it made you feel so tainted.

listen to me. that is not what boys do when they like you. that [...]
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