Chronic Pain

0

I think I’m losing it…

March 27th, 2017by 5201jm

(Skip this part if you just wanna know the problem)For those who don’t know who I am, I use to post on here a lot about how I’m probably suicidal due to loneliness(relationship/girl wise). I stopped for a while just bc of laziness or I just wasn’t near a computer at the time. Just search for “5201jm” if you want to know about it/me. Anyway………

So I think I’m getting worse. A few weeks ago I got a little tipsy, picked up a box cutter on my table and cut myself 5 times. 2 long cuts on my left forearm and 3 smaller cuts on my …

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9

Ever feel like the universe wants you to kill yourself?

March 24th, 2017by butterfly75

I’m only 17, and I developed these hearing issues all of a sudden, which doctors cannot cure, about a year ago. I already had these emotional problems (anxiety, depression etc.) and now this? My anxiety has gotten so severe I never feel calm. I really tried to have hope in the beginning but how can you when you’re having constant panic attacks? I can’t sleep at night. I decided not to go to college (I don’t think I could go through it.) I’ve stopped talking to my (very few) friends. My poor parents try to help me but I can’t tell my therapist my plans because …

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6

A Suicide Note To Myself (AKA, More Bullshit That I’m Too Self-Centered To Keep To Myself)

March 22nd, 2017by AKidWithAName

DEAR FUCKING ME,

As of yesterday, I’ve officially come across the most miserable day of my year: the day of my entrance into this god-forsaken abyss! Who wouldn’t want to remember my birth, where I nearly died twice before I even got out of my fucking mom (who didn’t even want me, by the way). I really must’ve fallen short; birth is an easy time to die.

I could always blame it on the sadists the world calls doctors. They didn’t really want me to live either, I’m sure (who could fucking blame them?). Unfortunately, their job calls for them to try to keep even the most …

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5

I want to die but I can’t yet

March 20th, 2017by Lennie Cohen

Every day is filled with intense emotional pain. I obsess about killing myself all day long from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed and all the times I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep.

But, I have three wonderful dogs. I will not leave them. Two are very old and won’t be with me much longer. Losing them will be devastating. But I would rather suffer through that than kill myself after they pass because I can’t stant the thought of my third, much younger dog going to a shelter only …

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0

three new cuts

March 18th, 2017by death bunny

good thing for this site. it helps me remember when i last cut and other forgettable moments i can review later. so.. two or three days ago i cut for the first time after six clean months. like always, i don’t feel bad about it/regret it. i know it’s what i needed that moment and that’s all i had in my power to do to ease the pain. overall, i sense that the frequency of cutting has gotten rare, so that’s good, right? the pain sometimes is just too big to handle..
anyway thanks for taking the time to read this.

oh, and please don’t judge/preach me. …

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7

Abuse, Broken, Alone, & No Future

March 13th, 2017by BrokenDreamer

All my life I’ve tried to do the right thing and all my life I got pain and abuse.

Years back everything was destroyed by a hurricane and lost that I owned and my health started to fail.

In 2014 my father died due to med mal.  I’m on disability having gotten a severe debilitating condition.  I’m in massive chronic pain.  Greedy relatives tried to the little money my father had.

I have no one to help me.

In 2015 I got abused by 2 medical facilities and imprisoned in one due to a false statement someone made.  I witnessed an African-American beaten by hospital security severely in the …

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1

Despair and Hopelessness

March 13th, 2017by Black Holez

I don’t know how to move on in life. I may have rebounded back while I was in the monastery but once I got back in the real world, the same feelings of hopelessness, despair and loneliness has slpwly crept back in. I thought I could go on and move on with me life, I currently even have a scholarship in trade school right now but it seems all so pointless and empty.

I got abandoned by friends, my family looks down on me, I am irritable and angry all the time and I have no one to talk to. My closest friend became a drug …

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0

Day of the thorn, For the rose now despises me…

March 10th, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN

I worked
countless hours
I ran,
distances many men are incapable of doing
I did things that while moral and proper left me exhausted
i, I never, ever have worked so hard in my life
I ran things, boss like. To no avail for I failed a lot
I did things hoping that one day I could see you again and hoping
that I co uld be there for you and hoping that I could be that person,
That you  looked up to, that person you could look forward to being
the reason why I stayed around
the reason why I worked so hard
the reason why I never gave up (offered myself), the reason why I …

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4

The Stars are Too Bright Not to be Seen

March 9th, 2017by every_nightfall

A few days ago, a classmate noticed the cuts on my wrist.

Today, a friend of mine saw the cuts too.

I told them it was nothing, that I only got them for being mean to cats (Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.). I know what I said was such an awful thing to say especially when even you can see the truth beyond your own lie. It’s just that I couldn’t quite think of anything to use as an alibi anymore.

I’m afraid sooner, more people would start to notice the slashes on my wrist and think I’m a weirdo, or worse they might think I’m someone …

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1

To Love, To Hate

March 8th, 2017by every_nightfall

Last year, I started suffering from depression.

Last week, I started cutting.

Last day, I cried and told myself how ugly the wounds look.

 

I’m not used to seeing my left wrist so jagged and so scarred.

Is it normal to love and hate cutting both at the same time?

To love and to hate. Two contradicting things I always seem to clash together.

 

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11

Countless Scars (i’m new here)

March 7th, 2017by every_nightfall

Would a person die when he’s dead?

Or would he only feel more pain?

I knew I’m already suffering from depression a year ago but it’s only last week that I started to hurt myself physically. It just happened. I don’t even know when or how something sharp came into my hand to slit my wrists. All I know is that I shove it on my skin and felt the burning pain beneath. And that it felt so good. To finally feel the pain. To finally divert my attention on my bleeding wrist rather than what I feel inside.

It was the time my brother came to …

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1

My Hip

March 5th, 2017by lonelygirl645

I never wear regular or low rise jeans. Not because I’m insecure about my body. Not because I’m “in love” with the high-waisted jeans. It’s because I cut myself on my hip. Lines and lines of tiny cut marks all over. I cut my hip and watch the blood flow and relish the pain. It’s the only thing that stops the pain inside my head.

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3

No one deserves to know..

March 2nd, 2017by nonexistingsoul

Hi. I’m back. The day was the same like any other day. I feel hopeless and I still made bad decisions. I made everyone around me mad. haha. I never change, do I. I always make things worse. I want to die. Last night I confessed to a friend about what’s happening to me. Know what he said? he said everyone experienced what I’ve been experiencing now. He said I shouldn’t let everything affect me. That I should just be positive cause I’m not the only one who’s suffering in this world. I shouldn’t be selfish he said. haha. They are all the same. Always …

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3

My humanity is rehearsed; I am merely a set of learned & adaptive responses.

March 2nd, 2017by NoOneIsHere

As a teenager and through my early twenties, I used to think that me being alone was because the world was full of **** and that I was being graded on how well I conformed.  But over the years I’ve begun to see that I’ve failed everyone in my life.  I don’t know how to be a real person.  I cannot give people what they need.  I know the words but I don’t know how to speak the language.  And I can no longer delude myself into believing the world is at fault while pretending that I’m not an empty shell of a human being. …

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4

Failed hanging & slitting wrists

March 1st, 2017by ThisIsHard111

My mind is my worst enemy. I’ve screamed until I lost my voice over my mind just standing in the kitchen screaming and screaming and screaming! I’ve been getting mental health for years but those people don’t know how to help yiu.

Even when I get myself to a level where I say hey, I think I can live with nyself, MY LIFE GETS RIPPED APART! Every time without fail. Everything ends, no matter how hard yoyo try, even good feelings will pass but bad feelings pass and get replaced with worse. So much crying pain, even physical pain with back problems from numerous car qrecks, …

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1

I thought wrong…

February 27th, 2017by ErasedEon

What a mistake…

I thought I could get better, but that’s not really what happened. Everyday is basically the same. Not a lot of interesting things happen in my life. I guess I should accept that this will always be this way.

I’m sorry, I’m not your hero anymore…

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3

Tired

February 23rd, 2017by remberance

This is my first post here. I just followed around anonymously but I need somewhere to put my feelings right now. I can’t tell anyone in my life and…and I feel safer here.

I’m tired.
I’m tired of living, of existing, of breathing.
Of waking up in the morning and my first thought being “why couldn’t I have died in my sleep?”
I’m tired changing myself so I’ll stop hating myself and if not working.
I’m tired of hurting myself.
Of being hurt by others.
I’m just tired of being tired.
I have no future, no life, no ambition for anything.
I’m not living, I’m on the berdge of dying, you can’t even consider …

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10

It officially ends this week.

February 21st, 2017by MissingMy3Hearts31921

I have officially made up my mind and am at peace with it.  Time to say goodbye this weekend.  I wanted to go earlier but one of my daughters birthday is tomorrow so I am going to wait.

I learned that due to my NP hydrocephalus that I am about 18 to 24 months away from suffering the same symptoms as those with CTE.  It is almost like dementia.  I do not want to sit and be a burden to anyone.  Especially do not want to be a burden to my soon to be ex wife and my kids.  I think I have come to peace …

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1

“Choices”

February 20th, 2017by SumGuy

And the lightning did crash

The road it split asunder

Two paths made available

The walk of familiarity, down faded streets of internal torment and outward farcities

The path that stopped abrupt a chasm with no end in sight

Equal unwelcoming feelings pervaded the decision

No backpeddling available, bridges burned bodies left to rot

Choice is the only freedom of the individual

The embrace of the unknown or the amity of misery

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5

Contradictory.

February 16th, 2017by tyrfing

I’ve overcome so many things in my life; a majority of it has been surviving my parent’s verbal abuse and neglect and the overwhelming feeling of being alienated by society.

First of all, I wouldn’t say they’re terrible parents, but every root of each and one of my problems always goes back to them, and it brings me pain that I know that I have to move on since all the damage is done, and nothing will come out of blaming them until the day I die.

It’s hard not to wish for their death, it’s far easier to think about suicide. I’ve developed this inane fear …

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