Chronic Pain

2

Just counting down the days

May 29th, 2017by The riddler

June 3rd, 2016 was the day I snapped. I drove my car into a light pole at about 100kph. I just couldn’t/can’t handle life anymore. First responders arrived, I admitted to the crash being due to me wanting to die, and not losing control of the car. I was taken to the hospital where I was drugged up and put through extensive testing. I guess it was considered a serious crash even though I had no physical injuries. The next day I was transferred to a mental hospital for a 3 week term where I was supposed to become a mentally healthy individual that can …

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3 hours ago • Chronic Pain, General, Suicidal Survivors

2

blank

May 28th, 2017by plasticflower

i can’t think properly but it’s not like i want to anyways
i’m very sleep deprived at the moment but that’s fine because i just “have to try harder and go to bed earlier than i do”
in short, i’m tired

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8 hours ago • Chronic Pain, General

2

Almost Made a Scene at Work

May 27th, 2017by BlueDiamond

I keep being told that I’m doing a good job, only been critiqued on one thing, but then well I wasn’t in trouble or anything like that. He said he wants to focus on zoning things in the store, since that was my strong point, and that we have too many employees and the plants have enough water due to the rain.

I’ve worked too many jobs to know where this heading, Yeah, they’re going to soften the blow, this is why I never believe the good comments, then they’ll laid you off because you were not needed enough for the company. I have noticed that …

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2 days ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

14

His Last Words Were

His Last Words Were

May 25th, 2017by SeeSmith

 

It hurts when I laugh
And it hurts when I speak
And it hurts when I talk
And it hurts when I breathe

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3 days ago • Chronic Pain, Suicidal Survivors

0

My Story Part 2

May 25th, 2017by gioia

I’ve decided to not tell anybody else about the abuse; their reaction just made me realize how inconvenient and unpleasant this was for everybody.

I knew before that I wasn’t an easy person, but I never felt that rejected in my whole life -not even when I was bleeding and bruised from my exboyfriend.

But I made a mistake. I’ve tipsily told a guy I’ve been with for a while. We’ve never been officially dating but we spent almost every day with each other.

I didn’t want a label for what we had and neither did he.

But I’ve told

…

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3 days ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects

3

I Want To Die

May 25th, 2017by Todamnbad

My life has always been a living hell. Grew up in a dysfunctional family. Suffered a lot of verbal abuse and some physical. It was so bad my friends were scared to come over. That started when I was 8 years old and all that time beforehand, I had a normal childhood. It was when my mom got the new boyfriend shit changed which was when I was 8 and so forth. I was a smart kid and I considered myself smart. A and B student through high school. Had high self esteem. Didn’t have too many friends which didn’t bothered me. Lack of friends …

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4 days ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

4

Why am i alive

May 25th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Seriously… why the f am I here? I just don’t get myself.. everything planned is ready. The tools are placed. But I’m making excuses. Why? I keep telling myself “eventually it’s over, but stay a few months longer for the hell of it” I bought a computer for games. Considering I spend most of my time now.. hiding from sound. I had surgery to fix my ears.. didint work.. we’re going for another attempt/ approach in a month.. I don’t know why I’m trying to fix myself when I’m just going to suicide soon. I guess I’m just scared and I still wanna live in …

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4 days ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

13

Stupid Sexual Urges

May 23rd, 2017by BlueDiamond

I can never have any real friends. All I attract is perverts everywhere I go saying that they’re my friend, more like hoping to be a friend with benefits. Nobody cares about what I have to say or what I like. I might as well walk around saying, “Blah, blah, blah, look at my tits” over and over again. People are going to group me into that category of sluts, even though I don’t put out. I get sexualized every where I turn, and people wonder why I hate sex so much. Why I don’t want to go out anymore? Can never look a man …

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5 days ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

8

I need to be a human.

May 23rd, 2017by Maddie.Shit

hey everybody,can you help me this time?this time my problem is not about my parents hating me or my overweight or friends and people around me ,this time my problem is that i lost my feelings ,dad was about to die, mother freaked everything out and finally they separated,if it was the old me ,i would have died to hear such news.if it was the new me ,i would have been very happy .but guess what?i did not give a fuck about this sometimes I wonder if someone has stolen my heart?where had all my feelings gone?right now i rarely cry ,but when i do,i …

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5 days ago • Chronic Pain, General, Stories of Loss

11

My Vows

May 22nd, 2017by BlueDiamond

That I will never get married

Never have sex with another fellow human being

If I’m to become homeless, that I will slit my carotid artery.

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6 days ago • Chronic Pain, General, My Suicide Note

7

Tired of Doing the Right Thing

May 22nd, 2017by BlueDiamond

I got another bill from Tuckers. How can I get medical help when I can’t afford it? I know, just stop being depress and magically suck everything up like a sponge. I just got a job, and guess what it’ll all going to go to paying bills. Most of dept is college, hell the debt on one my credit cards is college, and I’m still working shit jobs, scraping the barrel to pay bills. Over 90% percent of my debt is college. Rarely do I spend money for myself. Bad enough that I have a dad who is always bitching to me about money, but …

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6 days ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, General

2

brain junk

May 22nd, 2017by plasticflower

words won’t come out.
talking and expressing anything seems like too much work, or like something too complicated that i can’t figure out.
and when i do try to reach out and open up to others, it always goes wrong. i try telling someone about the panic attack i had, and they assume i’m lying and then proceed to tell me i’m not trying hard enough, and that only makes everything harder for everyone. they tell me to try harder.
i thought i was trying my best. and i was. but it seems like, once again, my best wasn’t enough.
i tried to open up, and …

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6 days ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, Rants

9

my worth is in the comments

May 22nd, 2017by Milestiba

I am so stupid. All my life, I have measured my worth on the comments. Now, with social media, it is exemplified.

And I am a blood sucking parasite. I suck the life out of those who show me any attention. I can’t help myself. It is an addictive compulsion.

They tell me it is explained as Borderline Personality Disorder, but I call it torture. Both for me and the other person. The world would be better off without me.

Where can I find the resolve to finally commit suicide? The pain is all-consuming… overpowering… causing constant despair.

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

1

I hate Teachers

May 21st, 2017by BlueDiamond

Why does my manager makes me with this girl? Every few minutes that I show to help her to do work, she disappears as though she doesn’t like me, and I know that she isn’t lazy. She doesn’t have to like me, in fact the purpose of having a job is to work, and pretend you’re a team. Isn’t like I’m standing there and her chatting up. Oh well, she left me with her red marker that she was working with, so I took it. I wanted to chunked the damn thing, but instead I left it by the computer. Doubt that did her any …

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, General, I Will Survive

2

What is reality?

May 19th, 2017by Alfred1688

As we try to survive in this world we live in

We seek out meaning for the life that was given

Some search for it their entire youth

Yet little find it or see the truth

Majority give up when all hope is lost

Others are consumed by the lies they came across

We all believe it gets better after it gets worse

But those words do not apply on this curse

Even if we tried to satisfy every need

There is no cure for one’s greed

It destroys us like a cancer

…

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, Poetry & Art, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

3

Demon Road

Though we find ourselves alone in our pain and blackness we are many. Funny how demons push and guide us individually, but we are many. Alone in the dark we cry for deaths sweet release, but we are many. Hopeless am I here by myself, but we are many.  We are legion 

1 week ago • Chronic Pain, General, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Stories of Loss

3

january 27 – 11:47PM

I always give too much To a friend or to a lover and i cant seem to understand why my giving is never equal to what i receive and i have never felt the kind of happiness i see in their eyes on mine when i am being returned the favor They seem happier than me and […]

2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Suicidal Survivors

4

wednesday – 9:10PM

May 17th, 2017by suicidalkitty

sometimes i wish

i stayed inside my mother,

never to come out.

 

I should go now, quietly
For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep
Where all my layers can become reeds
All my limbs can become trees
All my children can become me
Oh, what a mess I leave

 

2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants

1

You Shall Sing — Or a Hymn for Spring

May 15th, 2017by us_1999

You shall sing,
For the ephemeral ones,
For those who’ve been singing voicelessly for long,
With their silence you shall echo your song;

With their silent chorus,
Of innumerable chirping and tweeting,
That enchant the soft spring air,
—You may as well sing like the spring;

For she roots deep in winter’s longing,
Warm sweet blood crackles and cracks the frail sterile earth,
Yet veins, tenderly hold it unbroken, undamaged,
Intact,
Likewise shall your song journey through nature’s taciturnity.

(English is not my first language, forgive me if it looks bad)

 

2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General, Poetry & Art

13

Sweet Sleep

My life is such that the only thing I look forward to is sleep. In my dreams I am free of everything including gravity. Sweet dreams where I am hero. I awake sometimes in tears because of the simple fact that I woke up. I long for an eternal sleep. Hero forever

2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Loss

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