Chronic Pain

2

Toxic Sludge

  February 8th, 2019 by vwbeatles

I think I’ve reached my breaking point when it comes to forming relationships with people. My head feels so heavy, like thick black concrete forming a toxic sludge. No matter how much people tell me they care about me I can’t help but not feel that care. I can’t help but feel that they like someone else better, that I’ll alway be second best. I can’t help but think I will just die alone. I knew that if I were to just die today only my family would cry. And of course, I love my family. I am grateful for them. But there is something …

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2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Rants

5

Sixty More Years Alone

  February 4th, 2019 by LiquidHuman

I promised someone I wouldn’t kill myself.
I was a beautifully poetic moment and all. He gave me some good points as to why I shouldn’t off myself. I might have cried a little. We both got closer to each other because of it. And maybe it does make me feel a little better about myself. But looking back in it, I kinda wish I didn’t make that promise. Because now I have to commit to staying alive.
The truth is, I’d rather not be here. I rather not slog through this earth any longer than I have to. Not too long ago I looked up the …

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2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

1

Opening the last door

  February 4th, 2019 by Nothing92

This post is to serve as my introduction to the Suicide Project as well as a kind of flippant virtual testament.

Had I been told one year before that I would be deeply suicidal and humbled beyond all conceivable limits, I would have laughed.

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2 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Rants

20

Rejection

  February 2nd, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

So here I am again. Same old lame things. Depression, anxiety. But this week I’ve had a very special guest in my life: rejection.

It’s not that we hadn’t met before. Oh no, we’ve always been pretty close. But this week we really connected.

Being the weirdo doesn’t really get along with depression and anxiety. Specially when you’re the only girl at work who wasn’t invited to the farewell party. Feeling 15? Well I am 25 and this is still hitting hard.

Friend stood me up and made it pretty clear that she doesn’t really care about me.

Crush has been making my life even more miserable for the …

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3 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General

0

What is BAD LUCK

  January 26th, 2019 by Itscolourlife

I want to drag you in
Deep inside me
Deep inside the blackhole with me
I want you to know my sadness my sorrow my darkness
But in the end I cant tell you

You have problem too
I know mine is so much more
But I cant give you more sadness more sorrow more darkness

When you said you bring bad luck to people around you
How can I say that Im not alright
How can I say that I have depression
When you are just my best friend

When you said about your best friend death
When you said your ex gf have cancer

How can I say I want to die
How can I say my precious …

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4 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note

10

Euthanasia in Belgium and the Netherlands (and the debate surrounding it)

  January 19th, 2019 by Taf Taf

I must apologize in advance, because I’m going to put a lot of videos and articles in this post and it will probably occupy a lot of space on the starting page of this site (needless to say, feel free to write your opinions about euthanasia in the comment section).

 

https://theconversation.com/separating-fact-from-fiction-about-euthanasia-in-belgium-58203

Euthanasia in Belgium

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3748787/Euthanasia-tourists-rush-Belgium-free-lethal-injections-staggering-2-023-medically-killed-year.html

https://newsmavens.com/news/aha-moments/2088/belgium-fears-euthanasia-tourism

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/12/24/brussels-denies-eu-rules-encourage-euthanasia-tourism/

And a PDF about euthanasia in Belgium:

Euthanasia practice in Belgium

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, Fun & Interesting, General, Stories of Loss

2

I’m sorry but I have to go.

  January 18th, 2019 by n.retro_waver

I’m not sure how things will turn out. I’m not sure if people who know me will see this. But I’ll just leave this here, just in case…

*** *** ***

Hi all.

I’m really sorry.

The last few months.. No.. the last few years have been extremely difficult for me. I’ve been sick on and off. I was left without any idea of what to do. My options were gone, dashed with the end of art classes and painting. I couldn’t try and force myself into the resto+bakeshop seeing that things had changed so much from when I was there that it was dizzying just to try and keep up. …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, My Suicide Note

8

Sharing about your depression

  January 13th, 2019 by BrokenHaze-

why does every people that i’ve been sharing to about my depression keeps telling me that i’m overdramatic?

is that really hard to understand? every people keeps compare about their experience to me.. eventhough my main case is I lose motivation to do anything.

 

when I share to my mom,she broke into tears and said “u don’t ever dare to said that again. do u really hate me(mom) so much that u want to kill urself? am I a failure as a mom? and she even implied if u don’t wanna see me(mom),i’m ok though I will die sooner or later.”

my mom is diagnosed with breast cancer …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, Stories of Loss

2

The Hikikomori phenomenon in Japan

  January 13th, 2019 by Taf Taf

 

Hikikomori – Investigations into the Phenomenon of Acute Social Withdrawal in Contemporary Japan

 

The Phenomenon of ”Hikikomori” (Social Withdrawal) and the Socio-cultural Situation in Japan Today

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General

8

This is it

  January 3rd, 2019 by anonymousbuthere

Goodbye, world.

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art

2

It doesn’t matter anymore

  January 2nd, 2019 by careforme

Its been a rough few couple of days finding out the guy who is your best friend is also your crush I told him how I felt and now I regret it every single damn day because he doesn’t like me more then a friend instead he’s in love with his best friend she’s his lock screen and everything im not trying to sound jealous but im hurt because he knew I liked him and he never once told me about her so im really hurt and broken but what’s it matter right my life is shit everyday so fuck everyone im done 🙁 im …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain

9

*I really needed to vent before I take the leap tonight. *And yes, all of the info below is quite true.

  January 1st, 2019 by BLUE EYED BLOND

Birthday is 12/30/75. I’m 5’0″, giant blue eyes, with long blonde hair…I had major back surgery, so I now have screws, plates and nuts drilled into my lumbar spine. I don’t sleep, I barely eat, I can’t work–I can only stand, sit or lay down for very short periods of time. I am suddenly homeless, I have no family or friends, I have zero income because I’m waiting for social security disability and cannot work. I have no medical insurance, so I am currently off all my mental health meds.(6 of them).I have major depressive disorder, severe anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, and panic disorder. I suffer …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, General, My Suicide Note

13

Options

  December 30th, 2018 by Mac-10toSchool

Suicide is always an option for me. Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say I lose my Car Keys. When I go through my head to assess my options, my options will look like:

1. Trace your steps

2. Replace the keys

3. Kill yourself.

It’s always there for some reason, in my list of options when I’m trying to solve problems. Isnt that ridiculous!? Even when I’m not depressed it’s like that.suicide

I would say I’m only mildly depressed right now, and that I’ve been working hard to make progress. I have made progress, lots of it. But it’s still there, like this annoying little whisper. I keep having to remind myself that …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Rants

0

I’m afraid, just like everyone else. That’s the issue.

  December 17th, 2018 by BabyBlu

I don’t know how much longer this joy will last. Hopefully until the end of the year, but I doubt it. Hey, at least I’m not completely empty… I feel like I’m just complaining for the sake of complaining, and that this isn’t real… I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, because I don’t think that it’s a big deal, or that I lie. I lie a lot. More than I should, about small things. Hell, my entire life is a goddamn lie at this point. Stuck between two choices, unable to listen to what my conflicting ideas are. I feel alone and wish I could …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, I Will Survive

1

it´s been a while

  December 9th, 2018 by plasticflower

i haven´t been here for over a year, and i really need to empty my brain, so here´s a bit of the mess that´s going on in my head

 

i tried to hide it more, so they wouldn´t notice. I guess I got too good at hiding it because now she thinks i´m doing so much better. And maybe I am, but it  doesn´t really feel like it. I feel like soon i´ll break; and I don´t know if I can or want to stop it. Today she said, “I think you´re doing much better now. Do you still think you need to see a therapist?”. …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects

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Protected: Just Saying Goodbye

  December 9th, 2018 by jocelyn._.martinez

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects

5

I don’t know what to do, suicide might be my only option

  December 8th, 2018 by kahann

I’m a 50 year old female who has never really lived and probably never will.

Look, I know I should take responsibility for my mistakes and failings but I feel trapped. It’s like I’m in a prison and there is only one way I’m getting out and that’s death.

It all started when I was 6, that’s when my step-father started molesting me. When I was 7 I told my mother what he was doing, that was the day she started beating me. When I was 12 he wanted to do more than fondle me and pleasure himself, when I said no he got into a mood …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, General

5

Pathetic and Tired

  November 29th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

All of me is very pathetic: I am not overweight, but am by no means strong, nor do I possess any significant measure of success or unique strength in any certain area. I work, eat- though sometimes I wish that I didn’t-, sleep, and spend the rest of the time just being lonely and writing about people that I see. It’s embarrassingly lame.

I am tired too: I don’t have anyone to just rest with. I watch porn because I’m so fracking lonely; I cry because it’s pathetic; then I pretend it didn’t happen, almost never really confronting it as an issue. I lie about it, …

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3 months ago • Chronic Pain, General, Poetry & Art

2

Deterioration

  November 28th, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

I’ve had left side flank pain on and off for four years now.

I finally got to see a GI specialist.

The specialist thinks my mental illness has caused my physical illness and pain for the past four years. That I have IBS and there’s nothing she can really do for me, and that psychiatric medication is probably my solution.

Unfortunately medication hasn’t been safe for me and no other treatments have helped me either.

I have already given mental illness the ability to make friends.

I have already given my mental illness educational opportunities.

I have given it my ability to support myself financially.

I have given …

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3 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General

1

I Give Up

  November 28th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

3 Months Ago i posted my first post here ”I Want to be Happy”.
Back in those days i told myself ”If things don’t get better by the end of this year (2018) i would end up my life”
Weeks after i wrote that post i was actually optimist, the things in my life got better, i trutly thought i would make another year. But it was just that, a delusional through.

But life beated me down.

The things that happened goes far from my control, i can’t help not even to myself, less to my family. and if it is not enough…

She found another dude, she told me …

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3 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, Stories of Loss

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