Chronic Pain

0

I Want Different

  October 12th, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

I don’t want to be ‘sick’ anymore or at least well enough I can resemble the things I want to be. Who I am is not my desire.

I’d like to work but I’m beyond just pushing myself and I’ve been denied disability.

I want to be the super mom I believed in but I’m not well enough.

I want to be able to stay with my significant other and not cry or have flashbacks about things he had nothing to do with.

I want to be all love and light.

I want to be so many things but my illness stands in my way. …

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5 days ago • Chronic Pain, General

4

Struggling

  October 10th, 2018 by Old_tired_Aussie

Pain is normal  and those of us experiencing chronic pain on a never ending basis know how hard it is to make friends, keep friends. Im lonely, and made a friendship, which turned out to nothing but lies. It took the edge off and gave me a chance to breathe. Now more lies has even shattered the way i would ignore everything just because I was so desperate for company and the distraction.now it’s over i’m finding the pain is worse, my whole body has tightened up, I grit my teeth so hard I break them. I want to give up on this shit life …

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6 days ago • Chronic Pain

1

Am I selfish.?

  October 7th, 2018 by Virus.Found

I can not get over it, that things will never be fair. I’m too sensitive about everything. I’m in chronic pain and Doctors could never help me. Or maybe I think I just couldn’t help myself. For 9 years I’m into this Depression and it just got worse. It started early in school, that I realized that something was not right. About me and the tiring reality to go to school everyday. Other Kids seemed so careless. I came too late everyday. It started with 5 Minutes, then 10, then 30 and sometimes I missed the first period. I think I must be a broken …

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

2

New Person, Same Old Mistakes

  October 7th, 2018 by Blue65

After months of despair and crippling loneliness, I’ve achieved the impossible.
Me, a kissless loser, found a real gem. Someone who actually cares about me, enjoys me and all my quirks, and tries to push me into bettering myself.

I was riding the high for months, it’s the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
All I’ve ever wanted was just somebody to share my time with, somebody I can just, finally open up to.
Someone to listen, to love me, and just care.

Of course I looked at myself a lot. A relationship can’t work, how can I expect anyone to love me if I can’t even love myself? …

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain

3

All I Want

  October 7th, 2018 by SuzieSalmon

My mindset hasn’t changed since January, I still envision myself not existing anymore but I’ve gained more sorrow because I’m around my family more. It gives me guilt, makes me feel so selfish. For once I just wish I could envision being where I feel is home and building the life I’ve missed out on. I wish there was nothing wrong with me and I wish I was strong enough for my family and for my husband. I want to be better. Its almost, December.

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects

1

Numb

  October 6th, 2018 by Undecided13

I’m in that point of life when I could no longer feel the sadness, no longer feel the pain. I could no longer feel anything. Its like I’m just numb. Just drifting into the darkness that had broken me more times that I could count. So much pain, I wished for it all to disappear. I wanted to escape, because I am too much a coward to face it. I guess I got my wish, then.

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, General, My Suicide Note, Rants

6

no way out

  October 6th, 2018 by AKidWithAName

She was drunk.  Doesn’t that make it my fault?  She was raped before.  That’s the only reason she did it.  She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her.  She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right?  And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality.  She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me.  She stripped me of any hope for a future.  There is nothing after this.  Not even death could let me escape this hell.  It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by …

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1 week ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note, Suicidal Survivors

5

I think about suicide everyday, even in college, thanks to Trump.

  September 23rd, 2018 by JustSomeGuy4455

My name is Taylor. I’m 26 years old and I am an autistic atheist who questions his sexuality. I am turned on by all genders yet I have no desire whatsoever to engage in sexual intercourse. I live in the deep south, Georgia to be exact, and I hate every second of it.

 

What happened to this world? When did it get to the point where I found that this planet is nothing but a cancer cell on the universe? I used to be so happy and carefree until I became an adult, now it’s just never-ending misery. I’ve been abused since childhood by other people …

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3 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General

0

it is deadly

  September 19th, 2018 by Yikrens

to know I love the deaths creation.

but any of is for bme a taboo subject

 

so so don’t sing the deaths of. also I did.

 

this can’t be excused to some,

as strangers. maybe is takes a toll of relief..

but I’d stick to what I know as stranger.

and any must be alive. and that can be noone..

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4 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Poetry & Art, Stories of Loss

6

Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring

  September 14th, 2018 by niki

Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.

Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.

reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

1

I’m breathing

  September 12th, 2018 by ariusversea

You don’t need to tell me all the reason I should hate myself. I already know them. I repeat them to myself every night with nootropics to keep me awake and kicking. Kicking myself for being a failure, for not doing anything right. For never being enough.

I try to do everything right. I read the textbooks, look over my notes, do the work. I could not work for an entire MONTH, an entire 30 DAYS, and I would STILL be advanced in my classes. because I work hard. I “grind” and “hustle” everyday. But unless I haven’t walked in the snow in nothing but flip …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note, Rants

1

Honestly Honesty

  September 9th, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I’m not going to lie to you.
Sometimes i wish I could just fade out right here and now.
Im not going to pretend that I think life is one big open door.
And no no I don’t need you to tell me there is so much worth living for.
Because I won’t believe that yet.
I mean with the hatred and rigidity and sorrow and cruelty,
And how everyone thinks they’re right.
And well, I’ve heard it so much,
The arguments and rants of our parliaments
That I no longer believe any of us got it right.
And it’s slightly annoying that we’re so petty.
But not nearly as annoying as sad.
And you can call

…

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, Poetry & Art, Rants

2

  September 7th, 2018 by sideshowcircus

 

“Suffrage is the pivotal right.”

Susan B. Anthony

 

“Independence is happiness.”

Susan B. Anthony 

 

 

“There is one thing higher than Royalty: and that is religion, which causes us to leave the world, and seek God.”

Elizabeth I

 

 

“I was

…

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain

1

I’ve tried, but to no avail. Sadness turns the merry bleak, and all will fade

  September 7th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I am tired; I am worn: my eyes falter, and fail, wishing of and seeing only what I’ll never have- a lover: one of with whom I would love with, love things, make love, and care for love. I lust with myself to faceless women with wordless mouths and tear-less eyes. After all things, my heart is well traveled; for, despite not finding love as of yet, it seems as though emotions can be harmed without being brought out to the light. This makes me bitter: my lips let my tongue out, to speak vile things to innocent and unsuspecting family members and odd and …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General, Poetry & Art

5

Why I’m a Worthless Person

  September 6th, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I just fucked up today. I’m pretty sure I just ruined my relationship with my family. In all honesty, I hope they do hate me. I feel like I deserve it. Maybe this event will finally cement the idea that they raised a failure and they’ll just give up on me. So now, I’m writing this, as a way to publicly humiliate myself in a way that won’t make me a public nuisance. To tell everyone exactly what makes me such a piece of shit.

Honestly, I don’t know where to start. There’s so much wrong with me, putting into words how fucked up I am …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

0

Fever Talk

  September 5th, 2018 by PanicRevelation

I couldn’t sleep again.

 

I couldn’t change anything, I can’t be changed, I want to but I don’t, I won’t, I keep changing but at the same time nothing has.

 

I can’t. Can’t what?

 

There are so many thoughts but nothing at all coming to mind, it becomes so hazy and bogged down.

 

I can’t do this. I’ve lost my way in life again, I say that but to begin with I never had a direction at all. My head hurts.

 

Why does my body have to ache like this, my head is dizzy and burning hot but my body is cold to the touch and sweaty. Maybe I have …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General

0

wave of depression

  September 5th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

I am a 29 year old male suffering from a soup of mental disorders and other tribulations, hence my other posts. I am unemployed, living with my parents after graduating with my electronics engineering degree. I am unable to find work, depressed, and tired. Instead of explaining my previous posts over again, I will just come to the point of how I feel now. At this moment, I am at a low no one else around me can surface. I suffer from something that I was afraid might get worse by time; I suffer from extreme self hate and body dysmorphic disorder – or as …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

1

Does it even matter

  September 3rd, 2018 by PanicRevelation

Does it even matter anymore? honestly it never did.

I tried so hard and so hard to die but each attempt failed leaving me here. So many years wasted.

How much more shame can i build up.

I thought maybe appreciating the small things in life would lead me to a happier life. after every failed jump and drowning and overdose. After bleeding out and forced into therapy for years and years at a time. I still feel so empty inside. Nothing has helped. I just want to die but even that has proven to be useless.

So I thought dying in a different way would be more effective.

More …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

0

Precognition of Pain

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, Rants, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

1

stuck

  August 26th, 2018 by niladri54321

i dont know how to say this but failure always been part of my life.been following this page for 4 years n it gives me strength to survive this harsh world.

i m stuck. all my friends r moving forward n i feel like i m the only one no one gaves a damn my friend started ignoring me i guess bcoz they have jobs n i m still in college have tried to kill myself but i m a coward bcoz i dont want to lose my life like this all i have known is” giving up is not an option” no matter how hard …

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2 months ago • Chronic Pain

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