Chronic Pain

6

I hate to be alive

  April 17th, 2019 by PurpleCrystal

Death would be the nicest thing would happen to me now. No one deserves to be transgender, poor, have a black skin and live in this hell called as Brazil. And I also may have cancer. Life has no sense and I hate it.


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4

drained.

  April 15th, 2019 by closetedw0rds

hi, my name is milo.

 

i tend to hide my emotions and bottle them up until i break. everyday i force myself to get up and go to school and do what needs to be done. i’m okay throughout the day but as soon as i’m alone and it’s nighttime i breakdown. i cry myself to sleep everytime i realize that nothing is going to get better. i’ve been in the same spot for over 5 years now and nothing has changed. i was sexually assaulted by my ex-best friend, constantly being blamed for things that weren’t my fault, and my boyfriend of almost 2 years [...]
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2

Truth is..

  April 9th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

..two months into antidepressants and I am feeling so much better. I having a really good and fun time meeting new people and readjusting things I wasn’t comfortable with before. I am planning a trip overseas and I am genuinely EXCITED but….when is the other shoe going to drop?

I still have all of you at the back of my mind. I think of each person who is going through a struggle and posts here hoping someone will notice. I wish you all find the right combination of therapy and medication and get better.

I miss my friend Unknownsoldier. I haven’t heard from him in a while. [...]
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1

It should be me.

  April 7th, 2019 by hellblau

8 years and you’re still inside my head
Inside my heart
I can’t burn you away
I can’t see another’s eye
Without seeing yours
I can’t kiss another lips
Without feeling yours
I can’t say I love you
Without thinking of you
And the big problem here
Is that you don’t even know
You’ll never know
You’ve moved on
You’re in love with someone else
And I’ll never be her


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4

I feel bad… yet angry

  April 2nd, 2019 by ariusversea

I don’t want to bother anyone with my problem. And yet I feel as if I’ll explode. For the past week, I’ve had to watch my abuser walk down my same hallways, spend quality time with his friends in his new clothes (guess his mom spoiled him), while I with in my usual frustration, jumpy whenever I feel anyone come near me, wanting to run away and having no one that understands because I CAN’T TELL.

but what if i killed myself? what if i fell out the window? in my letter, i’d blame everyone that protected him, everyone that made me feel like i [...]
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1

Well I guess you could say I don’t entirely understand my past. I got abused by my mother had bully’s as friends and well I was scared. Now I have ptsd ,panic attacks daily, and cry everyday. But more of the problem is that I have a lot of false memories ,probably to cope with reality, I can’t tell the difference between life and dreams most days. That causes problems. Losing a pen causes a mental breakdown because I can’t understand what is real. I can’t put up with it. I want to die. I don’t want to cut myself. I have before ,but what […]

0

Making a progress – 2

  March 26th, 2019 by Urm8451n

Targeting down unwanted behavior, which might have been caused by extreme environments.  Making a behavioral change, to resolve those conflicts.

 

Lately,  1) I have been fed up with making unsocial statements or just being indelicate in social environment.   I also have been fed up with 2) my lack of sleep.

First step, targeting the problems and its reasons; I feel like it is an outcome of physical state.  or is it?

Let’s look further:

1). Being socially indelicate – why?  Because I talk fast. is it all ? No. let’s look further; I ACT quickly probably due to PTSD, and other PAST environments that I have been in, in [...]
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0

Slowly losing faith…

  March 25th, 2019 by Escaper Boy

I feel like my time is “near”.

I was doing my best to continue. To advance one day, followed by another day. I was grateful if I could pass another day.

But, it seems like such luxury will vanish soon. Enduring a single day is enough to make me suffocate. I even have trouble breathing as I writing this. (Note, I never have asthma.)

Right now, I’m anxious if I have enough strength (or luck) to reach tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish with this post.

For now, I am doing my best to breathe deeply. Hoping my anxiety and fear would pass.

 

 

 

 


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16

I’m not the picture perfect survivor

  March 24th, 2019 by ariusversea

I guess I’m gonna keep saying it until it feels 100 p. cent real to me.

Last night, my brother molested me.

And why reveal this to some forum you may ask?

Because I’m not allowed to tell anyone else. And I want [need] to tell someone.

My parents are trying to steer me towards forgiveness. I’m not having it. I’m at my mom’s house and I haven’t seen him since the incident. I feel like my body isn’t mine. Like I will forever be marked by those cold hands on my breast.

I’m desperate for human contact just answer this stupid message I feel like I’m [...]
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2

What Do You Do?

  March 22nd, 2019 by Justanotherfaintstar


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11

Today wasn’t a good day

  March 21st, 2019 by crazykidfrommars

Every day is terrible, but today really pushed me over the edge. I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to try ODing on my iron pills and finally dying. I hope my family disposes of my body and not leave it there to rot because they’re some horrible people, I tell you. All rotten, all abusive, all evil people.

So, goodbye. This 18 year old is finally breaking free. No more nerve pain, no more mental illness, no more abuse. Nothing. Hopefully I’ll finally be successful this time. I can only pray.


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1

a beast has just ripped out my heart

  March 18th, 2019 by an_old_child

you can skip the first paragraph

i used to be suicidal some years ago, but i tried really hard and now i’m actually successful. i’m a computer engineering student and my grades are so good that i can go for masters degree without entrance exam. i’m a digital artist too and i’m currently an intern in a game development studio. it’s what i always wanted. although having to study hard and working at the same time is sometimes overwhelming, but it’s good. it [...]
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2

I don’t get it

  March 17th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

Why do I get panic attacks for no reason at all?


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3

The Way of the Dinosaurs

  March 14th, 2019 by LiquidHuman

I’ve heard a lot of people make the statement that they were born in the wrong time. As if that’s something to be proud of. I didn’t used to get annoyed with these people haughtily proclaiming their belonging to a different era, at least not when I was a teen. But now, it pisses me off to no end. Because I now feel that every day of my fucking life.
I’ve only been an adult for three years now, and already I’ve come across a major problem in my biological code. To put it bluntly, I’m inherently backward, I have an innate fear of change, [...]
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2

What Do You When You Tried Your Absolute Best and It Wasn’t Enough?

  March 12th, 2019 by Justanotherfaintstar

Throughout the course of my life, I have experienced a string of failures and have only occasionally managed to make the occasional breakthrough.

I wasn’t able to pursue the career I really wanted due to me not being skilled and experienced enough and there being a lack of entry level jobs to break in to the industry. Currently, I am unemployed and every job I interview for has 20 other candidates also campaigning for the same role and thus I keep getting rejected.

I don’t have enough money to go back to school and at this point, I regret ever going to school at all.

This natural spark [...]
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3

I felt how miserable my life is again

  March 10th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

This past few weeks felt really lonely and embarrassing. I just remembered yesterday how miserable my life is.

I walked outside at night while crying and nobody cared at all. How lonely my world is.

I cried in my room while cutting my wrist and I felt the emotional pain rather than the physical pain.

Right now I feel like I can jump from a rooftop or be hit by a truck. Even though I always feel miserable all these years, I feel like I have the courage to die now. I don’t really get why I don’t deserve a happy life.

Please let me die. Living another day [...]
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1

Running on low expectation

  March 10th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

Three weeks into antidepressants and met someone amazing.

It was all sunshine for a moment there but then it poured.

He told me he was moving away, wasn’t looking for anything serious and that he enjoyed being single. Running on low expectation all over again. I had to push him away since I was already having feelings for him and yeap that’s insane because we’ve only been dating for like a month. I guess people like us get attached too easily to any slight sign of happiness and when it goes away it feels like our world comes crumbling down. I haven’t stopped crying, can’t get out [...]
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0

From Within

  March 10th, 2019 by Hemlock

Torpor circulates

breeds

spewing maggots

 

through veins

hollow

and spindly

 

refreshing this

exercise

in futility.


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2

Succumbing

  March 8th, 2019 by Hemlock

Encased, petrified

in the rigid amber

of a death grip;

 

their skeletal digits

gnarled, inhospitable

bring suffocation.

 

Ushering in softly

a traffic jam

of violent panic

 

in a parched throat

that no longer ferries

fatuous pleading.


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2

Toxic Sludge

  February 8th, 2019 by vwbeatles

I think I’ve reached my breaking point when it comes to forming relationships with people. My head feels so heavy, like thick black concrete forming a toxic sludge. No matter how much people tell me they care about me I can’t help but not feel that care. I can’t help but feel that they like someone else better, that I’ll alway be second best. I can’t help but think I will just die alone. I knew that if I were to just die today only my family would cry. And of course, I love my family. I am grateful for them. But there is something [...]
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