Chronic Pain

2

What the fuck should I do

April 25th, 2017by tuningout12

Fisrt of all I’m not proud of this. I’ve never thought I would be publishing something in a page like this. I guess there’s a first time for everything.

Second, I’m spanish that’s why my grammar sucks, pretty much that.

I have no idea where should I start. I’ve been depressed for a lot of years, I tried to kill myself a couple of times but I didn’t suceed.

Background:

My parents are not together, they divorced when I was eight. My mother started returning really late from work, kids started bullying me at school, but I could handle it, until I was twelve. My father was getting married …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

WHY is it so FU(£ING difficult to LOG IN HERE!???

April 24th, 2017by bobbywylie

I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!

There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????

 I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

tired

April 24th, 2017by plasticflower

i’m so tired, it’s basically part of my personality now

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

I cannot stop my brain

I cannot stop the thoughts and images bombarding my brain day in day out. How can I stop this madness!?

4

Im Ready to Die…

April 21st, 2017by -M-

This may be triggering for some, so dont continue if you think it will. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore…

Over the past three years, I have lost several important people in my life. Most of them walked out of my life purposefully without a goodbye; one died due to a disease we both are affected by. However, all of them have left me to wander through life stranded and alone. All of them took pieces of me away slowly and now nothing is left worth preserving.

So that is why I am here tonight: to tell everyone why I an ready and willing to …

0

So I’m crazy

April 21st, 2017by azuzu

They ask me tell them everything and now I’m crazy. I tell them about my sadness. I tell them about my self loathing. I tell them about my secret desires to be dead. I tell them about this black pit I’m in.

They tell me I’m crazy

0

Excorsism

What a joke, now I’m supposedly possessed? Witch lady says she sees something riding on my back. Bring on the voodoo doctors and things that go bump in the night. Maybe whatever it is will get the job done right and quick.

0

days

April 21st, 2017by scott

I never had a reason to live before. Getting older, I spent years trying to find one. I tried family, I’ve tried friends, I’ve tried love. I’ve tried sex, I’ve tried drugs, I’ve tried money. Nothing works. Nothing helps the sadness. It never goes away. It just grows and grows and grows and grows until it pulls you apart; tearing the very skin from your bones. It’s leaves and stems drenched in your blood and tears. Agony isn’t the word you’re looking for, it’s despair. You will always have these seeds of misery rooted in your soul. Your emptiness is the soil and your hope …

6

Freedom denied

April 20th, 2017by azuzu

Now I lay me down to sleep
Lord, I pray my soul you keep
I lean forward and push off the edge
I fall into a fog falling falling
With two downward thrusts I rise Above the fog. My wings are beautiful
I glide effortlessly through the clouds
Here is where I belong
Gliding effortlessly through the sky
Here I am powerful
Here I am hero
Here my dream is endless

5

Doesn’t give a fuck

My God sees me not My tears fall unchecked My screams go unheard Why am I damned? Why am I unforgiven? Why my god why?

2

Useless

April 20th, 2017by azuzu

I am broken

2

The Nothing Man

Sleeps sweet release Sleeps sweet embrace Is death better? Will I dream in death? Can I be and do things unimaginable Can I be a man? Can I stop being the Nowhere man doing nothing for nobody? I will leap into the blackness It will take me It knows that I belong I don’t belong […]

3

Mirrors

April 20th, 2017by azuzu

Been in this prison for years
My enemy
My biggest enemy
I hate you
I hate the sight of you
I wish you were dead
I hate you with all my being
I dream of putting a gun to your head
I dream of pulling the trigger
I dream of you with a rope around your neck
I kick the stool from under you myself
You stupid reflection!

3

My Road

1

A snippet

April 18th, 2017by Bluedreams

I feel the need to write here, because i’m back. back in this place I foolishly thought I could escape. I thought I could stop myself from drowning in my own head, but I can’t. I guess you could say this drop back into the abyss started with the first time I ever felt like this, but that’s another story for another time.

I feel this deep sorrow within myself, it always comes back. I find myself staring out the window at dawn, the soft pitter-patter of rain hitting the ground, the roof, and the trees. I find myself looking at the sky, which has a …

0

Battle Scars: 2017 Update

April 16th, 2017by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Today commemorates eight months since I have gotten the urge to turn to this forum. At my last visit, I was broken, and quite humorously, at this visit, broken no longer can summate my existence. In exactly one year, I have had few victories and so much pain and deception that I have crawled back into the safety of my introvercy. Since my last visit, (when I was a 18 year old bum, not attending school) I have made some progression. I currently work, go to school and volunteer regularly but my battle scars are still present, Scars that refuse to heal, scars which threaten …

2

What is depression to you?

April 15th, 2017by M_f_p

So this is my first time posting here. I’ve had depression for about 1.5yrs. Something I don’t really understand is why people don’t really understand what depression really is? Why are other things that are so pointless, educated in our lives like maths or science. I know there is so much to learn in this world but I guess you need to really feel it to know what it is.

Do you think killing your own self is worse than a terminal disease like cancer or even killing someone else? How hard would a decision like that be to kill your own self. Contemplation is my …

1

What makes me move on?

April 14th, 2017by kellinandrew

I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I …

3

Fucked Over by Public Schools

April 13th, 2017by kloudkat

I’m eighteen, I’m a senior in high school, and I’ve attended four different high schools, one for each year essentially. I’ve suffered from depression since I was eleven (due to childhood abuse), and during the beginning of my sophomore year, I suffered from my first severe flash back starting my downward spiral of PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. During the fourteenth week of school that year, I was admitted into a private mental health facility for inpatient treatment. I was there for eight days, and right afterwards, I attended iOP which is intensive outpatient; it lasted for six weeks. So I was gone from school …

4

Long-time thought

April 11th, 2017by Timshell

I always feel the same pain, the one that tells me that whatever I do, it will never be enough for me and for others. I am convicted. Convicted to live, to never be happy with myself. And even if it’s just an ephemeral feeling, what is the point to see that only after ? Everything will have been said and done, and I don’t want to be relatively satisfied with my life only when I look back. Because it will be too late. But too late for what ? I can’t even say.

How to live then ? And above all why ? I can’t …