My Suicide Note

8

It officially ends this week.

February 21st, 2017by MissingMy3Hearts31921

I have officially made up my mind and am at peace with it.  Time to say goodbye this weekend.  I wanted to go earlier but one of my daughters birthday is tomorrow so I am going to wait.

I learned that due to my NP hydrocephalus that I am about 18 to 24 months away from suffering the same symptoms as those with CTE.  It is almost like dementia.  I do not want to sit and be a burden to anyone.  Especially do not want to be a burden to my soon to be ex wife and my kids.  I think I have come to peace …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

5AM BPD/Love/Sob

February 20th, 2017by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

Mentally, a vegetable!

February 19th, 2017by nutjobcantlove

I just ordered my sleeping pills for the first time. I have been feeling xtremely suicidal after I lost my job and seeing the love of my life married to someone else. I have a feeling that there is nothing I do to screw things up but it somehow gets it’s own way out there. I have failed relationships in the past and it took me years to get back to a normal life (though I was stressed out of the “worthless” feeling Everyday). I stopped talkin to my friends as they keep saying the same crap that “things will get better” and the ‘shallow …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Eyes permanently shut

February 12th, 2017by doomhead

I just discovered this site and i felt some of the pain others expressed and it made me want to express mine that I feel like I couldn’t express to no body in person Bc they tell me something in response I could of told myself.. you know the pep talk or some bullshitt of telling you the reality of things.. fuck yo I know.. I hate hearing that shit.. what people think you should do or have to do.. it’s annoying so I don’t bother talking about my feelings with people who seem to just give you a common sense idea to help you.. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
26

My Last Letter

February 11th, 2017by The forgotten

I was wondering what I need to say and how to say what needs to be said to all my friends.

Cause this will be my last time talking to them.  I do not want to leave this place we call life with them wondering if they was the cause of my death.

Would someone be kind enough to help me?

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Hi?

February 9th, 2017by _lost._.one_

I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.

Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.

Processing your request, Please wait....
10

Feeling alone

February 8th, 2017by Nightterrors77

Guess I should say I stumbled upon this site by accident researching suicide and what would be the quickest and easiest way to go…  I’ve always had depression since I was a teen and just learned to deal with it. Lately it’s been so much worse with anxiety wrapped up in it too. Plus having relationship issues, I feel like I’m spinning in circles just begging for someone to take notice yet at the same time just pushing people away.

 

I lost someone i one I loved very much almost a year ago to suicide and I think about him constantly wishing I could be with …

Processing your request, Please wait....
19

Poems As Requested (Einsamkeit)

February 7th, 2017by Foxglove7

Many of these have no names/titles

1.

And that’s the difference between one day and the next
the Sun rises and the Sun sets
and I am small
a leaf carried,
rocked back and forth on an autumn breeze
every day fading, fading to gray
in the cooling distant sunlight
Ice and rain and cold nights
leech away ’til I am rice paper thin
translucent and ephemeral
as moth-eaten lace
decayed

And from this perspective decay is natural
the gradual fading from life a process
of absolution
heavy binding minerals drawn down first
salt and metal, run through by cold
Water
that cracks stone and cement faded gray
near-white
while autumn breezes blow dust
in leafy spiraling gusts
off these fleshy, talking bones that bear my name
more

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

I’m new

February 7th, 2017by Jomjamfiesta

I just want to fly

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

No Such Thing As Love

February 4th, 2017by ForeverLostAndLonely

I’ve wanted my life to end before. I’ve thought of ways I can do it that would have the least amount of impact on the people around me. My family would get over it. Relationships are hard for me so I don’t have any really close friends to worry about. I’ve tried counseling and I’ve taken medication. I’ve reached out to people when I’ve needed help. But you can only reach out to people so many times before you start bringing them down. That’s when they leave you. I’ve worked SO hard to hide this side of me from my boyfriend of two years. There …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

February 2nd, 2017by niki

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life

I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING !!!!
Real world is boring ! real-world is …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

I do not belong here.

January 30th, 2017by mintcigs

I am not denying the fact that life is beautiful. That there is so much in life that’s worth staying here for.

But, I do not feel like I belong here. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be.
I don’t want to die because I’m depressed or ungrateful for this life on Earth. But, it’s just that I feel off being in this existence.
Realization have changed my perspective on many things.

There’s so much going on in my mind that words can never express. So many things that I am that cannot be expressed. I feel so constricted in this physical reality, physical body. I probably sound like …

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

Tonight

January 29th, 2017by frostbittendreams

Tonight, I lost all of my friends.

Tonight, I lost my best friend.

Tonight, they are having dinner and celebrating a birthday, and didn’t invite me.

Tonight, I realize just how alone I truly am.

Tonight, I find myself unable to feel anything.

Tonight, I will end my life

Tonight, I write this and want to say the clichéd “It’s nobody’s fault.”

Tonight, I tell you that’s not the case.

Tonight, I’ll cap off this poem and then cap off all of the pills in my medicine cabinet.

Tonight, I say goodbye.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Drugged up Lemon

January 29th, 2017by RustyLemons

So. Here you are. Reading a note from some strange Internet lemon about how they’re gonna kill themselves.

Well. I guess it all started when I was a baby lemon. I was raised by a robot mother. I went to school- hmm? …. what’s a …fah-thur? Anyway. At about 9 I had my first existential break down and tried to hang myself. The pole broke (silly lemon) and hit me in the head and mom came home and didn’t suspect a thing and I didn’t reattempt because she was home. I’ve been cutting since then as a secret solution. A self cutting lemon. Bitter and bleeding.

I’ve …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Frustrating. When Life Keeps Betraying You Even After Death. “A Ballad of Life: Aram Niakan’s Suicide Story.”

It’s a slap on the face. It’s fu*king insulting how some unfortunate ones are screwed over in death, just as they were in life. There are so many places/countries where they don’t give a rat’s ass for somebody’s last will that it’s enraging..!

6

The Funniest Joke, The Second Installment of My Worthless Existence

January 15th, 2017by AKidWithAName

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my near-monthly shout into the void called the internet! Today, we present the second installment of a worthless piece of dog shit trying to reconcile their guilty conscience to no avail!

God, I am such a freak show. I’m not even saying this shit to be “edgy” or whatever. I am actually fucking hilarious to watch. I’ve been replaying memories of my worthless life and let me tell ya, it could win a fucking comedy award. Hok shit.

So, first, I honestly thought that my parents wanted me. Holy fuck, that was a good one. My parents? Ha. Wanting me? God, it’s …

10

My Story

January 14th, 2017by 90Grayson

Hello everyone, my name is Daniel, and I think I’m going to commit suicide very shortly, I want to anyways, not sure if I will though, since things in life change so much, but I hope that moment arrives in a week or two. I don’t know where to start, I’m done trying to figure out why I’m like this, why I have suicidal thoughts, why I cut myself, why I feel so much pain all the time. It sucks, it really sucks to be this way, I don’t believe in destiny, but I cannot avoid feeling like I am trapped, and have absolutely no …

9

Anyone want to discuss about philosophy

January 6th, 2017by nevertobe

I am planning on ending it in a couple of weeks or so maybe more or less depends when I get my house in order I am a 20-year-old seeking someone to talk about life and philosophy with and share and enjoy my last few weeks and leave in peace

3

Some Words

January 4th, 2017by ceeselena

There wasn’t a time I ever didn’t feel depressed. Even with the cocktail of drugs I’m always on. Everything hurts. I miss my dad. He killed him self 5 months ago. Today is my turn. I’m just done. A lot of people say it. Because it’s true. I don’t want to draw this out. I just want to say I’ve been hurting nonstop for 17 years and it’s gotten to the point where I just can’t be bothered anymore. I love my pets, and I feel they’re the only ones who will honestly miss me. Well, I know of about two people who will. But …

4

one year at most

January 4th, 2017by nevertobe

please forgive my grammar

I am a 20 years old will be 21 this year I am writing this not as a cry for help but to get it off my chest I am planning to kill myself in less than a year or when the opportunity presents itself I am doing it because of severe mental health issues I am still researching many ways to end it and honestly I feel happy and at peace with the idea of dying I am losing everything that has made me…. well me as my “issues” progress further I find myself scared not by death but living a …