My Suicide Note

1

End it

  December 8th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Im sick and tired
At times like this i miss you
I miss you so much

I collect all the pieces
Trying to make it into a nice picture
But its too sharp
But maybe not
Its just sharp for me

I want to be hurt by myself
I donr want to drag you in it
You have such a bright future
So you dont deserve person like me

I should end it
End it
End it
End it
End it

Its going to be my last time
When i meet you
I want to say
You know actually you are cool
And handsome when you are focused
And thats why i dont want to ruin it

I dont want to ruin your smile

I should end it
End it
End …

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5

Good Bye.

  December 4th, 2018 by AKidWithAName

I have no excuse to stay alive anymore.  I’ve lost the one person who meant something to me.  I don’t have anyone else to fall back on.  It’s my own fault for allowing myself to believe that I would actually get better.  I can’t feel anything anymore.  Everything is more fucked than usual.  There’s no reason for me to put off doing it anymore.  I think this might be a good bye.  I wish the best for everyone.

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3

Selfish.

  December 2nd, 2018 by AKidWithAName

I’m so confused.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  I don’t know where I stand with anyone anymore.  I keep fucking everything up for everyone.  My brain’s so fucked and I don’t know why.  Maybe I do.  I don’t know.  I don’t know if my parents actually care about me.

They used to beat the shit out of me.  They don’t seem to really remember that.  I don’t think they understood just how bad they hurt me when they did what they did.  I’m sure they’d think I was a ***** if I ever told them that “they hurt my feelings”, which sounds so …

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3

I step out.. but my body keep trembling

  December 1st, 2018 by Itscolourlife

I step out today
I finally step out today !!
It feels really weird..

I sit in the foodcourt balcony
And i can see people below me
Eating laughing crying

But i feel weird
My body keep trembling on its own..
Its like a nervous feeling
But idk what exactly..
My heart feels like im riding a scary rollercoaster
Its beating fast

My head start to hurt a little bit
My stomach feels weird

What is this??
WHAT IS THIS??

It feels so wrong
I try to take a deep breath..
But it wont disappear..

What is this…
Does anyone who have depression ever feel like this too?

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0

“What is your dream..?” he asked

  November 30th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

When he ask me
” What is your dream..? ”
I keep silence

And he said
” I just want to live right now.. at least ”
I keep silence

And when I finally say my thought
I say..
” Nothing ”

The time keep going for him
But the time already stop for me

I really want to say this
To you..
To the world..

” I want to fly and die beautifully surrounding by flower petals ”

It will be an unreachable dream
And like a gift
For me..

To you..
To whose birthday is 2 Dec
I dont want to hurt you
For the sake of the first love you had for me

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0

A Hat in Time

  November 28th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

I step out..
Im trying to step out today..
In my heart
I feel the burden
I feel sick
Thats why I want to step out
Finding the reason why Im still alive

No one there
For me.. so..
I step back
I open the door
With hesitation I lock it

Its okay
Im telling myself
Its okay
Im trying to smile
Smile
Instead the tears drop

Im asking
Why Im still here
Dying is so hard to do
Living is so hard to do
I realize
Im just leftover
Wilting by myself
Deep in the sea
Out of this world
Craving to breath the happy life

I crawl into my bed
Wrapped myself with the cold blanket
I face the lamp at the ceiling
Not shining
Its dark

I reach my fake world
Listen to the hat …

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8

It’s About Damn Time to Say Goodbye

  November 26th, 2018 by Hiccup

For as long as I can remember, I’ve hated myself. I feel stupid and worthless, like I have no real place in this world. There’s something wrong with me because I always struggle so much to know what to say. I’m pathetic, too much of a coward to stand up for what I believe in and so unmotivated I won’t amount to anything. I’m so ashamed of myself, I’m nothing more than a bad mistake. Instead of continuing to be a mistake, I’ll go ahead and do something I should have done a long time ago: end my stupid existence. This will do so many …

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7

I have been living a lie

  November 19th, 2018 by anonym254

I can’t stop shaking.

I’ve been lying to my parents for 3 years. They think I’m about to graduate from university when in fact I haven’t been going to school. My parents are so proud of me. It’s all a lie. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I have no friends, I have nobody except for my parents, where do I even begin to pick up my life? The son that they love is a complete lie, he doesn’t exist. i have had really bad social anxiety and depression that i haven’t been able to even get up and go to class.My …

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5

Suicide and Reasons

  November 19th, 2018 by FreeMyselfFromHell

I would share my comprehensive reasoning for suicide painstakingly compiled over the past decade…

But there’s a chance that people might act on it and fix the problems after I’m gone.

So I won’t 😀

I’ve done my research and found the most likely, least painful method which I can’t share here because the rules here say you are supposed to stay on earth suffering so they can get more use out of you while giving you nothing in return except the ‘privilege’ to suffer even more for even less.

But if I found it, you can too 😛

My only advice for those abandoning this evil hellhole is:

1. Be …

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10

Thursday, my rope arrives

  November 18th, 2018 by TheDyingEmperor

I want to say goodbye to everyone.

I ordered the rope which will be the noose that ends my life this Thursday.

I cannot live in this skin anymore. I’m not in control of myself and my day-to-day habits. I cannot improve myself in any way, I completely lack self-dicipline and motivation.

Sunday, I realised that there is no way out for me. Here I am, on a course, to study games, the only thing I’m interested in, and I put in 0 effort and neglect to pursue my dreams.

If I look back at the last 26 years, it’s been mostly suffering. There’s little for me to remember …

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0

I want to leave this hateful world

  November 17th, 2018 by Iwantoleave

People hate me, no one likes me. When they see my face they spit on ground. I didn’t harm anyone, but i don’t know why people hate me. I dont want to live in this world. Why only bad things are happening with me. Good bye everyone.

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3

Is Tonight The Night?..

  October 30th, 2018 by Garce Anderson

The night has been shitty

The week has been shitty

The month has been shitty

The past too many years have been shitty and I’m really over it.

I haven’t cut in two years and i was proud of myself but tonight was a hard night.

I got in the shower, few hours later… blood.

Now I’m laying in bed, wanting the pain to stop.

I know it won’t happen but I don’t know what else to do…

I have my pills and razor next to me thinking of what to do next.

My head is  buzzing, all i can think is how therapy and pills aren’t enough. Nothing is enough. I fucking hate …

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1

feeling nothing

  October 27th, 2018 by x0zz

I can’t recognize myself in the mirror , have no money to buy drugs that cure me, no friends , everyone I now used me , my family used me , my family did hurrible things to me , things I can’t say , or remember , I lost my memories , I don’t remember who I was , can’t say who I am now , I have no future , all the things in my life was someone’s else plan , I never did or sayed the things I want , I always react as they want me , I could killed for stupid …

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2

I dont belong to this world

  October 22nd, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Its not me
Its me
I want me
Its not me
I hate me
Its me
I love me
Its not me

This place that I dont belong to
Where is the place I belong to
No one care about me
The good deed I did
The other receive the happiness
Me?
No one remember me
Why?
A?
A?
You dont belong here
Dont you hear me?
The hell is your place to go

You hate everyone in this world
You hate yourself
No one care about you
No one love you
You are like satan
Since a kid you are just..
Satan

Useless
Till now..

Be normal..
You crooked mind..

Die with us
Keep the sadness
Slowly slowly
Turn it into hatred

But Im here
No one see you

They can
But they dont care

They care
When you are normal and be doll to …

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5

Pain and humiliation

  October 17th, 2018 by SamG

I’m over this life of mine…

I am working on ways to end my pain that I live with daily.  I am slowly planning my suicide leaving no room for error because I need the attempt to work.  I first of all need to draw up a will and have it legalised. That way all money from my super etc. goes to my husband for him to be able to support our children.

I can’t live with how I am feeling for much longer….just recently I have had family humiliate me and make me feel so worthless I know I am better off dead.

I can’t do this …

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1

Until your dead

  October 16th, 2018 by thelonergirl123

Why is it when you suddenly die, everyone is like oh “she was so loved” or “I’m going to miss her”.   Am I the only one thinking you’ll miss throwing stuff at her and posting on the hate page you created about her. I guess once you die people just love to hear “I’m so sorry for your loss” and get attention off of your death at least that’s what they’re doing with hers.

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1

Numb

  October 6th, 2018 by Undecided13

I’m in that point of life when I could no longer feel the sadness, no longer feel the pain. I could no longer feel anything. Its like I’m just numb. Just drifting into the darkness that had broken me more times that I could count. So much pain, I wished for it all to disappear. I wanted to escape, because I am too much a coward to face it. I guess I got my wish, then.

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8

no way out

  October 6th, 2018 by AKidWithAName

She was drunk.  Doesn’t that make it my fault?  She was raped before.  That’s the only reason she did it.  She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her.  She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right?  And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality.  She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me.  She stripped me of any hope for a future.  There is nothing after this.  Not even death could let me escape this hell.  It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by …

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3

I’m Sorry

  September 30th, 2018 by impuretama

I’m sorry I’m ugly

I’m sorry I’m useless

I’m sorry that I’m not smarter

I’m sorry that I’m not more athletic

I’m sorry for being so annoying

I’m sorry for being a piece of shit

I’m sorry that I’m not better at my job

I’m sorry that I’m fat

I’m sorry that I can’t cook better meals

I’m sorry that weak

I’m sorry that I’m emotional

I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic

I’m sorry to anyone that has to deal with me

I’m sorry that I exist

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6

Sun Rises

  September 28th, 2018 by Imaginary Girl

[A suicide note draft from my notebook]

 

 

At the time I am writing this, the sun is rising. I’ve always kind of had a soft spot for the sunrise. Especially when you stay up all night to watch it. Waking up just to see the sunrise is nice too, however, I think it’s a lot harder to wake up than stay up.

I have good memories of sunsets, but a part of me likes sunrises more because I don’t have as many memories tied to them.

The night sky is also extremely calming, but it has the ability to fill you up with adrenaline.

At one of my old …

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