“I bow down to pray I try to make the worst seem better Lord, show me the way To cut through all his worn out leather I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away But baby, I just need one good one to stay “ This song is way to close to how I […]
My Suicide Note
March 23rd, 2017by Music Is My Escape
I know you tried just to hide your secret hatred for me,
But I guess you shouldn’t have bothered ’cause you knew that I was gonna go anyway.
I’m sorry that I was never what you ever wanted,
But I guess you won’t even bother, ’cause at least I’ll never disappoint you again.
Hey there, long lost friend,
Do you finally want to see me again, now that I am long, long, gone?
Don’t you dare apologize for all those things that you didn’t do,
’cause every conflict that we had was for me to take the blame, and it’s always been my fault that I threw it all on …
March 22nd, 2017by Aquarium
Well i guess my story isn’t really easy to tell, without talking about my past. So if your willing to read a page to listen, i would be thankful.
If you want to skip my past then why i will be killing myself at the end of the year, Will be at the bottom of the page..
(Forgive my spelling and grammar.. I have no education )
Before i was born, i was not exactly planned. My mom was 17 and my dad was 21. Both my parents had really bad and horrible pasts. My mom was raped as a child by a lot of men, And no …
March 22nd, 2017by AKidWithAName
DEAR FUCKING ME,
As of yesterday, I’ve officially come across the most miserable day of my year: the day of my entrance into this god-forsaken abyss! Who wouldn’t want to remember my birth, where I nearly died twice before I even got out of my fucking mom (who didn’t even want me, by the way). I really must’ve fallen short; birth is an easy time to die.
I could always blame it on the sadists the world calls doctors. They didn’t really want me to live either, I’m sure (who could fucking blame them?). Unfortunately, their job calls for them to try to keep even the most …
March 18th, 2017by Jen
“A punctuation at the end of a sentence gives meaning to every space, every word that preceded it.”
I have suicidal thoughts but not the unpleasant ones. I mean, suicide has become my goal in life. My motivation to work hard and earn enough money to complete my masterpiece.
I don’t know if this is weird… i want to commit suicide not because I hate my life or because i feel depressed and sad or wtvr but because i want that event to be like what is said in the title “masterpiece”. An art. My perfected art. The message it should convey must be not too absurd …
March 18th, 2017by Moon gazer
Chasing after the moon.
Under a cloudless sky.
The stars suppressing my sense of self.
Forgetting my demons.
Forgetting my scars.
Trying to grasp the moon.
Hoping to steal the secret to its peace.
Content to rise and fall.
To always shine just for itself.
My cries fall into oblivion.
My hands always failing to reach it.
Still chasing after it.
Awaking from my dream.
The moon still in the sky.
Still away from my reach…
by moon gazer
March 13th, 2017by BrokenDreamer
All my life I’ve tried to do the right thing and all my life I got pain and abuse.
Years back everything was destroyed by a hurricane and lost that I owned and my health started to fail.
In 2014 my father died due to med mal. I’m on disability having gotten a severe debilitating condition. I’m in massive chronic pain. Greedy relatives tried to the little money my father had.
I have no one to help me.
In 2015 I got abused by 2 medical facilities and imprisoned in one due to a false statement someone made. I witnessed an African-American beaten by hospital security severely in the …
March 10th, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN
distances many men are incapable of doing
I did things that while moral and proper left me exhausted
i, I never, ever have worked so hard in my life
I ran things, boss like. To no avail for I failed a lot
I did things hoping that one day I could see you again and hoping
that I co uld be there for you and hoping that I could be that person,
That you looked up to, that person you could look forward to being
the reason why I stayed around
the reason why I worked so hard
the reason why I never gave up (offered myself), the reason why I …
March 10th, 2017by erick06610
my name isn’t very important, i been dealing with depression since I was 18 that’s when it all started. When I turn 21 got married the a year later she left me for my cousin, then I found out that I had gout, then arthritis, high blood pressure and finally kidney failure, I’m tired of my life. I can’t never be happy. When I talk to a girl and tell her that I’m on dialisis they stop talking to me. I been contemplating suicide for a few day now, I been thinking how to kill myself, if I should take oxycodone, methadone, trazodone or all …
March 9th, 2017by badcat2
I’m finally at peace. Please don’t be mad. I know you will miss me, but take comfort in the fact that I don’t have to be miserable anymore.
I know “things will get better”. But things always go back to being unbearable. Even when I was doing good I always had the fear of it going bad. The worst always comes when things were going good and the rest is just difficult. 80% bad versus 20% good is just not worth it.
I didn’t do this out of distress or even depression. I finally feel calm and at peace. I’ve never had that fight for life feeling. …
March 6th, 2017by Ka7613
This is going to hurt my sister so much. It’s going to hurt my dad, because he showed me where the pills were, not knowing what I was about to do.
This might not work. I don’t know if I want it to work. Maybe I just want to be taken seriously. I guess either will do. Death or help. Both sound okay.
I guess I’ll see you if I see you.
March 2nd, 2017by NoOneIsHere
As a teenager and through my early twenties, I used to think that me being alone was because the world was full of **** and that I was being graded on how well I conformed. But over the years I’ve begun to see that I’ve failed everyone in my life. I don’t know how to be a real person. I cannot give people what they need. I know the words but I don’t know how to speak the language. And I can no longer delude myself into believing the world is at fault while pretending that I’m not an empty shell of a human being. …
February 23rd, 2017by Elliot97
After rebuilding my life to a point of “ok”, I met someone.
2 years we’ve been together now and I just give give give and she sucks the happiness from me.
2 years it took her for to tell me everything was a lie.
5ft 9″ drop length, 10000N force, 16mm triple braided rope.
Thank you for being a place to vent in times of need; hope you all find what you’re looking for.
February 21st, 2017by MissingMy3Hearts31921
I have officially made up my mind and am at peace with it. Time to say goodbye this weekend. I wanted to go earlier but one of my daughters birthday is tomorrow so I am going to wait.
I learned that due to my NP hydrocephalus that I am about 18 to 24 months away from suffering the same symptoms as those with CTE. It is almost like dementia. I do not want to sit and be a burden to anyone. Especially do not want to be a burden to my soon to be ex wife and my kids. I think I have come to peace …
February 20th, 2017by Elliot97
Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …
February 19th, 2017by nutjobcantlove
I just ordered my sleeping pills for the first time. I have been feeling xtremely suicidal after I lost my job and seeing the love of my life married to someone else. I have a feeling that there is nothing I do to screw things up but it somehow gets it’s own way out there. I have failed relationships in the past and it took me years to get back to a normal life (though I was stressed out of the “worthless” feeling Everyday). I stopped talkin to my friends as they keep saying the same crap that “things will get better” and the ‘shallow …
February 12th, 2017by doomhead
I just discovered this site and i felt some of the pain others expressed and it made me want to express mine that I feel like I couldn’t express to no body in person Bc they tell me something in response I could of told myself.. you know the pep talk or some bullshitt of telling you the reality of things.. fuck yo I know.. I hate hearing that shit.. what people think you should do or have to do.. it’s annoying so I don’t bother talking about my feelings with people who seem to just give you a common sense idea to help you.. …
February 11th, 2017by The forgotten
I was wondering what I need to say and how to say what needs to be said to all my friends.
Cause this will be my last time talking to them. I do not want to leave this place we call life with them wondering if they was the cause of my death.
Would someone be kind enough to help me?
February 9th, 2017by _lost._.one_
I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.
Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.
February 8th, 2017by Nightterrors77
Guess I should say I stumbled upon this site by accident researching suicide and what would be the quickest and easiest way to go… I’ve always had depression since I was a teen and just learned to deal with it. Lately it’s been so much worse with anxiety wrapped up in it too. Plus having relationship issues, I feel like I’m spinning in circles just begging for someone to take notice yet at the same time just pushing people away.
I lost someone i one I loved very much almost a year ago to suicide and I think about him constantly wishing I could be with …