Category:

My Suicide Note

I will be writing my mum’s obituary and a eulogy then I will make a start on my suicide note

by LondonEllie 10/12/2023

written by LondonEllie

I do not yet know the precise method outside of asphyxiation. It’s funny because as a child I had an intense and recurring dream that I died by drowning in a previous life. Looks like it’s going to be similar in this life, in terms of breathing.

My mum died last week and I absolutely cannot and will not continue in life without her.

I hope there is an after life or reincarnation (though ideally I would just have a lifelong rest).

My biggest fear is something interrupting what I do and I awake but with a severe disability and can then never do anything for myself but […]

10/12/2023 2 comments

The worst and most unsolveable problem

by bixah68179 10/5/2023

written by bixah68179

I’m new to this forum, so I don’t know how taboo this topic is. But my situation is as the title says — I’m in serious danger of going through with it because of the shame and pain I feel over never having been in a relationship or having sex. I’m at the point where I’m preparing a suicide note. My whole life, I’ve (probably?) dealt with depression in one form or another. I’ve been depressed over doing poorly in school, being bullied, not having friends — the list goes on. But, all those problems ended up being solveable.

Not this one, though. I have lost […]

10/5/2023 7 comments

I’ll be honest I can’t stand being Trans anymore

by AnonIsInAnotherWorld 9/29/2023

written by AnonIsInAnotherWorld

So lets start from the beginning back to the pandemic. Honestly I consider the pandemic the best time of my life! Despite it being terrible for everyone else, it was truly the best. I had lots of friends I spoke to everyday, school was incredibly easy, and my parents were proud of me. Fast forward to the July 2021 and I realize I am fucking trans. It was the worst! I knew I was bisexual for most of my life (despite me constantly hating myself for it AMAB btw), but now I was trans? Fuck. So I came out the month later and mom didn’t […]

9/29/2023 7 comments

There is no meaning of life

by niki 9/15/2023

written by niki

There is no meaning of life. We just exist, and die. And life goes on, and on, and on. For million, billion of years, etc etc etc.

We are just a speck of dust in the vast universe, in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, 90% (or 99%?) of people (human beings) will always try to find or give ‘meaning/purpose’ in their own insignificant lives, because the reason is simple: it’s survival instinct. Human beings (people) will (usually) try to keep living, keep surviving, no matter what. It’s evolutionary. It’s in human nature.
Even if it means people (humans) will create anything as their toxic positivity […]

9/15/2023 6 comments

Why try?

by whyarewelikethis 8/24/2023

written by whyarewelikethis

I don’t know why I try. I’ve been suicidal for 4 years and have had many attempts but they all fail. Am I a coward? Am I not strong enough? I think I am. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times. Nothing helps. I don’t want anything to help. My therapist doesn’t get that. I want them to understand, but I also don’t. I am just a big contradiction. Am I not suicidal enough? I am. Then why am I alive? I don’t know. School starts soon. I hate it. I go so I can hide in the bathroom and cut. Why do I cut? The answer […]

8/24/2023 3 comments

Guiltless

by someonewhoknows 6/6/2023

written by someonewhoknows

So.. this is it.

I guess this is what it took..

I guess everything’s just added up, and now I’m more certain than I’ve ever been that this is the right choice for me.

I’m so tired of everything.. and I feel that I can’t even explain what brought me to this point because I’m just too tired.

But it’s not fair.. if I just cease to exist without calling out all the wrongness in this world.

This.. fucked up.. life.. where nobody cares about the consequences of their actions.. where everyone lives for themselves and nobody bats an eye at those who are constantly victimized and harassed. Made to […]

6/6/2023 0 comment

25 minutes remaining

by johnny2good 4/24/2023

written by johnny2good

I ruined my moms paradise. “Youre just like your father, you came into my paradise and ruined it”. I was homeless and between jobs. I helped around the house, I tried keeping conversations with her, but every time I was met with disdain. It was just a repeat of my childhood. Except my father wasnt around to physically abuse me. My mom was there to still be emotionally abusive though. She let her ex-boyfriend constantly use the f-slur around me even after expressing to them both multiple times Im uncomfortable with it because of my being bisexual. She even made excuses for him. […]

4/24/2023 1 comment

Death to me

by deadbehr 4/19/2023

written by deadbehr

when I was a child I got bullied a lot but now I became a evil dead beat can’t forget what happened to me cause unfortunately I’m the one who deserves to have no heart beat my life has no meaning no pulse all I though I had was all false I tried to better my self but all I do is ruin my self no one loves me couse I’m just a dead beat so I wonder why god even wasted his time with me couse Im just a dead beat I deserve to be dead I lost lots of love ones that didn’t […]

4/19/2023 0 comment

Deadman walking

by deadbehr 4/19/2023

written by deadbehr

Sometimes i smile but it’s just a cover tired just tired of living I have no meaning and no meaning to life I’m just a lost soul lost with no cause no reason to be roaming this earth just a big pile of dust is what I should be. couse this life of mine has no meaning to me or feeling couse my vains run with peer disappointments for my love ones I was always the great disgrace and have to be put in my place death is what I wish I have god should take me instead of taking my love ones […]

4/19/2023 2 comments

Done

by elliecats 4/13/2023

written by elliecats

My cat died today. He got out and I can’t find him, How do I know he is dead, then? Because I can feel his ghost.

The universe can fuck itself. If there’s a god, it can fuck itself. The whole world can fuck itself. I am so fucking tired. No matter what i do, it’s 1 step forward and ten back. Whatever god is out there is having a laugh at my pain, and since I’m no one special, I suspect it is laughing at everyone else who is in pain, too.

I just read that “experts” figured out that giving up on life can literally […]

4/13/2023 9 comments

Daughter

by oldscull 4/7/2023

written by oldscull

My dearest Daughter,

I’m sorry for the tragedies in the past several years, many of them my fault.

Below is a list of my sorries:

I’m sorry that I fought with your mom all those years.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to keep brother alive.
I’m sorry for having depression and anxiety and not being a father to you.
I’m sorry for embarrassing you in public with my anxiety/panics.
I’m sorry for making others around you in public feel awkward because I have crooked eyes, high-pitched voice and other unattractive attributes.
I’m sorry for being the black sheep of my family.
I’m sorry that you had to see how law enforcement treats/abuses me.
I’m […]

4/7/2023 24 comments

My time has finally come

by v1c70ry 3/22/2023

written by v1c70ry

7 years ago I predicted that I would die at this time of this particular year.
At the time of writing this, I can safely say that I have been defeated on all fronts.
Academically and professionally I am convincingly outperformed, physically I grow fragile and weak, my eyes are blurry, my voice – quiet.
I have always enjoyed defeat. Victory is a burden. Defeat is freedom.
My dream has always been to just sleep away till eternity alone in a comfy bed, away from the pandemonium that is society and humanity.

I tried my best but alas, life isn’t for everyone […]

3/22/2023 1 comment

I’m So Tired

by AlwaysMauli 2/5/2023

written by AlwaysMauli

I guess if i told the people around me that I’m depressed and suicidal, they would say I’m too young to know what that means. I no longer have a backup plan, for the method I dreamed so longingly about found its way to be as torturous as life. Yeah, I’ve done my research.
Things used to be easier when I didn’t have someone to disappoint. And then my stupid ass decided to fall in love, and I basically tell him everything. We’re dating? Fun. Half the time I feel guilty for lying to my parents about him and the other half is spent feeling […]

2/5/2023 5 comments

Unfortunately I’m done

by jackd11 1/24/2023

written by jackd11

I am 85% sure tonight is the night. My name is Jack and I want my last words to be to my teddy bear, Teddy. Dear teddy, I love u you’re my only true best friend and I know I can tell you all this your sitting on my chest but I want to write this down for people to see because u deserve the world. I’m sorry for leaving u but I’m sure ur soul will follow me wherever I go at least I hope so. For all the 17 years we’ve been together, you’ve never hurt me, made me upset, insulted me. You’re […]

1/24/2023 3 comments

Maintaining My Mental

by Itscolourlife 1/16/2023

written by Itscolourlife

trying to maintain my mental health thru someone
someone that love me and know my story
weve been together since 2010
from a friend to best friend to love
from cheerful to depressed version

started to
loving myself
grooming myself
looking into the bright side
trying to be better

but i
afraid to be in relationship
relationship is a frail thing
break like a glass
cant be forever

and what makes me scared the most
what if i dont love him back
what if he develop depression too
what if i fail you?

just like today
when my parents trying to take the mental health stability i earned and […]

1/16/2023 1 comment

Is it worth it?

by savaiina 1/16/2023

written by savaiina

lately every time i take a step forward, something throws me back 3 steps. [background; long story short, my father killed himself when i was 5, i blamed myself, mother got into an abusive relationship and got on drugs. when i was 11 i moved with my aunt, (somehow got even worse) ive had drugs pushed on me the whole time here, lots of drinking and fighting, lying to police, etc.,, i was treated like a slave and belittled by my cousins for 4 years. so so much more that i cant even begin to explain.] The first time i tried to kill myself was […]

1/16/2023 2 comments

Dear family…

by Miss.Mikii 1/13/2023

written by Miss.Mikii

Dear mom; I wish you could see what was really going on with me, i wish you could see the truth on what is wrong with me… I wish you knew that you’re the reason I’m like this, I didn’t want to be like this… you have made me feel as if i was just a big problem in your life… I’m sorry for being born.

Dear Dad; I love you dad so much you treat me better than mom but… why… why do you have to make me and my sister unconfutable? you shouldn’t be sneaking pictures of us and not tells us why… “Cheese”…. […]

1/13/2023 0 comment

My own box of lie

by Itscolourlife 12/31/2022

written by Itscolourlife

I thought telling myself im getting better
Telling you im getting better
Will actually make me feel better
But its not
Its just makes me feel lonelier more than before
Trapped in my box of lie coating with happiness
Im so sorry i choose to left this way
But even if i ask and scream for help
You wont help me
You wont be here
Only my smile and cheerful side makes you happy
Makes you closer
Guess everyone loves the sunshine
But forget about the rain in the same sky

12/31/2022 0 comment

am i getting better or am i getting numb

by Itscolourlife 12/30/2022

written by Itscolourlife

There are so many things i should prepare for my mom, dad, sis, best friends, friends, and enemy.
But do i really need to do all of that?
Im afraid they will be sad cause im gone
But will my letter and gifts makes them understand what ive been thru or makes them less sad?

Should i jump from a building?
Should i drink the mix of drugs?
Should i cut my neck/wrist?

Im so afraid to live yet im afraid to hurt them too
At the same time
Im happy cause there will be someone crying in my funeral and to leave this painful feeling

Ive been […]

12/30/2022 3 comments

The Woods at the End

by Aradia Joy 12/23/2022

written by Aradia Joy

In these woods I stand belong to me.
They’re burnt and barren as far to see;
The skies are dark and a storm is coming
There is no shelter for me.

It might be unwise to wait just a bit
But my weariness compels me to sit
As the winds pick up and the thunder rumbles
I cup my hands around to get my cigarette lit.

I’ve made too many mistakes while on my path
It’s plain to see and as easy as math.
There’s no time left and honestly I’m very tired
To face the stress, the hurt, the wrath.

These woods might not be pretty, green […]

12/23/2022 1 comment

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