Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

1

Missing her

May 25th, 2017by JasonTodd97

Its killing me. The loss of my mom is rotting me away from the inside out. Before she died I hadnt ever worked a day in my life. And in 24 hours I lost my mom, and my grandfather. Along with my place to live and my security blanket. Now that shes gone I dont know how to cope. I just want to run back and spend even one moee minute with her. Hear her voice. Stop rememberimg how her body tremvled as we waited for the machines that were keeping her alive tk stop. I just wanted more time. But I cant handle it.

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1

I Want To Die

May 25th, 2017by Todamnbad

My life has always been a living hell. Grew up in a dysfunctional family. Suffered a lot of verbal abuse and some physical. It was so bad my friends were scared to come over. That started when I was 8 years old and all that time beforehand, I had a normal childhood. It was when my mom got the new boyfriend shit changed which was when I was 8 and so forth. I was a smart kid and I considered myself smart. A and B student through high school. Had high self esteem. Didn’t have too many friends which didn’t bothered me. Lack of friends …

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3

Why am i alive

May 25th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Seriously… why the f am I here? I just don’t get myself.. everything planned is ready. The tools are placed. But I’m making excuses. Why? I keep telling myself “eventually it’s over, but stay a few months longer for the hell of it” I bought a computer for games. Considering I spend most of my time now.. hiding from sound. I had surgery to fix my ears.. didint work.. we’re going for another attempt/ approach in a month.. I don’t know why I’m trying to fix myself when I’m just going to suicide soon. I guess I’m just scared and I still wanna live in …

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23

First Time

May 24th, 2017by JasonTodd97

So here I am. A 19 year old failed writer. Basically an orphan.  Mom died 5 months ago now in January. I wont bore anyone with my sad story because well, we all have them.

We are all broken. But my edges are so jagged they just keep cutting deeper. So here I am. At the precipice. Invited by books about websites like this. Too curious and too broken for my own good. Maybe finding other like minding souls or falling into my own madness.

Here I am.

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8

I need to be a human.

May 23rd, 2017by Maddie.Shit

hey everybody,can you help me this time?this time my problem is not about my parents hating me or my overweight or friends and people around me ,this time my problem is that i lost my feelings ,dad was about to die, mother freaked everything out and finally they separated,if it was the old me ,i would have died to hear such news.if it was the new me ,i would have been very happy .but guess what?i did not give a fuck about this sometimes I wonder if someone has stolen my heart?where had all my feelings gone?right now i rarely cry ,but when i do,i …

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2

I want to disappear

May 22nd, 2017by _Angel_x

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t feel anything anymore and I can’t stop crying.

I’ve started cutting again.

I’ve started drinking again.

And attempting to throw up my food.

It’s all come back so fast it feels like the world is crashing down on me and I can’t take it.

I need everything to just stop for a few days. College, the future, Time , Life.

I just need to disappear and I fear if I don’t find a way then I’ll just kill myself.

I’m so fucking tired I just cant do this anymore.

I give up.

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9

my worth is in the comments

May 22nd, 2017by Milestiba

I am so stupid. All my life, I have measured my worth on the comments. Now, with social media, it is exemplified.

And I am a blood sucking parasite. I suck the life out of those who show me any attention. I can’t help myself. It is an addictive compulsion.

They tell me it is explained as Borderline Personality Disorder, but I call it torture. Both for me and the other person. The world would be better off without me.

Where can I find the resolve to finally commit suicide? The pain is all-consuming… overpowering… causing constant despair.

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2

The Light At The End Of THIS Tunnel Is An Oncoming Train

May 21st, 2017by Milestiba

Hi. I am new.

They sure don’t make it easy to get on here. I first registered an account, but found out that email provider had deleted my account. Without being able to check that email account, I couldn’t get a password. So I registered a second account and never got the email. Then I reset the password and THAT email finally came through. So, I could sign in and try and participate. But then, of course, the internet on my phone acted up!! For a person who spent the last three nights on the phone with more than one crises line each night – the …

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1

I should be the one died…

May 21st, 2017by andriealthomas

There are five of us. im the middle child, i have an older sister, an older brother, a younger sister, and a younger brother. our age difference wasnt that much either, so we’re more likely to hang out as friends. our relationships are so close even our friends are jealous of us. we’re like bestfriends because we can talk about almost everything together. mom and dad always loved it when all five of us gather, and hang out and joke around. we were so perfect.
But out of five of us, im the one whos different. theres just someting wrong with me. plus me being the …

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4

Out of sight Out of mind

May 21st, 2017by Baked13

It’s funny how the people you were closest to can forgot you so fast, move on like you were never here.

It’s somewhat comforting at the same time because I now know that when I leave, I’ll be forgotten just as fast.

I think about him everyday. He left me broken.

 

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1

What is reality?

May 19th, 2017by Alfred1688

As we try to survive in this world we live in

We seek out meaning for the life that was given

Some search for it their entire youth

Yet little find it or see the truth

Majority give up when all hope is lost

Others are consumed by the lies they came across

We all believe it gets better after it gets worse

But those words do not apply on this curse

Even if we tried to satisfy every need

There is no cure for one’s greed

It destroys us like a cancer

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3

Demon Road

Though we find ourselves alone in our pain and blackness we are many. Funny how demons push and guide us individually, but we are many. Alone in the dark we cry for deaths sweet release, but we are many. Hopeless am I here by myself, but we are many.  We are legion 

1

I don’t know

May 17th, 2017by lilyv943

Seriously, why do I even try?

 

All she cares about is him. As long as he’s in her life, she doesn’t care about me even though I’ve been here for her this entire time. But, I guess it’s hard to care for something you can’t see..

 

She’s all I’ve ever known. The love of a mother or a father was always scarce to me, so of course I began to grow closer to her since she basically gave me that feeling I’ve been missing out on. But, I have to face it that I was only her income. Only ever everyone’s income. She doesn’t care and I have …

13

Sweet Sleep

My life is such that the only thing I look forward to is sleep. In my dreams I am free of everything including gravity. Sweet dreams where I am hero. I awake sometimes in tears because of the simple fact that I woke up. I long for an eternal sleep. Hero forever

6

IT’S NOT ALWAYS COMPLICATED.

May 11th, 2017by Baked13

It’s simple.

I want to die
Every ounce of me feels dead already anyway.

9

How to kill yourself

May 8th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Okay lets face it, its not that easy. Regardless of the method, whether itd be gun, pills, gassing, jumping, explosion, train or just whatever its really hard to pull through with it. Because lets be honest death is not something that’s a walk in the park. We don’t know how bad its going to hurt, even if its the most “painless” of methods. The fact is only those that know aren’t here to tell. SO.. with all that said. I want to get into detail about what it may take to overcome that fear and actually commit suicide. Lets not even call it suicide, lets …

11

fight it

May 8th, 2017by sailorsfight

I am 26 years old, sailor by profession. I am a very shy and let alone type of a guy, had problems making friends as a child. As i grew up i became even more emotional and sensitive. People say i am smart but i dont feel like it, I think i am average. I think i am a kind and a good hearted person but i do get evil thoughts at times and i have to fight to get them out telling myself “those are bad thoughts”. Since my teenage days i have had suicidal thoughts. I have been in ” in love” situations …

3

I SPOKE TOO SOON

May 3rd, 2017by Baked13

He’s gone.
His flat-line still ringing in my head

1

I just want to write something

May 2nd, 2017by bbgdz

Hello.

First I want to apologize for my English, it is not my native language.

 

It is already  one year that  I am asking to god every day to return me back in time (two years would be enough). I made a lot of mistakes in my life but its two years since I began making major mistakes.

I am very weak person very very weak and all of my problems I have now is only my fault.

I was happy, open minded and social person, with lot of perspectives and possibilities, with wonderful family and amazing friends. Now I have none of them except of family they still …

1

I seen it happen

May 1st, 2017by augusttwentysixteen

PLEASE READ…

I know my own little segment I am about to write may be pointless to most people, but I want to share my story to some people. To all those people, learning how to tie a noose, or learning what you can drink to die faster, or even learning the best pill to take to end your life, please don’t. As a child of suicide, I’ve come to realize how goddamn pointless other people’s pleas to not end your life can be. I mean, I tried to end my life a total of 10 or 11 times, I really stopped keeping track after the …