Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

1

School…

February 19th, 2018by nonexistingsoul

I’m on my 3rd year in college. Only one more year left… But I’ve been not going to class for about 2 weeks. Going there feels like someone is strangling me and I feel like all of their eyes are looking at me and judging me. I feel like shit. I feel like a trash. I’m useless. Although my parents think I’m going to school, but I don’t and I only go at the place where I dreamed of living by myself. The city that is bright and beautiful at night. The city where full of artist like me are there. The city where I …

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3

alone

February 18th, 2018by iamdarling

well, the truth is, i’m all alone in this world.

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2

When the Breakdown is Over

February 17th, 2018by Iucy

This is one of poems I’ve written: When the breakdown is over
The worst part about a breakdown is when it’s over
For a few minutes that feel like years
You just sit there, with your bloodshot eyes and your tear stained face…
emotionless
Everything around you is quiet
And you’re sad; you’re so so sad
Yet everything is numb
Everything is empty
You look straight ahead into the nothingness that you are
Then… you think back to what happened a few minutes ago
And you wish you could go back in time
Just so that you could comfort your own self
So that you could give yourself a hug, because no one else would
So that you could …

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5

thanks a lot rachel

February 15th, 2018by Tonislav

i just asked my dad for help on my homework and he really f**king told me not to cut my veins because of it. thank you dad i really appreciate you helping me in life in general since you’ve been always by my side (not).

He worked on another country for about 6 years maybe more and yeah i know he is trying to earn money so i can be in a good school and get better education and shit but like seriously i left my country where all of my friends are, im having a shitty time here aaaand he still can’t fking help me …

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7

The hotline

February 3rd, 2018by zkolijn

A few days ago my fiancé told me that he almost committed suicide. This had torn me down and I thought it was my fault. I wasn’t able to help him because he kept this from me. He kept this from me because he was scared of hurting me.

Since he told me, I have had visions of being at his funeral. I have been an emotional mess. I know it wasn’t my fault but I felt like I failed him. I am so grateful that he was sound enough to call the suicide hotline number before he did.

He told me that I am his reason for …

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2

Well I Think This IS Probably My End

February 1st, 2018by the_black_3th_of_april.exe

So like the guy in my post of yesterday said: “things will get worse”. So has he said it happened. Today was a great fucking bad day. The mom of my girlfriend told me she couldn’t come to my home so she went sad, then they fight and when she told me a good thing among fucking bullshit that maybe she could come to my home, 10 minutes later she told me that it is done, she finished the relationship because she eared his mom talking whit is dick stepdad and that asshole told her bullshit and to end the problems she left me and …

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10

I was raped…

February 1st, 2018by AJ

On the 29th of December.
I lost my virginity.
To my now ex boyfriend.
I didn’t say no.
But I most definitely didn’t say yes.
I was too scared.
He was emotionally manipulative and I knew that “no” wasn’t an answer to him.
So I kept my mouth shut.
I lay there.
And took it.
It only occurred to me today that it was wrong.
I’m a fucking idiot.
But now I can’t breath.
I want to rip my skin off.
Every part he touched now burns with repulsion and I can’t take it.
Fuck

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12

help regarding trichotillomania

January 30th, 2018by iamdarling

(i know this isn’t the right place to post this but i can’t find anything related to this issue anywhere else on the internet)

 

so, i need some help. i have had trichotillomania for the past five years, and i have been trying to beat it/recover idk for about one and a half years.

i pull at my eyelashes, and sometimes i notice that my eyes look more sparse/bare, even when i haven’t been pulling. i’m pretty sure i haven’t been pulling without realising because my fingernails are quite short and also, the lashes tend to ‘dissapear’ in places that the lashes would be too short for …

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0

January 28th, 2018by Dehahs

no comment

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4

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

January 26th, 2018by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & …

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1

Still here.

January 24th, 2018by miralee18765

About two years ago I wrote a post talking about how I wish I could just disappear. Two years have passed since then, and I still feel that way, and I think I’ll stay that way until the day I die. I’ve tried to engage with friends more, but just when they’re about to know something about me I withdraw and go back to the  ” I’m fine” phrase that blocks all attempts at cracking me open and have me show more emotions.

I was told by someone recently that he couldn’t understand me. He said, ” You’re always smiling, and that’s why our friends think …

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5

Fuck my life

January 22nd, 2018by SocialMasker

I can’t live anymore, not without her. My life has been absolute shit from the beginning, my real mom did drugs and hated me, i was abused a small bit, then when i got my current parents i was harshly punished for the smallest offenses. My friends all left me around 8th grade and i thought things were looking up for me my junior year, because a girl actually liked me. We ended up together but after two months she left me because she had mental issues. She was and still is perfect to me. I have tried my hardest to show i care, to …

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0

Empty

January 16th, 2018by lonely2k14

So it’s been a long time since I’ve been on this site. Last month, was the worst month I’ve ever been through. No, I didn’t self harm, because, i was way past that point. I was at the point where i felt certain pain and had emotional breakdowns often, but i felt genuinely empty now. Before, I often had reasons as to why I would feel particularly horrible one day, more so than before. But last month, I just was horribly in emotional pain for all 31 days. My grades dropped so much and the drive I had to succeed in school and life was …

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2

Hello

January 15th, 2018by An orange

I had a very hard childhood growing up, I grew up in a small cult and never knew a day of peace and stability, Ive been homeless and emotionally/ physically abused by my parents.

I left home at 19 to live with my long distance girl friend at the time, and was rejected by my family as a selfish traitor for leaving and not staying in poverty. My first relationship wasnt very healthy and my ex was very manipulative and passive aggressive. Later we moved to LA to pursue art in the animation industry. My ex dumped me the first week but gave the idea of …

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6

Hopeless

January 11th, 2018by CaptchaIsSlavery

I was born into a family history of abuse.  My female progenitor, “Louise”, (who I stopped calling mother years ago) was raped by siblings and step-parents and ignored by her female progenitor who favored the boys according to Louise.  She got pregnant with me seemingly to “catch” her boyfriend, who didn’t take the bait and left.  I suspect they were both damaged, shitty, selfish, childish people who couldn’t love.  Louise then neglected me from birth and abused me mentally/emotionally for several years as a single mother on welfare.

As an example, when I was a boy of maybe 8-10 years old, I wrote Louise a poetic …

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3

I don’t know anymore.

January 8th, 2018by foreverinevitable18

Hi I’m an 18 year old college student who is going through a lifetime of stress, depression, and anxiety. Depression has always been a factor in my life, for I have been depressed for six years now and find no way out. Although I am a very smart individual and have a great circle of friends who care for me, I have issues with opening up with people. I struggle with telling others of how I truly feel because I believe that they truly wouldn’t care, is it wrong to believe that individuals only care for their self being? I am constantly abusing drugs and …

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6

i won’t grow to be old

January 5th, 2018by iamdarling

i’m not sure why, but i have this weird feeling that i won’t grow to be old. i mean, i can’t imagine myself living until i’m, what, ninety?

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3

What can I do

January 3rd, 2018by crackedheart

I just have no idea what to do anymore. I don’t want to be alive anymore but I can’t kill myself because anytime I think about doing it and how much I just don’t want to be forced to live on this rock, I see my parents and friends faces and how sad they’d be. This always brings a sense of hopelessness, I can’t die, I don’t wanna be here but I have to be so fuck what do I do. I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere on this whole world and constantly feel homesick for a place that I’m losing hope I could …

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10

I’m done with life

December 31st, 2017by Elijah18

So i’m A freshman in high school and on paper my life sounds amazing, girls like me, I’m popular, good at sports, go to a good school, but on paper and real life are two very different things. I have some sort of depression, I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet. My school knows and they even set me up with a therapist. Ever since that my life has gotten worse and worse. My grades are fucking terrible(B’s C’s D’s F’s) So I’m fucked for my future. My mother fucking hates me, I go to a private school and she’s even said “why am I paying …

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2

Jenny.

December 29th, 2017by vale_et_bonum_nox_noctis

The moments in a person’s life where everything changes aren’t even the most catastrophic. Sometimes it’s in the hours of empty that follow the catastrophe. In the hours where you feel the life fade away…

What kind of sick bastard—

My first instinct was to block it out. My first instinct was to make it so it didn’t happen, and I was good at it. I couldn’t be Jennifer anymore—so I lost her. I buried her, with…

A mother is supposed to love her kid, so why…? Why ?

I can remember every detail of

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