Category:

Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

Dear God

by butto_love 1/21/2023

written by butto_love

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I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle dont let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me, please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

I know you’re plan is un, known but until you reveal it to me. PLEASE make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to […]

1/21/2023 0 comment

Mismatched Scarecrow

by CARLOSPEJUAN 1/16/2023

written by CARLOSPEJUAN

I just wanted to be a scientist. That is all I wanted. But I don’t know if that will come true. It seems like life doesn’t want that to come into fruition. I’ve tried studying for it , but the math is so complicated I am not sure If I can do it. Maybe if I take one class at a time? I am getting older however, so I am not sure if I can take the liberty to do that. I feel like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz. Except there is no wizard in sight. I love science. I really do. I am […]

1/16/2023 3 comments

Maintaining My Mental

by Itscolourlife 1/16/2023

written by Itscolourlife

trying to maintain my mental health thru someone
someone that love me and know my story
weve been together since 2010
from a friend to best friend to love
from cheerful to depressed version

started to
loving myself
grooming myself
looking into the bright side
trying to be better

but i
afraid to be in relationship
relationship is a frail thing
break like a glass
cant be forever

and what makes me scared the most
what if i dont love him back
what if he develop depression too
what if i fail you?

just like today
when my parents trying to take the mental health stability i earned and […]

1/16/2023 1 comment

My own box of lie

by Itscolourlife 12/31/2022

written by Itscolourlife

I thought telling myself im getting better
Telling you im getting better
Will actually make me feel better
But its not
Its just makes me feel lonelier more than before
Trapped in my box of lie coating with happiness
Im so sorry i choose to left this way
But even if i ask and scream for help
You wont help me
You wont be here
Only my smile and cheerful side makes you happy
Makes you closer
Guess everyone loves the sunshine
But forget about the rain in the same sky

12/31/2022 0 comment

This is all on me

by jeda 12/29/2022

written by jeda

I hope that if my family/loved ones ever see this account or posts etc that they know they had nothing to do with the bad of how i feel. I’m sorry I can’t love them enough to like latch onto their feelings for my reason to try some more.

Today has been a very emotionally taxing today .Laughing with them too the edge off for a while x

Dear loved ones y’all have been awesome and done all you could ,this is all on me. I hope ill get to meet yoy again in better condition ! x you really are special x

12/29/2022 2 comments

The Woods at the End

by Aradia Joy 12/23/2022

written by Aradia Joy

In these woods I stand belong to me.
They’re burnt and barren as far to see;
The skies are dark and a storm is coming
There is no shelter for me.

It might be unwise to wait just a bit
But my weariness compels me to sit
As the winds pick up and the thunder rumbles
I cup my hands around to get my cigarette lit.

I’ve made too many mistakes while on my path
It’s plain to see and as easy as math.
There’s no time left and honestly I’m very tired
To face the stress, the hurt, the wrath.

These woods might not be pretty, green […]

12/23/2022 1 comment

Many days I feel so damn down….

by workinman070 12/23/2022

written by workinman070

Since my parents both died, even before that my siblings treated me like dirt, stole a condo from me and have done other hateful things towards me. I dont speak to them anymore. I wish i had a good family. im a cool fun gay male and have a bf that sometimes supports me and sometimes not. I just want to die sometimes, too often I think about ways to do this too. By the way i have no friends either. How pitiful….

12/23/2022 0 comment

My Pathetic Life

by Lithium.RJS 11/30/2022

written by Lithium.RJS

When I was 4, my parents split up. My mother never fought for me. She just ran to another state. My brother and I ended up living my life with my father. My father got with another woman who was mentally ill. They had 2 more children together. That woman thought there were maggots and worms under our skin while our father was out working. That woman started to cut some of my skin off and only saw blood. My father got home eventually and found a puddle of blood on the floor. He argued with her for the longest time. After that, she locked […]

11/30/2022 5 comments

Gratitude is overrated

by niki 11/23/2022

written by niki

Gratitude is overrated, like many other optimistic/positive-thinking advices. Not everybody can do that. It’s unrealistic, and honestly full of BS (bullshit)

Gratitude has become today’s current hype which everyone seems to be doing, and even keep posting about it constantly on social media. Everywhere you see people always talk about gratitude (& with all other optimistic/positive stuff usually).

It becomes irritating however when gratitude is forced and shoved down our throats, as if everyone should (or must) do that. In reality, you can’t just force other people to keep showing gratitude constantly. Things happened, shits happened; problems, pain, & sufferings happen to some people, which is ridiculous […]

11/23/2022 0 comment

I need advice

by i_need_advice 11/7/2022

written by i_need_advice

11/7/2022 2 comments

my dad’s suicide

by imissyoueveryday 10/22/2022

written by imissyoueveryday

my dad died on 16/5/21
everyday i think of him. there is not a single day where i forget about him/. my dad had killed himself. i miss him bro, i remember driving in the car with him, blasting pitbull or elton john on full volume, speeding down little countryside roads. this man has been a role model to me, my entire life. i feel so guilty for his death. the day before he had died, (my parents were divorced) he had called me 6 FUCKING TIMES… and i ignored every single one of them because he was an alcoholic, and i was afraid of […]

10/22/2022 2 comments

Connect.

by Thanatos.Nykthos 10/14/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

Healing.

That’s the word we keep using.

Healing the inner child. Healing the past, Healing and moving forward. Moving with each other.

Special.

What we have is clearly special.

It’s not like we love each other, but we care. We keep using that word, too. Care. I care for her. She cares for me.

…

Pact.

We made a pact together.

We would be alone with each other if it helped and also avoid self-isolation.

Her mind. Font. Her Font. She is so similar to me. She calls it OCD and Anxiety.

I am afraid to speak before her.

but my words

become easier as they leave me

when I speak with her –

i feel heard. After all. Somehow. […]

10/14/2022 2 comments

people i lost

by undouxsuicide 9/27/2022

written by undouxsuicide

here a list of people i lost in my whole life :

Niela (born August 4th 1996 , killed herself December 5th 2012)

Dereck ( born July 7th 1994 , died in a car crash December 31st 2012)

Renata ( born December 18th 1998 , killed herself November 23rd 2015)

Gaviella ( born September 12th 2006 , died of leucemia May 16th 2016)

Kapriella ( born ???? , killed herself July 11st 2017)

Cameron ( May 28th 1999, died of epilepsy July 6th 2019)

Winona ( January 2nd 2000, killed herself March 5th 2022)

Mary-Ann ( June 5th 1980 , killed herself June 5th 2022)

9/27/2022 2 comments

What can I do now

by uglynbroke 9/26/2022

written by uglynbroke

My entire life I have been disrespected, treated like shit and been bullied by everyone I met to the point of attempting suicide. Many people told me I am an easy target and I am dumb as fuck and they thoroughly enjoyed putting me down. I have no friends, not a soul in this world who I can call if I am in a fight or a life-death situation. All this is because I am autistic and have no social skills.

Needless to say I hate most people after my great experiences with them. I have also developed cptsd and serious heart issues due to the […]

9/26/2022 5 comments

Taking the pain away

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/20/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

I am afraid of harm.
I have grown wise about harm.
But I just found that when I perform it, the crippling pain leaves in a way and for a time while my wound remains.
I am scared of myself now.

[image and caption removed]

8/20/2022 17 comments

Nykthos, shrine to Nyx

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/16/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

My eyes roll back, my tongue hardens, balling up in my throat.

I choke on my body, every finger feels alone. As if somebody is pouring their voice into my mind, humming a drone which washes over me like I’m being boiled alive, I reeel repeatedly, awash sans sensation save an echoing of separation.

Like a hand to the face, or a soft bucket of cold water, my senses return, the highways of mind occupy themselves once more.

Defenseless, totally vulnerable to otherworldly nothing, unreasonable in any fashion.

/~\\

(Abandoned places)

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362361318816053?prg140729=e1da73fb-d096-44f6-b6c1-fe74d31d939d&

https://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c3222

https://www.uptodate.com/contents/suicidal-ideation-and-behavior-in-adults/print

https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-deal-with-your-emotionally-neglectful-parents/

https://www.wikihow.com/Accept-That-Your-Parents-Don%27t-Understand-You

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantone_448_C

https://www.dwihn.org

(here- […]

8/16/2022 2 comments

Never Loved

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/4/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection

You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.

8/4/2022 1 comment

WITHIN;_THE_VIOLENT_NOTHINGNESS_TradingCard

Wombo Dream Dump – Nothingness

by Thanatos.Nykthos 7/26/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

7/26/2022 3 comments

A short letter to Dr.X

by freakinLadybird 7/26/2022

written by freakinLadybird 1 min read

Dear Dr.X,

Thank you for getting through with the call with me today. I knew it was quite late for you since you didn’t have a continuous sleep the night before. I can hear your agitation in your tone although you kept on with the polite laughs and expressing gratitude as usual. The many times you called within a minute alone showed your agitation, while I was using the loo.

I want to tell you that I am sorry for coercing you into a late night call. I know that I was being inconsiderate of your situation. I only consider about my own convenience and feeling, ignoring […]

7/26/2022 2 comments

I am exhausted.

by saveria 7/25/2022

written by saveria

Hello. I am *Saveria.
I am French and I am 15 years old. If I’m here it’s to talk and look for things that would help me die.
I’ve been through horrible things, well, I’m the one who thinks it’s horrible. I haven’t felt well since I was 12. No, I never talked about it, it’s taboo at home. I tried to get up many times. But I can not.
I’m desperate, I’m looking for help. I fell into the death spiral. I don’t want to live for many long months already. I need help.
Someone can help me ? To find a method of […]

7/25/2022 6 comments

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