Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

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I am anyways letting you know…

Since age 10, I had depression, Now after 10 and more years I have realized it. Crying alone was the solution to all of my problems..
It’s true that I have tried to die 3 times. All in vain. I now live without any contact to the outside world. No friends. It didn’t hurt me so much before. But now it does I don’t know why. Who am I? I ask myself this question every day after opening my eyes from a long troubled not deep sleep. I cry every night in the darkness of the night when everyone is […]

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im still here

  April 3rd, 2019 by li

i’m still here 
i hate it 
i fell in love 
but she’ll never get it 
i want to die in her arms 
i hope she’ll understand it 
maybe one more day 
maybe 
i gave her my heart 
but she dont know it 
its on her table 
she’d never see it 
ive been through enought
to know i wont have it 
i guess it is time for me to sleep 
for a long time coming 
 
goodbye 
i might be back 

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I don’t believe in friendship

  April 3rd, 2019 by Walkingghoul1739

This summer, two friends of mine seemed to become overly skeptical of me…. They seemed to always hint and nudge that they felt that I was a “*****”. I went from enjoying spending time with each of them to only seeing them grow more and more restless and uneasy around me and seeming to insult me at any given opportunity, and often for no reason at all.

One day I got sick of it and stopped talking to each of them. I went from hanging out with these 2 kids that I had been best friends with since pre school (we are now 23) almost every [...]
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It shouldn’t take tragedy to make change

  March 28th, 2019 by Artemis Lemieux

I’ve been lurking on this blog for some time but felt compelled to post today for several reasons. I hope that writing it out will clear up some of my thoughts.

Two days ago, someone at school died. I hesitate to call it a suicide, as the information has not been published yet, but regardless of the fact it was a loss to our community. I was in class when I heard the announcement and can remember vaguely stumbling through the first two periods numb to the fact. I had not known him well, but we had interacted somewhat and I would play board games with [...]
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Slowly losing faith…

  March 25th, 2019 by Escaper Boy

I feel like my time is “near”.

I was doing my best to continue. To advance one day, followed by another day. I was grateful if I could pass another day.

But, it seems like such luxury will vanish soon. Enduring a single day is enough to make me suffocate. I even have trouble breathing as I writing this. (Note, I never have asthma.)

Right now, I’m anxious if I have enough strength (or luck) to reach tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish with this post.

For now, I am doing my best to breathe deeply. Hoping my anxiety and fear would pass.

 

 

 

 


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The beginning

  March 17th, 2019 by awis

Hello everyone, I’m not a native speaker, so at first I would like to apologise for any mistakes I’ll possibly make in this post.

I don’t plan to leave any suicide notes, because I don’t have anything to say to most of the people and those to whom I do, wouldn’t want to listen. I’m writing this journal, because I don’t want people to freely shape my image after I die. Especially that they only see me as an idiot, or a monster, or a silly fool. Or a failure (that part is true though).

I found this website, while searching for the most suitable metods on [...]
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Running on low expectation

  March 10th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

Three weeks into antidepressants and met someone amazing.

It was all sunshine for a moment there but then it poured.

He told me he was moving away, wasn’t looking for anything serious and that he enjoyed being single. Running on low expectation all over again. I had to push him away since I was already having feelings for him and yeap that’s insane because we’ve only been dating for like a month. I guess people like us get attached too easily to any slight sign of happiness and when it goes away it feels like our world comes crumbling down. I haven’t stopped crying, can’t get out [...]
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Stigma and Ignorance RIP

  March 9th, 2019 by SleeplessMind

Tuesday morning I received news of my friend/former lover’s suicide.
His family posted a short “R.I.P. ______ , service Sat. At ________. Everyone welcome” via social media.
Nothing further was acknowledged. No written obituary. Just RIP, and done. Ridiculous, in my opinion.
Avoiding the stigma of having mental health problems seems to be a big concern for people around us suffering. Society doest point the finger at the sufferers if the family denies it’s there..

So, today I write a proper obit to a good man:

J*** H.
Though he was often a man of few words, he made the ones he said count.
His laugh [...]
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I’ve Lost Everything

  March 7th, 2019 by Justanotherfaintstar

Every time I have been faced with multiple options for decisions, I have picked the wrong one. Every. Single. Time.

Ten years ago I decided to go to a school that was more expensive than my family’s socio economic status because I thought the investment would pay off and I would get a good job. I had a great experience, but everything came to a screeching halt when I graduated, was hit with my first student loan debt bill and I found myself unable to find any sort of entry level job in my field.

I made the mistake of staying in my home state, which isn’t [...]
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Burden

  January 27th, 2019 by Hiccup

I tried but I’m just not good enough for my friends. I’m sorry for ever bothering you guys. I’ll just leave you alone from now on.


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I just wanted somebody to know

  January 24th, 2019 by soul4everlost

I really don’t know where to begin but my current situation is i am sick and have illnesses that have be going on for a long time also i suffer from depression, anxiety, stress and many more symptoms of mental illness i also don’t have the money, support and resources to get help or get better i can only wait to die by the illnesses slowly or kill myself and maybe end my suffering or be in a worse condition.To give you a short summary of my life i never had anything no love no support i was hated by many people just simply because [...]
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Euthanasia in Belgium and the Netherlands (and the debate surrounding it)

  January 19th, 2019 by Taf Taf

I must apologize in advance, because I’m going to put a lot of videos and articles in this post and it will probably occupy a lot of space on the starting page of this site (needless to say, feel free to write your opinions about euthanasia in the comment section).

 

https://theconversation.com/separating-fact-from-fiction-about-euthanasia-in-belgium-58203

Euthanasia in Belgium

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3748787/Euthanasia-tourists-rush-Belgium-free-lethal-injections-staggering-2-023-medically-killed-year.html

https://newsmavens.com/news/aha-moments/2088/belgium-fears-euthanasia-tourism

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/12/24/brussels-denies-eu-rules-encourage-euthanasia-tourism/

And a PDF about euthanasia in Belgium:

Euthanasia practice in Belgium


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Sharing about your depression

  January 13th, 2019 by BrokenHaze-


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2019…..here we are

  January 12th, 2019 by mo992

I’ve tried to avoid posting for a while now. I’ve been dealing with quite a lot, mentally and physically. I felt that posting would make me feel even worse and paranoid. But here I am again.

2018 was quite slow. There were good things and a lot of painful experiences but I must admit that I wouldn’t have made it without my friends and community. The support they have given me is immense and I can in no way give back enough love to them. For a while I felt guilty, I still do. This feeling comes from the fact that even with all this love, [...]
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My Farewell Letters To Myself

  January 4th, 2019 by CheRup

I have an application on my phone called the Luna Diary. That is where I write what I’m feeling today, but it’s not like any ordinary diaries where you will read what happened today and the extraordinary revelations that happened in the current time. What I actually write in there are my suicide notes from every time I am having an episode. Similar to today, I am currently experiencing one while writing this description. Since my phone is broken, I’ll just have to make this as my temporary Luna app. I guess no one will even take notice to this anyway. (There is an audio [...]
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Failure

  December 17th, 2018 by WhatIsBTC

As I have no idea where to start, I will begin this post with whatever come to my mind.

It been 4 years since I have entered uni and it’s currently one of the worst time in my life. I could have chosen a different field, a different school but no, my parent doesnt allow me to do that. Living in an Asian country doesnt give you much choice beside businessman, engineer and doctor. But because engineer and doctor do not make as much money as businessman (according to my father) so I had to attend the business school to have a stable income. After 4 [...]
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I Give Up

  November 28th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

3 Months Ago i posted my first post here ”I Want to be Happy”.
Back in those days i told myself ”If things don’t get better by the end of this year (2018) i would end up my life”
Weeks after i wrote that post i was actually optimist, the things in my life got better, i trutly thought i would make another year. But it was just that, a delusional through.

But life beated me down.

The things that happened goes far from my control, i can’t help not even to myself, less to my family. and if it is not enough…

She found another dude, she [...]
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I have been living a lie

  November 19th, 2018 by anonym254

https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/PROJ-85.mp3

I can’t stop shaking.

I’ve been lying to my parents for 3 years. They think I’m about to graduate from university when in fact I haven’t been going to school. My parents are so proud of me. It’s all a lie. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I have no friends, I have nobody except for my parents, where do I even begin to pick up my life? The son that they love is a complete lie, he doesn’t exist. i have had really bad social anxiety and depression that i haven’t been able to even get up and go to class.My [...]
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I want to leave this hateful world

  November 17th, 2018 by Iwantoleave

People hate me, no one likes me. When they see my face they spit on ground. I didn’t harm anyone, but i don’t know why people hate me. I dont want to live in this world. Why only bad things are happening with me. Good bye everyone.


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Bad times

  October 30th, 2018 by Still_A_Human

I have a what from an outsider’s perspective a nice life. I have a loving family, nice grades, I don’t have any mental conditions, and I have nice things. But coming into my real life you see how horrible it is. I went to a nice school and I had bunch of friends, but I changed schools and everyone, EVERYONE hates me. I’m not exaggerating either, even my teachers hate me. I’ve never gotten a detention in my life, and now I’ve gotten 2 suspensions in three weeks. Think about it, it’s not me, it’s them. I am constantly bullied in school and beaten up. [...]
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