Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

1

I Give Up

  November 28th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

3 Months Ago i posted my first post here ”I Want to be Happy”.
Back in those days i told myself ”If things don’t get better by the end of this year (2018) i would end up my life”
Weeks after i wrote that post i was actually optimist, the things in my life got better, i trutly thought i would make another year. But it was just that, a delusional through.

But life beated me down.

The things that happened goes far from my control, i can’t help not even to myself, less to my family. and if it is not enough…

She found another dude, she told me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

I have been living a lie

  November 19th, 2018 by anonym254

I can’t stop shaking.

I’ve been lying to my parents for 3 years. They think I’m about to graduate from university when in fact I haven’t been going to school. My parents are so proud of me. It’s all a lie. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I have no friends, I have nobody except for my parents, where do I even begin to pick up my life? The son that they love is a complete lie, he doesn’t exist. i have had really bad social anxiety and depression that i haven’t been able to even get up and go to class.My …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

I want to leave this hateful world

  November 17th, 2018 by Iwantoleave

People hate me, no one likes me. When they see my face they spit on ground. I didn’t harm anyone, but i don’t know why people hate me. I dont want to live in this world. Why only bad things are happening with me. Good bye everyone.

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Bad times

  October 30th, 2018 by Still_A_Human

I have a what from an outsider’s perspective a nice life. I have a loving family, nice grades, I don’t have any mental conditions, and I have nice things. But coming into my real life you see how horrible it is. I went to a nice school and I had bunch of friends, but I changed schools and everyone, EVERYONE hates me. I’m not exaggerating either, even my teachers hate me. I’ve never gotten a detention in my life, and now I’ve gotten 2 suspensions in three weeks. Think about it, it’s not me, it’s them. I am constantly bullied in school and beaten up. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

feeling nothing

  October 27th, 2018 by x0zz

I can’t recognize myself in the mirror , have no money to buy drugs that cure me, no friends , everyone I now used me , my family used me , my family did hurrible things to me , things I can’t say , or remember , I lost my memories , I don’t remember who I was , can’t say who I am now , I have no future , all the things in my life was someone’s else plan , I never did or sayed the things I want , I always react as they want me , I could killed for stupid …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Trump turned everyone against me…

  October 11th, 2018 by JustSomeGuy4455

Two of my most recent posts got deleted I believe because I was linking  to other websites. I know that this place is a safe space where I can vent out my frustrations without judgement, so I’m going to try again.

 

As I said, I don’t think I love my mother anymore. I wish I could make her see what she needs to reap when I heard that Trump is “transporting thousands of immigrant children into camp cities.” I outright said that I wanted to punch her. She chose Trump over her own autistic asexual child.

 

Trump turned my own people against each other as well as …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

I want to be happy

  September 26th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

Hi. I’m a guy, 18 years old, a former happy and smiling person, i don’t smoke, i don’t drink alcohol, no drugs. I think i’m seriously a weird person, i don’t have facebook, just whatsapp (althoug nobody talks me online), and i have a big problem with seeing to me in photos. As a former fat dude… just the idea of looking myself causes dread to me despite knowing rationally that i’m not ugly (and having some admirer girls by there), some female friends says i’m kind of attractive, but to me it’s hard to idealize that.

Here is the deal: I’m not happy anymore, i …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

They say …

  September 20th, 2018 by Mirian

They say that I’m a lucky woman,
being healthy and successful,
living in good, rich Germany.
But sometimes I wonder
if people are blind
and completely heart-deaf here.
A few weeks ago,
I was waiting in a hotel –
A guest from Australia
was walking through the lobby.
A mobile on his ear.
I heard him talking:
„They are like robots here,
all of them!“
He couldn’t see me in the corner.
Then I just read HERE
from this young man
from Australia…
Complaining pretty much
about the same things over there.
Is there any better place?
Anywhere?
I doubt. I traveled a lot.
Hell opens everywhere I just
linger around long enough.
I stopped working now.
A freelancer, no lobby, no security,
trying to help other people.
Depression. Once again.
It is just …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

it is deadly

  September 19th, 2018 by Yikrens

to know I love the deaths creation.

but any of is for bme a taboo subject

 

so so don’t sing the deaths of. also I did.

 

this can’t be excused to some,

as strangers. maybe is takes a toll of relief..

but I’d stick to what I know as stranger.

and any must be alive. and that can be noone..

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring

  September 14th, 2018 by niki

Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.

Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.

reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Love

  September 9th, 2018 by Yikrens

I had found here the struggle of someone wearing about its relationship and the inability to share the real thoughts. Will it hold? Can this endure? I blame my Mind if we not set-up together forever. To be passed by for another. To get replaced.

It is so sweet how clueless I was about this feelings. I never knew them. Even when it had been cheated on me my heart and my mind chanted for the most precious thing I lived ever then. I still feel it, I can’t lie about. When we shared a bed for the night, me laying on my device phoning for …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Precognition of Pain

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

  August 18th, 2018 by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime , I wish anime …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

sorry mom

  August 14th, 2018 by thisisnothing

my mom told me to go drown about a year ago. the thought stuck in my mind and it really just cant be erased or ignored to the point that i actually conidered it. she doesnt love me. it’s obvious. i’m pointless. pointless to the point of my own mother wanting me dead. i decided to be numb and quiet. a bit recently, she said that if i would kill myself she wouldnt care. she shamed me in front of everyone and cursed at me. i know that i can’t bear this anymore. i tried to get help but she told me that everyone experiences …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

The Damage Done.

  August 6th, 2018 by Brody2018

Well, where do I begin?
My life has been a roller coaster and would probably make an intriguing, but sad film.
So, why am I here?
I want to die. Badly. The decision is made and it will be carried out very, very soon. First a few affairs to get in order, then off to eternal sleep.
Why?
In a nutshell…..
When I was teen I was physically and sexually abused by my stepfather in private. He would sneak into my room, when I was asleep, put duct tape over my mouth to stop screaming. Then after each time he would say that “nobody believes little boys so its no use …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

That Time of Year

  August 2nd, 2018 by TiredStoic

This month will be the four year anniversary of my father’s suicide. He shot himself in the head in his bedroom and I was the person to find his body. It took me awhile to tell anyone I didn’t know how to call my mom (she left to take my brother away for college that night) and tell her my older sister or my younger brother. It’s inexplicable to say the least. I just don’t know how to handle this time of year. And I hate the holidays so it kind of just rolls into it, my dad birthday is also in September. Any other …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Petscop

  July 28th, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Petscop

(Themes/Warnings: Child Abuse, Adoption)

“Do you remember being born?”

 

Channel (15 Videos)

(About 2-3 hours long)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZKQv0ZFHpeIUkOtNjtq4KA/featured

 

Man, I’ve been waiting all week to talk about this all week… I’ve been kind of lazy about it though because of all the links and photos I wanted to share and thought the story behind this might be kind of big. :p Hopefully I remember what I wanted to say and can compile something pretty good and worthwhile…

 

So like, Petscop is this creepypasta-esque “game” web series with as much interactivity and fame as Ben Drowned and NES Godzilla Creepypasta, an ARG (Alternate Reality Game) …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Nothing Left

  July 28th, 2018 by Brokentoi

If hating me makes you hate yourself a little less, I’ll do that for you…

I’ve long since outlived my welcome and my usefulness.

Precious little goodness have I contributed to this world; nothing to my own credit do I leave behind. Nobody here depends on me, all will be relieved when I’m gone.

I’ve nothing left in this cold, desolate place to hold me here.

I’ve lost it all. There’s nothing left now for me to lose, anymore.

There’s just nothing left. C ‘est la vie.

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

After 5 years .. I am back again at suicide project !

  July 24th, 2018 by jano.19

The Last time I posted was FIVE years ago ..

I never though I’d ever come back .!

Yet here I am

I guess we never really change !

no matter how hard we try to change ourselves deep down we will always be the same .

I fought hard .. and I’m still fighting .. I’m not really willing to surrender not before not now not ever

yet still my inner self , my flaws , my weaknesses.. are catching up with me ..

spend the last five years in what I developed to br a stable life .. it is actually to most people it’s what they want .

I got …

Processing your request, Please wait....
14

Maybe

  July 22nd, 2018 by raperapelemonade

Even though we cant talk to each other directly here. I feel safe here. I feel in the silence, a comradery.

I love reading the stuggles the goodbyes because i can relate so much to these entries and i just have nothing but love for you.

Even if you are a judge of me, i can relate and I’m grateful. Whatever comes… I’m just grateful for this silent hive where our honey is our words about our bloody battles of life, death, trauma, pain more than anyone else in the real world could ever handle. We can speak it here in complete truth and honesty without fear.

I’m …

Processing your request, Please wait....