Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

1

Trump turned everyone against me…

  October 11th, 2018 by JustSomeGuy4455

Two of my most recent posts got deleted I believe because I was linking  to other websites. I know that this place is a safe space where I can vent out my frustrations without judgement, so I’m going to try again.

 

As I said, I don’t think I love my mother anymore. I wish I could make her see what she needs to reap when I heard that Trump is “transporting thousands of immigrant children into camp cities.” I outright said that I wanted to punch her. She chose Trump over her own autistic asexual child.

 

Trump turned my own people against each other as well as …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

I want to be happy

  September 26th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

Hi. I’m a guy, 18 years old, a former happy and smiling person, i don’t smoke, i don’t drink alcohol, no drugs. I think i’m seriously a weird person, i don’t have facebook, just whatsapp (althoug nobody talks me online), and i have a big problem with seeing to me in photos. As a former fat dude… just the idea of looking myself causes dread to me despite knowing rationally that i’m not ugly (and having some admirer girls by there), some female friends says i’m kind of attractive, but to me it’s hard to idealize that.

Here is the deal: I’m not happy anymore, i …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

They say …

  September 20th, 2018 by Mirian

They say that I’m a lucky woman,
being healthy and successful,
living in good, rich Germany.
But sometimes I wonder
if people are blind
and completely heart-deaf here.
A few weeks ago,
I was waiting in a hotel –
A guest from Australia
was walking through the lobby.
A mobile on his ear.
I heard him talking:
„They are like robots here,
all of them!“
He couldn’t see me in the corner.
Then I just read HERE
from this young man
from Australia…
Complaining pretty much
about the same things over there.
Is there any better place?
Anywhere?
I doubt. I traveled a lot.
Hell opens everywhere I just
linger around long enough.
I stopped working now.
A freelancer, no lobby, no security,
trying to help other people.
Depression. Once again.
It is just …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

it is deadly

  September 19th, 2018 by Yikrens

to know I love the deaths creation.

but any of is for bme a taboo subject

 

so so don’t sing the deaths of. also I did.

 

this can’t be excused to some,

as strangers. maybe is takes a toll of relief..

but I’d stick to what I know as stranger.

and any must be alive. and that can be noone..

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring

  September 14th, 2018 by niki

Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.

Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.

reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Love

  September 9th, 2018 by Yikrens

I had found here the struggle of someone wearing about its relationship and the inability to share the real thoughts. Will it hold? Can this endure? I blame my Mind if we not set-up together forever. To be passed by for another. To get replaced.

It is so sweet how clueless I was about this feelings. I never knew them. Even when it had been cheated on me my heart and my mind chanted for the most precious thing I lived ever then. I still feel it, I can’t lie about. When we shared a bed for the night, me laying on my device phoning for …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Precognition of Pain

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

  August 18th, 2018 by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime , I wish anime …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

sorry mom

  August 14th, 2018 by thisisnothing

my mom told me to go drown about a year ago. the thought stuck in my mind and it really just cant be erased or ignored to the point that i actually conidered it. she doesnt love me. it’s obvious. i’m pointless. pointless to the point of my own mother wanting me dead. i decided to be numb and quiet. a bit recently, she said that if i would kill myself she wouldnt care. she shamed me in front of everyone and cursed at me. i know that i can’t bear this anymore. i tried to get help but she told me that everyone experiences …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

The Damage Done.

  August 6th, 2018 by Brody2018

Well, where do I begin?
My life has been a roller coaster and would probably make an intriguing, but sad film.
So, why am I here?
I want to die. Badly. The decision is made and it will be carried out very, very soon. First a few affairs to get in order, then off to eternal sleep.
Why?
In a nutshell…..
When I was teen I was physically and sexually abused by my stepfather in private. He would sneak into my room, when I was asleep, put duct tape over my mouth to stop screaming. Then after each time he would say that “nobody believes little boys so its no use …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

That Time of Year

  August 2nd, 2018 by TiredStoic

This month will be the four year anniversary of my father’s suicide. He shot himself in the head in his bedroom and I was the person to find his body. It took me awhile to tell anyone I didn’t know how to call my mom (she left to take my brother away for college that night) and tell her my older sister or my younger brother. It’s inexplicable to say the least. I just don’t know how to handle this time of year. And I hate the holidays so it kind of just rolls into it, my dad birthday is also in September. Any other …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Petscop

  July 28th, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Petscop

(Themes/Warnings: Child Abuse, Adoption)

“Do you remember being born?”

 

Channel (15 Videos)

(About 2-3 hours long)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZKQv0ZFHpeIUkOtNjtq4KA/featured

 

Man, I’ve been waiting all week to talk about this all week… I’ve been kind of lazy about it though because of all the links and photos I wanted to share and thought the story behind this might be kind of big. :p Hopefully I remember what I wanted to say and can compile something pretty good and worthwhile…

 

So like, Petscop is this creepypasta-esque “game” web series with as much interactivity and fame as Ben Drowned and NES Godzilla Creepypasta, an ARG (Alternate Reality Game) …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Nothing Left

  July 28th, 2018 by Brokentoi

If hating me makes you hate yourself a little less, I’ll do that for you…

I’ve long since outlived my welcome and my usefulness.

Precious little goodness have I contributed to this world; nothing to my own credit do I leave behind. Nobody here depends on me, all will be relieved when I’m gone.

I’ve nothing left in this cold, desolate place to hold me here.

I’ve lost it all. There’s nothing left now for me to lose, anymore.

There’s just nothing left. C ‘est la vie.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

After 5 years .. I am back again at suicide project !

  July 24th, 2018 by jano.19

The Last time I posted was FIVE years ago ..

I never though I’d ever come back .!

Yet here I am

I guess we never really change !

no matter how hard we try to change ourselves deep down we will always be the same .

I fought hard .. and I’m still fighting .. I’m not really willing to surrender not before not now not ever

yet still my inner self , my flaws , my weaknesses.. are catching up with me ..

spend the last five years in what I developed to br a stable life .. it is actually to most people it’s what they want .

I got …

Processing your request, Please wait....
14

Maybe

  July 22nd, 2018 by raperapelemonade

Even though we cant talk to each other directly here. I feel safe here. I feel in the silence, a comradery.

I love reading the stuggles the goodbyes because i can relate so much to these entries and i just have nothing but love for you.

Even if you are a judge of me, i can relate and I’m grateful. Whatever comes… I’m just grateful for this silent hive where our honey is our words about our bloody battles of life, death, trauma, pain more than anyone else in the real world could ever handle. We can speak it here in complete truth and honesty without fear.

I’m …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Something Needs To

  July 21st, 2018 by raperapelemonade

I told my only family member it was time for me to stop. The only person in the world who knew me. He said at least try acid once.

I dosed and became one with the Universe and all that shit. I felt something fall off my shoulders afterwards. I got an understanding of why I survived the first eleven years of my life along with him surviving the first twenty.
-We weren’t meant to survive right?

I got a hippy ass perspective on why there’s scars on my genitals that I can’t explain to a doctor.

It lasted about a month until I was drugged and raped in …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

It’s That Time of Year Again

  July 21st, 2018 by raperapelemonade

2nd year anniversaries are so surreal.

I dont know if it would honor you or offend you if I chose to enter light body that day. I already failed once in a way I shouldnt have failed because of your bad timing. Then you died.

This is a sign I should go with you, I feel sometimes. You said you couldn’t do this life without me, what the fuck do you expect me to do here without you.

Drugs sure help. Maybe they’ll have pity/mercy on me the way they did for you and take care of the dilemma I face daily

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

I just cause stress and problems

I just cause stress and problems

  June 25th, 2018 by Krystami

I don’t know what to do or anything….I’m lonely, alone, worthless, not anything but a waste of space, time, effort…anything. I would give my life story but have so many times, would also be a book…i type too much. I annoy others I just gwt in the way. I have tourettes, as well as many mental issues some self diagnosed, others not,

I have many health problems like celiac disease, back issues, jaw messed up, etc.

 

I try to make friends, but everyone gets tired of the way I talk or I’m plain boring. I’m married and trying to get divorces…middle of it. He is extremely narsisistic …

Processing your request, Please wait....
12

Something’s Different

  June 24th, 2018 by Inconceivable

Something changed. I don’t think it was me, at least not to begin with.

Now I’m planning an idea so far out of my personality; something that feels like I’m retaliating. I’m not sure if I care either, Maybe it’s just an excuse to do something crazy.

What else is there to say.

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Null and Void

  June 18th, 2018 by Baked13

You can’t save every dying man.

Sometimes the dying man doesn’t want to be saved.

Save yourself the trouble.

Processing your request, Please wait....