What’s up gang, it’s burgerpatty.
I’ve been writing entrance exams for college recently and have been tanking them, I mean absolute abysmal marks.
I was a straight A student and now I barely pass, I screwed up my exams so bad people couldn’t believe the marks I was getting. But I’ve never felt this alive a light, I stopped cheating, these are the marks I deserve, it feels like some sort of atonement for all the things I did for marks.
I’m not giving up on myself, each day I wake up with motivation and am the happiest I have ever been.
As for college, […]
I feel so stupid for thinking I was capable. For not moving sooner. For moving with that asshole who didn’t pay rent and still refuses to pay me back. I feel so dumb for getting in so much debt. But within me there’s peace. There’s hope, there’s positivity. I hope i make it out of this someday. I hope things get better for me. I hope i manage to actually pass classes and get a degree. I don’t know what i want to study, But I want that cardboard saying i did it. Sucks I’m kinda dumb due to mental illness. Sucks how depression and […]
Let it go. Go ahead. You don’t deserve what’s happening to you but that doesn’t mean you should stop being nice. You can find joy in spreading it to others, and while some may find it fun to bring you down, it slowly destroys their soul. I don’t have anyone to tell my feelings to. Talk with your consciousness. It’s okay, Trust this struggle is part of the process. And trust that as long as you don’t give up and keep pushing forward, no matter how hopeless things seem… you will make it.
Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that […]
trying to maintain my mental health thru someone
someone that love me and know my story
weve been together since 2010
from a friend to best friend to love
from cheerful to depressed version
started to
loving myself
grooming myself
looking into the bright side
trying to be better
but i
afraid to be in relationship
relationship is a frail thing
break like a glass
cant be forever
and what makes me scared the most
what if i dont love him back
what if he develop depression too
what if i fail you?
just like today
when my parents trying to take the mental health stability i earned and […]
I thought telling myself im getting better
Telling you im getting better
Will actually make me feel better
But its not
Its just makes me feel lonelier more than before
Trapped in my box of lie coating with happiness
Im so sorry i choose to left this way
But even if i ask and scream for help
You wont help me
You wont be here
Only my smile and cheerful side makes you happy
Makes you closer
Guess everyone loves the sunshine
But forget about the rain in the same sky
Hello 🙂
Im not here to vent but instead share my story in the hope that i might be able to help you if you need it.
During the past three years i’ve been incredibly depressed and suicidal. I used drugs in an attempt to numb the pain but instead i came out of my addiction with more trauma than before. I went to extreme lengths to numb myself to avoid truly feeling the overwhelming feelings that i knew might swallow me.
However despite all that i’m still here today and doing better than ever.
Thats not to say i’m happy, i still crave drugs but i’m 10 […]
Hey hello you there.. if you see this post may you keep reading.. i really need your help.. SO
There will be a wedding party around 2 weeks from now. The groom is one my best friend and the bride is a fake friend/ a witch/idk what i should called her. As you guys know im battling my depression for 2-3 years and i just getting better this month, struggling by myself without medical, parents, or friends help.
Now i am fatter like 10kg more than before. Ive been locking myself all these years and doesnt want to meet my friends. One of the reason why […]
Life……it’s a complicated thing for many people. Some of it is brought on by ourselves, though some of it is thrown upon us outside of our control. Both good things and bad things work that way. Sometimes you have to take a step back to see the full picture to not get lost in the details, and sometimes you have to take a closer look at things to find your way through the forest. Balance won’t always be the same. The scales can shift. The weights can slide and you have to be ready for when they do. Not everything in the future is foreseeable […]
Gratitude is overrated, like many other optimistic/positive-thinking advices. Not everybody can do that. It’s unrealistic, and honestly full of BS (bullshit)
Gratitude has become today’s current hype which everyone seems to be doing, and even keep posting about it constantly on social media. Everywhere you see people always talk about gratitude (& with all other optimistic/positive stuff usually).
It becomes irritating however when gratitude is forced and shoved down our throats, as if everyone should (or must) do that. In reality, you can’t just force other people to keep showing gratitude constantly. Things happened, shits happened; problems, pain, & sufferings happen to some people, which is ridiculous […]
Even when the world is cold, I still want to find the heart not to be.  -LIT (jjolee)
It’s been a while since I’ve written here, and every time I remember this place I come and reread posts that I only have as drafts, I remember how passionate I wrote them with pain and crying while at it.
Tho this time is different, and still think life is worthless and I want to die, I now don’t actively look for death, I dunno if it’s because I’ve come to terms that I’m not brave enough to commit suicide or because I’ve […]
Healing.
That’s the word we keep using.
Healing the inner child. Healing the past, Healing and moving forward. Moving with each other.
Special.
What we have is clearly special.
It’s not like we love each other, but we care. We keep using that word, too. Care. I care for her. She cares for me.
…
Pact.
We made a pact together.
We would be alone with each other if it helped and also avoid self-isolation.
Her mind. Font. Her Font. She is so similar to me. She calls it OCD and Anxiety.
I am afraid to speak before her.
but my words
become easier as they leave me
when I speak with her –
i feel heard. After all. Somehow. […]
Hello there, friends. I just ran across this website tonight. At first I was shocked because it seemed to be promoting suicide, but then I read the rules and realized that wasn’t the case. However, I didn’t worry any less about the people on this site. I don’t know any of you but I’m guessing I know the feelings you’re feeling. Please take a look at what I have to say.
Disclaimers
I’m going to make a few disclaimers before I start. First of all, if I accidentally say something that offends you, I apologize and recognize that your viewpoint exists. However, I don’t apologize for speaking […]
lonely, i’ve been. no matter how much i say that, it still doesn’t change. i’m stuck in this pit.
my own little world has been harder and harder to focus on, a place where i’m not that lonely.. but this one album(s) makes me carry on. it’s called The Metal Opera by Tobias Sammet’s Avantasia.
i found it simply on a whim, i started with one song called The Seven Angels.. and ever since i’ve been hooked.
I bought the gold edition CD, and reading though the whole lore makes me feel more connected to the characters, the world. i love everything about this album and i can’t […]
nothing bad has happened, not yet.
as this day reaches its end, i get this very very sickly feeling in my stomach. butterflies! so many.. i can feel myself almost puking out of anxiety.
but not because anything bad is gonna happen tomorrow (i hope). i’m going to a club in my school, and hopefully meet some new friends. i know if i’m that anxious, i probably shouldn’t go, but i still want friends. i won’t let some butterflies stop me.
I am afraid of harm.
I have grown wise about harm.
But I just found that when I perform it, the crippling pain leaves in a way and for a time while my wound remains.
I am scared of myself now.
[image and caption removed]
So I’m back home for the first time in 5 years. It’s so odd to think about where I was since I’d been gone. I’m actually having a good time back. I was in probably my absolute worst state of mind when I was here last time, and now, that seems so far away. I’m a different person now, and yet, some things never change…
I just needed to reflect. I’ve been lurking around this site for a long while at this point. I only hope that people here find closure, their resolution so to speak, however that may be. There are many good […]
Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection
You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.
I am incredibly sorry if somebody made you feel as though it was difficult to love you . I am so incredibly sorry if you have ever felt this way. But i promise you…… the universe will send you someone so unexpectedly. Someone who will every day and forever remind you of how great you are. Someone who will reinforce your belief in love as well as in yourself. Someone who will see your flaws but will forever remind you that your imperfections ,are what make you so perfect. Just tightly hold onto this belief . In the meantime fall in love with yourself – […]
He chooses present over perfect
Trusts over journey of change
Had a strong belief that things go with flow
He belives in simplicity and does best at his abilities
Loves deeply and think deeply about life
His purity makes him who he is!!!
For now he is an unseen world
Soon he is going to be rockstar with all love and success!!!
He knows to wait and believes that there is aways time for everything 
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