Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

2

5AM BPD/Love/Sob

February 20th, 2017by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …

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3

Mah Story

February 17th, 2017by Killstead

Here I am. Another night, another thought; like the nights before, and like the thoughts before. Only difference tonight being a Google search and bumbling into this website.

Well, sigh. Here goes.

My story starts about 18 years or so ago, back when I was 12. I wasn’t actively thinking about suicide before this time, but they put me on the mind destroying drug Ritalin and the rest is history. It was Xmas eve, and I had made a super potent spicy drink for ‘Santa’. Well, my naive little mind thought I had made the drink so strong that it was going to kill my mother. Of …

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1

I don’t know anymore.

February 16th, 2017by Falsify

This probably will wind up as an incoherent mess, but when is it ever? If my mind wasn’t muddled, would I be writing this? Would anyone of us be? Probably not.
It feels strange to write about this in a public space. But it’s easier than to be judged and mocked by those we care for. Or simply told by our friends and family that we are horrible and selfish for feeling these suicidal urges. They care for you, don’t get me wrong, but they never do seem to know what to do but defend themselves.
“I want to kill myself.” Poor wording, I know. I wanted …

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4

The 2 Lost Souls

February 13th, 2017by completely_lost2

Today has got to be one very hard day… All i seem to think about is the death of my girlfriend and daughter during childbirth. Their watching over me i believe. I want to have them next to me. You guys obviously know the reason i am depressed. Let me go into detail, I was watching my girlfriend, she was 16, give birth to our child. I was in the hospital room and watched the whole gruesome death. She was already in labor giving birth too Arial Hunter on 4-20-2015. Ella was laying saying “i cant, i cant, i cant” i was holding her hand …

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4

Hitting so hard…..

February 12th, 2017by EvilOni22

From time to time I still find myself overwhelmed and just wishing all was over. I fear this will never fully go away. It’s been building up for sometime now. Longer than normal, stronger than normal. Ever so slowly imploding. Back to drinking myself to sleep cause I really don’t know what else to do. Even that has it’s limitations. Work is what I use typically. Just focus on it day in day out. Let’s me simply ignore or avoid what I can’t handle or can’t control…….that’s becoming me now though.

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2

Hi?

February 9th, 2017by _lost._.one_

I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.

Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.

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2

Um…well here goes…

February 7th, 2017by _lost._.one_

Hello 🙂 I am going to start now…

I have attempted suicide before, but all times my plans have fallen through. I have tried suffocation through bag twice, tried hanging myself once, tried swallowing a ton of pills once, and that’s it. I cut. I despise blood and looking at other peoples injuries makes me want to faint, but for some reason it’s different with my blood. I laugh when I cut and I shake so much. It calms me, makes me happy for a short while. I wish I could be left alone though, my parents are the kind of parents who despise any problems …

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2

It just kept on getting worse

February 4th, 2017by Dark_Shadow

I broke up with my boyfriend early September last year. It wasn’t easy but I had to save myself from the toxic relationship I was in, where he would make all the rules but the rules would not apply to him. He made me feel shit about myself and blame me for all the problems in our relationship.

The first thing I did after that was to seek professional help, he encouraged me to go despite all the bad things that he had done to me. I went to see my doctor and told him about my depression and self-harm. He started me on some anti-depressants …

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2

3 years later

February 3rd, 2017by TheGlassChild

This week, Quebec marks the twenty-seventh National Suicide Prevention Week. The week runs from Jan. 29 to Feb. 4

I felt the need of coming back here, and read the stuff I was writing few years ago, when I was at my worst.

I’m trying to find some words to help those who are now in deep distress, cause I’ve been there, and I should know what to tell those people.

The truth is that I don’t know which word can be used to really help, ’cause I do remember how all those hope messages made me feel worst when I was at my rock bottom. …

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2

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

February 2nd, 2017by niki

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life

I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING !!!!
Real world is boring ! real-world is …

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20

why did you become suicidel?

January 31st, 2017by noname_x

I was wondering why you guys did become suicidel?

If anyone is interested this is my story ..

The first time I became suicidel was about a year ago. I was already a little bit depressed but nothing much. On a friday night I went to a sort of homeparty together with my best friend for over 10 years. We were just chilling, having a good time and then suddenly he was acting strange. But I didn’t gave it much attention at the time. an hour or two went by and he was acting even more stranger than before, so i asked him what was wrong and …

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1

January 25th, 2017by wanted85

I can’t continue to feel this way I want all the pain and all the yelling in my head to stop I’m tired of pretending to be ok I’m tired of no one understanding it and saying it’ll get better. It won’t I can never change my past I’m 31 life should be somewhat together by now (someone messaged and said I was 17 correction I was 17 when my life started to fall apart) how can I explain to people what I’m feeling when I don’t even know what I’m feeling except empty. Confused. Every time I drive home I wish someone else’s car …

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8

Do You Really Want to Die or Do You Just Want Your Pain or Your Struggles to End?

There is a difference. And a BIG one. …problem is, how to tell?

5

This is all a Game….

January 24th, 2017by brxken._.lxcks

Life is a game. This is not real, everything is fake. Love is a game. There is no such thing as true love, its a joke. Everyone just messes around with other’s feelings. This is all fake, we are all living in somebody else’s imaginary world. This is all pretend, like just think about it… why exactly are we alive if we are going to die in the end? Everyone likes shortcuts, and suicide is a shortcut to life. There is no real point in living, you do something bad in society either you get noticed and then punished and never heard of again; or …

1

360

January 22nd, 2017by Blue65

January 22, 2015. In the next few hours, it’ll be two years since my last suicide attempt. It took me two years to circle back completely and relapse here.

I’ve felt sad before this, but now, I’m back to the cold feeling of hopelessness and sorrow that I had been so used to. The suicidal thoughts are back, and the only thing stopping me is the fear of failure- what happened last time. I became that much more of a burden on everyone I knew, and those whom I thought actually cared for me.

Friends and family forgot about the whole thing. Some chose to ignore it, …

10

My Story

January 14th, 2017by 90Grayson

Hello everyone, my name is Daniel, and I think I’m going to commit suicide very shortly, I want to anyways, not sure if I will though, since things in life change so much, but I hope that moment arrives in a week or two. I don’t know where to start, I’m done trying to figure out why I’m like this, why I have suicidal thoughts, why I cut myself, why I feel so much pain all the time. It sucks, it really sucks to be this way, I don’t believe in destiny, but I cannot avoid feeling like I am trapped, and have absolutely no …

8

Even if i didnt want to, i stay here, incapable to tell them anything about me. Im sad, im depressed, im suicidal. Speaking of suicide… It is the most beaultiful blessing we have in life, dont you think? If everything turns out impossible, we can be mercifull with ourselves and end it. Imagine the world […]

2

stopping the stigma on mental illness or suicide prevention?

January 7th, 2017by beautifulsinner

every person on this planet has problems. issues of their own that they wish werent existent in their lives. some have bigger problems than others, but we shouldnt be allowed to dismiss other peoples problems just because they dont seem “big enough”. big or small, problems are problems, and my question is; why do we have to feel guilty about feeling emotion over issues that seem irrelevant.

we should be allowed to feel however we want to feel. a major problem to someone, might be considered a minor one to another. but we shouldnt be allowed to judge people based on that. emotions are something …

2

Confession: 3 times the charm or curse

January 3rd, 2017by BrokenAngel8

This one I have been thinking about quite a bit lately… Though certain things that are good happened this year. 2016 was mostly shit as far as me being emotionally, mentally and physically healthy.

It makes me wonder on why god is letting me live like this and being extremely miserable and unhappy with my life. It made think about the 3 times that I tried to take my life in the past.

The first time I was 13.. I was being severally physically and mentally bullied in school for a variety reasons by some of my classmates. It was suppose to be a prescription drug overdose.. …

1

Why is so difficult?

January 2nd, 2017by FNYGG

I have been struggling with depression for the last 5 years. I think I always had depression tendencies but I started a treatment 5 years ago. I remember since I was a kid I have been thinking of how to suicide. I tried to do so in 2016 and it’s still on my mind and at the moment the only thing that “motivates” me is to know that I have a bunch of pills ready to be taken with alcohol. I have studied how to do it, how pills work and react to have success. Is that crazy?

It’s funny how when people know that you …