Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

I need help.

by lucas. 5/25/2022

written by lucas.

I have been suicidal since I was about 6 or 7, currently I am 12 years old. I have been suffering with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a lot more. I just don’t want to be alive. I have been hurting myself in many ways, as in cutting myself, starving myself, throwing up after I eat, and doing things to hurt myself accidently. I have tried to commit suicide over 26 times, all have embarrassingly failed. I was inpatient not too long ago; I now am taking anti-depressants & anti-psychotics. I’m just so tired, I hate all of my scars because now they are fading, and […]

5/25/2022 8 comments

Reflecting on a toxic situationship

by voidzfan21 5/7/2022

written by voidzfan21

In summer 2021, I was in a horribly dark place. I couldn’t even get out of bed and cried every day. By august 1st, I had met a guy. I met him on bumble bff. I had just spent the last 6 or so months engaging in degrading hook ups and trying to find ‘love’ and has given up. I was his perfect target.

I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and told that I possibly had autism according to a few therapists I had seen before, so basically when it comes to dating, I get obsessive with people and idealize them, on top of […]

5/7/2022 1 comment

I’m 40 years old this year, and I still don’t know what to do, and whether I should continue to live, or just die?

by niki 4/25/2022

written by niki

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

4/25/2022 4 comments

‘Support system’

by eva_tries_hard 3/8/2022

written by eva_tries_hard

Once, a couple (who knew of my condition) asked me: “What made you like this? What is it that you fear so badly?”

“Is it pain?”

“Is it death?”

“Must be pain, right? Because you can’t deal with it so that triggered your ‘problem’, right?” What, suddenly depression is the new equivalent of the F word?

“Must be death, right? Because you’re afraid of dying, so you get depressed, right?”

No, it isn’t Pain. Although the fear intensifies our emotional pain.

No, it isn’t death. If anything, people who have the same thoughts as I do right now, Death is a release.

What I fear most is losing (and subsequently, spiralling […]

3/8/2022 2 comments

Suicide Survivor

by Alphapack 2/24/2022

written by Alphapack

When I was about 12 years I took my first attempt at my life, lucky for me I didn’t cut deep enough. However this started the habit of cutting myself to have a feeling of “release” of my stress and depression. The reasoning for my depression was my mother, she neglected me most of my life and beat me, I still don’t know why she did this. I knew my dad would’ve taken her to court and let me stay with him because he loved me, but I stayed so my younger brothers wouldn’t have to deal with what she did to me. But I’m […]

2/24/2022 0 comment

Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

by mortalcode 2/15/2022

written by mortalcode 2-3 min read

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]

2/15/2022 1 comment

I thought this was “Love”

by ilybidkhtty 2/10/2022

written by ilybidkhtty

Well back when i was 2-10 (Age) i was raped threw out the ages of 2 – 10 by my uncle and he told me the only way for people to love me is by letting them touch me in places i dident wanna be touched in and he told me that is love well i grew up and told my mother witch was the hardest thing for me to do in my life i cried so hard i couldent breath and i was about 15 and i tried to kill myself by overdosing on shrooms until my sisters boyfriend sat next to me and […]

2/10/2022 0 comment

That Sunday Night

by BaburiLol 1/26/2022

written by BaburiLol

It was a Sunday night and I was in my bed and I was just trying to sleep but the voices came I was able to ignore them at first but every minute they kept getting louder and louder “Nobody loves you, you deserve to die” The voices said over and over and over again. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I went Upstairs Grabbed the sharpest knife in my house and shoved it 3 inches deep into my stomach.
I fell straight to the ground and tried to call out for help but I was in to much pain to scream, I […]

1/26/2022 1 comment

sad

by Uselss 1/11/2022

written by Uselss

It was a Monday, there always rough so I decided it was the best time. I researched the most painless ways but I didn’t have any options other than a knife. I tried multiple times before but I didn’t have the courage, but I knew this time it was it. I secretly grabbed a knife and sliced my stomach, I realized that I should have done it on my heart afterwards and fell to the floor. It was so painful and I saw my family members all crying while I was lying down. Honestly, its not worth it unless you have no family because your […]

1/11/2022 0 comment

i attempted thursday night

by damidami 12/4/2021

written by damidami

its funny, this was my fourth attempt, usually i plan out everything in advance, but this was so spontanious, i just felt an urge. i failed, sadly and my boyfriend was spam calling me, i picked up and i heard him sobbing, asking me why, telling me hes sorry and my heart broke. his voice and how he sobbed has been replaying in my mind past few days and i just feel awful about it now. i just feel selfish for causing all of this pain to him. im tired.

12/4/2021 1 comment

No One to Blame

by mmmm 12/3/2021

written by mmmm

Maybe, it is me who is my own culprit, it is my fault that I did not act the way I was supposed to in order to survive in this cruel world. Maybe, everything that is bothering me is just an illusion, it is a noise coming from my mind that is making me feel worthless, reminding me constantly of all my flaws and insecurities. Maybe, I wronged myself by having expectations on others, hoping they would understand me, hoping that they will turn out the way I want , hoping they will bring happiness and well-being in my life. Maybe, I should have learned […]

12/3/2021 2 comments

Current Reasons not to kill myself

by Makenzie_1644 11/9/2021

written by Makenzie_1644

I don’t want to leave my favorite coworker. She’s slowly become my best friend over the last two months, and I don’t want to leave her.
My cousin. He’s an only child and I’ve taken on the role of older sibling to him so that he has some form of positive influence in his life.
My brother. I want to rebuild my relationship with my older brother. We haven’t spoken in over five years, but I want to reconnect with him and I know I can’t do that if I’m gone.
I want to spend as much time as I can with my family’s dog before he’s gone.
As […]

11/9/2021 0 comment

Things I don’t do since I tried to commit suicide

by Makenzie_1644 11/7/2021

written by Makenzie_1644

1. Take any sort of pill: My last suicide attempt was an attempted overdose. I spent 12 hours puking and dry-heaving. Now, even the thought of taking any sort of medicine in pill form makes my stomach turn.
2. Talk to my family about my mental health: They don’t understand why I feel the way I do. They don’t understand why I feel depressed, and they refuse to change their mindsets. I’ve tried to explain it to them, but nothing ever really changes.
3. Brush people off: I know what it feels like to have my feelings be brushed off and ignored. I refuse to […]

11/7/2021 2 comments

Im getting old woohoo!

by GhastlyReality92 11/2/2021

written by GhastlyReality92

Im getting old woohoo!

my philosophy about how much suffering we should endure is probably comparable to that of clive barkers cenobites ideas around it.
ive honestly seeked out death for myself
ive honestly seeked out a life for myself.
Im at my end. If i can’t die. i cant live. .
im 29years old so you listen hear youngens and old bastards alike: Keep kicking or dont. Expend every ounce of free will. Preserve it. or dont.
im not sick. I never was.
They can take me away but after years of frustratingly ordering my opinions about this matter.. And learning to enter/escape bigger hell holes: Lol no one can convince […]

11/2/2021 1 comment

need some help with family issues.

by elkadaia_ 11/1/2021

written by elkadaia_

I’m going to do a psych eval soon, per my mother’s wishes. I’m— excited? Kind of? I’m happy that after three years I can finally rest easy and get these diagnoses. But I’m also, somewhat, scared? It’s understandable, the last psych eval I did ended in chaos — with me only getting a diagnose of unspec-anxiety and getting off with no therapy. My mother is slightly worried, but believes I’m “a-okay” and am just having a reaction to allergies (which makes. zero. sense in my book). I want to tell her that I’ve attempted eight times but I’m scared that if I do, she’ll disown […]

11/1/2021 0 comment

fucked head

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

when i used to self harm i used to hit my head a lot, i didnt think of it that much back then but now i see the result. probably any type of self harm is better than hitting ur head, i suffer from memory loss, but no one would probably believe me, i dont even remember basic stuff such as what happened the day before, what somebody told me or things that i did, i may sound dramatic but its worse than it sounds. i dont remember how i started it but i did it everytime my mom was bitching about smth that ive […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

I’m tired af

by Notdedyet 8/18/2021

written by Notdedyet

Masking heavy thoughts
Like dirt covering a dead seed
Giving life to unclean intentions
And sprouting the darkest deeds

Song lyrics?:
The things I’ve tried and heard
Looking for better words 2x

Idk I’m just trying to get rid of the loud thoughts and go tf to sleep

8/18/2021 4 comments

Samantha Sings

by 1 m p 3 r m 3 n 4 n c 3 8/15/2021

written by 1 m p 3 r m 3 n 4 n c 3

She overcame sadness by sharing her gift. Listen to my dear friend at soundcloud.com/ samanthasings ~ may you be renewed and find comfort and joy in this life

8/15/2021 0 comment

by The riddler 8/8/2021

written by The riddler

If you need a friend and have nobody, follow me on IG and we can be each others friend. I’m lonely and been in a dark place. I’m losing so many friends.

*I accept all follow requests, just DM me after so I know this website is the reason for the add*

riley_with_a_d

8/8/2021 1 comment

by cowabooga 8/8/2021

written by cowabooga

i dont know how long i can take it i hope next week ill finally be motivated to go and not be spooked out this time
life is a cliff and ive spent most of it just hanging on and i think ill finally be able to get up then my fingers slip more and people care and want to help but i dont know how to help myself idk i cant keep living like this and i ruin everything i touch and make everyone disappointed or mad im not mentslly ill my life is fine nothings happened?? cant keep coping bc ppl are mad […]

8/8/2021 1 comment

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