how much can one person take ? how much pain , betrayal , heartbreak . . . uud be surprised how much i’ve been through . i joined this site today because i dont know what to do anymore . ive been through so much shit in my life and it just keeps getting worse as i get older . i might as well start where everything began to fall apart .
when i was in 5th grade i went to my grandparents house for the day with my family . we got there and all my aunts and uncles were there too , so we were like alright thats cool whatever . after i ate i didnt feel too good so i went to the back room to just lay down watch tv and relax wel my cousin came in . . . he started to touch me and kiss me and i just layed there still . i was so scared and didnt know what to do . then i finally pulled away and went home . i told my mom everything and now i dont see that cousin anymore . its caused a lot of tention in my family which absolutely sucks .
then in 6th grade i was bullied every day . i only had three true friends . . . and the rest of the school . . . was against me . i would end up in the guidance office everyday because of something new that happened . they never took me seriously , they thought i just wanted attention . then one day this boy tried to pull me into the boys bathroom i fought him off and ran to the guidance offfice . before i stepped in the door i realized that they wouldnt believe me and it would just be a waste of time so i just went to the nurses office and layed there in a private room with the cott and just cried . with no one there to talk to .
in 7th grade things started to get better since i switched schools i had great frends and even a new boyfriend . we were together for 7 months i liked him a lot . then i caught him cheating on me with my best friend . so i broke up with him , then only to find out a week later that it wasnt the first time it had happened . he cheated on me 3 different times with 3 deifferent girls . and i found out he had been doin drugs and he knew that i hated that .
8th grade was one of the hardest years for me . i went out with kid that i really liked . . . i even fell in love with him , he was my first love , and he broke my heart . . . i still love him even to this day . he saved my life . . . uu see there was this kid that asked me out . and i shot him down , but he bacame obssessed with me . he told my friends that he was going to rape me and then kill me that way if he couldnt have me at least no one else could . . . then one day he threw me over his shoulder and ran to the woods and i just kept screeming and he told me to shut up and just kept running . my boyfriend followed us into the woods and got me away from him and i went to the principal and told him everything . thats when i first started cutting .
now im in 9th grade and things have just been bad . my relationship with my parents is bad they told me i was a mistake and that they dont want me . i have cut up my arm and my hips . . . and they still dont know . but i dont wanna cut anymore . . . i just dont want to be here at all .
1 comment
Hello
For a start, you have me as mentor and supporter unconditionally. So there is already 1 person who wants you in the sense of wanting your happiness. By all means there will be many more, but it is a matter of selecting them right.
What your parents told you is just a monstrosity. What is happening here is you are a loving girl and they are the failure. Do not argue that but dont linger on that sadness. Still there is years and year of happiness that you are going to strive for and experience as you grow older.
Stop that cutting now and instead write tons here about everything. Write us a diary or write me a diary. Lets see how we rebuild everything from scratch and leave aside and ignore the comments from your parents. One day, when you become an adult you may have some words to tell them about what they were for you when you were a little girl.
In the meantime, like I said, reorganize resources and count on us. Most, I say most because some here write dumb things, are good people.
O