you are not like log of wood that someone can place here and there at will.
It is you who decides what you want to do. The fact that he talks like that is already telling you that his words must be meaningless to you. A daughter is a beautiful daughter always no matter what she looks like. The issue here is not at all whether fatter or skinner, the issue is his spitful callousness and unsensitivity.
I like everything for food, but since I care about my health, I avoid certain things. You can skip things that are unhealthy such as burgers and pizzas, and eat like a civilized European girl if you are American.
Tell me, what is the kind of food you usually eat ?
Your father loves you more then you’ll ever understand right now. Attractiveness is the #1 trait females are valued by in this society; I know many young women who developed healthy eating disorders because of their fathers and are all extremely beautiful now, and have very good self esteems because of it.
Careex I don’t agree with what the others have said.
People seem to think in this society that someone is less of a person if they are fat or ugly. They feel that they have a right to comment. They feel that it is their business. Well it isn’t. Why would you need someone to tell you that you’re fat? That’s like someone telling you that you have acne on your face or a crooked tooth! You already know that…you’ve probably spent a million more hours in front of the mirror lamenting those facts.
So if your dad thinks he has the right to comment on your weight then does that mean that reasoning applies to you too? Does that mean if he has some ‘socially unacceptable’ characteristic you’re free to comment as well? Hey what if he has erectile dysfunction? You should comment loudly on that while eating with him in a restaurant and then say something like ‘Dad you know that feeling you’re experiencing right now? Well that’s how I feel every time you comment on my weight.’
I feel very strongly about this because some of my family have weight problems and have been treated like second-hand citizens because of it. People automatically think well those fatsos have no restraint, they eat shit and don’t exercise. When in reality they have genetic thyroid problems which affect their weight.
So you see Careex, I believe that what your dad is doing is wrong. Some would even say it’s emotional abuse.
It’s wrong to address somebody’s wrong, if without offering an effective remedy to fix.
The main point is hurting, kind of like a torture.
But it also hurts, if not telling somebody that something is wrong, in a heart of sincerity.
More than 10 years ago, I asked my sister why her right eye was looking that odd. How odd she asked, I reluctantly but said..ugly.
She didn’t agree.
And I didn’t know the reason for that, only that I could tell it’s very wrong. And she hated me for this aftersince, even sabotaged my marriage.
Just after a few months of her awful eye incidence, her husband died of an accident.
Of course, I know now, after learning the knowledge of related fields, and gathering real life’s data to prove that, the right eye represents the dominant male, if it’s not the father in her house, then will be the husband.
Even that, didn’t ever help easing her hate toward me, because it already rooted deep in her.
So please forgive someone if the hurting words you might feel, is from someone sincere.
Iriega: Being fat is not a ” ’socially unacceptable’ characteristic “, it involves the heath of a person. I don’t see anyone saying in this thread that anyone is allowed to comment on anyone else’s weight or other ‘issues’ this post is about the girls DAD not some random in the street. If her own dad can’t comment on his own daughters health then something is very wrong! Saying someone is fat is NOT like saying someone is ugly, it’s ridiculous for you to say that.
man-from-earth- “Saying someone is fat is NOT like saying someone is ugly, it’s ridiculous for you to say that.” Obviously you can’t remember what high-school was like. Fat is the epitome of ugly.
Okay fine yes her Dad is probably worried about her health. But repeatedly telling her she’s fat? For fuck’s sake, look where she’s posting- a suicide forum! Do you think his commenting is having the desired effect? If he’s worried this definitely isn’t the way to go about it.
We are all just trying to get by. Your Dad has his issues and you have yours. How can anyone comment without the entire situation? Maybe you are fat. Maybe he is a jerk. Maybe you are not fat and he is not jerk.
The point is you take what people say and realize that first you are you. You need goals to better yourself because you are not perfect, none of us are. Do not decide what is perfect in their eyes decide what is perfect in yours. One of those goals is to forgive and accept ourself daily. If you do not attain the goal you tried. If you said what the @#$# one day and had a bag of tortillas covered in cheez whiz, then remember one important thing… THEY WERE SO GOOD!! Third , if someone criticizes you it is saying more about them than you unless it is done from concern and love.
Basically give it a rest and get a grip. If you can not handle the situation then change the situation.
If he is truly demeaning then just tell him you are sorry and get a bowl of Ice Cream. If he is concerned then go online and research the issues that resolve the reasons why you may be overweight.
My experience though tells me he may be a jerk.
It is not right to say you are fat in those words. If that is just his way and it hurts you, then get out of his way. He is apparently choosing the very thing that brings you to this site, your feelings about yourself. Unless you are misrepresenting the way he said it , and taking his comment out of context my gut feeling is to get away.
That is your decision. At least until you have a little more self esteem
9 comments
hey hold it,
you are not like log of wood that someone can place here and there at will.
It is you who decides what you want to do. The fact that he talks like that is already telling you that his words must be meaningless to you. A daughter is a beautiful daughter always no matter what she looks like. The issue here is not at all whether fatter or skinner, the issue is his spitful callousness and unsensitivity.
I like everything for food, but since I care about my health, I avoid certain things. You can skip things that are unhealthy such as burgers and pizzas, and eat like a civilized European girl if you are American.
Tell me, what is the kind of food you usually eat ?
Your father loves you more then you’ll ever understand right now. Attractiveness is the #1 trait females are valued by in this society; I know many young women who developed healthy eating disorders because of their fathers and are all extremely beautiful now, and have very good self esteems because of it.
If your own dad can’t tell you you’re fat then who can? Is everyone who loves you supposed to ignore that fact?
yes, their answer is good, mine was not .
Careex I don’t agree with what the others have said.
People seem to think in this society that someone is less of a person if they are fat or ugly. They feel that they have a right to comment. They feel that it is their business. Well it isn’t. Why would you need someone to tell you that you’re fat? That’s like someone telling you that you have acne on your face or a crooked tooth! You already know that…you’ve probably spent a million more hours in front of the mirror lamenting those facts.
So if your dad thinks he has the right to comment on your weight then does that mean that reasoning applies to you too? Does that mean if he has some ‘socially unacceptable’ characteristic you’re free to comment as well? Hey what if he has erectile dysfunction? You should comment loudly on that while eating with him in a restaurant and then say something like ‘Dad you know that feeling you’re experiencing right now? Well that’s how I feel every time you comment on my weight.’
I feel very strongly about this because some of my family have weight problems and have been treated like second-hand citizens because of it. People automatically think well those fatsos have no restraint, they eat shit and don’t exercise. When in reality they have genetic thyroid problems which affect their weight.
So you see Careex, I believe that what your dad is doing is wrong. Some would even say it’s emotional abuse.
It’s wrong to address somebody’s wrong, if without offering an effective remedy to fix.
The main point is hurting, kind of like a torture.
But it also hurts, if not telling somebody that something is wrong, in a heart of sincerity.
More than 10 years ago, I asked my sister why her right eye was looking that odd. How odd she asked, I reluctantly but said..ugly.
She didn’t agree.
And I didn’t know the reason for that, only that I could tell it’s very wrong. And she hated me for this aftersince, even sabotaged my marriage.
Just after a few months of her awful eye incidence, her husband died of an accident.
Of course, I know now, after learning the knowledge of related fields, and gathering real life’s data to prove that, the right eye represents the dominant male, if it’s not the father in her house, then will be the husband.
Even that, didn’t ever help easing her hate toward me, because it already rooted deep in her.
So please forgive someone if the hurting words you might feel, is from someone sincere.
Iriega: Being fat is not a ” ’socially unacceptable’ characteristic “, it involves the heath of a person. I don’t see anyone saying in this thread that anyone is allowed to comment on anyone else’s weight or other ‘issues’ this post is about the girls DAD not some random in the street. If her own dad can’t comment on his own daughters health then something is very wrong! Saying someone is fat is NOT like saying someone is ugly, it’s ridiculous for you to say that.
man-from-earth- “Saying someone is fat is NOT like saying someone is ugly, it’s ridiculous for you to say that.” Obviously you can’t remember what high-school was like. Fat is the epitome of ugly.
Okay fine yes her Dad is probably worried about her health. But repeatedly telling her she’s fat? For fuck’s sake, look where she’s posting- a suicide forum! Do you think his commenting is having the desired effect? If he’s worried this definitely isn’t the way to go about it.
We are all just trying to get by. Your Dad has his issues and you have yours. How can anyone comment without the entire situation? Maybe you are fat. Maybe he is a jerk. Maybe you are not fat and he is not jerk.
The point is you take what people say and realize that first you are you. You need goals to better yourself because you are not perfect, none of us are. Do not decide what is perfect in their eyes decide what is perfect in yours. One of those goals is to forgive and accept ourself daily. If you do not attain the goal you tried. If you said what the @#$# one day and had a bag of tortillas covered in cheez whiz, then remember one important thing… THEY WERE SO GOOD!! Third , if someone criticizes you it is saying more about them than you unless it is done from concern and love.
Basically give it a rest and get a grip. If you can not handle the situation then change the situation.
If he is truly demeaning then just tell him you are sorry and get a bowl of Ice Cream. If he is concerned then go online and research the issues that resolve the reasons why you may be overweight.
My experience though tells me he may be a jerk.
It is not right to say you are fat in those words. If that is just his way and it hurts you, then get out of his way. He is apparently choosing the very thing that brings you to this site, your feelings about yourself. Unless you are misrepresenting the way he said it , and taking his comment out of context my gut feeling is to get away.
That is your decision. At least until you have a little more self esteem