I have seriously had it with everyone. They say they care about me and all this other bullshit, but do they? Fuck no! I give everyone and even my so called ‘friends’ hints that I want a hug, but I never get it. That’s all I want. I just want someone to hug me and say ‘I love you’. And not even in the intamite kind of way just a care/love hug. I am noticing myself getting more pissed off everyday. No one gives a shit about me so why should I give a shit about them? Maybe I’m going crazy. That’s your opionon to make and personally I don’t don’t care. I just can’t take my heart being broken again and again. I’ve tried figuring out what’s wrong with me, but I can’t find anything. I know I’m depressed and everyone one of my goddamed friends say I’m selfish, but that’s what depression does to you. It’s all right to be selfish when your depressed. I am just so fucking pissed off at myself and everyone around me. I just want to die. I’ve had enough of this life and I’m preety sure it’s had enough of me. Whatever…..fuck me
6 comments
Sweetie, just open your eyes. Force your eyelids to go up with your hands if you have to.
Realize that most of your friends are either scared of you, and what you might do.
Believe me, it’s really hard to eknow someone that’s suicidal,
Cuz when they die,
You feel like it’s your fault.
Or most of your friends just feel bad,
And they don’t want to say it.
But just open your eyes. You’re not looking at every single detail.
The feelings that you are going through, I understand. Please email me at helpingotherssurvive@gmail.com.
I feel like that too, that people think your selfish because you’re depressed and you’re not thinking about anyone else. It’s bullshit.
Thanks neverthesame! I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who feels like that. I’m really suicidal, but I have considered it. I want someone to love me, but I’m terrified I will be hurt again because love hasn’t done me any good. It only hurts me. People say they care, but I know their lying. It’s like they acknowledge me for a fucking second and say “Hi” or they poke me until I respond. They ask “How are you?” and I just shrug because somedays I really don’t know how I am. Then they just go back to whatever it is they were doing and act like I’m a godammed ghost. It pisses me off to see my friends happy. I’m an a extremely jealous person. Somedays when someone asks me if I’m ok I just want to turn around and scream in there face “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!!!!????” I just want to leave and buy a house somewhere and die alone. That would best for everyone
Listen to slipknot, makes life a lil easier.
silent23, I too want to buy a house somewhere and just be away from everyone ’til I die. Like a house, maybe a farm, in the country, in the middle of a green field, with a few trees off on one side, and maybe a couple of horses on the other. Just somewhere peaceful. In nature. Hope things get better for you soon, I understand the anger and thoughts of selfishness too, although it’s very hard, I mean like impossible, not to be when you feel so depressed. Thanks for sharing.