It is here and it is real. But it will be no more. Shortly.

I am glad that some of you  understand my pain. It will end today. I don’t know how or when  but it will be today. I have written my goodbyes. I will say them too. I must say goodbye to my mother and Shawn. I must give them that. They will not reach me in time so I am not worried about being “rescued”. It would not be a rescuing of life but a flogging of one to bring me back to this hell. This life. This emptiness. It grows closer, death, I can feel it. Must do all that I can to stay on this path. The consequneces now would be to dire to imagine if I do not. Disgrace, humiliation. Now I have an answer. Finally relief. A way out. A solution. My peace.

-Valerie Malinda Jones

December 8th 1980 – December 10th 2010

Listening to Benjamin Gibbard & Steve Fisk’s ‘Overture’ from “Kurt Cobain about a son” . A beautiful composition to drift away.