You see nothing more
Than what I choose to show
You see a calm shore
When I’m really drowning
Why is it that I can’t say
What’s really bothering me?
It as if the thing that’s in the way
Is my perception
You know only what I
Choose to tell you
And even then it’s what I
Didn’t want to
Why is it that I can’t say
What’s really bothering me?
What’s really in the way
Is both you and I
I fear this crumbling act
More than I choose to show
And I fear how you’ll act
If you ever know
Is this why I can’t say
What’s really bothering me?
This shadowed ray
Of my life
I want to tell you
Everything there is to tell
But somehow when I see you
This mask returns every time
I get why I can’t say
What’s really bothering me…
It doesn’t mean even this way
I have to like the way things are
And I’m not in control at all
Not around you
I don’t want to fall
Or burden you with that
But what else can I do?
My shield’s turned against me,
My only way to live…
Forgetting
Reviving
Surviving
Alone…
And now when I only need a hug
I become that still, emotionless doll
Good for nothing
A failure to the last.