I am talented, I make a living playing music–something many people could only dream of, but yet every year I spend months trying to commit suicide. Stints of happiness and joy in what I do in no way make up for the pain and unhappiness I have experienced as long as I can remember. Drugs, therapy I have tried everything and have put myself far into debt because of it, so here I am; Broke, broken, and homeless. Is this my reward for treating people horribly in the past– continued self hatred, or is this a sign that things should end here? They seem to go hand in hand.
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I am also a musician, and I’m 28,
The difference is that I still haven’t made a living from it,
because of damn confusion and endless conflicts with my father about this.
If I may know, where are u from, and how old r u?
And can you explain how exactly u treated people badly in the past? (Ie: ur story) like how ‘bad’ it is?
And was it intentionally or unintentionally?
Because they two are different things.