I was abused as a child and that’s a large part of why I feel the way I do and why I am on sites like this. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally abused. No one wants me to talk about it. So I’m looking for some community. Can anyone relate?
-X
114 comments
I guess i can relate and hey ill talk to you.
Hi there my name is robert and well I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused as a kid. It certainly complicated my life. I used drugs to mask the pain but on 3 occasions the pain was to much to bare so I tried to kill myself. I failed all 3 times and still wonder why. I just want to let you know that the pain doesn’t go away but it does subside.I feel ok talking about what happened to me where as before I just blocked it out as if it never happened but the reality is it did.I’m here to support you in any way I can.
I kinda can kinda relate, ive seen alot of a abuse in my life. I mean only a little bit was done to me, but ive always been strong enough to fight back.
Ive only really seen the destruction it does to someones soul.
I listen to my mum’s stories the stuff she can barely remember.
Like her parents covering shit up ” shes too young she wont remember”
My mum is the nicest person ever conceivable, does anything for anyone no matter the risk to her body or her soul.
My mum survived. Ive heard her dreams of the dark man slamming her head into something, Shaking in her sleep.
….
Most child abuse ive seen i accidently wondered in to umm.. evil situations and couldnt control myself and couldnt control myself. like ive seen people trying to kidnap kids and just snap stomp their head to mush. Pedophiles are scum
I mean sometimes theres nothing you can do. But ive seen abusers, They are scared people, cant handle life so they take it out on other people and once someone with power is put into the picture, they try escape at any cost…
All you can do is try and fight.
Body heals, your soul doesnt
they both get stronger. but your soul never heals
Thanks for responding guys. So have any of you experienced the outright denial and/or being blamed for the abuse? WTF? In my experience people are so fucking cowardly about looking at the fucked up shit that really goes on in the world that they will turn their back on someone who has been abused and mistreated their whole life just so they don’t have to face the truth. I feel I could recover . . . if I didn’t feel like most of the world wanted me silenced along with my fucked up family.
Well only my sister belived me that I was sexually abused everyone else told me to “stop making up stories” but the physical abuse was obvious because of the bruises and scars. And I would never turn my back on anyone wether we share the same experiences or not.
Ill never look away.
Im ganna stop it.
I have felt so alone because nobody seems to get how serious and fucked up what happened to me was. It’s all just ‘get over it’ and ‘bad stuff happens to everyone’. But I can’t believe I’m still able to live and work and breath when I have always hurt this badly
its hard shit to handle. I sometimes still relive what happened to me in my head and feel like I can’t fucking handle it. I’ve cried, I’ve tried forgeting, I’ve tried forgiving, hell I’ve even plotted murder against the fucker that did this to me. People that have been abused sexually or physically or both are scared for life.I am but I try not to let what happened define who I am as a person. Im a loving person even if I’m expressing more love than I receive.
No one understands, People who have kinda gone through the same thing, still dont really understand, even if you spell it out. People just dont want to go there, They dont want the world to be that fucked up.
Im a bad person, But i try and limit the darkness to the evil of the world
and in my eyes there is no worse evil then doing anything to children
every victim feels isolated, every victim can survive
but it should never happen to begin with
Well the reason children are victimized and abused is because they’re “easy” targets. I wish someone would try to do something to me now that I can fight back. 2 kinds of people I can’t and won’t tolerate are child molesters and men that hit women. This is a fucked up world we live in.
amen
totally agree,
This place is fucked up but we can change it.
what can “we” do to change it?
Whatever you want to do.
Kill all pedophiles
Change the government
Build an army
Make ourselves heard
destroy the Illuminati
or help victims
I cant leave my family in this fucked up world.
Ive been planning for years
well it would be nice to rid the earth of those sick fucks. And wouldn’t mind taking down the government in the process. You’re very inteligent speaker. You could easily be one of the worlds great revolutionary icons. Che guevara, karl marx. All revolutions start with an idea or belief.
lol i want to be in the background,
I need someone else to lead, Someone that just isnt capable of lust, greed, envy, gluttony, sloth, pride and wrath
but if no-one comes, ill have to do it.
But i have to plann it so life ends up better.
I feel a war coming, When this happens im ganna do something.
But until then i need allies – people with nothing, willing to do anything to change the world
That’s exactly what I want to do, speak out, wake people up, let them know that evil does exist. Get some people together an stop these monsters. But do people like us have the energy and strength for that kind of fight when we’ve had our spirits beaten out of us by the very people who were supposed to be taking care of us? I want to believe so badly that we do, but I feel so tired and scared. Still, I can’t let these cowards win . . .
Well ill gladly die for a great cause. It actually isn’t such a bad idea. Long live the revolution!
We dont have to be weak.
They are only humans
Weak humans.
We are better,
we are
The Damaged Generation
Speaking out does nothing atm
almost every pedo
Makes the child, look like the bad person.
They feel invincible
You’s dont understand how evil this planet is.
How deep into the system it goes
Every organisation, Every city
everywhere.
They must be controlled like they have been controlling us
Fear.
Fear is powerful
If you make people scared of something they will not go near it.
VIVA REVOLUTION
Hasta la victoria siempre-ernesto “che” guevara. We have strength in numbers. We could actually do this!
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead
“If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger.†– Hubert H. Humprey
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.†– Steve Jobs
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet avoid confrontation, are people who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its waters.” – Frederick Douglass
“Be the change you want to see in the world.†– Mahatma Gandhi
“Heeeyyyy” – fonzy
I’m commited to this 100%. This is a worthy cause that I would gladly fight and die for. The opressor shall become the opressed when the opressed retaliate
@xenutis: if you feel that it’s hard to start on your own, it might be a good idea to check on the already-established organization that you can strongly believe & relate to, instead of starting a new one and collecting like-minded individuals on your own.
Internet is a great tool/invention these days,
you can easily just look up at some organizations that are already quite established, that currently also believe and fight for the same things you believe. The difference is: they’re already established, have proper system and channels, so you can just right-away join in.
and perhaps even LEARN from them first, so perhaps in the future you will have SOLID experiences in starting a new organization on your own!
Just start do something, don’t talk or complain only.
Don’t let “them” (sick-fucks of pedophiles, child molesters, abusive fathers, etc) win by feeling beaten down, no hope, etc.
no, there IS hope,
in fact, you can go CREATE hope yourself!
be IN CONTROL! not out-of-control!
Find your Purpose, and believe in it, and just start EXECUTE it, and connect with like-minded people (believe me, there are also MANY! just look at this SP website for example, and see how many also feel strongly resonate with this fight!). It’s just a matter of keep searching, doing, and be persistent. and then, you’ll start to see the REAL result, although slowly but SURE!
and also leaving example and firm foundations for future generations!
“If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place. Go after what you want, and have it” – Nora Roberts
i love gandhi what a champ
Got the whole british army out without using any violence.
at the sacrifice of countless indians, proved that we are all the same,
No-one wants to kill helpless people
@Nit3fr3ak: exactly. proof that it IS indeed possible.
and with much better positive results too.
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?'” – George Bernard Shaw
Ive started. Watch out for the organizations. anything that refers to light, illumination. Stay the hell away
Dont trust anyone but yourself
Im trying to start my own organisation,
Violence is the fastest way
I agree with nit3fr3ak. Bloodshed is the only way to go.
To some scale. We only need to create fear. we dont necessary have to really take peoples lives but i see how i feel face to face with pure evil.
We have to spill blood on a massive scale. Look at adolf hitler, joseph stalin, and benito mousolini. We have to install obedience into them.
I was mentally, emotionally and physically abused by my beloved alcoholic father. Though to his credit he never sexually abused me…
For the record Mussolini and the Italian Fascists were moderate compared to the likes of Hitler, Stalin and Mao. The Fascists committed massacres yes but not genocide on a grand scale like the Nazis, Soviets or Chinese…
hahahaha, Massive bloodshed gets blurred, between right and wrong
We can only kill truly evil people and put fear into evil people give hope to the weak. Only the victim has the right to take their life, or at least on their permission, If the victim is dead then maybe… Everyone is still entitled to judgement
lol as to the tyrants dont get me started,
They are stupid, self-absorbed retards, Wanting whats best for them and not for the planet
Interesting fact – Hitler was born with a full set of teeth
I think religion and politics are the two most destructive belief systems at work in society today, and they just might destroy our world…
Actually I should have added capitalism to that list…
One thing is certain, we can’t allow things to remain the same.we have to take a stand and create a better world for the generations that follow.
Wasn’t hitler also a meth addict?
I’m 38 now, and feel just as powerless as when I was a teen. The people in charge of this world are by and large, power hungry old men…
I think Hitler might have been addicted to morphine…
ummm more or less
Politics is good to some perspective, except the constant lying and word doctoring, well a good politician is good.
Religion does have alot to answer for aswell, but it has help countless people by placebo
The Two things that are destroying the world
Is money and cover ups
Nationalism, totalitarianism, capitalism, racism, communism, Democracy, Republicanism, equalisationism and all of them are just world to make people believe in the same shit so there easier to control
Its all the same system
my system will be different
Haha, why not just say humans? I mean all of those things are done by us fucking humans, so that’s the crux of this problem isn’t it? Humanity!
I know that hitler was in the late stages of parkinsosns disease before he committed suicide.
@Shelly: it’s about to change (ie: the ‘System’)…trust me on this.
certainly you won’t see it next week or next month, but trust me, Change seems to be on the way, everywhere!
for those of you if you want to, you can add me in email and Facebook at
nikiwonoto@gmail.com
count me in for the fights against the current evil System!
yea hitler loved the opium/ morphine same shit.
Im 19 and i dont know to whether use my knowledge to destroy the population of man or help them fix it.
I wish my mother would hurry up and perish, so i didnt have to decide
and just be alone, like ive always wanted, into the darkness
So we should exterminate ourselves?
i hate humans, but what can you do
We need to disappear to give life on earth a chance, we’ve had our time in the sun and every opportunity that nature can gave us and we’ve blown it…
Kill all humans?
I’m not saying should exterminate ourselves, but the way we’re going it will happen anyway, and everything else that shares our planet…
i dont know, My situation is like none other.
i can cause nations of peoples bones just turn to dust, maybe everyone in the world, just by entering a few numbers into a computer or pressing a pre-programed button
Imagine everyone a pile of mush, still living justt cant do anything.
Thats just one of my idea
I mean the cure to cancer/ aids, common cold and most thing has been around for 200 years
but due to the American pharmaceutical had the guy destroyed and the science is now almost forgotten
As far as I can see it’s either change our ways and stay alive or bite the dust and be wiped out. I’m merely pointing out that we’re the problem…
i shouldnt of said that
Damn that sucks. We should try and stop it while we still can.
Human race either has to start again or evolve,
Nit3fr3ak you should do it. Exterminate us. All we do is destroy anyway.
Its not my place to judge everyone, I can only judge people who wont be judged by anyone else.
Maybe the universe was created for us to fight for.
I believe in survival of the fittest and im not killing my family.
Do you believe in the idea that there is. Superior race? And that the weaker races must be exterminated or enslaved? Kind of like what hitler had in mind.
We either invest more in renewable energy sources and making viable nuclear fusion reactors, or perish. We also have to refocus our financial model from one of constant economic growth to one that takes into account that we live in a world of finite resources, but idk if we have the time anymore…
Hitler and his ilk were mass murdering psychopaths, I loathe them…
I don’t think the governments of the world are gonna like that idea. I think were pretty much doomed.
Ummm i believe every race is equal and just as scared as everyone.
Rich people dont want renewable so when something actually is renewable is put to work. It is covered up and forgotten.
When there is money nothing can be infinite
When people are ready ill give them infinite resource
In my eyes, the world is not ready
They should of listen to nikola
We’re fucked.
Lol. the human race is fine atm. we still have like 14 years of fossil fuels
When theres no fossil fuels ill tell some secrets or maybe i should just live for myself like i tell everyone else to do
hmm… idk
Well I think you would make a great leader.
So do i.
But im too human.
one pritty girl tells me to stop i cant say no
i just love women too much
Well it seems that emotions are our one major flaw. But I would probably do the same.
Im getting closer to figuring out a plan which is best for every child,
and every women
How about the death penalty for child molesters?
Not good enough.
We got to make it so, If they think of it
either there brain explodes
or they just drop dead.
Or how about we get people to sexually abuse them? Never mind they would probably like it. I think we should just shoot them on the spot.
hmm its easier if you dont have to be there
Why?
hmm do you have msn messenger?
it will take me along time to explain
Nit3fr3ak: if you don’t mind, I’m also interested to hear about your idea.
“(Never underestimate the importance of an idea). An idea is like a virus, resilient, highly contagious,..the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you.” – Inception movie
you can email me directly at nikiwonoto@gmail.com
or through Facebook (FB), maybe form a FB group or something,
chat is fine also, but due to time difference & own’s schedule, it might be hard to be both online & chatting.
And regarding the finite resource, you are right, Nit3fr3ak,
the solution to the whole world (planet)’s hunger, poverty, etc is actually already SOLVED in theories by many scientists,
but unfortunately it’s the corrupt, sick-minded Powers-that-be (government, big corporations, etc) that play trickery to keep everything/the world under THEIR control, instead of working together in APPLYING the ready-solutions!
Yes it’s fucking sick. I know, and therefore I can totally understand if you guys hate humanity (not to mention we are littered also with close-minded, shallow, obnoxious people everywhere that doesn’t seem to care or WANT to understand about the future of our planet!),
but like I said before, it’s *starting* to change, slowly but sure.
Please google: Zeitgeist Movement,
and read as many information as possible.
if you have Facebook (FB), try also type “the Zeitgeist Movement” and read on the discussion board.
this is basically one of the best solution about eliminating human’s basic needs like hunger, poverty, etc.
It’s a Resource-Based Economy, instead of based on the Monetary (money) concept. It covers human’s BASIC needs.
try. google it. and read a lot info on the Net.
you will probably be enlightened.
It’s starting… let’s join the movement.
Join the fight.
Ive heard of this shit before. Dick n*****n marketed it.
Its the Illuminati trying to make people controlled. give people a little bit of hope just to be disappointed.
Resources are actually same as money. People just cant have enough. People always want more. Its just evolved communism.
I hate scientists as well their blind as well.
But their theories are right.
haha Time spirit
Ive spied on so many people, hacked so many computers
human nature is human nature
Pride, greed, gluttony, envy, sloth, wrath and lust
when they are gone maybe people can be trusted
Nit3fr3ak you’re making me feel guilty being a human. I wish I was a bird.
i wish i was a tree,
honestly i could tell you stories that would curdle your bones.
Like breaking into a basement. In victoria and finding a room full of dead children with 10- 12 men, Dis honouring their death
Necrophillac pedophiles my brain couldnt handle it. i just locked them in and set it up in flames.
Teaches me though, Dont go robbing random places
Holy crap tell me that story isn’t true please.
i dont care what you believe
Its prolly easier to live in a world which isnt that disgusting.
Damn just thinkling about it makes me feel sad, disgusted, enraged, and just creeped out. Therre are some weird and perverted people in this fucked up world.
ive been hunting this organization ever since then.
That was a just little. Ive heard stories of a china lake facility. i think its moved now
they get parents into debt and bad situations make them take the kids or their lives . Then cage the children and daily electrocution, rapes, Watching one of their peers that also had been stolen get slaughtered and had their peers blood drawn on their forehead .
I thought theres no way. its so deep into the system, into every country, i mean im probably crazy but man
i saw a small one. a Children factory. Programmed to be whatever they want it to be. i didnt know what to do, i was 14 so i told the cops.
They stole me, bashed the shit out of me, might of done shit to me, i cant remember but when i woke up i was un-manacled in a tiny cage, I was a fattish kinda kid but there wasnt enough room to lift my arms. This robed guy ( totally naked underneath) approached my caged. i punched him straight in the adams apple and he drop like a bag of shit, i just ran, im so lucky i checked the place out first, and knew where to run
i got out of their and hitch-hiked back to where my family was.
Plotting my vengence. For all the lost souls they destroyed.
I cant tell anyone really, Anyone who i do tell dont believe me and anyone that does is involved in it.
This is why im ganna change the world when the time is write
I say c’mon, let’s do something.
you said you want resort to violence to eliminate this evil,
if it’s what really needed to punish humans, like a dog (and of course human is TEN times more evil than dogs! dogs are innocent. humans are fucking filthy, unfortunately!) , then SO BE IT!
C’mon, tell me, I’ve told u my email address right?
Email me. or better yet, you can email everybody in a Group/Mailing-list setting, so we can keep updating and connecting with each other.
The more people the stronger and more powerful we are!
At least if we want to die,
we can die by burning alongside the Evil,
and thus to set example, controversy to make future generations of humans THINK and PONDER seeing our ‘heroic death’ !!
it would be damn WORTH it!
count me in!
@Nit3fr3ak: when will be the ‘right’ time?
after 2012? would you want to wait-and-see for what’s going to happen in that year first?
or it’s going to be sooner?
i will know the time.
It when people are ready to change
Will would be killed quickly. dont be naive child
What do u want to?
I want humans to be better, Its not ganna happen
Whats the point of saving something, That will just get greedy and do it all again with more technology.
People have to be ready or our extinction will be quicker.
The big money player wont let us get anywhere.
We need money to fight back in this world.
and people to back us up. you may think everyone wants
pedophiles to go away, but they dont, Alot more people are brainwashed then you can ever imagine. You tell them they are brain washed they are so brain washed they will just go kill themselves.
People have to learn first
Pride, greed, gluttony, envy, sloth, wrath and lust
when every human can go with out, people are ready.
If something happens dec 22 2012, which its not, Then gaia has given her sentence
Every species ends up extinct
If you’re planning a mass murder count me in.
Nit3fr3ak where did this take place? I can’t stop thinkin about this. How the fuck is this happening in modern society.fuck humans are fucking disgusting parasites.
well thats only when i was a kid, ive seen quite few now, All over my country,
They started in America. Its traumatising even to imagine yet witness
But not all people are bad. Ive found the nicest most awesome people in the weirdest places
I mean what i have seen is nothing compared to the bigger scheme, It is about controlling society i mean i cant really say any more, ive said to much
I just found some information online. I’m actually crying. I can’t believe it. Why? I just don’t get it. Poor inocent kids. Why haven’t they put a stop to this fucking shit?
The bigger scheme. almost every ceo is involved
keep it quiet
Does it have to do with The Illuminati?
It was the start, im not saying its real name, you have to found out for yourself, nothing i can say will show you the evil behind the light.
just becareful
I can’t even talk right now. I don’t know anything. My whole perception of reality has been shattered. The only word that comes to mind right now is why?why?why?why? I feel like I’m having a nervous break down.
Relax
It nothing to stress about.
Stressing does nothing
Crying doesnt do anything
Just dont blind, If something seems wrong it probably is
y?Y?Y?y do u really want to know why people are this way. I mean i did, but i regret learning what ive learnt about the world
-the planet and the universe is my playground
I want to know everything you know please. Do they choose specific children? Who can I trust?
If you have knowledge, and there are people who are so *willing* to be teached and educated, then you should not underestimate this opportunity/chance to pass the teachings.
‘Cuz that’s how seeds of teachings can grow larger & larger.
An idea that only stored in a box will have no use,
In fact, it will only be a waste of space.
No-one.
Everyone can be bought with paper,
The child doesnt matter. Its all just for brainwashing
Maybe 3-5 in 1000
will survive to continue their evil views
i mean i cant say anything the only proof i have is the blood on my hands
and the words from the people i have tortured + a little more, the rest is just rumors
Please email me everything
Man.
Forget about it
better yourself first
Become fit, Exercise everyday
read a book everyday
expand your mind
your not ready yet
im not ready yet
learn everything u can
i mean I study everything from physics to martial arts to the art of death, to terrorist, anarchist, lock picks, everything. Aeronautics, lasers, child raising, metallurgy, metal machining, poisons, nuclear mechanics, encyclopedias, Military applications, electronic engineering, effects of child abuse. etc
learn every thing you need to do to handle any situation. Just sit down and think what do i need to learn to be better then everyone else.
You cant do much on your own if your not prepared, If your prepared you can do what ever you want
get off the meth
ull go psychotic, i mean im paranoid enough
be the best,
Try not to break the deadly sins or break them in balance with good intentions. (greed,lust,pride,envy etc)
I feel like strapping a bomb to myself and blowing them all to hell. The china lake base isn’t to far from where I live.
its just a empty warehouse now i think
it was active until like 3-5 years ago
Killing a few people wont change anything though.
The children are pritty much lost anyway but they dont need to explode.
We need to killed like either 25% over night or 10 everyday for anything to happen and its like a military outpost man. Armed men, guard dogs,
you wouldnt get in deep enough to do any damage, gotta be really smart
I know a weapons dealer.I can get ak’s sks’ m-16’s uzi’s tech nines. Let’s start a revolution