a walk in the park

i could go out.

i could make friends.

maybe.

i could go out, be friendly

maybe.

but im too tired.

i dont have the energy to seek approval and impress.

im tired.

im tired of everything.

sometimes im too tired to sleep.

where did this happen?

when did my life become like this?

when did i stop having fun

and

when did i stop wanting too.

was it when i was judged.

maybe when i realised life has criteria

be pretty, but dont try too hard.

be funny, but not lame.

be confident, but not too loud.

be nice, but not so much that your a pushover

be smart, but not so much that your a nerd

i just miss being myself.

i miss wearing the clothes i want to.

i miss being with the people i want to.

i miss people missing me.

i miss people ill never again see.

im just a pathetic cry for help that noone can hear