pre-med in college

Ive been in school for 3 years. I wasted the first two because I had bad grades the first year. I had alot going on in my head but mostly I wasted alot of time. Truth be told i was depressed; i ate alot which is why I’m overweight 5’6″ and 195lbs. I also began to cut myself. but I couldn’t even do that right cause i never actually used a knife. I am in school as a Pre-med student and it’s all ive wanted for so long, that for two years ive avoided actually analyzing whether or not I actually want to do it deep down in my soul. I’ve spent the past three days, discussing and arguing with my mom about all the other possibilities of a backup career everything from being a nurse to a PA. Now that i’m taking a serious look at how hard i will have to work to makeup my crappy GPA; I know what i’ll have to do to get into med school but im also making a backup plan. I know it sounds like a step in the right direction but all it makes me think is how disappointed I am with myself. I always thought i was smart and I fooled myself for so long. How could I be so delusional?
My biggest worry is that i feel like im running out of time. One part of me wants to pick an easier career like an RN that could eventually lead me back to being a PA, but that’s really because I want to buy a house with my mom and get her away from my money grubbing, verbally abusive, alcohalic dad. All he has ever done is bash my mom’s dreams and ruin her soul. If this is the one thing that I can give my mom I would be happy but at the same time i don’t want to hate myself for giving up on med school, I would love to apply and reapply to med school and take my time doing research and improving my gpa, but i have to be realistic too, i owe my mom that much, when she has given up everything for such a lazy overweight daughter. I love you mom but i’m so confused right now, i dont know what to do. It overwhelms me.