Had a freak out in Tescos today, things just, snapped. I don’t know. Hard to explain.
George won’t stop texting. Called me to, I just don’t want to talk to anyone.
Feel… Painful. I just, I feel sick, I want to cry, but I can’t. I’m scared for my sanity. I can’t, I’m to easily freaked out, things just, don’t work inside my head anymore, it’s like I can’t see clearly anymore, and sometimes, I think I can. I keep spaceing out, like, I was looking at the moon, and I just blanked, people tried to talk to me but I just wasnt; there. I was somewhere else, and I’m scared of that place. I don’t know, I’ve been happier lately, but my paranoias getting worse, I flinch at everything, some’ll try to give me a hug, I’ll flinch, someone’ll pick up a fork, I’ll flinch, someone’ll stand up, and guess what. I FLINCH. I don’t know, I don’t know what it is. I think it’s because I’ve been hanging out with guys too much, it’s getting to my head.
I think I’m better off as a lesbian. Guys scare me. Can’t trust ’em.
2 comments
its sounds like you and i are going threw the same thing thats what i do all the time now i hate it.
it’s horrible. That feeling of going insane, people say that if you can tell you’re going insane, you’re not, I don’t think that. I think you know when you know.
Fuck, I need Jake, or Josh. God, they’re the only guys I can trust, but of course, they have better things. I won’t bother ’em with that, but I wish they would come online. Fuck, they’re the only ones who help. Who can distract me.