Yui-life (you ever feel this way?)

Yui- Life…

I am covered in dirt,

in a city I can not get used to

I can’t laugh in the same way

I walk past with my head down

The people who miss each other walking quickly by
“Has your dream come true?”

I’m still struggling….

rather then returning to my childhood days
I want to live the present in a better way

I was born to be scared…

I went out to the place where light shines
and spreading both my arms out

I wonder if I can fly ” I thought”

The wings for me to fly…. I don’t have them yet

since things aren’t easy

That is why I can live…..

Just holding up a wet puppy
I laughed a little
My tears started to fall

I want to be loved,

I want to be loved,so I kept saying

You can’t just keep demanding

When I was a child, there where times
I hurt my mother badly

I want to change everything now
going out to the place where light shines
I held that hand strongly
That place, That time, Like this
I can smash it

I can change my life

I cannot say everything in my heart to you
Since things aren’t easy,

That’s why I can live……

I’m going out to the place where that light shines
I will open up and see the map, but

I know,you know, that getting lost isn’t that bad
I can change my life
suffering the days that have past
That is me now

Since things aren’t easy,
That’s why I can live….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADDFdAH2HfI

Before I found this song I really wondered if people felt the way I felt… take a look if your brave enough… We are all dieing dieing is easy its living that is that hard part…. the people who die are gone… we are the survivors live… because we are going to die its a fact of life… live hard care but in moderation…. I joined the army to save lives after someone told me they wanted to kill themselves after a 3 month brake up…. I was going through a 5 year divorce with the only person I ever had sex with in my life she took my 3 kids… So… I joined saved lives and got deployed to Iraq trying to find something to take me out of this world while doing something good… its a shitty life… but once you get used to it… its pretty remarkable because things are not easy life is worth it when you feel intense emotions all the time.you will find love you will hate you can live this life… don’t give in trust me… my sister is gay she is in video editing I hug her ever change I can get because she thought she would never fit in and my pot head brother? He just started school for photo voltaic s solar power…. this life is fucking hard so hard that there are days I just want to sleep through it… but I get up because I find shit like this song I have a million of them when I get deployed to Afghanistan I will take my life with me and test again if its my time to go… they will remember me not because I was kind or was a good person they will remember me because I did not give in everything hurts my body my head my hart but it makes life better … If I hurt someone I apologize there going to die…. if life gets rugh its ok it’s not forever…. it will end someday… if I can save a life the rush is worth it…. not for them for me…. I want to look at people and see them live that is my addiction I want to help them live and you guys help me live you understand? If you want to die go to japan and work on the nuke reactor…. 70 people are not going home because they want to help there country…. there dead… they just have not laid down…. you want to die join the army die not for the country but for the men in uniform who will treat you like your there family you will never know how close you come to people until you find that you might die in the next minute and when you survive it you both had a near death experience together. Don’t do this for me do this for you because you are never more alive then when your about to die… I am afraid of highs… I jump from planes…. do I want to die? …. its a tough question…. more like I want to get as close to death as possible before snatching my life away and without that feeling then I want to give in…. mail me if you need someone

lance2005_lovato@hotmail.com