I keep holding back, I keep backing out, I keep turning back, I need to stop, I just need to decide, to be or not to be, that is the question.
I want to die so fucking badly…please, please, just make this stop.
I wish I would just DECIDE. If I just made a decision and STUCK TO IT I’d be so much better off. I hate everything, I hate everything.
I want this pain to disappear…
4 comments
when i feel like that i try to distract myself best i can. something to take the mind off the pain
Because you can’t decide this tells me you don’t want to do it, because if you did. You would have by now, bare that in mind. You obviously value your life more than you think 🙂
The thing is that I DON’T want to stay. I stay because of my stupid, stupid, selflessness, the same selflessness that causes me this pain, the same selflessness that perpetuates this pain, the same selflessness that will forever bar any progress.
I wish I didn’t feel so obligated to take care of everyone around me, when taking care of myself is difficult enough…
yea when i sit ther with my pills getting ready to od but then dont i hate myself for not being able to do something thhat iv wanted for the past 4 years