I feel horrible. I feel tortured by those around me. They call me names, they accuse me of so many things. And then later on they expect me to be ‘cool’ with them. How can I say I’m not without them accusing me of fueling a fight? They’ve got me trapped. Just like they always do. And anyway, why would they make me see myself as such a horrific person and then want to be friends with me? Who would want to be friends with someone like me? With someone they’ve told me I am?
I feel like I’m not even with myself, I feel like I’m actually somewhere else inside my head, somewhere further back. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s kind of like I’m not actually here, I’m just watching.
5 comments
I understand the feeling of living in your own head. It is hard to explain exactly, but that’s the gist of it. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m real, due to how disconnected I can feel. It’s like being a puppet; you can walk and act like a normal person but at the same time it’s like you’re just looking through a window watching the world go by due to your body being on autopilot. Or something like that, maybe?
That is exactly it, and every now and then I get this feeling that life is weird, and it makes me feel really light headed.
Huh, you’re the second person who’s told me I was exactly right about what I was talking about on these kinds of topics. I guess I just understand it well cause I experience these kinds of things every day. I’m not an expert but I guess I do have some idea about what I’m talking about.
And life is weird. It’s like your living in a dream. I kinda wonder if that’s why I feel so empty headed all the time, like my head is an empty room with a radio that can’t focus on one station playing in the background.
If you’re getting light headed, you might want to take it easy. I don’t know if it’s how your feeling or if you might have a medical condition, but if it gets worse you might want to see a doctor. If it’s just a feeling of spacing out then you should be ok, but if you feel like you might pass out a check up might be a good idea.
@indifference, my advice would be to tell all those stupid fuckers that fuck with you to go straight to the pits of hell. They’re nothing in my eyes. They don’t deserve shit besides a good ass beating.
Xia, yeah, sometimes I feel like everything is going fuzzy and I have to really concentrate, like if I don’t concentrate I’ll just pass out or fall asleep.
Riley, I love comments like this, it sounds weird, but it’s like they’re giving me more confidence to stand up for myself.