sometimes i wonder how i see through my eyes or hear through my ears. i know they explain it all in science and stuff, but ever since i was a kid, like around 5, i would wonder how i can see through my eyes and how it would be for someone to see through my eyes.
i have had suicidal thoughts since i was around 12, when i started high school. hormones kicked in, and my eczema kicked in which was like a disease spreading all over me. Its been alright for the last year or so. i think my puberty has stopped at 14.
anyway the eczema started the suicidal thoughts off. I cant remember why, but i had this idea that “the only way to get rid of eczema is to get rid of myself.” sort of stupid because i was a kid then. but then eczema wasn’t the reason why i wanted to kill myself anymore.
other things ticked me off.
the very sad but true reality of humans: be born, go to school, go uni, get a job, get money buy a house, have a family then bye bye. films like Inception, Watership Down, The Shawshank Redemption (when Brooks commits suicide) seem to fit the ideas that go around in my head.
Since 13 I have tried 2 ways to kill myself, both failed, not because i pussied out, but they didnt work. i would tell you, but policy says i cant say methods. PLEASE DONT SAY FILMS INFLUENCE my suicidal thoughts, they haven’t, they only show what thoguhts i have had for a while.
I’m waiting for the right time, then ill do it.
2 comments
i had that picture before o- o
sry to copy you mate, new here =P