I’m so goddamn lonely, all the time, even when I see people and they try to initiate a conversation, I have nothing to say. I just turned 24, and it’s only been a reminder of how lonely my life is. I don’t feel like I can genuinely change, every time I’ve tried, I’ve bounced back into this state. I walked out of my job because I just couldn’t do anything.
Last year I tried ODing on Benadryl and Acetaminophen with a handle of wine, but I was rescued. I don’t think I’m strong enough to make an attempt again, but unless I do, I’ll wind up some lonely sedentary old man. Nothing is stimulating or in any way enjoyable except burining myself with cigarettes and doing drugs. I’d like to think I could go out like Hunter S. Thompson.
1 comment
i fell you man im 21 and this has been a reoccuring problem of mine, but i have fond that its not really about the people or that you have nothing to say its that your scared to let the people know that ur messed up, you need to embrace that you are a horrible mess and that you may in fact not accomplishing what you want to in life, try to remeber that depression is inside you not other people you cant expect a hero to save you you have to be the villian and say fuck you to the hero and and be defeated and rise from the ashes to become a person you see fit