My Immortal

I am freaking out right now.

My boyfriend hasn’t messaged me, and it’s been about an hour, I know that it may be a short period of time but he usually answer’s right away.

He has HCM (Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) Which is pretty much the following:

“HCM is a form of heart muscle disease in which the muscular walls of the ventricles (lower chambers of the heart) become abnormally thickened.

The thickening of the heart muscle causes the muscle itself to function abnormally. The thickening also can cause the ventricles to become distorted, which can interfere with the function of the aortic valve and the mitral valve, which regulate blood flow.” (I will add a picture for those who don’t really understand, or so you have a better idea.)

HCM doesn’t have a cure, the only way of keeping him alive is a prescription drug, and the ultimate result is death.

Also he said he was going home so I worry even more.

Call me a hypercondriatic but I’m just worried shitless about him.

I already lost one boyfriend to cancer I can’t lose another to a deadly heart condition.

So here I am fearing bad news  with a sick, twisted, nauseous, feeling that something bad has indeed happened, and I don’t get this feeling often only when really bad stuff has taken place.

Waiting in a fearful silence.

-Becca

xoxo