I’m not going to get into everything that has gone wrong in my life during the past 10 years. Trust me, I was one of the strongest. I was one of those who lusted after life. That was then, now is now. I will cease to exist soon. And no one will even know I’m gone. No friends, family, nothing…. Hoping to have all my materials tested and ready to go for a Sept 5th Departure. Wish me luck. I am genuinely excited.
Feel free to email me or message me w/Yahoo Messenger. Â Think they are on my profile. Â But please no matter how well intentioned you think you may be, don’t try and talk me out of this….lol. Â It’s much too late for that.
Tell ya a funny story. Â Probably the closest thing I had to a friend, is a 22 yo female I work with. Â When I told her what I was going to do, she freaked out. Â Now she won’t talk to me, thinks I’m crazy and mean for saying that I want to die. Â Well that’s your life isn’t it?
This one’s mine and it really, really sucks….lol  But I have to give her credit.  Losing her “friendship” was enough for me to make my decision.  So I think I’ll send her a thank you card just before i depart. 😉
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Listen to that station day in and day out-as many hours a day as you can! You will begin to see changes in how you feel and think!
The
imyouroldman;
I’m not going to try and talk you out of it, but if you want someone to talk to at anytime email me at livelovelaugh1313@hotmail.co.uk. I’m here if you need a friend 🙂
How can you call yore self ,,strongest” if in the end you give up?
Dear i’myouroldman.
I agree with you – your “friends” reaction wasn’t very kind, but she is very young, and obviously she can’t deal with serious problems, so don’t be so angry with her. It would be cruel to let her know, she pulled you over the edge, and in the end it’s your life and your decision. She’s not responsible for all the things, that went wrong in your life before you met her – and to be honest – hadn’t you made up your mind when you told her? Maybe you hoped she could save you? That would have been nice, but it turned out she wasn’t strong enough, not her fault. So now you’re left with yourself, again, and i’m so sorry for all the things that went wrong in your life, and the fact that you feel alone in the world. Still i feel you have more to give, as far as i know, you’re not physsical or mentally ill, and not too old to work. Since you don’t enjoy your life anymore, and have no use for it, try to consider if there are others, who could benefit form your life, work and skills. There are a number of organisations, who need volunteers to help people or animals (your choice) who suffers from starvation, disease, homelessnes, lonelyness (ironic isn’t it) or a million other promblems. So forget yourself, and donate the rest of your life / your time and effort to a worthy case. It’s just a suggestion – if you’re religious, you could join a convent (i don’t know if thats the right word in english, i mean the place where munks live), and pray for the rest of us sinners, or for peace in the world – i’m serious. Now, the qeustion is, can you forget yourself, and live to help others? Only the strongest can.
The best wishes for the future, and don’t forget to pray for me 🙂 Love from Helena
Fair enough that you’re hurt by the way she reacted.
But, in her defense, it can probably be rather shocking if someone you like says they’re going to kill themselves. Especially if you haven’t experienced thoughts like that yourself.
I really hope you don’t send her that card. I’m pretty confident it would devastate her and might scar her badly.
Fair enough that you want to die, but you could choose to be kind and make it as easy as possible on other people.
Anyway, I’m curious about why you want to die (or don’t want to live)?
I hear your concerns and will tell you that I have re-visited my feelings for my young friend. She is really not responsible for where I am at and her shunning me is I am sure, a result of her age. So, I will make sure she gets a personal letter from me assuring her that what I did had nothing to do with her……and it doesn’t, really. Hopefully that will bring her peace. BTW, we aren’t really all that close.
You don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. Either they get it or they don’t. Most don’t. Do what makes sense to you, just try and be nice to the hapless lass. People can’t read others peoples minds…..she just doesn’t get it. (Which is fine).
Yeah, she is young and sometimes I jump the gun. She’s a good kid with her own demons and really we weren’t that close. I realize now I had “read” more into the friendship then exists. But now I am back in tune and all is well. I WILL now shelter her from this “thing” that I’m gonna be doing, the best I can.
I tried to commit suicide this past winter. Right after that failed attempt, she starting calling me “Uncle”. It gave me a slim thread to hang onto is all. But I’m good now, focused on the near future and getting ready for the big trip! And she and I are friends and I accept that 100%!!! I feel even more peaceful now……
Sitting here thinking about the phrase “fading away”. I love music and right now I’m listening to a group called Anathema(LOVE THEM), and I’m listening to the song “Are you here”. Not sure if I can post a link here or not but here goes
http://youtu.be/oilZdcOb90A
If you like them you can msg me on Yahoo @ imyouroldman and I’ll send along the link to my YouTube playlist for them, OUTSTANDING@
Hi imyouroldman,
I admire you for caring for your friend at a difficult time.
And also thank you for the music, so to speak. Beautiful and very calming for me.
Glad to hear you’re feeling peaceful. Wish you could always feel that way.
Thanks 🙂