I don’t know how many times i’ve said i’m leaving, too many times though, that’s for sure. this time i’m leaving though. i feel dead inside, empty and hollow. i don’t mean to sound like an emo but y’know. i’m quite excited about this, and the thought of it maybe making it into the news, my old friends that left me might hear it, it excites me. i feel like a dick though, for leaving my loved ones, i hope they understand though.
my suicide letter’s done, 2 pages + a personal note to mum and some of my belongings in my drawer, a heart she gave me last christmas and a dog tag necklace dad gave me. although i don’t know my dad very well, i still love him. he was never there, i shouldn’t love him for what he’s done, but idk i still do. he’s kind of a **** ’cause now that his gf left him he’s starting to hanging out with me which he’s never done in my life. only a few times. and i just wish i treated mum better, i feel like such a fucking dick, i never hit her though, thank fuck, i’d never forgive myself, ever, if i’da hit her.
i’ll tell you all in the comments when i’m leaving, i’m staying for a bit longer, gotta practice my method some more.
30 comments
What’s the plan? 600 Tylenol tablets?
Hey there, aren’t you that cute kid who said you looked like a monkey? (I say ‘kid’ because I’m older, sorry, no offense) Good luck man. Hopefully it’s gonna work this time. That method you’re trying.. Are you absolutely sure you want to kill yourself? You must’ve given some great thought to it. Done your research, etc. Just make sure nobody will find you to interrupt you or you’ll end up with serious brain damage and/or be left a vegetable.
I think it’s partially suspended hanging
Allow me to rephrase this: What is your method of Exiit, Mr. Sebastior? (Inquiring minds want to know).
@ lucy
no not gonna overdose, how could i possibly practice that?
ligature asphyxiation, although i’m not gonna tighten the rope so tight i can’t breathe, gonna block the carotids
@ umbra
yeah, that’s me
yeah i’m sure, at first i wasn’t but now i just feel like i’ve done my thing here.
yeah i’ve done some research, there isn’t really that much information about ligature asphyxiation though, i mean there is, but nothing about what to feel and what not to feel if you’re doing it properly or improperly
yeah i know, i’ma block the door with 2-3 curtain poles, not gonna do it at home ’cause i don’t want mum finding me
Hanging yourself is ugly. If you do the long drop, you’re probably gonna crap your pants. There’s few things less dignified than being found dead with a pile of poop beneath you. Killing yourself is one thing, being found dead after you took a massive dump…..ugh…..good luck with that. Committing suicide on the crapper would be an upgrade, at least whoever finds you can flush the toilet.
i said ligature asphyxiation, not hanging
OK. So what happens with ligature asphyxiation? Walk me through the process, please.
why are you even being such a ****?
anyway
you just tie a ligature around your neck and you block the carotids and jugulars. you don’t have to block the windpipe,
I think it’s more out of actual interest and concern than just “being such a ****”, but that’s just how it seems to me.
@lucy4: Am I right?
yeah but the way she typed everything made it look like she’s just trolling
excuse me if i’m wrong
Oh well… But in any case, I hope it works out for you… I wish you’d give life just one more chance, but in the end, ultimately, it’s your choice… I’m kind of in the same boat, although I haven’t yet reached the point of no return yet, so to speak… The thing is, your suicide will destroy your mother, I can guarantee that, just mull it over a bit… Give yourself a few more days, for her… But again, it remains your decision. Best of luck to you… Do yourself a favour, check out http://www.metanoia.org/suicide
Good luck man thanks for the advice hope it works out for you
thank you man
You know your mom loves you MrSebastior. Think about her. Think about how hurt she will be. I know life isnt always great but it can always look up. And if you getting out is the best for you, it’s a decision you have to make, knowing that you will be gone, no longer feeling what you feel, but also knowing that in exchange, you produced your mom’s suffering. Or you can choose to love your mom, make her happy, and then just maybe, that will bring you joy. Please. There is hope.
i know mum loves me, i wrote a personal note to her apologising for everything i’ve done, i hate myself for doing this to her and my best friend and my gf.
i just feel like i’ve done all i can to make myself happy and i just can’t do this anymore, idk
Good luck! That’s actually my preferred method aswell (because guns are illegal in this country.).. I’d done a lot of research on it.. There’s a lot of info on it on lostallhope.. Just google it to find it.
thank you
i can only find stuff about hanging there, i’ma do ligature asphyxiation
Well it’s practically the same really, to block the carotid artery on the right side of your neck to stop blood flow to your brain, the knot at the front of the neck to avoid crushing your windpipe, how much pressure to use etc. you can even sit down and do it so it’s not nessecarily ‘hanging’.
i know, i was planning on sitting down, idk what i’m supposed to feel when i block the carotid arteries though, i used to get a pressure in my head but i don’t anymore, i don’t really feel anything, kinda light headed and that’s about it, is it still working right?
Please don’t do this. You can find a way to be happy.
good luck man, see you on the other side. my time’s about up here, too.
Please don’t. You can find a way to enjoy life. It will get better.
Bro! What the hell is a note going to do?! That makes absolutely nothing okay! Stop it! All that note is going to do is haunt her! You can choose to love her! Make the choice. Life may have screwed you from the beginning but this is your chance to turn it all around! You can make this choice! This is your life! Please! I dont know you! But I care about you so much! Does this mean nothing to you?! Imagine how much your mom cares if some random 19 year old american is dying to save you! Please!
@dearlybeloved What other side? If you take your life, you think the other side will be better or something?
@will692
i’ve already made my mind, i’m sorry
@ChristDiedSoYouDon’tHaveTo
the note is gonna answer the questions they might ask and explain why i did this, it’s better than not writing a note.
and i love my mother. look man, i gotta do this, it’s a long story
@ChristDiedSoYouDotHaveTo first of app gay name because people died either way and I’m agnostic, reminding me of my dad. (my dad kicked my ass because i hate church, jehovahs witness’s, got my ass kicked at school and he didn’t care he forced me)Would you prefer he write a book, so his mom can get some support financially buy selling copies or something. He wants to go like everyone else, can’t we at least get what we want without being held down by everyone else???
Give us a goddamn thing where there’s no one telling you shit, no one holds you bak from what you desire most. He may not 100% desire death, but it’s closer than his desire to live. This guy is like my other half we are mirror images of each other. I know what he feels it feels unbearable, except I hide in my video games and never go outside thanks to social anxiety, boredom and other. Shit, leave the kid alone (same age almost but yeah). He’s going to off himself, I don’t listen to tht shit. Do you expect him to???
@RogueShadow Your dad is not Jesus. And Jesus did not die so you could get beaten, even if it was seemingly for Christ. Im sorry That happened. I really am. But Jesus was so different than most christians today, just know that most christians represent jesus horribly, but that doesnt change how much Jesus loved everyone. And due to the love he showed me, I want to share that love with everyone man. You are telling the world about how much You want to kill yourself, I am telling the world about the hope that can save someone. What makes his right and mine wrong? It’s the internet. Try just asking God to step in one time. Just tell him it’s the end of the rope and you need him to show up. He will.
I did an a miracle showed up… I’m kidding nothing happened, maybe he or she or whatever gave me the ability or inability to cry, now I can’t express how sad or happy I may be. Christians, all self promote themselves and think of others as evil while they look in a mirror and see themselves as whatever they think is perfection. Judge others, I tried finding a good Christian, all they want is why they desire, perfection and invincibility to be able to live forever, they don’t care about so called gods love, all they care about is themselves and their own greed then they pity you for not seeing things their way. I didn’t say my dad was Jesus smartass
mann don’t get me started with the .. ‘ Humanity ‘ maNn