So it finally all comes down to this, I’m ending everything I once had.
How did I come to this conclusion? Ton’s of misery, sure to other’s I may have the perfect life, but that’s where they’re dead wrong.
Instead of venting about all my pathetic little problems like I usually do, and instead of seeking help in a more medical way, I’m ending what I use to call my life.
I have it all planned out.
Date (of Death): September 19th (My 16th birthday)
Cause: O.D (and if that doesn’t work suffocation, possibly hanging)
I’m gonna OD on whatever I can get my hands on, and well the other choices are pretty simple.
Sure I may be leaving my family, my brother, my so-called boyfriend, and my few friends behind, but I am not selfish.
I swear I’m not capable of doing anything properly so therefore I’m doing this broken world a favor by fading to black.
I would explain but I would either get “Grow up!†or some ridiculous comment telling me to seek help or get over it.
I’m already ridiculed enough, I don’t need more of that bullshit.
My friends are throwing me a sweet sixteen surprise party, as it turns out I have a surprise for them too.
-Becca.
4 comments
Hey Becca…OD’ing on pills(whatever you can get your hands on) probably won’t kill you. It may put you in the hospital and depending on a bunch of different factors, you could wind up in worst shape then you are now.
Brain damage, liver damage and more.
I am not trying to talk you out of anything, just trying to give you some insight from someone who is and has been where you are. If ya feel like talking let me know. I am a really good listener and I never pass judgement on anyone(because my life is a disaster…)
Take care…peace
I’ve got to agree with “imyouroldman” on this one… I’ve tried OD’ing. I figured if i took a lot of sleep medication, i’d fall asleep and die. Instead i got insanely sick, throwing up my own guts.. It was so painful. It led to a stomach pumping. Also, don’t call your problems pathetic! All problems are relavent, no matter how small you *think* they may be. It’s making you think like this, it obviously matters. More people than you think care, and could help. Luck to you.
-Just another person who is where you are.
Even though you are different then everybody else in your little world…
When you finally become aware,
that there are millions of us “different” ones out here,
the world becomes a little less scary
It is so hard to be happy when you are afraid…..
Man, I don’t miss being a teenager. Don’t let the thoughts of “grow up” or “get over it” get to you. As Albus Dumbledore once said, “Age is foolish and forgetful if it can’t understand what it means to be young.”
I hope that, come September 19, things will look different. I had a date set up last year. Two days before I changed my mind, though I’d had the plan for 5 months. I’m approaching one year from my desired death date, and though I can’t say I’m happier, I’m glad I’ve lived through what I have that I wouldn’t have.
All I can say is that being a grown up is hard, but much, much different from high school. Aren’t you a little bit curious to see how you’ll be once you can look back on adolescence and think “Man, I don’t miss being a teenager”?